A year and a half post Kimkins

LaurieRobo · 02-09-2008, 04:35 AM

I'm sitting here this morning reflecting on my past year and just started writing. June 2006 - I've shared my kimkins story before, but here is a synopsis.

June 2006 started kimkins, at a weight I had called goal for a couple years... 150-155 on my 5' 7" muscular frame.. I had maintained there for 3 years easily
(heavy as a child, teenager, and in my 20's - 170 to 190) Very healthy weight but you know that voice in your head... so I decided to try and go lower...

Kimkins did that - very quickly, but the end of July I was down to 135 along, with lying in bed and my heart palpitating, hair loss, chronic constipation
(which started a year long battle w/laxatives - which I am free from now) and who knows what other subtle things I have missed. I have a lot of memory lapse from that time, I really only remember that HIGH feeling of stepping on the scale every day to see it rapidly dropping and I remember that constant rumble in my stomach - the feeling of starving and how scared I had gotten. I don't know what woke me up. I am very thankful that in August 2006 I went on vacation to my parents in Florida, with my family and met up with my sister from OR... It was a break from my eating/starving cycle - a slap in the face reality - I could NOT continue and show my family how little I was eating (less than 500 calories per day). I was fortunate and knew how to maintain from previous experience, so I gradually upped my calories and settled with a bit of a gain and was okay with that.

2007 was the year of healing... I gradually gained back to about 140-145 and felt really good. 135 was way to thin for my body frame, (heck I started
buying clothes in the girls dept.) I felt really good! When I was young I never moved a muscle, but in the past 10 years or so I really started to enjoy exercise, I was an avid walker and prior kimkins, I was running about 20-25 miles a week, and over the years have had various gym memberships etc. July 2007 my SO and I joined a gym and I started adding weights to my workouts again, late August I started working out with a Personal Trainer 2X a week as I still do today. I do some sort of workout 6 days a week, run, x-train, weight train, or t-tapp, not for my weight but because I LOVE it and I love the way it makes ME feel. I am going to be 43 in a couple weeks and I have the best body of my entire life!!! With the addition of weights I have managed to gain my way back to about 150-155 lbs... my original pre-kimkins maintenance weight, however I still can wear MOST of the clothes I was wearing at 140 lbs, (except my favorite jeans, cause my butt is now higher - LOL) I am fit, strong, and healthy!

So my point, I just PrettyPaula struck a cord for me with her post about being drawn back to kimkins. Over the past year, I too have been fighting that draw in my head to get that number back on the scale lower (even though I was too thin). That power and control over eating was addictive, that high of stepping on the scale is so alluring. That feeling that starving had given me was like a drug - it was totally warped - I was on the verge of a major eating disorder. Also, this past year I kicked the laxative habit - with the help of Allicat and her coming clean and confessing that she too was addicted to laxatives.

I have read, but stopped posting in the FWK thread - it is just to painful for me - I am not over this - but getting there.

I have found what is working for me high fat-mod protein-vlc and plenty of calories - above 1700 daily and am settling there. I have experimented different levels over the past 7 or 8 months, but always get back to this and this is were I feel the best, I guess that should stay with what works huh - DUH...
I feel good, my weight is stable and I am happy. It has taken me 1.5 years to get here and I'm still not totally accepting of the number on the scale, but
I'm getting there. I have done a lot of repairs to my health, metabolism, and body over that past year and it's working. Maybe the number will go down,
maybe not but today I don't struggle with my eating and that is a good thing.

I STILL have to quiet that kimkins voice in my head - but it is getting better and easier... Someday maybe it will go away completely! I have changed my stats to reflect my acceptance of my current weight and my current goal... Off to have some scrambled eggs with butter for breakfast now that I've had my coffee w/ heavy cream!

JuliaL · 02-09-2008, 05:07 AM

Wow, Laurie you don't know how much I needed to read your post this morning. I've been really struggling with the voices in my head lately too. I never did Kimkins, but lately I've gained some weight due to menopause, possible thyroid issues (I'm working with an endo to figure that out) and just plain life stress. It's so hard to see the number on the scale and know that it's more than 10 pounds above what I want to see. It's so hard not to get down on myself about it.

But your post reminded me that the number doesn't really mean anything as long as you're living a healthy lifestyle. I'm eating nothing but healthy, whole foods, and working out six days a week. I can still wear a size 8, and that is still 4 sizes smaller than I was at my highest weight. I'm still a non-smoker, and I feel and look better than I did when I was 30.

Thank you for sharing, and congratulations on your success at keeping it all in perspective and putting yourself at the top of your priority list!

Bluqq · 02-09-2008, 05:59 AM

outstanding post!

