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Old 04-22-2014, 09:24 AM   #91
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So glad baby's birthday was a success!! I still can't believe it's been a year, phew that went fast!!!

You're so lucky that your hubby is joining you on your eating plan...it makes everything SO much easier.. I am PRAYING that these workshops that we're going to, mine will begin to understand the importance of us doing this together and that he, does indeed, need to drop a little bit of weight.. I worry. I dunno that he realizes these workshops are basically incorporating Chris's philosophy and cycling... I'm hoping that he will jump in and become excited, especially when we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by a lot of people who have done it and made it work for them and succeeded! Tonight's the first class----all about nutrition and exercise--this should be interesting with him Stubborn in the dictionary has his picture right there!

Monica, congrat's on a wonderful DD!! I hope your DH has a lovely birthday!!!
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Old 04-22-2014, 12:02 PM   #92
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OH GIRL! Let us know how tonight goes for you BOTH!
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Old 04-22-2014, 12:58 PM   #93
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I'll letcha know!! I must say, doing my "homework" for tonight and it's bringing up a lot of emotional stuff.. there are questions regarding what transformation means to us personally, the challenges in our lives that have made us who we are, best thing to happen to us, the hardest challenge in our life has been.... there's also a section on numbering our priorities of how they are now & how we want them to be, ie., my transformation, my religion, my family, my work, etc.. struggling there...

I guess I keep wanting to jump to the end and ask, how do I know I'm transformed? Yep, that's me, skip it all and just get to the end...
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Old 04-22-2014, 02:33 PM   #94
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Whew! I've been locked out of Low Carb Friends for like 24 hours? haha. Seriously, though, couldn't get this page to load for anything. Tried a different browser, etc. Nada. I'd get the email that there had been comments here, but I'd click on them and the page would just time out. Same if I came directly to the main site, bbs page, etc. Nada! I missed you!

Danielle, can't wait to hear how class goes! So far having hubby do it with me is not easier. lol. But he does need it and I'd really like to keep him around as long as possible, so I'll play along and hopefully it will get easier. He eats way more often than I do and is pickier about what he eats, so yeah. It'll get easier.

Monika, Happy Birthday to your DH! Love that he's back to JUDDD'ing with you! Hope DD12 is feeling better this afternoon. Poor kiddo.
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Old 04-22-2014, 04:17 PM   #95
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Glad to see you Tami! Technology...where would we be without it!!

I had a hard time doing Atkins without DH being on it... he is a big eater and he seemed to ALWAYS be in my food and he wasn't even following the program! I'm sure things with your DH will come together once you guys find a rhythm.. time will tell if mine decides to march to my drum or not I'm the picky one, he'll eat whatever...so if it doesn't work it's my fault
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:07 AM   #96
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I think DD12 is feeling much better today. She wasn't thrilled her TWO Favorite shorts were still dirty this a.m.......but she wore one on Monday and the other on Tuesday! Today is only Wednesday. She wanted to SAY something but she held her tongue, GOOD DECISION on her part!

We celebrated big for DH yesterday. I got us a couples massage for Jamaica at the resort we are staying at. I told him it was birthday, Mothers and Father's day all together! WIN WIN! He loved his lanterns for near his firepit. They are solar and he thinks they are great. I also got him a book. We went out to dinner and called it all good!
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:08 AM   #97
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DS15 seems to be doing better. I know the meds are helping him. He has some time of true happiness! I think, due to his happier mood, sounds like he/girlfriend have plans for this weekend! Not sure if he is cutting, the therapist has told us to not ask! I always just tell him if he wants to talk, I am always here!
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:02 AM   #98
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Good morning everyone!!

Danielle, what an amazing opportunity to do all that emotional work with someone who can really understand what you're going through! Now that you've shared it, I'm also puzzling over what transformation means to me. I know one thing: people treat fat women badly. The change in how people treat you is just bewildering, and no, it's not all in your attitude!

