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-   -   50 Weeks on JUDDD -- Sigh (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/juddd/806440-50-weeks-juddd-sigh.html)

stephdray 06-19-2013 03:15 PM

50 Weeks on JUDDD -- Sigh
This week I weighed in at 247 lbs for a gain of 2 lb this week, a total of 43 lbs lost, 36 of them on JUDDD.

This is going to be a broody and whiny post. You have been warned.

I kept careful track of my calories this week, and they are in overall deficit. And yet, I bounced back up on the scale. I have been bouncing around 247 for months. I can't say that JUDDD is failing me, but I'm failing at JUDDD.

Low Point

No More Double Down Days. To get my new low last week, I did a double down day before my weigh in. The downside to that is that coming off of two down days, I was super hungry. And that hunger resulted in an up up and away day. I woke up two pounds heavier. The next day, after a great down day, I'd gained another pound. So I tried another down day, to see if two down days in a row would erase it. The next morning, I was up another two pounds. So, just so we're clear on what I did--I ate an average of less than 1,000 calories a day for five days and gained five pounds. It was probably water or bloating or some other random thing, but the psychological effect of this was devastating. And I am done with that experiment.

Return of Old-Fashioned Down Day Blues. While neither of my double-down day rotations was very painful or problematic, when I returned to normal rotations, my down day was more difficult than any I've had in quite some time. I had trouble sleeping last night because my stomach was trying to eat itself. That hasn't happened in a long time. I muscled through it because I hoped it meant that I'd see good things on the scale in the morning, but I didn't.

Discovery of Pseudo-Hunger. After eating a big breakfast today, something kept telling me that I needed more. More. More. I felt like my belly was full, so I tried to slow down and figure out the source of this compulsion. It wasn't boredom. And it didn't feel like a craving; it felt like some kind of desperation. I've never been a drug user, so I have no idea what an addict might feel like, but if it feels like I felt while I frantically reached for a 60 calorie jello pudding snack in a vain attempt to tame the beast, I feel new sympathy.

Vacation Blues. One of the reasons I had hoped to be closer to 240 this week than 250 is that I'm leaving on a trip in a few days. It will not be diet friendly. And then I'll have only one week to erase whatever damage I do by my JUDDiversary. That's why I've been working so hard, throwing in double down days, etc. I'd hoped to leave feeling confident. Instead, I'm feeling pissy.

High Point

Shopping at Macy's. I went clothes shopping this week for stuff to wear on vacation. I didn't find anything I liked. However, I was tickled pink by the fact that I was able to shop in department stores like Macy's and fit into some of their clothing. I haven't been able to do that in almost twenty years.

Any of you going to be in or near Saint Petersburg Florida this weekend? If so, come see me at the Historical Novel Society's book signing and I promise I'll be cheerful and non-whiny and non-broody!

KeirasMom 06-19-2013 03:19 PM

:hugs: I'm sorry you had a hard week. I wish I was in Florida this week and could come see you!! I'd give you a big old hug and smooch in person!

brewstate 06-19-2013 03:21 PM

When weight refuses to budge for me, I slip into maitenance for a month or so and then invariably want to get back to strict rotations at the end of the month, feeling refreshed and ready to face new lows. Have you thought about 5:2? The reason is when low carbing I read a really interesting article about bodies being resistant to losing more than 20% of your body weight and shutting down weight loss after that until you establish a new set point. Ironically, it looks like you are at roughly a 20% weight loss (congratulations by the way!!!) so you may need to convince your body 247 is the new normal before it will let go of more weight.

LoCarbGal 06-19-2013 03:34 PM

Aww Steph, I'm sorry it's been a rough week. It sounds to me like your body is responding to the stress of multiple double DDs. I'm no expert - what do I know? But maybe the magic truly is in the EOD nature of JUDDD. :dunno:

I hope you will enjoy your trip nonetheless. I would love to be able to see you at one of your events! If you're ever in the Phoenix area, please let me know! But I hope for your sake that you won't be for the next several months, unless you love heat!

Carly 06-19-2013 03:48 PM

:hugs: It really stinks when we want to see certain numbers and the scale is not cooperating. I hope you have a great time in Florida and maybe after a nice vacation the weight loss will pick back up.

I can't believe it has been almost 1 year!!!!!!!!

Think how far you have come in 1 year!!!!! I will try to resurrect that very first post if I have time. :hugs:

Carly 06-19-2013 04:05 PM

I could have saved this for you on your judddiversary, but I felt like you could use it today :hugs:

LoCarbGal 06-19-2013 04:20 PM

Wow Carly, that was perfect! That must have been just before I started poking around here and I never dipped back and found this thread.

Steph - look how far you've come! :hugs:

Lori_:) 06-20-2013 02:56 AM

Thanks for posting that link Carly....made me cry.

Steph, enjoy your vacation. JUDDD will be here when you return. You have done so well and I'm sorry you're struggling. I'm struggling too and it helps to read about another person's highs and lows. We're all in the same boat..we just have to keep rowing!


FairyWren 06-20-2013 03:27 AM

Thanks for posting that link Carly, wow Steph, as has already been said you've come an amazingly long way - i've added you to my growing list of JUDDD heroes! :hugs:

CarolinaCoast 06-20-2013 04:06 AM

Hi Steph. Sorry you had a rough week. I had a bit of a similar experience this week with attempting double DDs. I was trying to switch my rotation to make room for Italian tonight. Instead of taking the suggestions I always read here about going ahead with two UDs or a MD, I decided I could do two DDs. Boy, was I wrong! The second DD ended with ravenous hunger and a big splurge after dinner. The following UD I was still like a beast and ate tons of carbage. Then yesterday's DD was very difficult. I kept it below 750, but even that was hard. Now this morning, I'm still starving, and I can usually skip breakfast even after a DD. Even after yesterday's DD, I'm up 2.5 pounds from Monday's weigh-in. The double DD experiment failed for me.