LaurieRobo · 02-09-2008, 03:47 PM

Julia - I hear ya! Your posts have helped me too!

I was happy at this weight for so long and now I'm in even better shape - I just want to

myself sometimes... I'm letting a NUMBER mess with my head!

It's been a long road and I'm not there totally yet, but each day I'm trying to be more accepting and letting go!

Thanks Buqq.... There are so many folks that have had issues here... Normal strong, intelligent folks and I can't even explain fully what this did to my head!

Tooter · 02-11-2008, 05:20 AM

Laurie, I loved your posted. I just recently up'd my goal weight. I had been very strict at keeping it at 124lbs. If the number went up a little, I went strict again. I truly believe that I had my goal weight too low all this time.

I have up'd it to 128 to 132 lbs.

There is a Phrase that I have said alot, and It really applies to me now.

"Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD"!

So, I "can" be 124lbs, but "should" I really be at that weight? At 18 that was a good weight, at 45? No.

I think I have found my answer. My body kept TRYING to get me to this goal weight and I kept forcing it back down.

Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD!

There is more to who we are, then a number. Sometimes it takes Us awhile to truly learn that. Or, we have to learn it in "stages". It truly is a Journey, isn't it?

Loved your post!

2big4mysize · 02-11-2008, 10:04 AM

woo hoo Laurie,

I love that you have been able to repair your body even if you are still working on your scalenumberphobia. One huge thing for me was discovering that even though the scales said 170, and the BMI said still overweight the dunk tank said less then 15% body fat. Ask your trainer to check your body fat % for you and see if you aren't at the low end of the healthy range for you. I know seeing that for me was the holy cow I'm a goalie moment for me.

LaurieRobo · 02-11-2008, 11:54 AM

Tooter-- I love it!!! "Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD"! - So very TRUE!!!!!

2big - I know that for a woman my body fat is low - and I have increased my lean body mass... My last eval my lbm was up 1.2%. Due again the end of the month for a re-eval - plus increased VO2, pushups, situps and flexibility - all in the above excellent range

- I have 125lbs of LBM so I know in my head I shouldn't be any lower in scale weight... LOL but there is that but... the scale is a blasted tease... I fluctuate easily between 149 and 153 a good range... I'm a gonna just step away from the scale again and keep doing what I'm doing, cause I know in my head it is right thing to do!

2big4mysize · 02-11-2008, 04:15 PM

good for you.

Even at your heaviest fluctuation you are only 18.3% body fat very very healthy. Many folk doing Atkins because of the added lean body mass noticed on the way back down from their start weight they are wearing smaller sizes at heavier scale weights, even clothes from their own closet so it isn't a sizing thing.

Cutie · 02-12-2008, 07:04 PM

laurie!

SO proud of you gf!

LaurieRobo · 02-13-2008, 11:43 AM

Amy!!!

Thanks... ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!

lisa89 · 02-25-2008, 02:26 PM

what a wonderful story!..and thank goodness i didn't find out about kimkins when i knew nothing about dieting or i would've tryed it and got really sick....i hope that kimkins site is taken down soon...best wishes laurie

Dynamicdoll · 06-28-2008, 01:41 PM

I still believe that people who have encountered medical issues with Kimkin's means that they are eating away from what is right for their metabolic type. I was on all these low carb diets for years as well as the Quick Weight Loss Diets which I lost tons on. At 67 I am overweight but because of a late pregnancy in life and thyroid issues, but not because of the diet. I am one of the healthier 67s around. So it isn't necessarily Kimkin's. It could be that low carb was not for your body type. My sister would get sick on low carb. She needs mixed carb

