Why the fascination with Kimmer? #17 - Page 71

2big4mysize · 05-19-2008, 10:13 PM

so carly we are all wanting to know which faux tater recipe did you use?

And Dee what nice cleo recipe did you add today?

And Dee since you yourself posted you did not do kimkins as Kimmer wrote it and added more food when you needed it why would you consider still endorsing a plan you yourself didn't do. HB wasn't asking what plan you are going to do

Asking just would you still endorse and or recommned the the kimkins eating program.

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:18 PM

Dee..
There are many ex KK ladies who are really struggling right now. So I am sure you are not alone . I would be willing to say that there are some of us who have a idea of what you are going through. It is not easy. But it is a slow process. And if not careful...you can burn out. I think that some may be confused because at one time the lies did not matter and now they do. I also have the idea that many disagree with the KK WOE and the dangers. Look at Gran and her KK medical issues.
I am glad you are getting the support here you need. Everyone needs that. I am also so glad that Grans is here. She has been through so very much and is about to go through so much more then we can imagine. I guess it is a good thing there is enough support to go around. There seems to be a need for it this week.

cleochatra · 05-19-2008, 10:18 PM

gran-- you are so nice! I want to let you know I feel really badly that I gritched at you over at Jeannie's board. I hope you'll forgive me. We were having a difference of opinion on a subject, and I lit into you. I promise I'm not generally that crabby.

Thanks for being so sweet, and I hope you'll stick around! I will come over and we'll snack on your oopsies. 2big says she'll make us philly cheese steaks.

Zbunny · 05-19-2008, 10:19 PM

For what it's worth, I can understand why it might take some time for Dee and Carly et al to digest all of this. I think that we would all love for you to instantly "see the light" and denounce illkins ASAP, but as a realist, I realize that it may take a bit for you to absorb everything and come to your own conclusions.

You were well ensconced within the kimpound for awhile; I think it might take awhile to loosen all of your ties to it. AmyB is a perfect example, if I may point it out. Amy is doing well, making strides, but even she admits that she struggles sometimes.

I think that everyone pushing you has the best of intentions, and they are hoping that you can just jump to what we all see is the only logical conclusion (it's a deadly diet and no one should do it), but that doesn't discount that it may, indeed, take a bit of time for each of you to come to that same realization. We've had lots of time to do research -- I know that VLCDs kill (one's metabolism at the very least -- but they can actually kill), but I didn't know that 6 months ago.

So to conclude...I love everybody here!

gran to angels · 05-19-2008, 10:21 PM

Hey Slick!!! You know.....I noticed the very thing you are talking about! Both you and Amy showed on screen that you had logged in after you were banned and I knew better! I certainly hope they don't use your name and repuation to continue to have conversations at KK! I'm sure Mayberry would let you know if that was happening!

Amy....I love the slippers!!! I love everything that is in my surgery care package!!! That was so sweet of you.....now I just have to keep the gkids away from my low carb popsicles!!! LOL! Oh...I love those kids more than life so I'll share!!! And yes we will work on Atkins together!! and yes after our trip but be warned...unless there are evil Fire Hot Cheet-os I won't eat off plan! Now.....I just have to get a good plan! LOL!! Dr. A here I come!

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:26 PM

Gran
I did my first Atkins day today. So we can do it...we WILL do it.
Tell the grandkids to eat all they want..I can send more and I will.

v0xhumana · 05-19-2008, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HoneyBee2

Dee exactly what is breathing room to you?
Is cramming things down your throat, to you, a phrase synonymous with asking direct questions?

You have time to chit-chat and you have time to wax and wane a poignant post, but you can't clarify the meanings of your own words.

The whole helpless, attacked victim, sentiment-when one is asked questions, that they don't want to answer - is not anything new.
I do believe such behavior is exactly what got this whole thread started in the first place.

ITA.

gran to angels · 05-19-2008, 10:29 PM

Boy you guys type fast around here!!!

Cleo....generally speaking...I have big shoulders and can take a snark or two as long as it's above the belt!!! You are so sweet that I didn't see you being crabby at all! I would be truly honored for you and 2big to come to my house for oopsies and steak!!! You name the time....I'll be here!