Tami, I'm glad you're back! I hate it when technology decides to rebel. Gavin's iPad decided it didn't want to charge yesterday. I plugged it in as usual, and it just wouldn't go past 25%! Tried on several outlets. So...finally had to charge it by plugging it in to the usb port on my computer. It took all night!

Monica, the couples massage sounds wonderful. Have you two done that before? I also love the solar lights by the firepit. Nice birthday!

DD was inches away from getting laundry duty, right?

I'm glad your DS is doing better. He's made such a change in his life over the past couple of years. I'm sure it's quite an adjustment!

Me... I'm glad The Muffin is back in school, that's all I've got to say. This morning he was a nine year old teenager.

The vampires are progressing again. Thank goodness.

The parent support group is starting to congeal on its own, thank goodness for that, too. Other parents are stepping up and doing things. I really, really needed that to happen!!

Now if only the rain would let up.

Happy Wednesday, ladies!!

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Old 04-23-2014, 09:54 AM   #99
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Aw, Lynne sounds like things are falling into place nicely for you! Yay!

Monica, what a lovely birthday & perfect gifts. How fun! lol @ DD & her 2 fave shorts. Too funny! Glad DS is having some good moments, too. Prayers & positive thoughts for that trend to continue!

Danielle... how was class? Can't wait to hear all about it! The emotional stuff is so challenging, but important, of course. I like to ignore it as much as possible, but I know that's not good. Blah.

Well, DH made it through his first night at the bar sugar/carb free! It was league night and as soon as we walked in the amazingly awesome bartender handed us our usual - vodka/water for me and jack & coke for hubby... oooppps... I quickly gifted that drink to a friend of ours & ordered a jack & diet coke! Thank GOD DH likes diet coke. Blech. I can't stand it, but it seems to be helping him through this transition. For months now he's said, 'I gave up cigarettes, there's NO WAY I'm giving up my coke, too!' LOL So far so good...
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:56 AM   #100
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Monica, my kiddo found out real quick about complaining about laundry...she now does her own Apparently she wasn't as smart as your DD and stopped while she was ahead
I love what you got DH! The massages sound fabulous even though the thought of it terrifies me slightly
Glad DS seems to be doing well. It's SO uplifting when you see them happy, huh? I can really relate to that! Still sending prayers that the self-harm thing works itself out and he can begin to learn to focus in other ways It would kill me not to ask, kwim?! Much love to you!

Lynne, this journey is such a personal one for all of us. I'm sure transformation can mean a million different things to everyone. I realized that I needed to just "let go" and write and not give a hoot about "getting the right answer"... that doesn't help anyone in the end.
Lots to be said for the kids having a place to be for a few hours...I was ever so glad to send mine out today...Ms. Grumpy Pants! So glad that your parent group is shaping up and other's are taking responsibility! Glad the vampires are cookin and they're back to doing their thing.

Last night's workshop... Body--nutrition & exercise. Had I known I was gonna be thrown outside (even if it was only 10 min) I woulda worn my tennies! They had us out there...all 200 of us...moving and shakin our tail feathers.. I was so thankful that I'd been doing Jillian and was able to keep up and not break out into a massive sweat from some minor exercise. Thanks Jilly!!! Squats, knee lifts...pfffft, no problemo! DH had me in a fit of giggles however...watching him do squats..the poor man hasn't a clue...we've got work to do apparently! I LOVED that he just did it though! I wrote about the mirror exercise in my journal if you care to read...I won't redo it here..it was very emotional and one rehashing was enough!

More ice and rest for my knee. Of course I shouldn't have been out there jumping around and doing exercise last night But I didn't want to be the lone loser not doing anything! Yes, I gave in to peer pressure!
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:50 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by lynne2u View Post
Monica, the couples massage sounds wonderful. Have you two done that before? I also love the solar lights by the firepit. Nice birthday!

DD was inches away from getting laundry duty, right?

