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-   -   Hanging on by a thread... but hanging on (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/juddd/808579-hanging-thread-but-hanging.html)

sorenkkg 07-23-2013 04:28 PM

Hanging on by a thread... but hanging on
 
Hi Gang!
Lots of new folks here! Most excellent! :jumpjoy:

I just wanted to say that, well, I'm here. I'm not always *here* here, but I'm still trying to do JUDDD, and not let life's lemons sting too much. I'm squeezing lemonade as much as possible :)

I think I'm bummed I've let my weight creep up (all this work travel has been an excuse and I need to be accountable and figure this stuff out).

I'm super bummed we have to spend all this $$$ to fix the kitchen (dishwasher leak, need new floors... which led to cabinets and counters and, and, and. Not new appliances, I drew the line!).
Movers are coming to pack up the kitchen and dining room stuff tomorrow, so that's freaking me out.

I do NOT like this kind of change (my mom DOES, so we moved a lot and she even moved the furniture a lot, and it just stresses me out).

I had a little cry about my dearly departed Aleeya (greyhound, 13.1yrs old, cancer, suddenly, April) and I feel like I failed her, and that she suffered in pain (she was on pain meds, but still... we didn't know it was cancer, we thought it was something else) and I just feel badly about it. :cry::cry:

And I think I'm taking a new job at my same company, next year (um, I worry in advance, to get it out of the way) and it will be totally new to me, and so that's on my mind too.

*************
ok, it's possible this is being influenced by pms/hormones. But still....**************************

I want to try to be positive also:

at the end of August, I will have:
  • a brand new kitchen
  • new floors in kitchen, living room, dining room
  • clean dining room shelves (b/c we're fully unloading it, so I'll clean it before we reload it)-- it's glass and mirror, and will look awesome when clean
  • new paint in all those rooms, plus the PURPLE hallways will be some other color
  • they're fixing the bad-ish job we did on the powder room (wallpaper removal is evil)
  • a new couch (can't put a 10yr old slobber covered red couch in my nice new room, now can I ;)
  • my VP really values me at work, and I'm sure I'll learn what I need to for the new role (like a sales person, but just for Training) and it's the part of my job now that I like the most, so getting more of that should be a good thing

Ok, so, really, just needed to vent, and when I refer back to these things 1000000000 times in the next 30 days of the reno (including yet another business trip to CA), you'll know where I'm coming from.

I'm doing my rotations. They're not perfect, but I am doing them. :)

:heart: you guys!
S.

KeirasMom 07-23-2013 04:53 PM

:hugs: That's a whole lot to have to deal with all at once. I'm so proud of you for continuing rotations to the best of your ability during this time. I think, when you're ready and not so stressed, the rotations will be easier and more effective, simply because you've been continuing to do them.

LoCarbGal 07-23-2013 05:07 PM

Exactly what Dawn said!

Soren, you've been dealing with an awful lot, and sometimes that's all you can do. Don't beat yourself up about the weight/eating right now. We all have times when life takes over and concentrating on eating is just not in the cards. You will get back to that and feeling good about it. I feel I know you a little bit, and you are most definitely a determined, focused person. If you want it, you will make it happen! :hugs:

Please, please don't feel guilty about Aleeya! You were doing the best you knew how for her, and loving her, and that is worth so much. I truly believe they understand how we feel, and know we are doing our best for them.

We're here whenever you need to vent, cry, laugh, etc. :hugs::heart:

Librarygirl 07-23-2013 05:13 PM

:console:Soren:console: It sounds like a lot of things are going on right now, and I think it's normal to feel sad and a little bit overwhelmed. You're always so bubbly and kind, so you deserve a little time to yourself. I know how you feel about your beloved dog, and I would be doing the same thing.:hugs:

I hope things continue to look up, and the new furniture and updated house will be rewarding when it's done. Vent any time.:heart:

calichris 07-23-2013 09:08 PM

Soren :hugs: I'm so happy to see you!

Work travel is a huge challenge, no doubt about it. You are much less in control and your routine is disrupted. I know that you will figure out strategies for how to make it work. :up: And the stresses you've been under have not helped either. We've all been there, in that too-much-is-going-on place.

