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Old 08-23-2013, 06:28 AM   #1
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Struggling with not feeling like a diet failure

I keep mentally (and physically) calculating the months and the pounds lost, and it looks dire. I'm coming up on 1 year of dieting seriously (Sept. 13), and only 32 lbs down. I know that I've taken a lot of breaks, not been as strict as many of you, and generally have had a laid back attitude to weight loss. However, as much as I tell myself it's still a win and that I look 100x better now (not to mention how I feel), as the months pass I can't help but compare myself to others. Even if it's not comparison to other JB's, just adding the months and subtracting the losses tells me all I need to know. I want to kick myself for not doing more, sooner, and often think of how I could have been to goal by now. At this rate, in two years time I won't have made it to goal. Anyway, it's my pity party and I'll cry if I want to.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:33 AM   #2
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YOU.ARE.AMAZING! Everyone's journey is different! You're losing and feeling better - that's awesome! And that's all that counts. As long as you don't quit, you're in it to win it no matter how long it takes. And honestly, I think we all feel like failures at some point. I spent YEARS trying to lose the weight I'm losing now. I wish I had stuck with it like you are!

Hugs!
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:36 AM   #3
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Your doing amazing!
I've been dieting since the 1st January and I've gained 9 lbs - go figure!
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:49 AM   #4
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2.6 pounds lost a month

You know all those weight loss commercials that have the fine print of "you CAN lose up to 2 pounds a week" on them? And all the "average loss is 1-2 pound a week" ones?
The even finer print says that's adding their diet, supplements and exercise plan.
The fda or nalc or whichever entity does ACTUAL statistics for weight loss says the real sustained average is 1-2 pounds per month, not per week.
So you're ahead of the average AND able to diet only "every other day" AND enjoy the foods you love.
So pat yourself on the back
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:08 AM   #5
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But you're still losing! And you're not "failing", you're practicing maintenance!

Who wants to do an Oprah and lose 70 pounds or whatever in 4 months only to gain it back and then some within a year? Most of us have been on that particular roller coaster and it ends badly.
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:17 AM   #6
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recently I've been watching all the different Horizon BBC videos on weight loss--The Men Who Made Us Fat and the Men Who Made Us Thin--it is so clear from these videos that people do not lose weight and keep it off. We don't recognize that hanging out on this website, especially on JUDDD because SO many people here are successful. By any standard outside of this little piece of internet heaven, YOU are a raging success. Just so ya know.
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:22 AM   #7
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:40 AM   #8
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Cindy, you cannot compare yourself or your stats to anybody else. Your journey is yours and yours alone. Nobody here is going through exactly what you're going through in your day-to-day life, and nobody here has the exact same set of hormonal or physical circumstances as you. I could be seen as a great success, based on my starting weight and current weight, but I often feel like a failure too, especially these last 6 months when I can't seem to decide what I want my final goal to be, or how to get there. I've switched my WOE around so many times since January, it's mind-boggling.

BUT . . . . I always come back to JUDDD. Because it works. Because it's relatively painless. Because of this board. That's why I'm not failing and gaining back everything I've lost. You are so far ahead of the game, just by being here and working this plan into your lifestyle. You WILL get to your goal. I have faith.
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Atkins 10/24/11 @ 277.6
JUDDD 12/12/11 @ 267.8
January 2013 @ 165.0: Maintaining however feels the most comfortable with little bouts of WLM thrown in here and there.
January 2014 @ 145: Maintaining with 5:2 and/or JUDDD
July 2014, weight is creeping up: Back to JUDDD.
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:49 AM   #9
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Yes, what everyone has already said!

Cindy, you ARE a complete success story. You have stuck to JUDDD and lost 32 pounds! That's more than most of us can say for the bulk of any given year of our lives. You've done it in a way that fit your lifestyle. You've been able to eat yummy treats and indulgences half of that time. You've done it in a way that didn't mean making yourself crazy with extreme restriction and denial.