I'm glad your DS is doing better. He's made such a change in his life over the past couple of years. I'm sure it's quite an adjustment!
DH and I did a couples massage in Cancun on our 10 year anniversary trip. It was on the beach, secluded and amazing! The one regret we have of that trip is that we DIDN'T go get a 2nd massage. Funny story, so you are naked under the covers (well I leave on my undies) and to be OK with that, I had to have several drinks before arriving for the message. I was quite tipsy! LOL

YES, DD12 just about found herself with a NEW CHORE! I was just standing there waiting for HER to react....I think she was about to and then saw my FACE! Gotta love the irony of a PRETEEN!

DS15 has gone through a lot of changes in the past couple years. Through therapy we have learned he also puts a TON of undo pressure on himself AND he never lets his brain shut down/veg. They tell me it is due to his gifted nature, heck, I would have no idea....I'm not at all gifted!

Glad to see you Lynne! I was starting to worry. For us, summer break starts in just over 4 weeks. I am NOT ready for that!
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:52 PM   #102
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Aw, Lynne sounds like things are falling into place nicely for you! Yay!

Monica, what a lovely birthday & perfect gifts. How fun! lol @ DD & her 2 fave shorts. Too funny! Glad DS is having some good moments, too. Prayers & positive thoughts for that trend to continue!

Danielle... how was class? Can't wait to hear all about it! The emotional stuff is so challenging, but important, of course. I like to ignore it as much as possible, but I know that's not good. Blah.

Well, DH made it through his first night at the bar sugar/carb free! It was league night and as soon as we walked in the amazingly awesome bartender handed us our usual - vodka/water for me and jack & coke for hubby... oooppps... I quickly gifted that drink to a friend of ours & ordered a jack & diet coke! Thank GOD DH likes diet coke. Blech. I can't stand it, but it seems to be helping him through this transition. For months now he's said, 'I gave up cigarettes, there's NO WAY I'm giving up my coke, too!' LOL So far so good...
We must've been posting at the same time!

Well good on your hubby for getting through day 1! I'm not so sure mine will even get to a day 1 Last night he was hilarious with the commentary about food portions and calories...he & the poor man in front of us, you woulda thought they were being led to their death

The deep dark ugly stuff is hard! I committed to facing it and owning it though, There is no other way but to go through it to go UP! I'm thankful to be able to have the opportunity to be able to do this in person. The drive is kinda a PITA but once I'm there it just feels right.
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:53 PM   #103
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Tami - way to go on the DH with switching to Diet Coke! That is progress.

Dani- it DOES kill me not to ask, but I try to do as the therapist tells us. Way to go on moving / shaking with them all. Be careful with that knee. Me, I am nuring a really bad Heel. OH MY GOODNESS it is killing me. I ordered new inserts for my shoes. Dang it. I need to be in sandals by 05/26! what a journey girl! I can't wait to watch you transform!
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Old 04-23-2014, 03:39 PM   #104
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I know how hard it must be! And even harder to go on the faith that someone else knows what's best for our kids
My arms are actually sore today from last night...my shoulders to be exact..OUCH! It just felt really good to feel confident and not panicking about any of it. The idea of transformation is a scary idea, and a pretty lofty one, at that. It ain't gonna be pretty in spots, but I'm in it for the long haul. I mean, what have I got to lose, right?
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Old 04-23-2014, 04:21 PM   #105
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D, just read through your mirror post and wow, that would be tough. I have had that stare down, but not sure I'd handle it well at all in a group of people like that. You're a brave girl & I'm so proud of you! I love that DH is going with you & that he's providing comfort and a bit of comedy relief. lol Good stuff, girl.

Monica... don't know if I could handle a massage. I don't even like it when they massage my legs during a pedicure. Ah, the power of alcohol on our inhibitions. lol You guys are doing so well with DS. Not asking would kill me as well, but I can see where he may feel interrogated if constantly asked about it and then would be defensive, more stressed, etc. Definitely not what he needs right now.