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:31 PM

Zbunny,
Yes I do struggle. It took me a long time to get out and I did not walk out...I was kicked out.
One thing I think ex KK people need to understand, myself included. There are many of us out there and everyone has a different experience with Heidi and KK.
It is great to jump out of there and into the KK fight. But sometimes we need to think before we act. Gosh remind me of that daily. lol

cleochatra · 05-19-2008, 10:31 PM

I started Atkins again today (took a couple weeks off. Don't tell 2big).

It sounds like we have a new crew of inductioneers over here! The first 4 days suck buttmustard.

After that, smooth sailing.

Remember! Just 4 more days!

2big4mysize · 05-19-2008, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyb1569

Gran...
Ssshhhh do not go telling them I said I liked it here...lol

Are we what they call Ex KK pissy buddies? lol
They have a reputation to live up too...lol

We will work on Atkins together. But umm...can that wait till after our trip? Cause you know we may want to taste a lil this or that...lol
Hugs to you..and go put those slippers on.

isn't that what you said about your last vacation? you'd wait till you got back to start?

Life is full of trips and events to celebrate. We can share the love and friendships whe share with friends family and coworkers and skip the "foods" served during those events and live our low carb lifestyle always.

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:31 PM

Um...Grans...Amy B is coughing...you know what that means?

v0xhumana · 05-19-2008, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEEDLYNN

I came here because a google search brought me here, but I can just as easily go somewhere else for my answers.
My original mission here is accomplished...I've proven that I'm not a fraud and I'm not a liar.

You know, I tried to reproduce this on Google, and the only thing I can come up with are responses from you, AFTER you came in here and initially attacked us.

You gotta admit that looks a little fishy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEEDLYNN

My original mission here is accomplished...I've proven that I'm not a fraud and I'm not a liar.

This seems to be a recurring theme for you, almost like a mantra of sorts.

DEEDLYNN · 05-19-2008, 10:33 PM

I'm absolutely done defending myself. I have given my complete story to someone and I expect that it will all be out soon. Maybe it will answer all the questions. Maybe it won't. Quite honestly, I can't continue debating. and you know what....God help me....it makes me wish that I was never the "poster girl" for KK, that no one had ever heard my name and that I was still within the walls of the KIMPIRE where I was safe. Because I don't feel safe anywhere anymore.
I just poured everything out into 5 pages of text and hit send. I'd say within days, it will show up where it may do some good.
In any event guys, I don't have it in me anymore. If the goal was for me to be defeated...I am....I don't spend hours over these posts...writing and typing is something I do...words come to me. This was important to me and I spent more time than I should've...just to continue to be the black sheep. I'm sure this will hit the KIMPIRE tomorrow and I will be the brunt of all their jokes as well.
Thanks..thanks for being understanding. Thanks for helping me through this.
Victim...maybe...someone seeking answers and trying to digest them..probably...someone who I think has proven themselves over and over and over again on this thread...Absolutely.
Here is where I am right now....is this direct enough for you.
1) I absolutely will not take a stand against the KK WOE right now. I explained why I increased my calories..If that explaination is not good enough for you....so be it. If you wanna label it something other than KK...do it. I am not taking a stand right now against the WOE
2) I will not answer to you or anyone where I spend my time. Yes, I am chit chatting. Did you ever think that I need that support right now...or do you care. I D*(*#%(*# sure am not getting support here. I was simply pointing out that with my other resonsibilities, I am trying to educate myself, but I don't have 24/7 to sit here. As it is, I am getting 4 hours of sleep a night. I am TRYING...but just like defending my myspece bling and doctors appointments, I am defeniding my need for support right now.
3) I'm sure that this thread has a ton of experience with "victims" and being "victimized". I do not. I have not experienced anything before in my life that compares to the recent experience and realizations of HEIDI and I have not experienced anything in life like I have on this thread. It may not be new to you. It is very new to me. (Try combining that with not knowing who you can trust....not knowing who has your back and who is getting ready to stab you in the back--try it once.).

