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Old 08-21-2014, 05:25 AM   #271
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Things are going pretty well. I feel like I'm getting the hang of Juddd. I'm still sorting out what works best on DD's. Yesterday I was able to make it quite easily to the afternoon with out eating, I feel like it is so much more mental than physical, don't get me wrong I still have some rumblings in my tummy that tell me to eat but usually I can drink something and if I wait a little while it goes away. I really like the way I feel thinner on DD's too! So here I am 27 days in (12 DD's) and 5 lbs thinner thinking I have found the right path for me.
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Old 08-21-2014, 05:29 AM   #272
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I really like the way I feel thinner on DD's too! So here I am 27 days in (12 DD's) and 5 lbs thinner thinking I have found the right path for me.
Congratulations on the loss and also the +ve experience of DDs and the comfortable way that you've incorporated them into your life.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:07 AM   #273
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Cindy - that is definitely so much for some one to go through. I am really sorry for your brother, and all of your family. If G-d hears prayers from someone like me, than I hope your brother gets better and this can all just be remembered as "that very trying time, when we were made stronger."

Beadelia - that is all wonderful advice about nursing homes. I worked in one, and can still remember the faces of so many of those wonderful humans - though now I am sure they are all departed. There is some similiarity between your situation with your husband and my situation for my daughter. When we know its the right choice for our loved one, then all the other reasons fall away and making the hard choice becomes easy.

*****
Registered the two olders for school yesterday, and took my special needs DD to a counseling appointment. It was mostly just intake, but its a step in the right direction. I just told her that while she can always talk to me about anything, a counselor will know more about some of the things she is going through while living with anxiety and autism (she calls it 'the smart kind of autism') and other stuff.

She went along so great but there was this heart breaking moment when she said she wanted help with learning how to be not embarassing to her big sister.

With them both starting school, and having the same lunchtimes I told my older daughter (they are only 1 year apart) that I would really love it if she sat with her sister, or invited her over at lunch time. If SN DD went off about stuff (rants, they increase with sound/lights typically), instead of being embarassed by her and screaming at her - be the hall mark of kindness and patience with her...then she can explain later to her friends her sister has autism and can't always control things that bother her, while setting a good example of kindness to those with differences.

Is that too much to ask a 10 year old, you think?


She may eat her lunch in the SN room where its dim and quieter, but in case she wants the cafeteria experience - this was my suggestion.

As for diet, I am aiming for a DD today. Scale jumped to 314 today. I'm sure it had *nothing* to do with my binge last night. Chicken in a biscuit crackers and glazed donuts were not safe anywhere about me. It's getting to be that wonderful time of the month.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:28 AM   #274
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I finally faced the scale yesterday. It was horrible but freeing at the same time as it just confirmed what my clothes and mirror have been telling me if I bothered to listen. I have been eating with abandon pretty much since last fall and it was fun (I love cooking and food!) but the result was a 40 pound gain from my low of last year. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I am a turtle loser but a rabbit gainer apparently! Can't afford to do this again. I need to make a long term commitment to this WOL for my health and sanity. I was getting really uncomfortable and turned to LC in the spring-- that probably helped manage things at least a bit BUT I wasn't really losing so back to JUDDD as of 8/5 and I'm seeing a difference already. Hoping I can really get all the way to maintenance this time! DS is getting married in the spring so I have ample motivation.
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:51 AM   #275
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Hi TJ I'm glad you are seeing some difference. I can gain weight crazy fast also...To be truthful, I can't complain about how slow I lose it though.
March 16th I was 348 and today (ugh) I'm 314 so thats about 6 pounds a month coming off with me not even really being successful at anything - just trying and tweaking.
The mental high and feeling of accomplishment from a good DD are definitely a NSV.
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Old 08-21-2014, 11:40 AM   #276
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Beadelia: Thank you for your thorough post and sharing all the details so concisely... I will print it out and send it to my niece when I feel the timing is right. I know it will be of great help to her. I'm so glad you found the residence you did for your DH. Sounds like a perfect fit. Forgive me if I asked you this before: Did you ever read the little book "A Promise Kept?" It's about a Professor whose wife got the big A at a relatively young age. Against everyone's advice, he quit his job to care for her. It's a lovely book.

