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Old 01-30-2014, 07:38 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ailuros View Post
At that time I was just doing LC, but somehow the tone of the comment manages to suggest that you’re eating cream cakes and chocolates all day long. Still, I suppose if someone said, “Good grief, you must have to obsess over every mouthful,” it would be worse! That’s not a look I’d want.
hehe, I know what you mean, ailuros! I was just being goofy. I love Juddd. At least there is the OPTION of being able to eat whatever you want every other day. In fact, I surely lost a lot of my initial weight eating a lot of chocolate...and cocktails. Ahem. still do from time to time...

Maybe that is the original problem with the dress/arm/leg/waist loathing!! In which case, I am just going to have to get used to the pudge.
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Old 01-30-2014, 07:39 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by Ailuros View Post
At that time I was just doing LC, but somehow the tone of the comment manages to suggest that you’re eating cream cakes and chocolates all day long. Still, I suppose if someone said, “Good grief, you must have to obsess over every mouthful,” it would be worse! That’s not a look I’d want.
I remember when I was quite small in my 20s or early 30s in a changing room, and a woman commented that it must be nice to fit into any clothes you wanted to wear. I said that actually I worked pretty hard to be the size that I was. Lol, I guess that was an arrogant reply as I had never had my metabolism working against me like it is now.
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Old 01-30-2014, 07:46 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
I remember when I was quite small in my 20s or early 30s in a changing room, and a woman commented that it must be nice to fit into any clothes you wanted to wear. I said that actually I worked pretty hard to be the size that I was. Lol, I guess that was an arrogant reply as I had never had my metabolism working against me like it is now.
Ahhh youth. I used to think I was huge in my early 20s when I first started to gain weight. (at about my current weight, in fact!) I really liked being 116.

I had a woman comment a few months ago when I was in the checkout line at Old Navy. Apparently the size tag on the back of my sweater was flipped out of my collar and she apologized, then put it back under my collar. Then she said to her girlfriend, "if my size tag was a medium, I probably wouldn't be embarrassed about having someone fix it for me, either."
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Old 01-30-2014, 08:22 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
I remember when I was quite small in my 20s or early 30s in a changing room, and a woman commented that it must be nice to fit into any clothes you wanted to wear. I said that actually I worked pretty hard to be the size that I was. Lol, I guess that was an arrogant reply as I had never had my metabolism working against me like it is now.
Most people talk about being slim during their youth which sometimes makes me a bit ....I don't know ...wistful? because I've been overweight pretty much all my teenage and adult years up until 6 years ago which sucks because I feel I did miss out on a lot of things and it really affected my self-esteem and confidence...but c'est la vie, it is what it is.

Sorry to have derailed the conversation - that's what instantly came to my mind when I read your post.
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Old 01-30-2014, 09:00 AM   #35
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I think you look adorable! And small.

You should totally blame any dissatisfaction with the picture on your pose and the dress. Wide stripes are hard for anyone to pull off, and I agree that us shorties need a hem that hits right at the knee, or goes all the way to the floor. Anything else tends to make us look stumpy.

On the other hand, I think the V-neck is super flattering on you, and the wrap cut works, too (lucky!). I think also your arms look fine, but if you don't like them, pick out tops with a 3/4 length sleeve.

If I was your personal shopper, I'd get you a knee-length (it can cover the knee, but no more!), 3/4- or long-sleeved, V-neck, wrap dress in a solid color. And I'd put you in a knee-high boot. They look great, and also provide coverage so you don't feel like you're in a short skirt.

(I might be a little opinionated )
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Old 01-30-2014, 09:15 AM   #36
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Melinda, girl, you are BEAUTIFUL! I would kill to be tiny like you! One thing, I never look a camera dead on. I always angle my body. Looking straight on just widens the body. That being said, YOU LOOK AMAZING! GIve yourself some POSITIVIE vibes. I have read that simply looking in the mirror and saying out loud (for me):

Monica, your hair looks great.
Monica, you have gotten smaller.
Monica, your eyes sparkle.

