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Old 12-18-2013, 07:20 AM   #1
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why did I eat in a self destructive manner?

Hi all,

I have been trying off and on to get juddding... Now I am trying the psterostilbene to help with hunger and cravings. Yesterday I was doing great. Fasted until 12pm, Had tangerine for a snack as it was my low day. Was doing great until 3pm. I then had my ww dinner then after my dinner something came over me and told me I had to eat to feel better or to fill a void I was having. ( I am in happy marriage, have a great career yet I get these voids.... that make me not respect myself by controlling my mouth) I think when I over eat I am not respecting myself worth because I know I will get bigger etc and thats not good for me.

So I ended up eating about 1500 cals of junk food. I almost felt I was in a self destructive mood? I didn't feel anxious or stressed or even real hunger. It was a just eat mood that I can't describe. I knew it was wrong but I just kept eating to fill this void i was feeling. I was alone in the house and if I wasn't alone I might have not eaten so much because I would be exposing my bad behavior to my husband.

I usually tend to over eat because of stress and when I do that I know it's also considered a self destructive behavior. It was like I didn't care what the scale would say the next day. My mind just said "stuff yourself" . Almost like a survival mode type of message. For whatever reason I sometimes go into this survival mode. For example: I go to a Christmas party and I tell myself, Make sure you eat enough so later you are not hungry.... instead of have a msall amount and later you can have a snack... It's silly to admit but I have plenty of food at home .... so it's just nutty....Have any of you felt this way or have an explanation for this behavior?
Goal is to lose my regained wt! and return to 143 I weighed May '2012!!!

What ever you are craving now will be there for you to eat when you are done losing weight!!
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:25 AM   #2
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I can relate with the stinkin' thinkin' about my behavior. I sympathize with you - so what can you do about it? That's where I think the answer lies... change your mindset and thus change your behavior.

I read a book - it is NOT a diet - it's about cognitive thinking and how we can change our thoughts about food. Just look up Beck - it comes with a work book. It's daily lessons to help you relearn and change your thinking... some of the lessons didn't help me, but others have stuck with me after many years...

For what it's worth - somestimes it's not about the why... the heck with the why- just DO!
(I know for me, sometimes trying to figure out WHY is just a tactic I use to not do what I need to do - can you say procrastinate?)

And brush yourself off and give yourself a hug... love yourself and be kind. Hugs!

Last edited by Goner; 12-18-2013 at 07:27 AM..
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:36 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by cuttie99 View Post
... Had tangerine for a snack ... then had my ww dinner then after my dinner something came over me and told me I had to eat to feel better or to fill a void I was having....

.Have any of you felt this way or have an explanation for this behavior?
It may be an emotional thing, BUT...
it may be a physical thing going on in your body.

On an empty stomach you had...
With some vitamins and fiber wrapped around it, but sugar.

Then you had...
processed food.

You don't say the particular type you had, but I went to the WW site, and grabbed one without TOO much carbohydrate, Chicken Oriental. It had 41 grams of carbohydrate, 700mg of sodium. Only 1.5 g of fat (which is what satisfies) and 14g of protein(not too bad).

So, you raised your blood sugar twice, without giving your body much of the good stuff(fat and protein). This may be why your mind told you 'there's a hole, fill it up!' There was.

Hope this doesn't sound preachy. I just wanted to point out that there may be a very concrete physical reason why you felt that way.

Sometimes it is not about being emotionally 'strong' or having willpower'. It is a direct response to what is going on inside us on a PHYSICAL level.
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:43 AM   #4
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i totally get this way. and almost every time it is one of 2 reasons. PMS - ugh and blood sugar crashes. i agree with the above post. too many carbs, not enough protein. perhaps on your next DD stick with lower carbs and higher fat and protein. it may increase your calories a bit, but it will keep your blood sugar in check so you don't completely derail yourself.

hugs. we have all been there. brush yourself off and try again
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Old 12-18-2013, 07:43 AM   #5
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I agree. That is why I do so much better on the DD's when I have only protein such as HB eggs or turkey slices wrapped around a pickle spear. Those types of meals keep me hanging on on a DD.
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Old 12-18-2013, 08:27 AM   #6
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Cutie it's okay, happens.
A few weeks ago I was at a friends house that is a wonderful cook.
She so enjoys cooking and having people over.
It was my down day, I was doing great with her wonderful bowl of soup and fresh corn bread. The cookies were on the table looking at me a little bit.
I did not partake of the cookies. All was well.
The lunch table/work Area was cleared off, back to working on the float flowers.
The cookies were back in to the kitchen on the counter, I actually did a high 5 to myself in my head that i had passed on them..goofy huh.
But then I had to use the electrical out let in the kitchen, which was right by the cookie tray.
O brother, I ate 3 of the cookies, back to back...I wonder what the h?
I was fine without them.
I got to close to the cookies officer is my plea.
It happens Cuttie to allll of us.
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Old 12-18-2013, 01:20 PM   #7
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Thanks all for your feedback. I am doing fantastic today. Will not duel on the past and am moving forward. It guess it was just one of those days. just need to stay focused..Goner you are right. don't focus on the why and just just do. Maybe you guys are right about the fruit. maybe my body just went into the survival mode the minute I reintroduced foods again. the pstero I am taking is helping my hunger today. fingers crossed.!
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Old 12-18-2013, 02:18 PM   #8
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Why matters only if you really did hit a trigger you need to avoid for a few weeks/months (then test to see if it is gone).

Don't dwell on the lies your body told your mind. As you go forward, look for hunger patterns. JUDDD offers us so many opportunities to learn more about ourselves and our bodies.

And, if you cannot find any pattern/trigger...well hungry days do happen. Over time, they become easier to control/ignore.
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Old 12-18-2013, 03:45 PM   #9
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I'm glad to hear you're doing better today. Those moments of complete loss of self control always baffle me. They do happen every so often though. I used to sometimes feel when I was having a mini-binge (I don't really think I've ever had a true binging problem) that I was punishing myself, but I'm not sure what for. You can get past it!
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Old 12-19-2013, 04:46 PM   #10
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Stuff happens, and you have put it behind you and moved on. Happy JUDDDing.
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