Low Carb Friends

Low Carb Friends (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/)
-   JUDDD (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/juddd/)
-   -   Returning to WLM and a it's a bit scary.... (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/juddd/815354-returning-wlm-its-bit-scary.html)

cactusrose63 10-18-2013 03:00 PM

Returning to WLM and a it's a bit scary....
 
Hey has anyone ever been afraid to move to the next level of weight loss? I stopped last year and decided to be in maintenance for the fall and holidays. Was able to maintain pretty well then it was spring, summer and now fall again. I know it is perfectly fine to take a break, but I think I was taking that break because I was afraid to lose more. I have hit 139 here or there over the years and then promptly put back on 20 pounds. REALLY. Every. Single. Time.

If I start to lose again, that means breaking through THAT number. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how to handle this mentally. I feel as though I don't know how to interact with that new number and beyond--what--like I don't deserve it or something? I really don't know even why I am afraid but I think I need some direction from my JUDDD buds that have crossed this threshold before and come out the other side victorious!

KeirasMom 10-18-2013 03:12 PM

I took periodic maintenance breaks throughout my loss, but never because I was worried about going below a certain number. I'm afraid I'm no help there, except to say it's been very easy to go in and out of WLM/Maintenance with JUDDD. I did find I was looking gaunt in the high 140's a couple of months ago, so I went back into maintenance. Now I think I look pretty good in the high 140's, so perhaps there's just a period of adjustment. If you start to feel overwhelmed when you start going lower, maybe you could just slow it down with a higher percentage for DDs, so it's more gradual. Maybe that would help your body also go right past that 139 without too much trouble? :dunno:

LoCarbGal 10-18-2013 04:33 PM

I can't help with your mental block, but just wanted to welcome you back!

Librarygirl 10-18-2013 05:15 PM

Have you considered that you are already at the "perfect" weight and that is why you are reluctant to lose more? Are you losing more for health reasons, or something else? At your height, 140 is within the healthy range, if I'm not mistaken. :) Good luck to you whatever you decide, and welcome back!

Flutter 10-18-2013 05:38 PM

138-140 was always, always, ALWAYS my lowest and then I'd regain. I get what you're saying! For me, part of it was just that by the time I lost to that point again, I was tired of dieting. Resentful, ornery, just plain ole p'd off! ;) This time around, I was nervous as well, but after getting to that weight and regaining each time, the fear FOR ME was more about not being able to maintain it. Maintenance in and of itself was terrifying because I'd never been able to succeed at that. I've treaded slowly through that weight now, and even in to the 120s. It's pretty crazy really...but you know what? YOU CAN DO IT and since you already have a great handle on maintenance, it will be easy peasy to stay there!!!!!!!! Happy to see you back!!! You got this...we'll hold your hand if you need it!!! :heart:

Luv2Eat 10-20-2013 10:18 AM

Cactus, I'm certainly no expert on what you're asking. Wanted to welcome you back and congratulate you for sticking with watching your weight.

I can only share my experience, don't know if it even really relates too much to your question. For me, weight control has been a life long battle. Thank goodness for online calorie calculators, this has given me a quite useful tool in the toolbox. Anyway, I have taken breaks like you and it's a mental struggle to get back into WLM.

After getting to a really small size last year, my weight has crept back up a bit. For me, I had to wrap my head around how much work it is to maintain at a quite small size. I'm grateful for JUDDD, it's such a powerful tool for weight loss when worked right, but to be honest, the calories are really quite small, even UD's feel like hard core dieting. I think the challenge is to find a balance that is tangent to each benchmark, it's so hard to hit them all right on at once. It's a balancing act, for sure. Good luck with your weight goals and mental struggles - at least here we can share our struggles and this helps so much.

I think you may be worried how much extra work it might be to keep your very small size? Or, you're concerned you'll get complacent and gain again? Or, you're worried that you'll look sickly? You mention that you don't feel that you deserve to be small, are you worried about hurting other peoples feelings or that men will hit on you?

As far as coming out the other side victorious, I will never declare victory because I've found weight control to be a ubiquitous part of my existence. It is what it is, I just keep plugging along and try to keep perspective. Be kind to yourself, dear Cactus - you are a worthy person regardless of your weight.

cactusrose63 10-20-2013 03:57 PM

Thanks Luv2Eat...dieting really is no fun, but JUDDD is the most do-able of them all I have personnally found. You bring up some interesting points, I will think on them a bit.