Don't compare yourself with anyone else. Certainly not me. I had such a long road to travel that I *HAD* to be maniacal about it. I couldn't stomach waiting years and years, and still being horribly fat. You are not horribly fat. I would LOVE to be where you are right now. And I know I will be in the coming months. And in those same months, you will be lower than you are right now.

You always know that if this pace is too slow, you can buckle down and get really strict and speed things up. But will you be able to live with it? Will you be enjoying your time? We each have to make that judgment about our own situation, and decide what level of deprivation we can live with, and in what time frame we need to see what level of changes.

Personally, I think you're doing brilliantly.
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Old 08-23-2013, 10:38 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dottie View Post
2.6 pounds lost a month

You know all those weight loss commercials that have the fine print of "you CAN lose up to 2 pounds a week" on them? And all the "average loss is 1-2 pound a week" ones?
The even finer print says that's adding their diet, supplements and exercise plan.
The fda or nalc or whichever entity does ACTUAL statistics for weight loss says the real sustained average is 1-2 pounds per month, not per week.
So you're ahead of the average AND able to diet only "every other day" AND enjoy the foods you love.
So pat yourself on the back
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:20 AM   #11
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Thanks JBs. I just had to put it out there. I love all the support and encouragement we give each other here.
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Old 08-23-2013, 01:31 PM   #12
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You are doing marvelously.

32 pounds is 32 pounds!

If you had gained that much in a year, you would be appalled, so appreciate your loss, and be THRILLED!
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Old 08-23-2013, 02:33 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoCarbGal View Post
Yes, what everyone has already said!

Cindy, you ARE a complete success story. You have stuck to JUDDD and lost 32 pounds! That's more than most of us can say for the bulk of any given year of our lives. You've done it in a way that fit your lifestyle. You've been able to eat yummy treats and indulgences half of that time. You've done it in a way that didn't mean making yourself crazy with extreme restriction and denial.

Don't compare yourself with anyone else. Certainly not me. I had such a long road to travel that I *HAD* to be maniacal about it. I couldn't stomach waiting years and years, and still being horribly fat. You are not horribly fat. I would LOVE to be where you are right now. And I know I will be in the coming months. And in those same months, you will be lower than you are right now.

You always know that if this pace is too slow, you can buckle down and get really strict and speed things up. But will you be able to live with it? Will you be enjoying your time? We each have to make that judgment about our own situation, and decide what level of deprivation we can live with, and in what time frame we need to see what level of changes.

Personally, I think you're doing brilliantly.


You have lost a good amount- nothing to sneeze at surely. You got to enjoy cupcakes, cocktails and other yummy things and still lose weight. Celebrate that and know that if you want faster loss it is possible, but perhaps not as fun. The best part is you get to chose and then change your mind ten times if you wish.
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:20 PM   #14
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Yep, I don't think I could have done it another way, really. It's taken me all these months to think of other ways I might want to incorporate continued weight loss. Different food selections, as well as exercise. Still in the thinking stage right now.

By the way, it's 29 lbs since Sept. I had lost 3 lbs over the course of 3 months trying to limit calories, from June-Sept. 2012.
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:25 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
Yep, I don't think I could have done it another way, really. It's taken me all these months to think of other ways I might want to incorporate continued weight loss. Different food selections, as well as exercise. Still in the thinking stage right now.

By the way, it's 29 lbs since Sept. I had lost 3 lbs over the course of 3 months trying to limit calories, from June-Sept. 2012.
Hey Be Glad you have lost 32 pounds, that is something to be proud of. You have stuck with it you shouldnt feel bad about yourself. You could be like me and give in and gained weight. I want to be like you and stick with it even if its not the speed I think it should be. I think your weight will be weight that stays off cause you have done it the right way.
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:45 PM   #16
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Thank you, Debra. You're here too, so nobody's a failure that keeps on keeping on!! It's so much easier to encourage others than to encourage yourself isn't it?