I think from now on, I'll just relax and rotate like they say, and not try to be so heroic.

Enjoy your vacation, and when you come back, it will fall back into place. You've done so well. Hang in there!

tobelowcarber 06-20-2013 04:30 AM

Steph, sorry to hear you had a rough week. I wish I could give you a hug :hugs:
You have done so well on JUDDD. You should be really proud of yourself!!!
Enjoy your vacation, JUDDD will be there when you come back. Have fun !!!!!

deedee 06-20-2013 07:50 AM

I'm sorry it's been such a rough week Steph! I hope next week will be better and the scale (which is often such a poor form of measurement on our journeys) gives you happier results.

I completely understand and relate to your frustration. I am a slow loser as well, and sometimes it's hard to accept that it will take me 2 years (or maybe 3 even) to lose all the weight I need to lose. When the scale isn't showing me continual results, despite my best efforts, that can sometimes feel a little overwhelming. I find your posts so comforting though, and I know others do as well, so thank you for continuing them so reliably!


Shopping at Macy's. I went clothes shopping this week for stuff to wear on vacation. I didn't find anything I liked. However, I was tickled pink by the fact that I was able to shop in department stores like Macy's and fit into some of their clothing. I haven't been able to do that in almost twenty years.
That is such a lovely NSV. Even though you didn't find anything, how fun is it to try on clothes with what feels like a brand new body?

Goner 06-20-2013 07:59 AM

Hugs. I feel for you when you work so hard for something and then feel you weren't rewarded for your efforts. It's a common feeling. Everyone can relate in some way. Such loving friends you have here. I hope you can feel the love. :heart: And enjoy your Florida Trip!

Flutter 06-20-2013 09:10 AM

I hate that feeling of desperation. I am tempted sometimes to just continue on with a 2nd DD. I think, for me, it's some sort of weird self punishment thing...or continued guilt from years of yo-yo dieting telling me that eating is my problem to begin with and I should wait longer before starting my UD cals. <shrug> I don't know, but I totally get wanting to do a few DDs in a row. I have to remind myself that this line of thinking leads to feelings of deprivation, which leads to diet fatigue and just plain ole me being angry and throwing in the towel. My mantra is, "stick to the plan, it works, do not deviate no matter how tempted you are!" lol

I am SO SORRY you are feeling frustrated this week and feel the psychological effect of the "experiment" was harmful. Just chuck it up to learning something else valuable about your journey. Don't do that again! ;) :heart:

<I completely lost my train of thought, my kids all just got up, figures!>

At any rate, this will pass, Steph! You have almost a year of steadily bouncing down the scale! THAT IS AMAZING!! I have never been able to do that. I'm always too busy quickly losing & regaining every 8 months. It's an incredible gift you've given yourself. You have been able to consistently move down towards your goal of a healthier you! You are already doing it! You have already made incredible, positive, life affirming changes!!! I know we all want the "goal" of some elusive scale number, but that's not the prize. The prize is the journey of learning to love yourself and figuring out how to most gently get you where you're wanting to go. You're doing that! Slow & steady girl! You got this!!!! :love: :heart: Go & enjoy your vacation!!! (and wooo-freaking-HOOOO on shopping at Macys!!!!)

Flutter 06-20-2013 09:13 AM

:jumpjoy::clap::heart:I just want to add: look at the title to your post! 50 WEEKS on Juddd!!! FIFTY WEEKS of increased health and progress!!!! It's incredible!! WOW!!!! :jumpjoy:

Candiceena 06-20-2013 09:19 AM

Steph, please don't get yourself down too much. Bodies are miraculous amazing strange weird beautiful things and sometimes they just don't listen to us, dammit! ;) I am new to JUDDD but I understand your frustration as I am sure many of us do. Like Carly said, look at how far you have come! Slow and steady really truly does win the race because this is about your healthy and your lovely long life you are going to live.

Maybe, like someone above me said, go on maintenance for a few weeks, let your body "relax" and then get back to losing again. I too have read about the body having set points at about 20% of weight loss and needing to adjust to that.

Doggygirl 06-20-2013 09:55 AM

Hi Steph. I too am a :newbie: but just wanted to say that from where I sit starting out, I find it so encouraging that you have STUCK to this plan for 50 weeks. I hope I can stick with it as you have, even when the going gets rough as it inevitably will. I hope you have an awesome time in St. Pete (I lived in that area for several years, years ago - awesome place!). I hope you feel energized when you get back! Do you write historical novels? I would love to hear more about that once you are back home!


Flossyliz 06-20-2013 11:39 AM

:console: :heart:Steph!:heart: :console:

You set yourself up for the treble trap of a goal weight plus 2 goal dates. No wonder you're feeling so disappointed after all that pressure! :stars:
I hope you can relax next week and enjoy your trip. :cool:

You have awesome self-discipline :notwrthy:
You will be able to let JUDDD do it's magic when you return. :love:

Librarygirl 06-20-2013 07:06 PM

Everyone's said it all. I'm late to the table, no pun intended. ;) Still enjoy reading about your journey, regardless of the pitfalls because I know you will persevere. You are committed, and we all want to read your story!:friends:

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