02-09-2008, 04:35 AM	#1
LaurieRobo Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 726 Gallery: LaurieRobo Stats: Pregnancy High 237 175/155/150-155 WOE: Fueling my workouts and running with plenty of FAT Start Date: March 2002	A year and a half post Kimkins I'm sitting here this morning reflecting on my past year and just started writing. June 2006 - I've shared my kimkins story before, but here is a synopsis. June 2006 started kimkins, at a weight I had called goal for a couple years... 150-155 on my 5' 7" muscular frame.. I had maintained there for 3 years easily (heavy as a child, teenager, and in my 20's - 170 to 190) Very healthy weight but you know that voice in your head... so I decided to try and go lower... Kimkins did that - very quickly, but the end of July I was down to 135 along, with lying in bed and my heart palpitating, hair loss, chronic constipation (which started a year long battle w/laxatives - which I am free from now) and who knows what other subtle things I have missed. I have a lot of memory lapse from that time, I really only remember that HIGH feeling of stepping on the scale every day to see it rapidly dropping and I remember that constant rumble in my stomach - the feeling of starving and how scared I had gotten. I don't know what woke me up. I am very thankful that in August 2006 I went on vacation to my parents in Florida, with my family and met up with my sister from OR... It was a break from my eating/starving cycle - a slap in the face reality - I could NOT continue and show my family how little I was eating (less than 500 calories per day). I was fortunate and knew how to maintain from previous experience, so I gradually upped my calories and settled with a bit of a gain and was okay with that. 2007 was the year of healing... I gradually gained back to about 140-145 and felt really good. 135 was way to thin for my body frame, (heck I started buying clothes in the girls dept.) I felt really good! When I was young I never moved a muscle, but in the past 10 years or so I really started to enjoy exercise, I was an avid walker and prior kimkins, I was running about 20-25 miles a week, and over the years have had various gym memberships etc. July 2007 my SO and I joined a gym and I started adding weights to my workouts again, late August I started working out with a Personal Trainer 2X a week as I still do today. I do some sort of workout 6 days a week, run, x-train, weight train, or t-tapp, not for my weight but because I LOVE it and I love the way it makes ME feel. I am going to be 43 in a couple weeks and I have the best body of my entire life!!! With the addition of weights I have managed to gain my way back to about 150-155 lbs... my original pre-kimkins maintenance weight, however I still can wear MOST of the clothes I was wearing at 140 lbs, (except my favorite jeans, cause my butt is now higher - LOL) I am fit, strong, and healthy! So my point, I just PrettyPaula struck a cord for me with her post about being drawn back to kimkins. Over the past year, I too have been fighting that draw in my head to get that number back on the scale lower (even though I was too thin). That power and control over eating was addictive, that high of stepping on the scale is so alluring. That feeling that starving had given me was like a drug - it was totally warped - I was on the verge of a major eating disorder. Also, this past year I kicked the laxative habit - with the help of Allicat and her coming clean and confessing that she too was addicted to laxatives. I have read, but stopped posting in the FWK thread - it is just to painful for me - I am not over this - but getting there. I have found what is working for me high fat-mod protein-vlc and plenty of calories - above 1700 daily and am settling there. I have experimented different levels over the past 7 or 8 months, but always get back to this and this is were I feel the best, I guess that should stay with what works huh - DUH... I feel good, my weight is stable and I am happy. It has taken me 1.5 years to get here and I'm still not totally accepting of the number on the scale, but I'm getting there. I have done a lot of repairs to my health, metabolism, and body over that past year and it's working. Maybe the number will go down, maybe not but today I don't struggle with my eating and that is a good thing. I STILL have to quiet that kimkins voice in my head - but it is getting better and easier... Someday maybe it will go away completely! I have changed my stats to reflect my acceptance of my current weight and my current goal... Off to have some scrambled eggs with butter for breakfast now that I've had my coffee w/ heavy cream! __________________ Laurie Happily Maintaining - 43 Fit and Fantastic! http://s111.photobucket.com/albums/n140/lbrobo77/ I XanGo Juice!

02-09-2008, 05:07 AM	#2
JuliaL Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: May 2003 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 16,918 Gallery: JuliaL Stats: 190/142/140 16/8/6, height 5'8", age 48 WOE: Atkins/BFFM Start Date: 4/22/03	Wow, Laurie you don't know how much I needed to read your post this morning. I've been really struggling with the voices in my head lately too. I never did Kimkins, but lately I've gained some weight due to menopause, possible thyroid issues (I'm working with an endo to figure that out) and just plain life stress. It's so hard to see the number on the scale and know that it's more than 10 pounds above what I want to see. It's so hard not to get down on myself about it. But your post reminded me that the number doesn't really mean anything as long as you're living a healthy lifestyle. I'm eating nothing but healthy, whole foods, and working out six days a week. I can still wear a size 8, and that is still 4 sizes smaller than I was at my highest weight. I'm still a non-smoker, and I feel and look better than I did when I was 30. Thank you for sharing, and congratulations on your success at keeping it all in perspective and putting yourself at the top of your priority list! __________________ *"Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on our own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon." -Denis Waitley*

02-11-2008, 05:20 AM	#5
Tooter Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,761 Gallery: Tooter Stats: 5' 6" and 128 lbs	Laurie, I loved your posted. I just recently up'd my goal weight. I had been very strict at keeping it at 124lbs. If the number went up a little, I went strict again. I truly believe that I had my goal weight too low all this time. I have up'd it to 128 to 132 lbs. There is a Phrase that I have said alot, and It really applies to me now. "Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD"! So, I "can" be 124lbs, but "should" I really be at that weight? At 18 that was a good weight, at 45? No. I think I have found my answer. My body kept TRYING to get me to this goal weight and I kept forcing it back down. Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD! There is more to who we are, then a number. Sometimes it takes Us awhile to truly learn that. Or, we have to learn it in "stages". It truly is a Journey, isn't it? Loved your post! __________________ "It shouldn't be a RACE to get thin. It should be a Journey to good health."