Oh, and that was day 2 for DH, but first trip the bar - where carb laden fried food & sugary drinks abound. He really is doing well so far. We've both gotten some of that initial/restart water weight off, so that's always a nice little boost up front. I'm following your lead, Danielle, and drinking a gallon of water a day. I'm just refilling a jug every night & drinking it throughout the next day. So far so good. In fact, one of my questions on Monday, when I was locked out of LCF was how drinking 1 gallon of water makes you feel like you need to pee 3 gallons. haha.

Happy Hump Day girls... almost to Friday Eve!
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Old 04-24-2014, 06:43 AM   #106
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Dani - I admire your ability to go through this journey the way you are. your attitude is top notch. I sure wish I could channel some of it!!!

Tami - WAY TO GO DH! I love massages. I would get them all the time if they weren't so expensive. DH also gives the best massages, so that is a bonus too! I too drink a gallon of water a day, your body eventually adjusts. I typically try not to drink much though after 5:00 or I just pee all night it seems.

It's FRIDAY - EVE! Woohoo, this week is going much better than last week. Of coarse, last week, was the worst of the worst. Any plans for the weekend ladies?
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:21 AM   #107
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Yay Friday Eve! No plans here. I don't even think we'll go to darts tomorrow night. I'm ready for some down time!
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Old 04-24-2014, 09:34 AM   #108
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The water thing is hard at first, but your body does adjust. I had to giggle at the meeting the other night as water was being discussed. The look on people's faces when they were being told to drink a gallon of water per day or in some instances at least half their body weight in ounces.. I thought, what's the big deal? But then DH reminded me, not everyone chugs the stuff like I do.

Thanks for the support girls...it really has been a tough coupla days. That mirror thing really got me thinking. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday...just worrying about this whole program..and yep, my incessant need to be *perfect*... I am such an all or nothing girl and I am struggling to work within my limitations and accept that it IS good enough. I want so much to be in control of everything and there are just some things that are beyond my reach... and it's OK! I also worry that my poor husband is doing this soley based on what he thinks *I* want. There is ALOT of work involved in achieving the steps to earning our plaques for each letter of BEST.. reading books, a lot of writing, and community service... and it's all on going and gets bigger as we progress.. I have communicated that he shouldn't do this because he is trying to please me. I would understand if this is not his cup of tea...and I worry that he will just suffer through anyways.. I should NOT be worrying about it but I am.... Meh.
Going over the workbook w/ him last night and I swear his eyes glazed over LOL I also worry that he will drag me down...that's mean, huh? I feel like I won't be able to trot off and leave him behind so I'll have to keep dragging him along... and really, what's the point in that if HE isn't learning what he should be from this program? Right? Ugh, so much to think about!

No real plans this weekend. Just our usual Friday night dinner out...maybe a movie.. DH and DD17 both work all weekend so it will just be me. OH! And speaking of DD17...her senior portraits were supposed to be yesterday... they called me at 11am to inform me that they were cancelling our 1pm apt!!! something about an emergency...I was LIVID!!
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Old 04-24-2014, 10:37 PM   #109
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Hi girls can i please join this thread?

I have read the entire thread and feel as if i know you guys and can relate to you on several issues. I am a stay at home mom of 2 sons DS15 and DS17.

been married 22 yrs and both my kids are gifted. My oldest DS17 is Bipolar 2 as well as myself. He was DX 6 mths ago. and takes Depakote. It is scary at tmes but he doing much better on meds.

I am from Kansas originally. Live in Northern Cali now. Love wine tasting in my area.

Started working out with a trainer today. Came home and tried to follow her diet suggestions. small amounts of food at a time. I just ate all day after the workout. It included a little carbs. well that just made me binge. I just cant eat them at all. Drank more water than i have in a while which isnt a lot.
doing LC under 20. veggies, meat cheese, dairy HF I will be getting my Netrition order any day yay

As far as the cutting issue. My understanding is that they are feeling so much pain inside that cutting lets the pain out. Just what I have heard. My heart goes out to you and your DS.