How's that...Is it direct enough.
There are aspects of my own story that I can't even digest right now, aspects that may very well be important, or may just be important to me. I have much bigger things going on than whether or not I eat 70% fat or 5% fat. Sorry, but that's the facts.
So you guys go beat the drums on the WOE...that's not where my version of the story is right now. Not at all.

For the record, breathing room does not mean that I won't answer direct questions. Breathing room is a small request that you allow me to digest what is going on and what has happened. I mean really, the meat & potatoes of Dee has just occurred over a period of time since last Thursday, with the bulk of it happening on Saturday & Sunday. Today is what....MONDAY...My whole support life as I know it has changed in 3 days. Thanks for the understanding and compassion.

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:35 PM

Umm...2big...is it past your bedtime? lol

Okay you are right...darnit. Do you keep notes or what? You scare me with what you know ..lol

Gosh...

2big4mysize · 05-19-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cleochatra

I started Atkins again today (took a couple weeks off. Don't tell 2big).

It sounds like we have a new crew of inductioneers over here! The first 4 days suck buttmustard.

After that, smooth sailing.

Remember! Just 4 more days!

what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gran to angels · 05-19-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyb1569

Gran
I did my first Atkins day today. So we can do it...we WILL do it.
Tell the grandkids to eat all they want..I can send more and I will.

You got it Amy! I have so much great info here and at Camp...I know I have to heal first and I will. I'm telling you right now...I will come out of this better than before! I will do this in spite of Heidi and the mind games I'm undoing daily! I will be healthy again! I will stand face to face with Heidi and ask her why....not that I will get a straight answer....she only knows how to lie.

cleochatra · 05-19-2008, 10:35 PM

Dammit! Who told you?

gran to angels · 05-19-2008, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyb1569

Um...Grans...Amy B is coughing...you know what that means?

No....what does that mean?

I'm with you 2big!!! I can go on vacation and still be good!!! LOL!!!

DEEDLYNN · 05-19-2008, 10:37 PM

Dear Gpd VO....have it...have your thread. Be right. Your right. I didn't google jack chit. I just came here to absolutely exhaust myself, get banned from my support and provide you with some entertainment.

Believe what you want to believe...your going to anyway.

Again...thanks for the compassion and support...

slickchick · 05-19-2008, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEEDLYNN

I'm absolutely done defending myself.

I haven't read anything here that is requiring you to defend yourself. This is a choice you are making on your own.

Quote:

Because I don't feel safe anywhere anymore.

There are many that don't feel safe anywhere - either right after being banned or still today.... months later.

Quote:

Breathing room

No one is not giving you breathing room. You have chosen not to take it. It is your choice to lash back immediately or take the time you need and reflect before responding.

Quote:

My whole support life as I know it has changed in 3 days.

Oh Dee, I so understand this, truly I do. Many of us here have been in your shoes.

It is late - go to sleep and rest. Tomorrow can be better.

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:44 PM

Umm...just so you know 2big is still up and online...see..her light is one.
So for now we are all on plan and getting tons of what we all need and none of what we do not.
2big...are you sleepy yet? Maybe go rest for a while..so Cleo can tell us more secrets..lol

Ya know I think you are the best...bullheaded but 2big is the best...lol

DEEDLYNN · 05-19-2008, 10:46 PM

Thanks slick...but tomorrow is not going to be better. The next day is not going to be better. Next week is not going be better. The only way that I'd be better right now...quite frankly...is DEAD.

v0xhumana · 05-19-2008, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEEDLYNN

Dear Gpd VO....have it...have your thread. Be right. Your right. I didn't google jack chit. I just came here to absolutely exhaust myself, get banned from my support and provide you with some entertainment.

Believe what you want to believe...your going to anyway.

Again...thanks for the compassion and support...

What? Come on, now.
See what I mean? I wasn't being accusatory or anything, and you get all hostile. Do I not have any credence, at all? Is there no merit or worth to any of my questions, other than to harrass you?