Aleeyah has always been so loved and well cared for with you and your DH. :console:

Please vent all you need to ... it'll help with your JUDDDing. Yay for keeping up rotations! I know from personal experience that even imperfect rotations can still take you places. :high5:

Carly 07-24-2013 03:38 AM

:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Read that list a couple times a day, because it's a lot of great stuff to look forward to!!! However it's a lot of stress right now. We miss you around here so check in with us and let us give you lots of :hugs: and :heart:

Alcestis 07-24-2013 05:11 AM

Sounds like you're being honest about your feelings and dealing with life - which sounds wonderfully healthy! Hang in there. Post often :hugs:

sorenkkg 07-24-2013 05:21 AM

Thanks guys! You da bestest!!! :hugs:

zipp2play 07-24-2013 05:29 AM

Soren, I have missed you and wondered how you were doing. Way to step back and look at the positives! Hope to see you around here!

pooticus 07-24-2013 05:30 AM

Yay Soren, that all sounds like awesome news! Sometimes change comes disguised in dramatic packages!!! But it sure sounds like once the inconvenience is finished, you will have a lovely, refreshed home to enjoy! Congrats on the new job!!!

You will get this JUDDD thing figured out. I have no doubts!

:hugs:

elphie124 07-24-2013 05:45 AM

Hugs! You are dealing with a lot! Try not to be too hard on yourself. And I second (third?) everyone who said to vent here anytime. Sometimes it just feels better to share our frustrations!

TryingJudd 07-24-2013 05:57 AM

Congratulations on a great plan and a great attitude - but that's no surprise! Sounds like lots of good things to look forward to and in the meantime you are doing what you can do for your health. Sometimes (really, all the time) all we can do is keep on keeping on. We're behind you all the way - bumps and all - because none of us get a smooth path.

Saxy1971 07-24-2013 09:13 AM

Big hugs to ya, Soren! My glass is full of lemonade nowadays too. :) I've tweaked JUDDD more than a few times in the past several months (currently doing 1 meal a day, which surprisingly, has kept my binging under control) but I know I'll return to JUDDD when I'm ready....not just because you all are the COOLEST, most supportive group ever.. ;) ..but because it works if you work IT. That being said, sometimes a little speedbump here and there comes along, and we just need to slow down for it and get back up to speed when it's appropriate. :)

August sounds pretty busy and exciting....enjoy it. :) :) :)

vanilla_latte 07-24-2013 09:17 AM

:hugs::console:

Wow, that's a lot going on! You'll get through it all.

Don't feel bad about Aleeya. I'm sure you did what was best for her with what information you had. :console:

More big :hugs: :hugs:!

Joyjoy 07-24-2013 10:21 AM

Soren,
LIFE. Yikes.
You sound fantastic.:):heart:

sorenkkg 07-24-2013 01:15 PM

Thanks ladies! :hugs: I miss you guys! I feel so supported here, it's really helping.

Funny-- the guys are here packing and moving my stuff (to basement or garage). I'm feeling less stressed as it gets done, ya know? Just 1 big thing, the glass/mirror/brass monstrosity of the china cabinet.

Anyway, I stepped out to get lunch (I took today OFF, b/c I'm stressed, but not stupid! :) not that I haven't been emailing all day anyway :p)
ANYWAY-- I realized I needed some stuff for Haka at the vet.
And our main vet, who's known us now for 8 yrs, even if she isn't always the one to treat them, was there. And she came out to just chat with me, see how I'm doing, she gave me a hug, she knew all about Aleeya even though she wasn't there at the time.

And I asked, did we do enough? And we talked through it, and she said, you did exactly what you should've, and had we known it was cancer sooner, we wouldn't have advised you to do anything differently. Which is what me and DH have been telling each other, but it's still good to hear, ya know?
And she told me some of her personal story (had to put down her 14yr old dog, and now has a new puppy, and sees some of the old dog in the puppy, and feels he's with them still...) :)

Ok-- so, I think that's a sign, sort of. Like, it was on my mind, and I shared with you, and then I got this confirmation, randomly, today. I need to let that go now.