Carol: Thank you for helping that dear lady! Oh my. My niece's biggest fear is that my sister will get out. She bought a portable alarm that they put on their door at home and can also take with them when traveling. She has also heard of bed alarms that go off in the night if the person gets up. She is thinking about getting one.

Kati: I don't think that's too much to ask of a 10 year old. My BFF had an autistic son and his older sister mothered him and loved him so. She was very protective of him even though she was just a couple of years older. Honestly, she would beat kids up when they made fun of him.

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Originally Posted by slimstuff View Post
Things are going pretty well. I feel like I'm getting the hang of Juddd. I'm still sorting out what works best on DD's. Yesterday I was able to make it quite easily to the afternoon with out eating, I feel like it is so much more mental than physical, don't get me wrong I still have some rumblings in my tummy that tell me to eat but usually I can drink something and if I wait a little while it goes away. I really like the way I feel thinner on DD's too! So here I am 27 days in (12 DD's) and 5 lbs thinner thinking I have found the right path for me.
Congratulations!!! You are doing great! 5 pounds in a month is incredible. KUTGW!

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I finally faced the scale yesterday. It was horrible but freeing at the same time as it just confirmed what my clothes and mirror have been telling me if I bothered to listen. I have been eating with abandon pretty much since last fall and it was fun (I love cooking and food!) but the result was a 40 pound gain from my low of last year. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I am a turtle loser but a rabbit gainer apparently! Can't afford to do this again. I need to make a long term commitment to this WOL for my health and sanity. I was getting really uncomfortable and turned to LC in the spring-- that probably helped manage things at least a bit BUT I wasn't really losing so back to JUDDD as of 8/5 and I'm seeing a difference already. Hoping I can really get all the way to maintenance this time! DS is getting married in the spring so I have ample motivation.
Love that line! It's true for me too. Glad you are back on track. I did the same thing as you, maybe for different reasons. Not so much that I love food and cooking, but just that stress in 2013 was my excuse for abandoning any healthy eating and I gained quite a bit of my lost weight back.

So, after starting again in January of this year with JUDDD I feel like my body is really loving it and it's soooooooo much easier than it was the first time around. Everything is "working" for me. I don't have crazy cravings. Potato chips no longer have a hold over me. There was food, food, food everywhere when I spent 8 days with my family last week. But I didn't fall face first into it! I was happy with small portions.

My DH couldn't believe it when I only took one bite of a big moist brownie with caramel/peanut butter icing and pushed the rest away. He thought I didn't like it. I did, but figured that first and only bite was probably the best and I didn't really want any more of it. Seems like I was/am always mindful now of what the results will be if I just eat everything in sight and clean my plate over and over. Not worth it.

YOU WILL DO GREAT THIS TIME!!! So glad you are back at it.
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Old 08-21-2014, 01:36 PM   #277
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Partyof7 - that is an impressive accomplishment already!! I am cheering for you!

Yam-yam - love your positive attitude. I am glad you found that mind shift. I am still searching for mine. I hope to become less food centric as I go along. I think the mental stress of always restricting plus my natural inclination towards food and cooking have given over entirely too much brain space, time and energy to feeding myself. I get burned out in the long run. I am hopeful that I can find a balance without losing entirely one of the great joys of life. That is one reason this WOE is so attractive to me. Find a great recipe - save it for an UD!!

We can do this!!!
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Old 08-21-2014, 04:01 PM   #278
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Good thinking, TJ, and I'm so glad it's working better for you this time. I've been eating a lot less and wanting to eat a lot less. However, I haven't really been doing DDs per se this week. I'm maintaining, as usual, but will get back to losing in good time.

Thanks for all the concern and well wishes for my brother. He is having emergency surgery tonight, and I hope it goes well.
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:07 AM   #279
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coming brother's way, Cindy.
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:36 AM   #280
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Thanks for all the concern and well wishes for my brother. He is having emergency surgery tonight, and I hope it goes well.
Cindy, my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. I hope the outcome is the best one for all of those concerned.
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:56 AM   #281
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Sending good thoughts for your brother Librarygirl.
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Old 08-22-2014, 11:06 AM   #282
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I hope to become less food centric as I go along. I think the mental stress of always restricting plus my natural inclination towards food and cooking... I am hopeful that I can find a balance without losing entirely one of the great joys of life. That is one reason this WOE is so attractive to me. Find a great recipe - save it for an UD!!
We can only ever write from our own experience because we can't ever know how it is or will be for others.