Hey, we're victims here, too.

tiggerr · 05-19-2008, 10:46 PM

Dee, really?

v0xhumana · 05-19-2008, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEEDLYNN

Thanks slick...but tomorrow is not going to be better. The next day is not going to be better. Next week is not going be better. The only way that I'd be better right now...quite frankly...is DEAD.

WTH?

Amyb1569 · 05-19-2008, 10:51 PM

Dee..
I swear I am trying to understand where you are coming from. I really am. I can say without a doubt that I know how you feel. I lost my home too and did not even have the guts or the honor of walking out the door. I think if I had made that my choice it would of helped me.
It seems to me that everyone here has been very supportive to you. I do see the questions. But you have to try to remember that you came through the gates like a bull. lol. everyone's emotions can not be turned on and off so fast. You changed your mind so fast and maybe it is hard for some to understand how that could happen. Does that make them wrong? or you wrong? NO. Just not meshing on things right now. IT happens.
I have had myself convinced for days that I was not really wanted here. I know Heidi feeds that to people who slip it to me.
Emotions are high . Feelings are fragile. They get hurt and take time to heal.
You know...you do not have to save the world in one day. Take a break. Back away from the key board and phone calls and interviews etc. Maybe you need some Dee time. trust me Heidi will still be here tomorrow to be dealt with. She is like a mold...hard to get rid of.

05-19-2008, 10:18 PM	#2102
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Dee.. There are many ex KK ladies who are really struggling right now. So I am sure you are not alone . I would be willing to say that there are some of us who have a idea of what you are going through. It is not easy. But it is a slow process. And if not careful...you can burn out. I think that some may be confused because at one time the lies did not matter and now they do. I also have the idea that many disagree with the KK WOE and the dangers. Look at Gran and her KK medical issues. I am glad you are getting the support here you need. Everyone needs that. I am also so glad that Grans is here. She has been through so very much and is about to go through so much more then we can imagine. I guess it is a good thing there is enough support to go around. There seems to be a need for it this week. __________________ http://amyb1569.wordpress.com/ http://ourdailyblessinglife-amyb.blogspot.com/ http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/philipbriggs

05-19-2008, 10:46 PM	#2125
tiggerr Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Dutch transplant in La-la-land aka as California Posts: 15,349 Gallery: tiggerr Stats: Two Half Marathons down, one to go WOE: Back on the LC track. Start Date: May,2003	Dee, really? Last edited by tiggerr : 05-19-2008 at 10:48 PM.

05-19-2008, 10:13 PM	#2101
2big4mysize Blabbermouth!!! Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 5,017 Gallery: 2big4mysize Stats: 313 to current goalie 169-173 WOE: Atkins 2002 Start Date: june 1 2002	so carly we are all wanting to know which faux tater recipe did you use? And Dee what nice cleo recipe did you add today? And Dee since you yourself posted you did not do kimkins as Kimmer wrote it and added more food when you needed it why would you consider still endorsing a plan you yourself didn't do. HB wasn't asking what plan you are going to do Asking just would you still endorse and or recommned the the kimkins eating program.

05-19-2008, 10:18 PM	#2103
cleochatra Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 7,885 Gallery: cleochatra Stats: 350/264/125 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 1, 2008	gran-- you are so nice! I want to let you know I feel really badly that I gritched at you over at Jeannie's board. I hope you'll forgive me. We were having a difference of opinion on a subject, and I lit into you. I promise I'm not generally that crabby. Thanks for being so sweet, and I hope you'll stick around! I will come over and we'll snack on your oopsies. 2big says she'll make us philly cheese steaks.

05-19-2008, 10:19 PM	#2104
Zbunny MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: I got a fever, and the only prescription... is more cowbell Posts: 1,079 Gallery: Zbunny Stats: 12-14/10-12/8-10 WOE: More cow(bell)	For what it's worth, I can understand why it might take some time for Dee and Carly et al to digest all of this. I think that we would all love for you to instantly "see the light" and denounce illkins ASAP, but as a realist, I realize that it may take a bit for you to absorb everything and come to your own conclusions. You were well ensconced within the kimpound for awhile; I think it might take awhile to loosen all of your ties to it. AmyB is a perfect example, if I may point it out. Amy is doing well, making strides, but even she admits that she struggles sometimes. I think that everyone pushing you has the best of intentions, and they are hoping that you can just jump to what we all see is the only logical conclusion (it's a deadly diet and no one should do it), but that doesn't discount that it may, indeed, take a bit of time for each of you to come to that same realization. We've had lots of time to do research -- I know that VLCDs kill (one's metabolism at the very least -- but they can actually kill), but I didn't know that 6 months ago. So to conclude...I love everybody here!