I was observing, if your DD are 200 and your UD are 1200, that is an average of 700 cals per day. That doesn't seem right, people may lose on 1000 a day which I think of as pretty hard core dieting. No wonder JUDDD seems difficult for you--are you sure these are accurate numbers? They just seem extreme...

I am at work, will check in later.

zipp2play 10-21-2013 07:02 AM

:welcome: back. I completely understand what you are saying. For me though, it isn't FEAR it is CONTENT that steps in my way. I get to 166-169 and feel, oh, I look pretty good, feel good, must be fine. Then I get SLOPPY! I do firmly believe FOR ME, living life and not teaching my DD12 that you have to contantly worry about weight/size/food is very important, so being the SMALLEST I could possibly get isn't my goal. I want to be at a healthy weight and show healthy eating for my children.

There are plenty of people that would look at me and KILL to be my size OR would KILL THEMSELVES if they were my size. For me, getting smaller, will always be an option. At this point in my life, I have no desire to truly push to get that small. Not sure that makes any sense to anyone else, I guess it does to me.

KeirasMom 10-21-2013 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zipp2play (Post 16651925)
:welcome: back. I completely understand what you are saying. For me though, it isn't FEAR it is CONTENT that steps in my way. I get to 166-169 and feel, oh, I look pretty good, feel good, must be fine. Then I get SLOPPY! I do firmly believe FOR ME, living life and not teaching my DD12 that you have to contantly worry about weight/size/food is very important, so being the SMALLEST I could possibly get isn't my goal. I want to be at a healthy weight and show healthy eating for my children.

There are plenty of people that would look at me and KILL to be my size OR would KILL THEMSELVES if they were my size. For me, getting smaller, will always be an option. At this point in my life, I have no desire to truly push to get that small. Not sure that makes any sense to anyone else, I guess it does to me.

I totally get this. I admire your attitude about the whole thing. I'm doing my best to model good eating behavior with Keira, but we were at Subway on Saturday and she pointed out the differences in calories between a couple of items. That's NOT what I want her to be thinking about. I made sure to tell her calories aren't something she needs to be concerned with, as long as she's making healthy choices MOST of the time. It's so hard raising kids anyway, I really hope she doesn't get it into her head that she has to fit some physical "ideal." Ugh. Kudos to you Monica!

Carly 10-21-2013 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cactusrose63 (Post 16651308)
I was observing, if your DD are 200 and your UD are 1200, that is an average of 700 cals per day. That doesn't seem right, people may lose on 1000 a day which I think of as pretty hard core dieting. No wonder JUDDD seems difficult for you--are you sure these are accurate numbers? They just seem extreme...

I am at work, will check in later.

If I recall correctly Luv3Eat is quite a bit shorter than the average adult. I think she said she is the height of a grade school child, so I think that is why her numbers are lower. I could be wrong, but that is what I recall.

Goner 10-21-2013 07:51 AM

I see you've gotten some help here - all good advice, but I'll add my experience too... just in case.

I use my extra weight as a shield against "whatever" - when I get to a certain low weight number I start to get nervous. I begin to feel more confident, I know I act differently when I feel good about how I look, and then I think "Will others expect MORE of me?" Will they think I have it "all" together, when I know I DON'T - but without the extra weight I put myself out there without having all the confidence in all areas to sometimes pull it off well.

My DH treats me very differently - I would imagine I am more "fun" to look at without the extra fat, and knowing males are more "visual" than females - he responds to my thinner body. I begin to resent the attention rather than enjoy it... I think, but I'm the same person - why can't you treat me exactly the same. I know it doesn't make sense when I think it through - but I think the biggest reason I don't ever get to the end of losing weight and STAY there is fear.

I also realize it's ALL in MY HEAD too... I know I can overcome the fear, and I hope this time I maintain a healthy weight and get comfortable in my "new" body - and accept it as just a body and not WHO I AM.

Sirtain 10-21-2013 07:57 AM

I think there are so many emotions wrapped up in being a certain weight, or going below it. I am approaching the 160s now for the third time since I started JUDDDing. Each time I went back up, I 'found' a good reason: getting daughter off to college, very stressful. Extended visit from family- fun and stressful. Emotional upset, wanted to 'just relax'. But I have to wonder if I am just AFRAID of being a normal weight.

There are lots of different factors that have led me to feel 'safer' being overweight, but I still remember very distinctly an experience I had while losing weight when I was in my twenties. I was feeling very good about it, maybe strutting a little, and I got some very unwelcome, scary, and even dangerous attention directly related to my appearance. Well, bam, that ended that weight-loss episode, and I'm sure has been looping in the back of my mind ever since.