So, at the risk of sounding, "Me! Me! Me!", I can only describe my own experience. I cook/bake. A lot. If I say it's a major hobby, 2nd only to kayaking, that probably doesn't indicate the scale of my activities. In a quiet week, I'll bake/cook for 50 people: in a livelier one, it's 200+.

But, I'm not food centric for myself, if that makes sense. I thoroughly enjoy cooking/baking - the culture around it moves me profoundly and probably meets some vast emotional and spiritual need. I don't know if you've ever seen the clips of
Clara in
Great Depression Cooking Youtube

I like watching her so much as she passes on her recipes to her granddaughters who follow her directions. They work out of vast bowls that were always intended to have the hands of several adults in them, working together, to mix fruit and nuts or to rub-in for a pastry. She passes on her oral testimony as to the history that she lived through (her immigrant family, the Great Depression) alongside family history to her grandson who does the filming.

Cooking together with people to create a meal, or to bake for others - that's my idea of a convivial and congenial evening/weekend. I weep when I watch French or Italian dramas and there are generations of family members, sitting around, preparing a meal together, just as a matter of course. Everyone has their own individual and shared tasks and they banter and swap stories as they work.

Food, making it and sharing it, is a huge joy in my life. Even tho' I haven't always been able to taste it properly since my last concussion (neither my sense of smell nor taste has fully recovered), that pales into insignificance for me, next to the experience of sharing the food.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying that in my experience, so far, it's possible not to be pre-occupied with one's own food and appetite yet still retain the enjoyment of everything else associated with food, and even to anticipate a meal with pleasure (not desperation).
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Old 08-22-2014, 11:25 AM   #283
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SlowSure - what a lovely and moving testament to the power of family and sharing food! I think you nailed it and I will definitely be checking out those videos - thanks! But for me it is also a creative outlet. I love trying new things and revel in sharing the joy that great food brings.

Part of my journey will be to focus more on food for others and not so much for me. That is a bit harder now with an empty nest and DH who doesn't particularly care about food (horrors!!). Seriously, though he has a healthy appetite he could eat the same few things every day and be perfectly content. I want variety and I want to try out new things.

In the past when LCing I would try out all kinds of LC recipes. With JUDDD I find myself looking for new, very low calorie recipes but they just aren't as interesting as there is not so much to work with. Lots of veggies, of course and I do follow with interest threads like the zoodles, etc... but sometimes a girl just has to bake!
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:13 PM   #284
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Beadelia: Thank you for your thorough post and sharing all the details so concisely... I will print it out and send it to my niece when I feel the timing is right. I know it will be of great help to her. I'm so glad you found the residence you did for your DH. Sounds like a perfect fit. Forgive me if I asked you this before: Did you ever read the little book "A Promise Kept?" It's about a Professor whose wife got the big A at a relatively young age. Against everyone's advice, he quit his job to care for her. It's a lovely book.
I haven't read that one, but I just ordered it. It sounds like a wonderful book, and I thank you for the recommendation.

Alzheimer's is especially tragic when it strikes someone relatively young, as the author's wife was, and sadly, that is less uncommon than one might expect. One of my husband's fellow residents looks to be in his mid-forties. He's so young and vital-looking that an incoming guest once courteously held the front door open for him and let him out of the building! I'm sure they simply thought he had been visiting someone there, because he doesn't look like anyone who could possibly have dementia.

There are some other excellent books you or your niece might like to read. Your sister's neurologist, if she sees one, may have recommended The Thirty-six Hour Day, by Peter Rabins. The most recent update is 2012, and
it is an excellent resource for people caring for loved ones who suffer from dementia and memory loss. There is also Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's, by Diana Friel McGowan. This brave woman began to show symptoms of Alzheimer's when only 45, and by chronicling her own struggles with the disease she gives us a look at Alzheimer's from the inside.

A third good book is the faith-based Embracing Dementia: A Call to Love, by Ellen Marie Edmonds. The author found herself caring for her husband who suffered from vascular dementia at the same time she was caring for a new grandchild, and she talks about their often parallel needs.