05-19-2008, 10:21 PM	#2105
gran to angels Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: So Cal Posts: 64 Gallery: gran to angels WOE: Atkins	Hey Slick!!! You know.....I noticed the very thing you are talking about! Both you and Amy showed on screen that you had logged in after you were banned and I knew better! I certainly hope they don't use your name and repuation to continue to have conversations at KK! I'm sure Mayberry would let you know if that was happening! Amy....I love the slippers!!! I love everything that is in my surgery care package!!! That was so sweet of you.....now I just have to keep the gkids away from my low carb popsicles!!! LOL! Oh...I love those kids more than life so I'll share!!! And yes we will work on Atkins together!! and yes after our trip but be warned...unless there are evil Fire Hot Cheet-os I won't eat off plan! Now.....I just have to get a good plan! LOL!! Dr. A here I come!

05-19-2008, 10:26 PM	#2106
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Gran I did my first Atkins day today. So we can do it...we WILL do it. Tell the grandkids to eat all they want..I can send more and I will.

05-19-2008, 10:29 PM	#2108
gran to angels Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: So Cal Posts: 64 Gallery: gran to angels WOE: Atkins	Boy you guys type fast around here!!! Cleo....generally speaking...I have big shoulders and can take a snark or two as long as it's above the belt!!! You are so sweet that I didn't see you being crabby at all! I would be truly honored for you and 2big to come to my house for oopsies and steak!!! You name the time....I'll be here!

05-19-2008, 10:31 PM	#2109
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Zbunny, Yes I do struggle. It took me a long time to get out and I did not walk out...I was kicked out. One thing I think ex KK people need to understand, myself included. There are many of us out there and everyone has a different experience with Heidi and KK. It is great to jump out of there and into the KK fight. But sometimes we need to think before we act. Gosh remind me of that daily. lol

05-19-2008, 10:31 PM	#2110
cleochatra Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 7,885 Gallery: cleochatra Stats: 350/264/125 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 1, 2008	I started Atkins again today (took a couple weeks off. Don't tell 2big). It sounds like we have a new crew of inductioneers over here! The first 4 days suck buttmustard. After that, smooth sailing. Remember! Just 4 more days!

05-19-2008, 10:31 PM	#2112
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Um...Grans...Amy B is coughing...you know what that means?