I am determined to get through the fear, though.

And you know, typing this out has made me remember that I have been using EFT/tapping for some stress issues, and it has worked very well. I think I will tap for this past experience, and see how it goes.

Thanks for bringing this topic up, Cactus. It is good for all of us to think about how we feel about our weight loss, consciously, and sub-consciously.

LoCarbGal 10-21-2013 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zipp2play (Post 16651925)
There are plenty of people that would look at me and KILL to be my size OR would KILL THEMSELVES if they were my size. For me, getting smaller, will always be an option. At this point in my life, I have no desire to truly push to get that small. Not sure that makes any sense to anyone else, I guess it does to me.

This is a great observation. I was having a frustrated time over the weekend because I am just so ready for the loss part of this journey to be done and get on with maintenance. It just can't happen fast enough for me it seems. But then while I was out and about, I noticed that I am now smaller than at least half the other women I saw, and I realized there are those out there who would kill to be my size. My year ago self would slap me today for feeling this way!

zipp2play 10-21-2013 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeirasMom (Post 16651945)
I totally get this. I admire your attitude about the whole thing. I'm doing my best to model good eating behavior with Keira, but we were at Subway on Saturday and she pointed out the differences in calories between a couple of items. That's NOT what I want her to be thinking about. I made sure to tell her calories aren't something she needs to be concerned with, as long as she's making healthy choices MOST of the time. It's so hard raising kids anyway, I really hope she doesn't get it into her head that she has to fit some physical "ideal." Ugh. Kudos to you Monica!

You know, it is tough. There is a fine line! I am NOT saying I have it all figured out, I don't. What I am saying is, for me, if I can maintain and not fret/show stress at a bit larger size, FOR ME, that's ok. You are WAY more focused/dedicated than I have ever been. I always strive to get even just a bit of that in my mind....Dawn I admire you so much!

zipp2play 10-21-2013 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal (Post 16652068)
This is a great observation. I was having a frustrated time over the weekend because I am just so ready for the loss part of this journey to be done and get on with maintenance. It just can't happen fast enough for me it seems. But then while I was out and about, I noticed that I am now smaller than at least half the other women I saw, and I realized there are those out there who would kill to be my size. My year ago self would slap me today for feeling this way!

Carol, you are exactly right! Think of your former self seeing someone at your current size. You would have thought WOW , wouldn't you????

Honestly, FOR ME, it is all relative!

Librarygirl 10-21-2013 09:25 AM

I do get it, the fear of being slimmer and more attractive. A year ago I would have LOVED to have the body I have now, but I have gotten used to it and feel like I am still grossly overweight. However, thinking of being 130 or even 140 seems scary.:dunno:

Luv2Eat 10-21-2013 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carly (Post 16652008)
If I recall correctly Luv3Eat is quite a bit shorter than the average adult. I think she said she is the height of a grade school child, so I think that is why her numbers are lower. I could be wrong, but that is what I recall.

Yes, Carly, you're right. Perhaps I should put this in my info. My height is 4'6" with heels - when my children were young and I went into the grade school, the average third grade children were the ones I say eye-to-eye with, so I contend that my height is that of an average third grade child. Also, I'm post menopausal and on medication that has 'weight gain' as a side effect. I'm on the tail end of the Bell Curve ;)

Luv2Eat 10-21-2013 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goner (Post 16652028)
I see you've gotten some help here - all good advice, but I'll add my experience too... just in case.

I use my extra weight as a shield against "whatever" - when I get to a certain low weight number I start to get nervous. I begin to feel more confident, I know I act differently when I feel good about how I look, and then I think "Will others expect MORE of me?" Will they think I have it "all" together, when I know I DON'T - but without the extra weight I put myself out there without having all the confidence in all areas to sometimes pull it off well.

My DH treats me very differently - I would imagine I am more "fun" to look at without the extra fat, and knowing males are more "visual" than females - he responds to my thinner body. I begin to resent the attention rather than enjoy it... I think, but I'm the same person - why can't you treat me exactly the same. I know it doesn't make sense when I think it through - but I think the biggest reason I don't ever get to the end of losing weight and STAY there is fear.

I also realize it's ALL in MY HEAD too... I know I can overcome the fear, and I hope this time I maintain a healthy weight and get comfortable in my "new" body - and accept it as just a body and not WHO I AM.

