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Flutter 01-29-2014 01:54 PM

Dresses (with pic) bluck
 
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I am never ever going to like me in a dress, I don't think. Ever. I hate my arms. I hate my legs. I hate my waist (which I will always think is huge). Maybe I need to change my opinion on the scale hating thing and just go with, "the scale says I'm smaller, so I must be." LOL! Who'd have thunk it?

This is a size small dress. I still think I look huge in it, at least when looking at this picture. I actually didn't think it was THAT bad when I tried it on.

ACK!

I need exercise, STAT! (and another 10# to lose, too!) :stars:

LoCarbGal 01-29-2014 02:06 PM

You are A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!! Absolutely beautiful! And tiny! You don't see it???

You're going to roll your eyes at me, but I think you need a shorter hemline. Nothing crazy, but just at or right at the top of the knee. I think it could make you look taller (I can say this, 'cause I'm a shortie too).

You really do look wonderful, Melinda. Please believe it! :love:

Ailuros 01-29-2014 02:09 PM

Not huge at all. Not even a little bit. But I totally understand. I took some photos of myself wearing a new pair of jeans and immediately deleted them all, because they made me look much plumper than what I saw when I looked in the mirror. It’s hard to see ourselves clearly.

Flutter 01-29-2014 02:16 PM

YES! Exactly ailuros!!! I have issues. I clearly cannot trust my eyes right now. The scale says I'm circa 125 so things cannot be THAT bad. I think everyone else this weight is tiny, but I just do not see that. I see yuck...and more weight to lose!

I put on some jeans that were tight earlier this fall (so at my same weight) and they fit great now, so clearly things are still changing in maintenance, but my eyes see me even bigger now than they did last fall. I'm not sure what my problem is, TBH.

LCG, a shorter hemline? LOLOL!!!!! I would need a paper bag to breathe in. (or leggings! Can I have those?)

I posted just so I could have you guys keep things REAL with me, 'cause I can't trust myself right now. Plus, I've literally ordered 25 dresses and cannot find ONE I really like on me...this one was the one I tolerated the most. Maybe in plain black...or I'll just live in jeans forever. LOL

ks4 01-29-2014 02:31 PM

I may not post often but I read a lot of the newer posts, I just wanted to say that you and the dress look great (and very small)!

I think the perspective is a bit off for you to see your best in this dress (this happens to me too). What I mean is that if you put on some high heels, strike a pose, get better lighting, and take the picture from a different angle, you will see something completely different and more like what other people see when they look at you! This is how models always look good when in fact its simply an illusion.

This is an esteem booster that even taking the "right" pictures at any weight will make you feel beautiful. Even the most beautiful people from a bad angle will not look their best and I'm not saying that this picture is bad and you actually look great to me! It's just that you can make it even better for your own self esteem and be proud of yourself instead. So take a picture where you personally see the best in yourself and focus on that instead is my advice and what I would do (like the picture in your avatar, you obviously chose it because you look great!). After all, it's not about being perfect, it's all a matter of perspective.

Babsbabs 01-29-2014 02:41 PM

I agree with Ks4 Melinda. You look great, it is just the straight on angle. They never have the front straight angle in the magazines. Congratulations on your success!

wanttolose70 01-29-2014 02:49 PM

Flutter! You look fantabulous! I am super jealous!

KeirasMom 01-29-2014 03:05 PM

Melinda, my soul sister! What's going on with us? This is exactly what I'm dealing with too. I think you look awesome and tiny and beautiful, and yet I know EXACTLY what you're feeling. We need an attitude adjustment! :hugs:

oceania 01-29-2014 03:36 PM

I think many if not most of us have the same issue where we still see ourselves as big despite the contrary. Flutter you look great, quite petite, anything but big! I think weight training and yoga really helps not only with toning and body definition but self confidence. Most women tend to shy away from weight training because they think they'll get big and bulky but that's not possible unless you take steroids.

I dabble in photography -I agree Babsbabs about the straight on angle as well. Posture and pose has significance how one looks in pictures, standing so you're slight light off to the side like the picture below is more flattering and elegant

I also agree with ~LCG aka Carol - shorter hemline will make you look taller.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...-rkelJQ4dTru_g

Babsbabs 01-29-2014 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oceania (Post 16778696)
I think many if not most of us have the same issue where we still see ourselves as big despite the contrary. Flutter you look great, quite petite, anything but big! I think weight training and yoga really helps not only with toning and body definition but self confidence. Most women tend to shy away from weight training because they think they'll get big and bulky but that's not possible unless you take steroids.