A lady commented to me today as we passed each other, "Melting Away!" I haven't lost a pound since I saw her last either, lol. I resisted the urge to say, "I wish!"
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:57 PM   #17
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It's so much easier to encourage others than to encourage yourself isn't it?
Ain't it the truth!
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:20 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
I keep mentally (and physically) calculating the months and the pounds lost, and it looks dire. I'm coming up on 1 year of dieting seriously (Sept. 13), and only 32 lbs down. I know that I've taken a lot of breaks, not been as strict as many of you, and generally have had a laid back attitude to weight loss. However, as much as I tell myself it's still a win and that I look 100x better now (not to mention how I feel), as the months pass I can't help but compare myself to others. Even if it's not comparison to other JB's, just adding the months and subtracting the losses tells me all I need to know. I want to kick myself for not doing more, sooner, and often think of how I could have been to goal by now. At this rate, in two years time I won't have made it to goal. Anyway, it's my pity party and I'll cry if I want to.
I agree with what's been said by the others, really, but it sounds like there's lots of room to pick up the pace, according to what you've written. Tomorrow is the 24th. That's exactly 4 months till Christmas. (I don't know if you celebrate; if not, ~4 months till the end of the year.) If you could manage 5 pounds a month you'll be at 155 by the holidays. If you could manage 7 pounds per month, you'll be at 147 by then.

I'm only saying this because from what you've written it doesn't sound like you're a slow loser. It sounds like you've not been very diligent about it - which is a much better position to be in because you can do something about it.

My own case is much worse, I've done a lot of regaining. At least you haven't done anything like that. I'm doing a low carb version of JUDDD in hope of losing a bit faster than average. I hope to be at 249 or lower by Christmas.
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Old 08-24-2013, 07:40 AM   #19
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Well, with strict rotations I lose about 3 lbs a month. So, still not a fast loser. 3 lbs is very, very good for me, for a month's loss. The stricter I get, the faster I burn out and I've found it difficult to maintain a strict regimen. Not to mention, life happens, and tomorrow I have to do a 2nd UD in a row in order to fulfill a social obligation.
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Old 08-24-2013, 08:10 AM   #20
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I need to fit more "social obligations" into my life! I have one tomorrow too and am quite looking forward to it.

I've read that a gallon of fat weighs 8 pounds. So just think, you have lost 4 GALLONS of fat! Like 4 pails of ice cream! And at the rate you've lost, I'll bet you dollars to donuts that 100% of it is fat with no LBM loss and loose skin issues.

At the national weight control registry, lots of the people have lost their weight over the course of years and even decades. But they've kept it off. I don't know, in my experience, losing weight fast in a "let me ignore my body and head signals because I have a very important GOAL! I simply cannot enjoy my holiday if I weigh 10 pounds more!" is easy (but usually unsustainable). Keeping it off is very, very hard and you're doing that.
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Old 08-24-2013, 09:02 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
Well, with strict rotations I lose about 3 lbs a month. So, still not a fast loser. 3 lbs is very, very good for me, for a month's loss. The stricter I get, the faster I burn out and I've found it difficult to maintain a strict regimen. Not to mention, life happens, and tomorrow I have to do a 2nd UD in a row in order to fulfill a social obligation.
If you're doing as much as you can do, then you're doing great. I should listen to you on the subject of burnout. My own weight history is a series of losses followed by re-gains.
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Old 08-24-2013, 09:14 AM   #22
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Very wise words, Jacqueline. I love your posts!

Allison, I do feel like I've finally made a commitment that I can stick with. I guess allowing myself the many breaks that I have, has made it possible for me to never give up. Not once have I thrown in the towel, as I always knew I'd go back to rotations. That has to be a win right there.
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Old 08-24-2013, 02:13 PM   #23
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Cindy, you are doing it lady, slow and steady and while enjoying life. That sound like success to me.
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Old 08-24-2013, 02:29 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
Very wise words, Jacqueline. I love your posts!