I hope your niece has people nearby to whom she can talk (and vent) and who can walk with her through this experience. Just knowing you are not going through this alone can be a huge help, and you really need people in your life who have gone down this road ahead of you. I was, and am, blessed in having a sister-in-law who was an OR nurse and was caring for DH's brother, who developed Alzheimer's before DH did. (He died about 3 years ago, but SIL has stayed close.) She has been able to talk me through crises, advise me about what would or could lie ahead and how to deal with it, and help me avoid some mistakes. (Or comfort me when I made mistakes, and I've made plenty.) We have been able to share tears, and to share laughter too. Sometimes you do have to laugh because even in its awfulness Alzheimer's produces some grimly funny moments, and you learn that it's better to laugh than to bang your head against a wall.

A close friend who was my RCIA sponsor when I entered the Catholic Church lost her mother to Alzheimer's, and she and others at church who have gone through this have been a huge help. If your niece doesn't have experienced, supportive people in her own personal circle of family and friends, then I hope she will seek out a support group. There are many. Your sister's doctor may have one to recommend, and the Alzheimer's Association website at alz.org can help her find one, as well as providing a great deal of other information. She might also want to subscribe to the Lotsa Helping Hands website.

One last word on the subject: if your sister does not have a valid will and if your niece or some other responsible person doesn't have both legal and medical power of attorney, that needs to be taken care of right away. Head in the sand, I left those matters until almost too late, but fortunately found an attorney through my church who shared my faith's views on end of life issues and who was acquainted with my husband. DH never liked to talk about such matters, but these were things we should have discussed and gotten down on paper before DH lost so much of his mental sharpness. I had to determine all the terms of the wills and the powers of attorney as I thought DH would have wanted them, and while he said he understood and he signed the papers, I still wonder if he entirely understood them. But at least his signing them kept me from having to go to court to get power of attorney, and having those documents keeps the state from being able to step in and take those issues out of my hands.

Well, I see I've written another book. Please keep me posted, and let me know how your niece manages when she has to go back to work. My prayers are with you all.
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:24 PM   #285
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Gosh, TJ, you reminded me of how much I used to bake, bake, bake. But I just don't do much baking anymore.

Even when my kids left the nest and married, I still baked a lot! Pies, breads, sweet breads, every kind of cookie known to man... I just couldn't stop. And, as the grand kids came along, they all loved (and still do) my home made pies and cookies and cinnamon rolls.

I think my big shift came when DH was diagnosed with type II diabetes. We agreed that we could not have all the sweet baked goods around all the time.

Now when I visit my grand kids, in their own natural habitat, they beg me to make pies or cookies and I do it with/for them. But I can come back home and leave the goodies there! Ha!

When you talked about so much of your brain space being taken up by self feeding, it triggered a thought about how obsessed with food I used to be. Eating, avoiding eating, planning to eat, planning to try to avoid eating; eliminating whole food groups and experimenting with all kinds of crash diets. Reading about diets. Low carb. No carb. Counting protein grams. Counting carbs. Avoiding fats. Eating healthy fats.

Spending tons of money on diet books, diet aides, exercise books, exercise classes and gadgets and toys and scales of all kinds.

Whew!!! When I think of it right now it's exhausting!

Now I just love, love, love not having to think about what foods have to be avoided. There are none. And, I have absolutely forbidden myself from over analyzing all kinds of diet plans and thinking maybe there is a better way to lose faster.

The change in me started with two thoughts. 1) This is not a race 2)Hunger is not an emergency.

I don't get off track because over thinking how/when/why I eat only leads to stress and to failure and falling off the wagon.

JUDDD is very simple. Someone here a while back said he wakes up every morning and asks himself (I think it was Mike) "What should I eat today?"

Only two answers: "Today is a DD. So, nothing or very little."

"Today is an UD. Anything I want."

Pretty cool. I just follow my desires, my social commitments, my hunger level. Along the way, I have settled into what works for me. I no longer count on DDs or UDs. Right now lots of fresh raw veggies and lots of steamed veggies with butter and a bit of protein, usually tuna, along with as much ice water and iced tea keeps me really happy on DDs.

No longer do I have junk food cravings on UDs or a desire to eat until I'm so full I feel I'll burst. I honestly think the SIRT1 gene has gradually caused me to actually crave healthy foods. Heck, my sister has a garden and she picked and washed a huge bowl of fresh lettuce and some tomatoes from her garden.