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Old 04-24-2014, 10:42 PM   #110
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My immediate goal is to prepare for a Sandals Vaca May 31-June 8 in Jamaica with DH. So want to lose a little more tone up some and get my energy up so I feel like doing some funstuff there like active stuff. also working on my tan a little everyday it is sunny. I have always said. Tanned fat looks better than white fat. Oh Im 5'8" and 51 years old.

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Old 04-25-2014, 06:34 AM   #111
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Stephie - welcome to our group. Thanks for the insight into your world. You trip sounds amazing. Myself and my family are all headed to Jamaica in May as well. We are staying at Beaches (the family version of Sandals) from May 26 - June 2nd! What part of Kansas are you from? I live in Lawrence (KU Country) but my DH graduated from KState.

WE have a few plans in here. I follow JUDDD. I have had troubles lately following anything with DS15's issues. Being gifted isn't always great now is it? Once he gets past this, hopefully it will be great for him again.
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Old 04-25-2014, 06:36 AM   #112
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I had a good day yesterday. Hoping to ROCK this Down Day today!

It's FRIDAY LADIES!!!!!!!
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Old 04-25-2014, 08:31 AM   #113
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Welcome, Stephie. I'm in Norcal as well. I'm just east of Sacramento. I have two boys 20 & almost 22. They're both still at home - oldest was away at school for 2 years, but is back and still plugging along. He'll have an AA or 2 any minute now and transfers to Sac State this fall with the eventual goal of dual majors in history and education and his teaching certificate. I got lucky with my oldest as he is gifted, but also really social and a strong athlete. I think sports kept him focused and positive for the most part. He was a HS All American and went to a Div 1 military academy - that's when the struggle really began. He had to give up his beloved sport and it was just non stop issues from that point on. The girls in this challenge went through that period with me and can tell you I was scared to death he'd not make it home at all. He did and nearly 2 years later, confidence is almost back to where it was and he's coaching a local high school team. My younger son also coaches for a different high school team, but didn't register for school this semester. I think he's going to end up at a tech school of some sort, but he has no clue what he wants to do. They're both working in addition to their coaching jobs, so we'll give them time & wait and see. I've told them they have all the time in the world as long as they have no dependents

Danielle, I wouldn't worry about the hows or whys of hubby going with you. Even if he doesn't do every exercise and complete every task the way you would he will walk away with WAY more knowledge than he had. Just go with it

Good luck with the DD, Monica!

I was a little bummed to get on the scale this morning only to see it hasn't budged a bit since Wednesday - I know I know 2 days, but I'm still up from before Easter, which was still up from before Christmas. Can't blame anyone but myself for going backwards. Sigh. Still plugging along, though - drinking my water & staying low carb. I almost wonder if I need to up my calories, but going to hold tight for a bit and see how it goes.
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Old 04-25-2014, 08:39 AM   #114
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Hi Steph, glad to have you with us. I love Northern Cali, cannot wait to get back there in a few years! Your trip sounds fantastic, you can definitely make some changes between now and then.

Monica, glad you had sucha good day yesterday....here's to another one today!

Tami, it's not so much worrying about what he does per se...it's that he will expect to earn the rewards without having to work for them... it adds an incredible amount of stress for me.. he's already turning his nose at the things we have to do and has really made zero effort so far... not to mention that he's rolling his eyes at the fact that he "has to wait for me" because the last 2 nights I have taken some time to go through my notebook and journal and add a few things as well as log on to the worksheet that was given to us TO DO EVERYDAY.... this behavior does not bode well and he's just going to get left behind. I already told him I'm not babying him..it's not cool..

I had a great conversation with another girl from this site yesterday and it helped immensely.. she understands my need to be perfect and the irrationality of all of it.. but that my feeling is very valid. I feel better today. The release of negativity is so powerful.