I dabble in photography -I agree Babsbabs about the straight on angle as well. Posture and pose has significance how one looks in pictures, standing so you're slight light off to the side like the picture below is more flattering and elegant

I also agree with ~LCG aka Carol - shorter hemline will make you look taller.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...-rkelJQ4dTru_g

Great pictures! I am going to stand slightly sideways with hands on hips at all family gatherings where pics are being taken from now on!

Librarygirl 01-29-2014 06:40 PM

You look beautiful and feminine in that dress, Flutter.:hugs: All you need is a pair of navy platform pumps, and to stand like in Oceania's helpful pic, when taking a pic. I will definitely try that stance too next time I have a pic taken! Hard to do when taking selfies though.:D

You are the perfect size and do not need to lose any more weight.:love:

Carly 01-29-2014 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeirasMom (Post 16778661)
Melinda, my soul sister! What's going on with us? This is exactly what I'm dealing with too. I think you look awesome and tiny and beautiful, and yet I know EXACTLY what you're feeling. We need an attitude adjustment! :hugs:

I must be your long lost triplet!

Librarygirl 01-29-2014 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Librarygirl (Post 16778895)
You look beautiful and feminine in that dress, Flutter.:hugs: All you need is a pair of navy platform pumps, and to stand like in Oceania's helpful pic, when taking a pic. I will definitely try that stance too next time I have a pic taken! Hard to do when taking selfies though.:D

You are the perfect size and do not need to lose any more weight.:love:

I thought it was navy stripes, but now I can't tell, so obviously black pumps if the stripe is black. ;)

oceania 01-29-2014 08:14 PM

Sorry if I gave the impression the pic I posted above was mine, it's not, I just took it off the net as an example.

JMBM 01-29-2014 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal (Post 16778590)
You are A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!! Absolutely beautiful! And tiny! You don't see it???

You're going to roll your eyes at me, but I think you need a shorter hemline. Nothing crazy, but just at or right at the top of the knee. I think it could make you look taller (I can say this, 'cause I'm a shortie too).

You really do look wonderful, Melinda. Please believe it! :love:

:goodpost: I agree. Cute cute.

Yennie 01-29-2014 09:47 PM

Absolutely adorable. Own it girlfriend!
I also have image issues. Still losing here but man, some days I feel like I look the same.
I actually had a moment in the bathroom at work where I was freaking out because the pants I was wearing were too big, and last year they were way too tight (even though I wore them anyway). I was like - the pants don't lie but I don't FEEL any different!
Not trying to hijack, just letting you know you're not alone.
But, you are beautiful and that dress is stunning on you.

BroadwayBaby 01-29-2014 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutter (Post 16778563)
I am never ever going to like me in a dress, I don't think. Ever. I hate my arms. I hate my legs. I hate my waist (which I will always think is huge).

It amazes me how we see ourselves and judge how we look...I think you look totes adorbs. Please get a new mirror! ;) And be kinder to yourself! You look fab! :love:

SlowSure 01-30-2014 02:20 AM

Melinda, you're not seeing yourself properly :)

Is that a wrap-round dress? I like those a lot. I'm sure the others are with me in not seeing the problem with your arms - however, I'm waiting for Carly to pop in and tell you that's what shrugs are for. :)

I agree with others' remarks about the camera angle and the illustrative pictures that Oceania posted are very helpful in highlighting the difference this makes.

The strong pattern in your dress is highlighting your posture in that pose - so some of those would disappear with a different stance. (Looking at the photo, you have your right shoulder lowered and slightly back which is a tad impairing the otherwise good framing of your cleavage :) ).

It's none of my business, and this might not apply to you, but when people have had chronic reflux or similar, and they've had to sleep sitting-up, this can sometimes put their shoulders and hip joints a little out of plane as mattresses are better designed for sleeping/lying on than sitting. (You normally have to raise one hip to compensate for mattresses being softer in spots and because it's not a good position for knees. Then you need to adjust your shoulders to compensate for the hip/knees - and you have a cascade of skeleto-muscular niggles.)

Like a number of us (*raises hand*), I think you'd be taken aback by the difference to your figure that you would see with some postural work such as T-Tapp, Egoscue or similar methods.

gotsomeold 01-30-2014 03:02 AM

I have seen it called 'fat eyes' and it is a condition that attacks lots of us: when we look at ourselves we see what used to be, not what is. Heck, I wanted to be a 6 - 8, sometimes find 2s are my best fit, and still catch glimpses in a mirror and think "Oh NO!"