05-19-2008, 10:33 PM	#2114
DEEDLYNN Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 920 Gallery: DEEDLYNN	I'm absolutely done defending myself. I have given my complete story to someone and I expect that it will all be out soon. Maybe it will answer all the questions. Maybe it won't. Quite honestly, I can't continue debating. and you know what....God help me....it makes me wish that I was never the "poster girl" for KK, that no one had ever heard my name and that I was still within the walls of the KIMPIRE where I was safe. Because I don't feel safe anywhere anymore. I just poured everything out into 5 pages of text and hit send. I'd say within days, it will show up where it may do some good. In any event guys, I don't have it in me anymore. If the goal was for me to be defeated...I am....I don't spend hours over these posts...writing and typing is something I do...words come to me. This was important to me and I spent more time than I should've...just to continue to be the black sheep. I'm sure this will hit the KIMPIRE tomorrow and I will be the brunt of all their jokes as well. Thanks..thanks for being understanding. Thanks for helping me through this. Victim...maybe...someone seeking answers and trying to digest them..probably...someone who I think has proven themselves over and over and over again on this thread...Absolutely. Here is where I am right now....is this direct enough for you. 1) I absolutely will not take a stand against the KK WOE right now. I explained why I increased my calories..If that explaination is not good enough for you....so be it. If you wanna label it something other than KK...do it. I am not taking a stand right now against the WOE 2) I will not answer to you or anyone where I spend my time. Yes, I am chit chatting. Did you ever think that I need that support right now...or do you care. I D(#%(*# sure am not getting support here. I was simply pointing out that with my other resonsibilities, I am trying to educate myself, but I don't have 24/7 to sit here. As it is, I am getting 4 hours of sleep a night. I am TRYING...but just like defending my myspece bling and doctors appointments, I am defeniding my need for support right now. 3) I'm sure that this thread has a ton of experience with "victims" and being "victimized". I do not. I have not experienced anything before in my life that compares to the recent experience and realizations of HEIDI and I have not experienced anything in life like I have on this thread. It may not be new to you. It is very new to me. (Try combining that with not knowing who you can trust....not knowing who has your back and who is getting ready to stab you in the back--try it once.). How's that...Is it direct enough. There are aspects of my own story that I can't even digest right now, aspects that may very well be important, or may just be important to me. I have much bigger things going on than whether or not I eat 70% fat or 5% fat. Sorry, but that's the facts. So you guys go beat the drums on the WOE...that's not where my version of the story is right now. Not at all. For the record, breathing room does not mean that I won't answer direct questions. Breathing room is a small request that you allow me to digest what is going on and what has happened. I mean really, the meat & potatoes of Dee has just occurred over a period of time since last Thursday, with the bulk of it happening on Saturday & Sunday. Today is what....MONDAY...My whole support life as I know it has changed in 3 days. Thanks for the understanding and compassion.

05-19-2008, 10:35 PM	#2115
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Umm...2big...is it past your bedtime? lol Okay you are right...darnit. Do you keep notes or what? You scare me with what you know ..lol Gosh...

05-19-2008, 10:35 PM	#2118
cleochatra Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 7,885 Gallery: cleochatra Stats: 350/264/125 WOE: Atkins Start Date: January 1, 2008	Dammit! Who told you?

05-19-2008, 10:37 PM	#2120
DEEDLYNN Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 920 Gallery: DEEDLYNN	Dear Gpd VO....have it...have your thread. Be right. Your right. I didn't google jack chit. I just came here to absolutely exhaust myself, get banned from my support and provide you with some entertainment. Believe what you want to believe...your going to anyway. Again...thanks for the compassion and support...

05-19-2008, 10:44 PM	#2122
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Umm...just so you know 2big is still up and online...see..her light is one. So for now we are all on plan and getting tons of what we all need and none of what we do not. 2big...are you sleepy yet? Maybe go rest for a while..so Cleo can tell us more secrets..lol Ya know I think you are the best...bullheaded but 2big is the best...lol

05-19-2008, 10:46 PM	#2123
DEEDLYNN Senior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 920 Gallery: DEEDLYNN	Thanks slick...but tomorrow is not going to be better. The next day is not going to be better. Next week is not going be better. The only way that I'd be better right now...quite frankly...is DEAD.

05-19-2008, 10:51 PM	#2127
Amyb1569 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 822 Gallery: Amyb1569	Dee.. I swear I am trying to understand where you are coming from. I really am. I can say without a doubt that I know how you feel. I lost my home too and did not even have the guts or the honor of walking out the door. I think if I had made that my choice it would of helped me. It seems to me that everyone here has been very supportive to you. I do see the questions. But you have to try to remember that you came through the gates like a bull. lol. everyone's emotions can not be turned on and off so fast. You changed your mind so fast and maybe it is hard for some to understand how that could happen. Does that make them wrong? or you wrong? NO. Just not meshing on things right now. IT happens. I have had myself convinced for days that I was not really wanted here. I know Heidi feeds that to people who slip it to me. Emotions are high . Feelings are fragile. They get hurt and take time to heal. You know...you do not have to save the world in one day. Take a break. Back away from the key board and phone calls and interviews etc. Maybe you need some Dee time. trust me Heidi will still be here tomorrow to be dealt with. She is like a mold...hard to get rid of.