Have a great weekend!
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Old 04-25-2014, 09:26 AM   #115
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Your feeling is absolutely valid and trust me I get it. I always want everything to be perfect and if I'm in charge of it it will be... but these guys of ours... they just don't operate that way. It's probably a good thing. Two of me in this house would be ROUGH. lol Maybe ask him if he'd rather you work on your stuff earlier in the day so he doesn't have to wait? Make yours as perfect as your little type A heart desires and let him deal with his own shortcomings. Either he'll get it and get with the program or he'll decide it's not worth his time - again not any worse than before it started. Seriously, this has taken me a ton of work to let go just a little bit and try to not put my pressure on everyone else in the household. I'm neurotic. I get it. They say they hate it, but really this household would fall apart without me, so they can deal. Ok, just an example from last night. We had this co-op meat pick up for the dogs. We're on the way there and get a text that the meat guy is running late. Hubs drives around, drives around, drives around... time is getting closer... and closer... ok, I know he's running late, but HOW late? My heart is thumping I just want to get there even if it means we sit and wait. 20 minutes of stress rising for me (for no good reason, really) and I finally ask if we can just go sit and wait... and we did... for at least another 30 minutes. But I was there and could see what was going on. Then comes time to actually get out and meet these folks. I had dressed decent, etc. Hubby was in his grubby work uniform. It took every ounce of my being to not suggest he change before we left the house - and then every ounce of control I had to just smile standing there next to grubby grub and be thankful that he at least went to carry my 90 pounds of beef for me. lol Little things... so unimportant... really...
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Old 04-25-2014, 09:37 AM   #116
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Absolutely get it. We're very similar. It just truly irks me because I had planned to do this on my own for the simple fact that I realized how much work this was going to be and without question knew that he would have a hard time with it.. I mean, I know he works 70+ hrs a week I GET IT! I understood it and was not upset about it at all... but to commit to these people, saying you're all in and then to immediately blow it off the first day.. Yeah, doesn't sit well with me. I decided last night that he's on his own. He can own his behavior to the professionals who are taking the time to work with us on this and explain why he's wasting everyone's time. Time will tell if he decides to take the gift he's been given and run with it..
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Old 04-25-2014, 09:53 AM   #117
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Exactly! You rock this **** and let him falter. I actually took an auto body estimating class with my husband... omg... talk about being thrown into a foreign land! But I did my work and aced the class - in his defense he also got an A, but it was relatively easy for those who knew the language. I would be studying & doing home work all week and he would bust out something during his lunch hour or right before class started. Irked the HELL out of me, but NO way was I going to fail! I have perfect A's on my college transcripts and I was NOT going to let this stupid class screw that up! lol. Many thoughts of what was I thinking went through my head, but we managed to survive without killing each other despite me nagging him pretty much every day for an entire semester. lol
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Old 04-25-2014, 10:04 AM   #118
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I dunno why he ever thought this would be up his alley... seriously, we have to read 3 books over the next 3 months...I can't tell you the last time I saw him read a book...if ever? And these are weight loss/ diet related...so not his thing. Yeah, it's gonna be rough watching the trainwreck that is about to ensue... maybe he will just opt out in the next week or so and all will be well.

I would not want anyone messing up my 4.0 either...thank God this is not for a grade!!! I would kill him!!
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Old 04-25-2014, 10:14 AM   #119
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He likely did it for you, which is very very sweet... but yeah, you know how that goes. You have to want to do it for yourself or it's never going to work. All will be well trainwreck or not
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Old 04-25-2014, 10:19 AM   #120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misscobi View Post
He likely did it for you, which is very very sweet... but yeah, you know how that goes. You have to want to do it for yourself or it's never going to work. All will be well trainwreck or not
I know. And this is why I haven't said anything to him. Nada. He hasn't a clue that I feel this way at all. I begged him not to do this for me for that precise reason...he's gotta want it. We'll see what happens.
And yep, VERY grateful that I have a husband who is willing to "suffer" for me LOL, but at the same time, it would be amazing if he could really see how this could possibly change his entire life, not just about weight.
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