For example, eventually the brain will register it and accept it. You deserve that. You look amazing and I know I aspire to be / look more like you! YOU are amazing, don't let YOURSELF tell you anything different.
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Old 01-30-2014, 10:34 AM   #37
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Leeloo kind of hits on it but a lot of us that have been overweight for a long time kind of forget how to choose clothes that flatter our bodies. We spend so much time trying to hide in our clothes and it programs our brains to look at clothes that way. When you lose weight, you have to reprogram yourself into dressing for the new thin you and not still as a fat person.

I suspect you don't like dresses primarily because you are still choosing the kind of dresses you would have when you were heavier instead of what flatters the way you are now (like the aforementioned shorter hemline). Personally, I was born without a fashion gene so when I lost a lot of weight before, I had to rely on outside help at first to choose clothes that fit my new body. It was weird buying fitted shirts and regular cut (not relaxed) jeans but they looked soooo much better. I don't know if you have someone you could rely on as an outside party to help pick what fits (we can't always trust our own eyes) but it might help.
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Old 01-30-2014, 04:01 PM   #38
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you look cute and perfectly porportioned! I don't know how to spell that word.'

Very very cute!
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Old 01-30-2014, 07:31 PM   #39
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Aww Melinda you look fantabulous. I love red on you. I agree with Carol that a shorter hem line would be great and I hope you accented that dress with navy pumps like Cindy suggested. Don't forget to stick one hand on the hip and push out the boobs. You got all those goodies so now you just need to show em off.
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Old 01-31-2014, 07:01 AM   #40
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On my regular computer today, so I can multi quote!

Quote:
Originally Posted by leeloo View Post
I think you look adorable! And small.

You should totally blame any dissatisfaction with the picture on your pose and the dress. Wide stripes are hard for anyone to pull off, and I agree that us shorties need a hem that hits right at the knee, or goes all the way to the floor. Anything else tends to make us look stumpy.

On the other hand, I think the V-neck is super flattering on you, and the wrap cut works, too (lucky!). I think also your arms look fine, but if you don't like them, pick out tops with a 3/4 length sleeve.

If I was your personal shopper, I'd get you a knee-length (it can cover the knee, but no more!), 3/4- or long-sleeved, V-neck, wrap dress in a solid color. And I'd put you in a knee-high boot. They look great, and also provide coverage so you don't feel like you're in a short skirt.

(I might be a little opinionated )
I have never liked my legs. they are short and have always been my chunkiest spot (prior to adult obesity and children!). It's difficult for me to wear anything shorter, but I understand the concept. LOL! I will look for the above mentioned type of dress and retry, but still may just stay with jeans and dress pants. PS: opinionated is just fine with me, I love the advice...it's why I posted the picture! thank you! I do have knee high boots, but I didn't think it'd look good with that dress? <shrug>

Quote:
Originally Posted by zipp2play View Post
Melinda, girl, you are BEAUTIFUL! I would kill to be tiny like you! One thing, I never look a camera dead on. I always angle my body. Looking straight on just widens the body. That being said, YOU LOOK AMAZING! GIve yourself some POSITIVIE vibes. I have read that simply looking in the mirror and saying out loud (for me):

Monica, your hair looks great.
Monica, you have gotten smaller.
Monica, your eyes sparkle.

For example, eventually the brain will register it and accept it. You deserve that. You look amazing and I know I aspire to be / look more like you! YOU are amazing, don't let YOURSELF tell you anything different.
awww, Monica, you are so precious! Thanks sweet friend! I am actually ok with where I'm at most of the time. I am just finding myself struggling suddenly with some body issues that I wasn't feeling so much early on in maintenance. Not quite sure what that's about, but it's there. The dress thing is throwing me off since I'm NOW used to shopping being a better experience. (which is odd, yet delightful...and EXPENSIVE) oh well, I've gone this long without wearing dresses, I can be ok keeping that up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrostyBeav View Post
Leeloo kind of hits on it but a lot of us that have been overweight for a long time kind of forget how to choose clothes that flatter our bodies. We spend so much time trying to hide in our clothes and it programs our brains to look at clothes that way. When you lose weight, you have to reprogram yourself into dressing for the new thin you and not still as a fat person.