Allison, I do feel like I've finally made a commitment that I can stick with. I guess allowing myself the many breaks that I have, has made it possible for me to never give up. Not once have I thrown in the towel, as I always knew I'd go back to rotations. That has to be a win right there.
It's the references to snacks... donuts... ice cream... NO idea how they sneak in there!
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Old 08-24-2013, 03:25 PM   #25
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I can't really add much more to what's been said here already so I'll just say this....

Remember the tale of the Tortoise and the Hare? You're that Tortoise and even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes, you ARE winning!

Take a break if you need to and center yourself and come right back. The only failure is quitting!
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Old 08-24-2013, 08:11 PM   #26
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Lg, so sorry I am just seeing this...you know what you are doing and why gf!!!! You are losing slowly and I totally get that you want to be losing faster, but as the others have said, you are doing this RIGHT! You aren't feeling deprived or burning out at all, and that is beyond fantastic! Be nice to yourself, would ya?!?!?!!!! You know what works for you and you are doing it beautifully! xoxo love you!!!!!

Last edited by Flutter; 08-24-2013 at 08:13 PM..
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Old 08-24-2013, 11:55 PM   #27
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LCG, I have been losing and gaining the same lbs for the last 8 years, but you are 32 pounds better off than you were this time last year and it proves to all of us that a consistent steady approach is far better and far more realistic than any quick fix. I am the queen of quick fix, which = the queen of regain and I've been unsuccessfully messing around since January, the only one I lost consistently on was JUDDD, the others were great for a couple of weeks and then I couldn't stick to them or came off plan due to a social commitment and never got back on plan. Personally I am both inspired and reassured by your journey as it tells me that if I stick to plan it will come off even if that plan isn't as strict as some other people are able to accommodate.
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Old 08-25-2013, 02:40 AM   #28
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So much good advice here, warm hugs and encouragement. But in the end - you need to believe in yourself and you need to LOVE yourself enough to continue on the path to better health through weight loss. If you keep telling yourself you are a failure... IMHO... you will believe it. So turn that message around each and every day - remind yourself of your accomplishments!! You have the power! You can do it... you've proven it by losing 32 pounds!!
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Old 08-25-2013, 05:17 AM   #29
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Thanks again, Friends. I really appreciate all of you so much.

I do feel great about what I've lost so far, but when I think I have that much more and then some to get to goal, it seems rather daunting. I won't let that stop me, though. Onward and downward (after this 2nd UD I'm having today).
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Old 08-25-2013, 06:00 AM   #30
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LibraryGirl, I am in the exact same boat Literally.

Started atkins on Oct. 1 last year.
I have lost 32 lbs. as of right now.

I sat here thinking the exact same thing!! Failure. By Oct. 1 ---1 YEAR for heaven's sake---I should be way ahead of 32lbs gone!!! Like you, I have about 35-40 also left to lose.

I tried atkins, juddd, calorie restriction, back to general low carb my way. I had good times losing and then ate the world and gained. It seemed like up and down constantly and it gets old.

BUT, then I thought....hmm. Who is timing me? Just me! Who is watching this journey and with total interest? Just me! Who is complaining I only lost 32lbs in a year? Just me!

So I realize it is just me making myself feel like a failure for only losing 32 lbs in almost a year. BUT I can't add that 32lbs back! I would feel like a blimp.

So I am working on ME! My attitude! My thoughts! I am a success because I lost 32lbs. so far. I am head of the game on my journey to goal. What if that 32 wasn't gone? geez, I would be right where I started and lost nothing.

WE ARE SUCCESS STORIES, not failures. We ARE ACTUALLY losing. We are changing to healthier foods. We are gaining life and energy and NOT wallowing in heavier weight anymore.

I am glad you wrote this LG. I am thinking failure also but NOW I REALIZE WE ARE SUCCESS STORIES. On-going success stories, but none the less, a SUCCESS!

Hang in there. I am gonna keep trucking the lbs off, no matter how slow, goal WILL HAPPEN for both of us.
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