While we were all sitting around the table, I managed to eat the whole bowl of lettuce, all the fresh crisp celery and some green peppers that were on a veggie plate with ranch dressing and half of a big juicy tomato. All this while a huge bowl of potato chips with french onion dip was also right in front of me as well as sour dough bread, cheese slices, ham, plates of cookies....

Sometimes I don't recognize me.
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:34 PM   #286
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Thanks again, Bedealia. You are a wealth of information and I appreciate it. I will also print out your recent post and pass it along because all of those books sound invaluable. So do the support group recommendations and web site info.

Yes, I shall keep you posted about her decision to go back to work or try to put it off. I'll let you know how my sis is doing as I get more updates from my niece.
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:40 PM   #287
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Thanks Yam Yam - health is a great motivator! Glad you can still indulge in baking with your grandkids. Interesting side note on restriction - someone once told me that is it is common for alcoholics and drug addicts in remission to get into big money trouble because the gratification impulse has to go somewhere. Apparently this is a well known phenomena with dieters too. I can attest to spending (much) more on clothes, books, etc... to treat myself while dieting. Gotta watch that budget though LOL!
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Old 08-22-2014, 12:56 PM   #288
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TJ: Hmmmmm... interesting thought! Maybe my new gratification is traveling more!! And, even going out more and doing things in our "neck of the woods" that we never used to have time for.

We live in northern CA with easy access to so many wonderful places. San Francisco is only a 1.5 hour drive and we recently did a spur of the moment two day stay on the wharf. It was so lovely. Lake Tahoe is practically in our back yard and we have spent some lovely times there. Monterey Bay, Santa Cruz, Pismo Beach, Napa Valley (Wine Country)....

We just got back from the east coast and now we are getting geared up for Hawaii. Waikiki Beach and then Kona. We'll only have a couple of days after that to get packed for Coeur de' Lane where we will have a place over looking the beautiful lake!

Then we will turn around and go to Oceanside where we will be staying in a condo on the beach and spending time with DS and his darling family and my cute, cute, cute grandsons.

Then it won't be long 'til we are in Palm Springs, golfing with DH's relatives and having a little family reunion with them.

Locally we have free outdoor summer concerts once a week and have been going to them when we are in town. I'm out and about more than ever lately. So, maybe going, going, going is my new gratification!

DH loves it as I used to be such a home body. He always says we worked hard, scrimped and saved for retirement and now, while we are healthy and young enough to enjoy, we should spend some of our kids inheritance. LOL!
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Old 08-22-2014, 04:45 PM   #289
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That sounds wonderful, Yam!! I am a homebody, somewhat by choice, but would love to do more and travel more. I hope I am able when I retire.

Slow, I loved your descriptions of cooking/baking. It is interesting to think about other cultures and even our own years ago, when families cooked together more. I enjoy cooking sometimes, but other times it seems like a chore lol.

My brother's surgery did turn out good, they think. Thanks again for the warm wishes and prayers.
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:13 PM   #290
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We can only ever write from our own experience because we can't ever know how it is or will be for others.

So, at the risk of sounding, "Me! Me! Me!", I can only describe my own experience. I cook/bake. A lot. If I say it's a major hobby, 2nd only to kayaking, that probably doesn't indicate the scale of my activities. In a quiet week, I'll bake/cook for 50 people: in a livelier one, it's 200+.

But, I'm not food centric for myself, if that makes sense. I thoroughly enjoy cooking/baking - the culture around it moves me profoundly and probably meets some vast emotional and spiritual need. I don't know if you've ever seen the clips of
Clara in
Great Depression Cooking Youtube

I like watching her so much as she passes on her recipes to her granddaughters who follow her directions. They work out of vast bowls that were always intended to have the hands of several adults in them, working together, to mix fruit and nuts or to rub-in for a pastry. She passes on her oral testimony as to the history that she lived through (her immigrant family, the Great Depression) alongside family history to her grandson who does the filming.

Cooking together with people to create a meal, or to bake for others - that's my idea of a convivial and congenial evening/weekend. I weep when I watch French or Italian dramas and there are generations of family members, sitting around, preparing a meal together, just as a matter of course. Everyone has their own individual and shared tasks and they banter and swap stories as they work.