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

02-09-2008, 05:59 AM	#3
Bluqq Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: New Yawk Posts: 10,875 Gallery: Bluqq Stats: 112/106/100 Start Date: 11/24/05	outstanding post!

02-09-2008, 03:47 PM	#4
LaurieRobo Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 726 Gallery: LaurieRobo Stats: Pregnancy High 237 175/155/150-155 WOE: Fueling my workouts and running with plenty of FAT Start Date: March 2002	Julia - I hear ya! Your posts have helped me too! I was happy at this weight for so long and now I'm in even better shape - I just want to myself sometimes... I'm letting a NUMBER mess with my head! It's been a long road and I'm not there totally yet, but each day I'm trying to be more accepting and letting go! Thanks Buqq.... There are so many folks that have had issues here... Normal strong, intelligent folks and I can't even explain fully what this did to my head!

02-11-2008, 10:04 AM	#6
2big4mysize Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 4,696 Gallery: 2big4mysize Stats: 313 to current goalie 169-173 WOE: Atkins 2002 Start Date: june 1 2002	woo hoo Laurie, I love that you have been able to repair your body even if you are still working on your scalenumberphobia. One huge thing for me was discovering that even though the scales said 170, and the BMI said still overweight the dunk tank said less then 15% body fat. Ask your trainer to check your body fat % for you and see if you aren't at the low end of the healthy range for you. I know seeing that for me was the holy cow I'm a goalie moment for me.

02-11-2008, 11:54 AM	#7
LaurieRobo Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 726 Gallery: LaurieRobo Stats: Pregnancy High 237 175/155/150-155 WOE: Fueling my workouts and running with plenty of FAT Start Date: March 2002	Tooter-- I love it!!! "Just because I CAN, doesn't mean I SHOULD"! - So very TRUE!!!!! 2big - I know that for a woman my body fat is low - and I have increased my lean body mass... My last eval my lbm was up 1.2%. Due again the end of the month for a re-eval - plus increased VO2, pushups, situps and flexibility - all in the above excellent range - I have 125lbs of LBM so I know in my head I shouldn't be any lower in scale weight... LOL but there is that but... the scale is a blasted tease... I fluctuate easily between 149 and 153 a good range... I'm a gonna just step away from the scale again and keep doing what I'm doing, cause I know in my head it is right thing to do!

02-11-2008, 04:15 PM	#8
2big4mysize Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 4,696 Gallery: 2big4mysize Stats: 313 to current goalie 169-173 WOE: Atkins 2002 Start Date: june 1 2002	good for you. Even at your heaviest fluctuation you are only 18.3% body fat very very healthy. Many folk doing Atkins because of the added lean body mass noticed on the way back down from their start weight they are wearing smaller sizes at heavier scale weights, even clothes from their own closet so it isn't a sizing thing.

02-12-2008, 07:04 PM	#9
Cutie happy girlie girl! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 6,026 Gallery: Cutie Stats: lost 110lbs. 245-135; maintaining 135-140 :) WOE: IE w/mostly low GL foods	laurie! SO proud of you gf!

02-13-2008, 11:43 AM	#10
LaurieRobo Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 726 Gallery: LaurieRobo Stats: Pregnancy High 237 175/155/150-155 WOE: Fueling my workouts and running with plenty of FAT Start Date: March 2002	Amy!!! Thanks... ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!

02-25-2008, 02:26 PM	#11
lisa89 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: usa Posts: 881 Gallery: lisa89 Stats: 185/156/150 WOE: atkins -starting 3/3/08...WOOHOO Start Date: begins march 08'	what a wonderful story!..and thank goodness i didn't find out about kimkins when i knew nothing about dieting or i would've tryed it and got really sick....i hope that kimkins site is taken down soon...best wishes laurie

06-28-2008, 01:41 PM	#12
Dynamicdoll Junior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 18 Gallery: Dynamicdoll	I still believe that people who have encountered medical issues with Kimkin's means that they are eating away from what is right for their metabolic type. I was on all these low carb diets for years as well as the Quick Weight Loss Diets which I lost tons on. At 67 I am overweight but because of a late pregnancy in life and thyroid issues, but not because of the diet. I am one of the healthier 67s around. So it isn't necessarily Kimkin's. It could be that low carb was not for your body type. My sister would get sick on low carb. She needs mixed carb