B.A.N.T.A. Babes July

[kakay]

Queeny, I am so sorry about Papa Nick and all that you went thru. I know you will miss him. Glad you finally got to spend some alone quiet time with him. It was good to hear your voice on the phone, I hate that it had to be under these circumstances. It was good to get to hear you laugh a little too. I meant what I said, if you need me or just want to talk give me a buzz. Take some time to get so me much needed rest. Papa is safe and well now and its time for you to take care of your self. I know its so hard, but please try. I love you!

[Patlaf]

Queeny, I am so sorry to hear about your father. How blessed he was to be with you at the end.

Pat

[Queeny]

kakay ty for talking to me last night, I think if I talked to you more on the phone I could sound just like you, I love accents

Teesa, Terry, Melly, Lucki, Pat everyone, thank you for the kinds words.

Dad was down to 94 pounds. This last year has been the worse year of his life. It has been really hard to see him like that. I am most mad at the nursing home as dad left for the hospital at 10am and I was not called until 6:30. Meanwhile they had taken dad to two different hospitals to die. Meanwhile they had put dad on a respirator and tubes everywhere. I had a DNR that I reviewed with them 4 times this past month, yep 4 times!

I am mad at the hospital as well. They would not put us in hospice. The problem was dad did not die fast like they thought he would. Yet he didn't have enough time for hospice so he was stuck. We were kicked out of ICU and put into a regular room. He had a younger male in his room that was in a drive by shooting who screamed for pain meds every five minutes. Who had Jerry Springer on his TV at full volume while I whaled away. He had gang bangers visiting in and out and talking about buying cars and such in loud voices.

I had sent my family home the night before. My husband was dizzy and ready to pass out and our dog was getting an operation in the morning, so I sent him home. DD was sick and throwing up so I sent her home as well. Neither one could back until noon the next day. I was fine with that and I welcomed being with dad alone. I just asked him to wait to die until they came back. That is exactly what he did.

We had no privacy and no dignity at the end. I was heart broken. I was alone and to heart broken to leave dad to go complain. Nobody came to check on us for many many many hours. When Nicole got there (she came first) and this was after about 19 hours of me being there, she noticed the ill treatment we were getting and went bullistic. Needless to say the roommate was removed to another room. We had the last hour in peace.

I told the nurse I just wanted to cry as loud as I wanted to and say what I wanted to say to dad in private, that's all I wanted.


Blessings, yes I had a few. He squeezed my hand the entire time, I knew he was with me. He forgot who everyone was but never me. Last week I got a, "hi sweetheart, I love you so much." Those were my gifts.

[Melly]

OMG Queeny ......you made me cry this morning!!

[luckiangel]

QUeeny,

i am so sorry for the thoughtlessness of the people who were around you during this time. They will never know what the honor and gifts of death are. I am equally surprised that the nursing staff wasn't more attentive. Please document what happened to the best of your ability and when you are more fully rested please go talk to the COO or CEO or Director of Nursing of the hospital and let them know what happened. It isn't going to bring your dad back but maybe you can raise awareness so that it doesn't happen to someone else.
I am so happy for you that you were able to spend those last hours with him. Your experience during that last hour sounds very much like it was for me when i lost my dad. He held my hand to the end and we watched him let go. There were like 30 of us in his room. He waited for his 2 brothers to come out. It was the most beautiful experience I have ever witnessed. Please remember the blessings and hold them close to you. Since you feel that you have already been visited open your minds eye to the possibility that he will be back to visit and probably often. I will continue to keep you and him in my prayers. Rest and take care of you now. You're gonna need it to get through the next week or so but you don't need me to tell you that!!!
We'll be thinkin of you.

[Magicsmom]

Queeny I'm so sorry about the way the hospital was. I think lucki is right - you should document it and go to someone in authority. Perhaps you can spare someone else going through it.

[Queeny]

I am planning on taking a week then letting the hospital and nursing home have it. They should have put dad in hospice last week period. They should have called me immediately not 8 hours after they took him. They should have NEVER put him on the ventilator.

I just got back from the funeral home and I made a list of who I have to call and all the phone numbers she gave me. From the car to the house I have lost those papers. I am driving myself insane. DD and I got into a huge fight and all over nothing. We are both just wasted I think. My brother finally came over and we cried in each others arms.