Food, making it and sharing it, is a huge joy in my life. Even tho' I haven't always been able to taste it properly since my last concussion (neither my sense of smell nor taste has fully recovered), that pales into insignificance for me, next to the experience of sharing the food.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying that in my experience, so far, it's possible not to be pre-occupied with one's own food and appetite yet still retain the enjoyment of everything else associated with food, and even to anticipate a meal with pleasure (not desperation).
I love your Me! me! stories. I love all of yours actually...and, no it's not cause I'm a shut in.
I love that lady and her show! I LOVE to cook and bake, and feed people. I love hosting dinner. I can't wait to start having people over again.

With no one here but kids and DH and I...I turn into food central lol
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Old 08-22-2014, 10:47 PM   #291
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Thanks Yam Yam - health is a great motivator! Glad you can still indulge in baking with your grandkids. Interesting side note on restriction - someone once told me that is it is common for alcoholics and drug addicts in remission to get into big money trouble because the gratification impulse has to go somewhere. Apparently this is a well known phenomena with dieters too. I can attest to spending (much) more on clothes, books, etc... to treat myself while dieting. Gotta watch that budget though LOL!

So THAT's why I've been making the folks at the big river and the ones down by the bay so happy lately! It's a different kind of binge! Mostly I've been buying CDs of music that I loved back in the 50s through the 80s that has been remastered and reissued, often with two albums on one disc. The Seekers, Judy Collins, Kenneth McKellar, The Irish Rovers, the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem, Robin Hall and Jimmie MacGregor, Jean Redpath (love Scots and Irish music), the Everly Brothers, Patsy Cline, Jim Reeves, The Complete Flanders & Swann, Johnny Cash, Olivia Newton John, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Andres Segovia, Simon and Garfunkel, Chet Atkins, the incomparable Don Williams, etc. etc. etc. and many so forths. And of course ALL of Emmylou Harris--I think I have 34 of her albums. And my "to buy" list is a mile long. (I haven't even started on the Broadway and movie musicals -- but I will!) Even if I had my old vinyl recordings, they were pretty well worn out, and I no longer have a turntable.

I'm spending a small fortune, but you know what? I don't feel even a tiny bit guilty. Well, maybe a tiny bit, but not enough to stop me. I've loved this music all my adult life (and some of it in my teens) but didn't play it much for years because DH didn't like much except classical and things like Bing Crosby and big band music. (I like those too.) I'm grateful that this wonderful music can be part of my life again, much of it sounding even better than it did originally, and at least it isn't fattening!

DH doesn't know it, but he's getting me a Bose music system for my birthday in October.

Yam-Yam, you aren't going to be home long enough to unpack between trips! I'm so glad you and your DH are traveling and enjoying your adventures together. As you recently learned, life can take sudden very serious turns, and you want to make the most of every moment. DH and I had wonderful plans and dreams, but he worked until he was 73. He had a fascinating job and he loved it, but by the time I retired a year after he did, just before I turned 60, he was already beginning to show signs of dementia, and did not like to go places he hadn't already been. Fortunately for us, we lived in the Portland, OR area most of our married life, so in many ways we didn't really have to travel because we were already there. Mt. Hood and the Cascade Range were in sight and an easy drive to the east, the gorgeous Willamette Valley was our back yard, the magnificent Oregon Coast day-tripping distance to the west, the incredible Columbia Gorge an easy afternoon's drive, Silver Falls State Park ditto, and even the beautiful deserts of Central Oregon and the wonderful mountain town of Sisters were close enough for a long day trip, though we usually liked to stay over, especially after my dad and stepmother moved over to Redmond, and earlier when they had a share in a house at Black Butte Ranch. We often neglected the yard work and rambled around on weekends, or even took staycations and played tourist in Portland and environs, and we truly had a wonderful time. I'm glad that you, too, live in a beautiful area, where you never have to go far to find wonders to explore, and that you have the resources to enjoy them. You remind me of a character in a book I read recently, who told her newly-retired sister that she and her husband should spend her money now so their children wouldn't have to.

Librarygirl, thank you for the happy news about your brother. Prayers continue, and please keep us posted.

BirdieNell, please don't forget to keep us posted about your nephew. I know you'll have your hands full with the start of school, but remember that we care.