I suspect you don't like dresses primarily because you are still choosing the kind of dresses you would have when you were heavier instead of what flatters the way you are now (like the aforementioned shorter hemline). Personally, I was born without a fashion gene so when I lost a lot of weight before, I had to rely on outside help at first to choose clothes that fit my new body. It was weird buying fitted shirts and regular cut (not relaxed) jeans but they looked soooo much better. I don't know if you have someone you could rely on as an outside party to help pick what fits (we can't always trust our own eyes) but it might help.
Nope, I don't really have anyone to help IRL, that's why I posted the picture here. You all are my friends. I do have my hubster, but out of the probably 15 dresses I ordered to try out, he only liked 1. (and it wasn't the one I posted, and it was one I thought was too tight on my gut and would require mucho spanx for me to feel even quasi comfortable wearing out) I agree with you, though. I have used sales gals at stores for help with more fitted stuff and needed much reassurance before buying items because I am used to hiding in clothes. I am finally more comfortable in more fitted jeans, at least!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hot-in-texas View Post
you look cute and perfectly porportioned! I don't know how to spell that word.'

Very very cute!
Thanks girl!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLi914 View Post
Aww Melinda you look fantabulous. I love red on you. I agree with Carol that a shorter hem line would be great and I hope you accented that dress with navy pumps like Cindy suggested. Don't forget to stick one hand on the hip and push out the boobs. You got all those goodies so now you just need to show em off.
Love you gf! I don't have any dress shoes, just knee high boots, ankle boots and flats. I will look for some navy pumps, though! (if I ever wear the dress anyways...I'll probably be too self conscious to try now)

Last edited by Flutter; 01-31-2014 at 07:02 AM..
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Old 01-31-2014, 10:05 AM   #41
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I agree about the shorter length! You may freak an say UGH! But really, the longer skirt just might not be matching your shorter frame. Add that to some heels, and it will make all the difference in the world to your legs!

I know you have trouble with the weight training, for several reasons. What do you think of yoga? Have you tried many different versions/instructors/videos? There are some yoga videos that I just can't tolerate, but I've found the one instructor that I love. And yoga could help in so many different ways - posture, strength, breathing...
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Old 01-31-2014, 10:21 AM   #42
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I agree about the shorter length! You may freak an say UGH! But really, the longer skirt just might not be matching your shorter frame. Add that to some heels, and it will make all the difference in the world to your legs!

I know you have trouble with the weight training, for several reasons. What do you think of yoga? Have you tried many different versions/instructors/videos? There are some yoga videos that I just can't tolerate, but I've found the one instructor that I love. And yoga could help in so many different ways - posture, strength, breathing...
I need details, gf, DETAILS! Which yoga person do you love? I have Netflix!

I am wearing a warm tunic today with leggings. I'm sure you would all approve, since the consensus is the dress is too long. LOL! I'm still uncomfortable since the tunic is a few inches above the knees, (and YES, I am wearing it with knee high boots!) but I am just going to have to get over myself. Apparently, my eyes cannot be trusted ATM.
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Old 01-31-2014, 10:34 AM   #43
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I'm still uncomfortable since the tunic is a few inches above the knees, (and YES, I am wearing it with knee high boots!) but I am just going to have to get over myself. Apparently, my eyes cannot be trusted ATM.
Yay! It's awesome that you're trying new things. Go on with your cute self .
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Old 01-31-2014, 11:23 AM   #44
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We used to have Dish Network, and they have the Veria channel. That is where I found the best yoga fit for me... Unfortunately, now we have DirecTV and they do not offer the Veria channel. I have found a few of the programs on YouTube and of course, you can order his DVDs online... But I am so sad that I cannot just DVR his shows and do one every morning now!!!

It's 'Yoga For Life' by Kurt Johnsen. He has other versions too - Power Yoga, and some others. But I really liked the Yoga For Life. Most yoga for me is too slow and boring, or doesn't explain what they are doing well enough for me. He explains it all very well before and during the actual program. This program just seems to flow at the right speed for me. And it feels like exercise. And I was even able to do it with my hip issues (except, of course, while I was recovering from surgery).