I'm documenting the reno on my FB and on my blog (fb for daily stuff, then I'll sum it up in big chunks on the blog). Blog link is below, and my fb is under my name (PM me if you want to friend me up :) ).

I seriously breathe better when I'm "talking" to you guys. :hugs:
S.

Kissa 07-24-2013 02:05 PM

Oh Soren, I really feel for you. Any kind of renovation work is disturbing and disruptive. And yours was thrown at you rather than planned. It sounds as if now that things are actually underway it will be easier for you to manage.

And the job is good news. :)

I am so glad you met the vet like that. As you say, it is almost as if it was meant to be. You certainly did your best for her and it is time to try to let yourself move forward.

I am still feeling so bad that I didn't even get to speak to you when you were over. It was just so full on with my lovely Vicky home. Please forgive me. Did the cab work out okay?

So good to see you back posting.

(I have to tell you that when I read Reno on FB I thought you meant Reno, Nevada. Doh!)

LoCarbGal 07-24-2013 02:17 PM

I'm sooooo glad you're feeling some better hon! And especially glad you got to speak with your vet. I know that means a lot when you respect her so much. Now you can let that burden go and begin letting the sweet, fun memories of Aleeya come filtering back after the pain.

I can't even imagine what this time will be like for you without your kitchen! Boy, I guess we really take that room for granted, don't we? I'll try and peek in both on FB and your blog to see your progress. I can't wait to see the finished product!

Keep hanging out with us here - we need you breathing! :hugs:

KeirasMom 07-24-2013 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kissa (Post 16529604)

(I have to tell you that when I read Reno on FB I thought you meant Reno, Nevada. Doh!)

I read it that way every time I see it. :o

Librarygirl 07-24-2013 03:59 PM

I do too. :D Soren, I was so glad to read that you had talked with your vet. That has to be a great weight lifted.:hugs:

sorenkkg 07-24-2013 04:40 PM

It was kismet. We also talked about Haka. Emotionally, physically. I really believe he's on his last legs, literally. She speculated that its a neuro thing, which I agree with. She gave it a name, but basically, messages not making all the way.
Again, she said, he's not in pain, unless he falls down. And we discussed using a sling or towel to help him up, walk, whatever. We'll see- I think that's a quality of life issue.
But he's not in pain. Thankful.

Kitchen! Movers are gone. I just found that they missed a whole set of base cabinets!! :mad:
Pots, pans, cutlery, widgets.
Ah we'll, I'll get dh to do it ;).

Omg, it's really so good to "see" you all!

Kissa-Cindy... I know! But I'm so happy you got to see Vicki! :clap:
I was so work work work, it's not great for a visit. And it was hot! I. Not at my best when I'm sweaty ;)
Oh, and yes, the cab was perfect, thanks a million for organizing that!

cici52 07-25-2013 05:23 PM

:stars:Can't imagine dealing with all that at once. You are amazing!:hugs:

Saxy1971 07-26-2013 06:31 AM

I say we all just meet in Reno and party.

;)

LoCarbGal 07-26-2013 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saxy1971 (Post 16531799)
I say we all just meet in Reno and party.

;)

Yes!

KeirasMom 07-26-2013 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saxy1971 (Post 16531799)
I say we all just meet in Reno and party.

;)

I'm down!

FairyWren 07-26-2013 09:37 AM

Wow Soren that's so much to deal with all at once, you have all my admiration for holding it together :hugs:

sterlinggirl 07-26-2013 09:42 AM

:hugs:

sorenkkg 07-26-2013 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saxy1971 (Post 16531799)
I say we all just meet in Reno and party.

;)

LOL, my other FB friends said that too (reno = Reno NV). LOL

I will be in Las Vegas in October for work... hmmm :confused: ;)

Today, I took some of the chairs to a refinisher-- these were in the basement when it "rained" on them from the dishwasher leak (read: flood).

Seems they have leather seats, but that would be $$$ to put back on, and I don't want to fight with insurance, so I'll go for "bonded leather" and we're looking at about $200 per chair, for 7 chairs. (seven. why do I only have 7 chairs. so weird).

Anyhoo, that's the update. I'm feeling less overwhelmed... until Monday when the demo starts.

There's no Demo USA, is there? LOL ;)
s.


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