Goner, this is part of the mental conversation I've had before too. It's annoying to think that our loved ones can be so petty and fanciful. But, like you said, men are more visual, that's just the way they're wired. Also, when I was younger, attention from men actually frightened me, not sure why. Now that I'm older, I don't mind so much and even make eye contact occasionally ;)

KeirasMom 10-21-2013 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luv2Eat (Post 16652360)
Goner, this is part of the mental conversation I've had before too. It's annoying to think that our loved ones can be so petty and fanciful. But, like you said, men are more visual, that's just the way they're wired. Also, when I was younger, attention from men actually frightened me, not sure why. Now that I'm older, I don't mind so much and even make eye contact occasionally ;)

I'm really enjoying the extra attention from DH. :o I think it may be easier for me because he's also lost a lot of weight, so I can convince myself that it's not so much that he finds ME more attractive, as it is that he just feels better about himself. I know that's not the whole truth, but that's my justification, and I'm enjoying the benefits!

cactusrose63 10-21-2013 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luv2Eat (Post 16652348)
Yes, Carly, you're right. Perhaps I should put this in my info. My height is 4'6" with heels - when my children were young and I went into the grade school, the average third grade children were the ones I say eye-to-eye with, so I contend that my height is that of an average third grade child. Also, I'm post menopausal and on medication that has 'weight gain' as a side effect. I'm on the tail end of the Bell Curve ;)

So sorry Luv2Eat, I should not have assumed you did not calculate right or imply that you did not understand JUDDD/dieting. My apologies! :o Please forgive me.

Menopause is no fun, for more than just the food aspect either--I am feeling that for sure. I used to have "out of body" experiences before I went on HRT. I thought I was losing my mind.

cactusrose63 10-21-2013 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goner (Post 16652028)
I see you've gotten some help here - all good advice, but I'll add my experience too... just in case.

I use my extra weight as a shield against "whatever" - when I get to a certain low weight number I start to get nervous. I begin to feel more confident, I know I act differently when I feel good about how I look, and then I think "Will others expect MORE of me?" Will they think I have it "all" together, when I know I DON'T - but without the extra weight I put myself out there without having all the confidence in all areas to sometimes pull it off well.

My DH treats me very differently - I would imagine I am more "fun" to look at without the extra fat, and knowing males are more "visual" than females - he responds to my thinner body. I begin to resent the attention rather than enjoy it... I think, but I'm the same person - why can't you treat me exactly the same. I know it doesn't make sense when I think it through - but I think the biggest reason I don't ever get to the end of losing weight and STAY there is fear.

I also realize it's ALL in MY HEAD too... I know I can overcome the fear, and I hope this time I maintain a healthy weight and get comfortable in my "new" body - and accept it as just a body and not WHO I AM.

Wow. Just wow. Much of what I have been thinking you have written here. Thank you for this. Sometimes I think I am the only one who feels like this. I really do think it is the fear for me too, and the ones you mention really resonate with me. Yes, to be at peace with my newly emerging body, that is key.

Goner 10-22-2013 11:54 AM

I'm glad I had the "nerve" to put it out there... but somehow your original post just spoke to me and my fears. Your very welcome.

Sirtain 10-23-2013 05:33 AM

Afraid of 160s?
 
I hit 169 again this morning, and this time I am CLAIMING it! I deserve to be slender, I don't need to be afraid of it. :)

LoCarbGal 10-23-2013 08:20 AM

Fantastic Sirtain! Claim it, own it, enjoy it!

cactusrose63 10-23-2013 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sirtain (Post 16654878)
I hit 169 again this morning, and this time I am CLAIMING it! I deserve to be slender, I don't need to be afraid of it. :)

That's right, you DO deserve it...you go girl!!!

cactusrose63 10-23-2013 06:43 PM

Well after thinking about this a bit, I decided on a course of action to deal with the evil scale...

I am just going to ignore it. I am going to stick with normal rotations, eat healthy and work out, and just watch and feel my clothes get looser. I have a skirt that used to fit when I went through a divorce years ago, and I still love it and it hangs in the "I have a Dream" part of my closet. This will be my goal skirt. Other than that, I just don't think I want to see the scale number until I fit in that skirt, and that way I don't need to be freaked out by it.

Dawn, I am going to use your suggestion to up my DD a bit so the loss may be a bit slower but I will have more time to wrap my head around my new shape. And I am just going to try to enjoy how I feel when I eat well and learn some better eating habits for my UD's.

Goner 10-23-2013 07:31 PM

Sounds like a good plan Barb. I wish you well...


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:02 AM.