Look him up on YouTube. And if you find it anywhere else, let me know!!!
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Old 02-09-2014, 06:15 PM   #45
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Still have to try out the yoga, I will, Scarlett!!!

Updating because I need opinions on this dress. Any better? (although, I realize it's not any better in length...it's still just under knee length. I have really ugly legs, though)

I was just happy to fit in a size 6 at nordy's. Wow!
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Old 02-09-2014, 06:36 PM   #46
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This one is GREaT!! I hope you bought it!
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Old 02-09-2014, 07:13 PM   #47
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Melinda, that dress is great! You looked adorable in the other one too. Of course, you would look cute in a burlap sack!!!

I hope you bought it, too!!! I want one!

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Old 02-09-2014, 09:30 PM   #48
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Super cute! You look slim and and that color is great on you. And I don't think the length is too long at all.

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Old 02-09-2014, 10:17 PM   #49
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The blue dress is great!
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:24 PM   #50
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Maybe that is the original problem with the dress/arm/leg/waist loathing!! In which case, I am just going to have to get used to the pudge.
I would like you to try something...I want you to quit using the word "hate" when you speak about your body parts. Each little body part makes up the whole you and you are beautiful! And it takes just as much energy to say the word "love" as it does to say hate. Maybe if you don't feel you love your arms or legs or whichever body part, start out slow. Say, "You know what, I LIKE my legs, (ARM/WAIST) they are strong and get me to wear I'm going and I'm gonna keep exercising and eating right and soon I will love them!" I know it may sound silly but just do it, change that one word hate to love and you will soon see a difference. And even if you don't believe it now, fake it til you make it!
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Old 02-09-2014, 11:21 PM   #51
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Absolutely love the color and fit on you! you look Gorgeous!
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Old 02-10-2014, 03:17 AM   #52
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I love that blue one... I want that blue one...
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Old 02-10-2014, 03:58 AM   #53
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I can totally relate to OP's first post.I sometimes try dress/outfits and look alright in the mirror,then when I look at pics,I wonder why I look like squeezed sausage.

It has to do with a number of things,like pointed out,the angle of photography.
It also has to do with fabric(knit and figure hugging materials vs cotton,linen etc)
A huge part is played by the cut of the dress,the wrong cut can make you 10-20 lbs heavier.
Then there the vertical stripes vs horizontal.In the first pic,I think this was part the problem and in the blue dress,you look much smaller (and pretty,of course).

We should try to wear clothes that fit and flatter OUR shape.for example,a big bust,looks even bigger in a crossover dress.A bigger tummy looks enhanced in an empire top.Shoulder heavy people are better looking when they wear longer sleeves.If your waist is not very defined,do not wear thick belts which aggravates the problem.
A V neck is flattering for most women.Wearing a black outfit on your problem area helps like if you are bottom heavy,wear black bottoms.Those with bigger thighs look good in flared tiered skirts.but if you have bigger butt,then stay away from those tiered skirts.
I have felt block prints with vertical black patterns on the seams are great for minimizing the figure.Wearing a colorful inside and an darker shade outside also helps look thinner.
Lower cuts are great if you have a lot of flab at the neck.

there is this book called How to never look fat again:1000 ways to dress -with pictures that was really helpful.
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Old 02-10-2014, 08:51 AM   #54
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I think you're beautiful! And skinny!!!
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:08 AM   #55
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I love the blue one. It's much more flattering. Rock it, girl!
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:11 AM   #56
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I love that blue one!
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Old 02-10-2014, 09:17 AM   #57
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I think that blue one looks great!
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Old 02-10-2014, 04:14 PM   #58
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Now THAT, my friend, is a smokin' hot dress! The blue lacy one. You look FANTASTIC! I hope you bought that one! Nordy's huh? I might have to find one like that!
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Old 02-10-2014, 04:20 PM   #59
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The blue dress is gorgeous on you!!!! I want to see it accessorized and with heels, when you actually wear it somewhere. Love, love it!!
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Old 02-10-2014, 07:32 PM   #60
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The blue dress is gorgeous on you!!!! I want to see it accessorized and with heels, when you actually wear it somewhere. Love, love it!!
Agreed! Love the blue on you. Try bone shoes or silver.
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