Last night as I was telling KK, we were all sitting on the couch and from across the room the dvds started flying off of the shelf and landed smack dab in the middle of the room. Nobody was even near the shelf and the dogs were sleeping. Right after that all the lights in the house went out (due to a power outage) but man what timing. I can't explain what happened but I have plenty of witnesses who saw it, so I am not crazy.

thanks for letting me ramble that seems to be what I need to do the most

[mousepie]

Queeny KK told me about your dad, I wanted to sign on and tell you how sorry I am for your loss...

[Queeny]

Thank you so much Mousie.

[michelemomof2]

Queeny - I'm so sorry to hear about Papa Nick. You were a wonderful, loving daughter to him. I'm sorry about the hospital mix-up but glad that you got a little time with him alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope you get some rest babe.

[Queeny]

Thank you Michele. I need all the hugs I can get.

Thank you for the email Beck.

[kakay]

Queeny, I wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are making it ok. I love you.

[luckiangel]

QUEENY:h ugs::hug s: :h ugs:

[Magicsmom]

Queeny Papa Nick is at peace now.

[Queeny]

Terry I can feel his peace. I am thankful for that. For me it's anything but peace. Maybe my peace will come later. I did see two doves sitting on my patio. They were sitting on the step facing into the family room, as if to say look at us. My first thought was a sign that mom and dad are back together again. My dad use to raise doves.

[Magicsmom]

Deb, the doves made me You are right. Your parents are together again and happy like they used to be.

[sinny]

Queeny

I am so sorry about your dad. I know what you are going through. My only saving grace was that I knew my mom was at peace and she didn't have to be in those rotten hospitals and suffering anymore. My thoughts and prayers are with you. and your family. Your mom and dad will always be in your heart helping you through everything.

[luckiangel]

Originally Posted by Queeny

Terry I can feel his peace. I am thankful for that. For me it's anything but peace. Maybe my peace will come later. I did see two doves sitting on my patio. They were sitting on the step facing into the family room, as if to say look at us. My first thought was a sign that mom and dad are back together again. My dad use to raise doves.

awwww how sweet!!!!! peace will come Deb.......mine came about three months later. My dad loved the movie Lonesome Dove. When i got back home after the funeral there was a dove that would sit on the electric wire in our back yard and just sit there. Last time i saw it was the beginning of the summer. Focus on all the good stuff....peace will come.

[Queeny]

[luckiangel]

Deb I thought of you this afternoon. I was swimming in my pool by myself, which was SOOOOOOO relaxing and i was doing some laps when i noticed a bird in the peach tree. Something else caught my eye and i looked up and there in my other tree (which was dead a few years ago then came back to life!) were two doves!!!! male and female. they were beautiful. so i said a prayer for you. A few minutes later there was a white dove all by it's lonesome!!! So i said hi to my dad too.

[Melly]

Babes are the bestest

[Queeny]

aww I might as well cry again, been doing that all weekend

Lucki that is a beautiful post, thank you.

I just got a planter delivered but it went to the neighbors and she brought it to me, tripped on my porch and the stuff went everywhere. The planter is from Pam who is Phils exwife that I am friends with. It is the thought that counts and I will replant.

Stayed in jammies again today. I had a long talk with sil in Boston (3hours)who just lost her dad (which was phils dad too). We had a good cry over our dads.

I have ended my relationship with my dil who is rude as h_ _ _. I don't have time in my life for people who can not respect me.

[luckiangel]

there were 10 of them before the storm hit.

[michelemomof2]

Queeny - If crying makes you feel better, then so be it. I would be crying too. I'm sorry your planter got spilled and I am sure you will be able to make the plants look all beautiful again.

Lucki - So cool about the doves.

Becky, Teesa, Nik, Dawn, Solveig, Diana - I miss you all so much! Throw us a bone here and there if you can.

I forgot to say that my puppy is trained already. He hasn't had a mistake in the at all in over 2 weeks and I wasn't sure if he was trained or I was just lucky. He goes to the door to be left out and if you don't see him, he will find me and bark at me and that means he needs out. I'm so happy that is done!

[Queeny]

Melly ty so much for the beautiful card. Your message was very special to me. Thank you so much.

I have not done much on my to do list. Nicole told her dad today about Papa Nick. He was my ex and she said he was crying over the phone. I never knew he felt a connection to my dad. I have not gotten out of my jammies in 3 days. At this rate I really could care less if I ever do.

Michele congrats on training your puppy. Mine just follows what the other two poodles do. He is still in the chewing stage which is horrible. Right now he is Pecks bad boy.

[Queeny]

Sinny ty for the hugs. You would have thought that I was more prepaired for this. It is not like I didn't know things were bad.