And to all a goodnight.
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Old 08-23-2014, 09:50 AM   #292
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Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
TJ:

DH loves it as I used to be such a home body. He always says we worked hard, scrimped and saved for retirement and now, while we are healthy and young enough to enjoy, we should spend some of our kids inheritance. LOL!
You must be a cyber sister after my own heart with a husband like mine. My husband has not retired but he has his own business so at least we are free to work and go as we please. He is in construction so it is mostly summer work and we are free to take off for the winters. Good thing cause now my DS and DIL and granddaughters live in Melbourne, Australia. I have just completed our winter plans which involve 2 weeks in Ajijic, Mexico with our friends then off to Melbourne till March. Can't wait.......I miss those darling little faces sooo much and they grow up so quickly. And to leave the snowy days of Alberta behind is glorious!!
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Old 08-23-2014, 12:21 PM   #293
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You must be a cyber sister after my own heart with a husband like mine. My husband has not retired but he has his own business so at least we are free to work and go as we please. He is in construction so it is mostly summer work and we are free to take off for the winters. Good thing cause now my DS and DIL and granddaughters live in Melbourne, Australia. I have just completed our winter plans which involve 2 weeks in Ajijic, Mexico with our friends then off to Melbourne till March. Can't wait.......I miss those darling little faces sooo much and they grow up so quickly. And to leave the snowy days of Alberta behind is glorious!!
Wow--the whole thing sounds wonderful and exciting! When do you leave for Mexico?

DH and I spent 3 years in Edmonton when he worked at the university there, so I hear you loud and clear about the snowy winter days. We were sooooo glad to get back to Portland, OR, where maybe it rains all the time but at least you don't have to shovel it!
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Old 08-23-2014, 02:01 PM   #294
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Beadelia: Oh, yes, you live in a beautiful area with so much to see and do. I love the idea of stay-cations and doing things near by. We live in gold country. There are so many little old western towns that are preserved and charming. Fun stuff. I'm just so sorry you and your DH didn't get the chance to really grow old together.

I was having that discussion with my lovely aunt and also my SIL.

My aunt is a very, very young 84 years old. She looks and acts like she is 50. Very energetic, loves to dance and laugh and go, go, go. She is so up beat and positive, I never ever thought of her being sad.

We were talking about travel and I commented that ever since I was in high school I thought it would be soooooooo romantic to fall in love, get married and grow old with the love of my life and now we are doing it. (DH and I often talk about how romantic it is to grow old together. We talked a lot about it when we were young).

My aunt got a little teary eyed and said, yes, she felt the same way. But her DH, my handsome uncle on my mother's side, died suddenly when she was only 61. He was 64 I think. She said every night she goes to bed alone and thinks of him.

My SIL is the wife of my DB who died not too long ago. He was hospitalized for pneumonia, got a blood disease called sepsis while in the hospital and it took him away from us all.

SIL talked about how she cherished the memories of 3 trips to Ireland they took together. Very romantic. My DB loved Ireland and all things Irish.

Sorry I got a little soulful there. Just wish you still had your DH to enjoy as he was. Heaven looks better and better to me as I age.

Donna: How exciting! Yes, cyber sisters! DH is constantly plotting and planning our next cruise to some exotic place. I told him we need to hold off until next year or so because we are booked solid!!! We keep the airlines in business! LOL!
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Old 08-23-2014, 02:04 PM   #295
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Cindy: So glad your DBs surgery went well. That is great news and you must be so relieved.
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Old 08-23-2014, 02:30 PM   #296
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Anybody know where Patkid is? Maybe I missed something, but I have not seen her post lately.
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Old 08-23-2014, 07:06 PM   #297
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Beadelia: Oh, yes, you live in a beautiful area with so much to see and do. I love the idea of stay-cations and doing things near by. We live in gold country. There are so many little old western towns that are preserved and charming. Fun stuff. I'm just so sorry you and your DH didn't get the chance to really grow old together.

I was having that discussion with my lovely aunt and also my SIL.

My aunt is a very, very young 84 years old. She looks and acts like she is 50. Very energetic, loves to dance and laugh and go, go, go. She is so up beat and positive, I never ever thought of her being sad.

We were talking about travel and I commented that ever since I was in high school I thought it would be soooooooo romantic to fall in love, get married and grow old with the love of my life and now we are doing it. (DH and I often talk about how romantic it is to grow old together. We talked a lot about it when we were young).