I agree with Carol - I would raise that hem a couple of inches (and, yes, wear leggings if they make you feel better), and - if someone tries to take a straight-on photo, twist slightly aside at the last minute.

You look tiny and adorable!!

Carly 01-30-2014 04:37 AM

I have about 15 (maybe more :o) shrugs as SS pointed out. I hate me arms, although yours look fine in that picture. I have a shrug in almost every color, style and weight of fabric. They are my best friend for all my sleeveless dresses.

Hopefulsweigh 01-30-2014 04:47 AM

Gorgeous!

SlowSure 01-30-2014 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutter (Post 16778563)
I need exercise, STAT! (and another 10# to lose, too!) :stars:

I didn't notice this remark about the 10# previously. I wonder if it might be better to try other things first, Melinda?

I am a little concerned that unless you know what your LBM is, you might start losing that and setting yourself up for problems with regain - and you might gain body fat rather than muscle to replace it which ends in a too familiar vicious circle.

I know that I mentioned it above but perhaps you might defer decisions about additional weight loss until after you've had an opportunity to experiment with some postural work and exercise to see if that gives you the toning and body recomposition that you want.

I've told this story before but I genuinely still can't grasp the enormous difference that postural imbalances make. A while ago, I flew out to California for some physical rehab and I was wearing Winter weight trousers because it was cold on departure. I wore them for the return journey 5 days later, and I could scarcely keep those trousers up with a belt - both my hips were in the same plane and the lower abdominal slouch caused by that hip imbalance was no longer there to fill out the trousers. :eek:

Flutter 01-30-2014 07:06 AM

I am on my iPad so can't multi quote. Thanks for the thoughts everyone. the pic was an impromptu one I had DS take when my dress arrived in the mail. I know the side/arm pose trick, but no way my arms are going up in that position with a short sleeve dress. ;) flab city, bluck!

I need to go back to my strength training, but have been nervous doing so because I have issues with a shoulder (from weight training the last go round!), and can't do much cardio because of a bum knee. I need to start something though. Clearly I am going to complain until I do!

Slow, I don't have any idea of the things you bring up. I will look them up and see what I think. I do have posture issues, but some of that may come from congenital hip issues of mine. I get nervous when things concern my hips and don't like anyone messing with them.

I do have a physical in March. I am sure the doc will tell me to knock off the weight loss (he liked my weight at 138). <shrug> like I said, I know I have some unrealistic mental stuff going on right now, so I appreciate the honest feedback. I truly may just have to stick with my beloved jeans....and dress pants if needed. ;)

KeirasMom 01-30-2014 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carly (Post 16778945)
I must be your long lost triplet!

We should start a club. If we were closer, we could all do pilates or yoga together and be "those" women who everyone thinks are stuck up, skinny minnies who never have to work at it. :hyst:

Ailuros 01-30-2014 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeirasMom (Post 16779378)
We should start a club. If we were closer, we could all do pilates or yoga together and be "those" women who everyone thinks are stuck up, skinny minnies who never have to work at it. :hyst:

A few years ago, when I was at my lowest weight, another customer in a clothes shop complimented me on whatever I was trying on, and added a comment about being tiny, along with “and I bet you can eat anything you like.” Aargh. No.

Flutter 01-30-2014 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeirasMom (Post 16779378)
We should start a club. If we were closer, we could all do pilates or yoga together and be "those" women who everyone thinks are stuck up, skinny minnies who never have to work at it. :hyst:

That would be tons of fun!!! :love:

At least we have our little "club" of love here! :heart: It's nice to have somewhere to voice our crazy thoughts with peeps that understand. :laugh:

Flutter 01-30-2014 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ailuros (Post 16779389)
A few years ago, when I was at my lowest weight, another customer in a clothes shop complimented me on whatever I was trying on, and added a comment about being tiny, along with “and I bet you can eat anything you like.” Aargh. No.

Well, every other day you can! :hyst::heart:

rosejim 01-30-2014 08:18 AM

I think you look great Melinda!

Flutter 01-30-2014 08:20 AM

Thanks, rose! I feel fine in my normal jeans/sweater attire. I was just trying to push the envelope with the dress thing. I have some weddings coming up this summer and haven't worn a dress in, literally, over a decade now. Maybe I'll try again in the summer. :)

Ailuros 01-30-2014 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutter (Post 16779435)
Well, every other day you can! :hyst::heart:

At that time I was just doing LC, but somehow the tone of the comment manages to suggest that you’re eating cream cakes and chocolates all day long. Still, I suppose if someone said, “Good grief, you must have to obsess over every mouthful,” it would be worse! That’s not a look I’d want.


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