My aunt got a little teary eyed and said, yes, she felt the same way. But her DH, my handsome uncle on my mother's side, died suddenly when she was only 61. He was 64 I think. She said every night she goes to bed alone and thinks of him.

My SIL is the wife of my DB who died not too long ago. He was hospitalized for pneumonia, got a blood disease called sepsis while in the hospital and it took him away from us all.

SIL talked about how she cherished the memories of 3 trips to Ireland they took together. Very romantic. My DB loved Ireland and all things Irish.

Sorry I got a little soulful there. Just wish you still had your DH to enjoy as he was. Heaven looks better and better to me as I age.

Donna: How exciting! Yes, cyber sisters! DH is constantly plotting and planning our next cruise to some exotic place. I told him we need to hold off until next year or so because we are booked solid!!! We keep the airlines in business! LOL!
I'm afraid that's "lived," past tense. DH and I moved to the Dallas, TX area in 2006 to be near my sister and our niece. We stayed in Oregon until my dad passed away, but then, although we never wanted to leave there, we agreed it was time to get the family together in the same state and sort of circle the wagons against oncoming old age and all that goes with it. It is good that we did, because 2 months after we arrived here my sister's husband was diagnosed with cancer, and 3 months later he was gone. Since then, each of us has had medical problems when we needed one another. Dallas may not be gorgeous (though you'll never find friendlier, nicer people anywhere), but there's a lot to be said for being near family. (The cost of living is also lower, which is also nice!)

I kinda teared up about your aunt. She sounds like a brave lady. And I'm glad your DB and SIL took those trips to Ireland. Some of my family have criticized my sister for the money she has spent (and spends) on travel, but that's what she likes to do, and she says that if she and her husband had saved all their money for when they retired, he wouldn't have had the trip to India and the photo safaris to Africa he so much enjoyed. He was six years younger than she, and was only 56 when he died. You just don't know. My mother died at 60, without ever taking the Yellowstone trip she so much wanted. They were going to go when Dad retired. The lesson is, if you can possibly do it and you really want to, don't wait. Kudos to all of you who aren't waiting!

And yes, heaven does start looking better as we age and more of our loved ones precede us there. But not yet -- not yet. I did enjoy reading Heaven Is For Real, though.

And no, we haven't heard from Patkid for quite a while. She seems to have disappeared without warning and without a trace. One of our members said she'd sent her a PM but got no response. It makes me a little nervous.
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Old 08-24-2014, 07:46 AM   #298
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It's been a busy week for me and I'm finally getting time to catch up on all the news here. This may sound crazy, but I missed getting to check in several times a day to see what's going on with all of you and participate in some of the discussions. You all have become family to me this summer. Just wanted to give everyone a big hug this morning and let you know that you mean a lot to me!

My nephew had surgery Thursday to replace the part of his skull that was missing. He has days of being more alert and other days of sleeping most of the day. The therapists are working with him every day and I think he is making progress. It's just slow going and baby steps.

On growing old together....I was married to my childhood sweetheart for 31 years and always thought we would grow old together. We were both 54 when he died. I am figuring out how to make a new life for myself but I often feel that part of me is missing.

I went to a benefit dinner last night. A friend of mine lost her son a few years ago and she has been having a dinner on his birthday every year to raise money for the children's advocacy center in our county. It was touching to see all the friends who loved this young man show up with their little ones to honor and remember him and raise money for a good cause. The food was good, they even had birthday cake, and then a friend of my son, played guitar and sang for a while. It was a nice evening but sad. I think losing a child is the worst loss of all.

I will check back in later. For now, I need to start my laundry and catch up on some of the things that I let slide while I was at school this past week. I'm slow getting back in the groove of getting up early and being gone all day.
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:05 AM   #299
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We had an earthquake last night - 6.0 in the bay area. My aunt lives up there, and I'm just waiting until a "decent" hour to call and check on her. No reports of injuries yet, so I think she's fine.

The big quake in 1989 - my mom was at a conference in San Francisco and had just crossed the bay bridge 2 hours before the quake. I was living in Denmark at the time, but my host-sister was living in Berkeley, so she called immediately and I spoke with her before the phones went out. I didn't know until a few days later that my mom was there.

I'm sending good thoughts to everyone up in that area.
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:50 AM   #300
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Earthquakes are so scary! I heard it on the news Sending and
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