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Old 05-20-2013, 05:09 PM   #1
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So discouraged

My head is spinning. I've been looking at other weight loss plans and I'm about ready to throw in the towel. I have been slack for the last few days and have put on 4 lbs overnight, seemingly. I am not bingeing. I had TOM last week, after skipping two months (periomeno), went down to a new low and now am steadily gaining it all back and then some. I feel out of control and just can't get motivated to work any harder than I already have/am. I don't know if I can fast eod long enough to lose 40+ more lbs. Thinking about it just depresses me beyond belief. I can't think of anything else that I could possibly do successfully, and the only other option is to be satisfied with being obese.I may take another break (beyond the past few days of no DDs), longer than 5 days, which is what I recently took (and maintained)...I don't know what the answer is, but it's not an easy one.
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:35 PM   #2
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Cindy - don't give up! Your weight will come off, you may have to tweak whatever plan you chose until you find what fits for you - but it is very, very possible.

Some things you may want to consider:
  1. there is a (very long) thread on this site called pterosilbene - an appetite suppressant - I just ordered some, looks like many are having success with it
  2. just finished reading a book "It Starts with Food" which describes an eating plan that is basically 30 days of strict paleo - with the idea of discovering what might be trigger foods for you - seems do-able combined with this WOE - and who knows, you might just be sensitive to something that causes you to overeat and/or gain weight, and once removed it could be reasonably simple to lose
  3. I started at a similar weight to you, and I worked like crazy to initially get my weight down - but once you've managed that then you simply work on maintenance (which is work, but not nearly as hard) - and if I could do it, you definitely can!
Whatever you do, don't "settle" for obese - it's not just the extra pounds, it's all the related health problems...

So best of luck whatever you try, but do continue trying!!!
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I've been low-carbing since 01/01/1994 (weighed >200#) - reached my goal weight in 1995 (125#) - maintained with a few blips (gaining up to 160#) along the way - lost weight on HCG but hated the no-fat! - now up about 10 pounds and looking for a solution!
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:43 PM   #3
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Just sending you hugs. I am in the same place you are. When you find the answer please, pretty please share it immediately!
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:51 PM   #4
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Oh Cindy. Sending you lots and lots of

I know how hard this can be when the road seems so long. But you've already come so far, and I know you'll find the right WOE for you, one that doesn't depress you or make you feel dread. It sounds like a more extended maintenance break might be a good idea, just to get the stress off your back? I hope you feel better honey.
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:04 PM   #5
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Cindy, I just want to send you a huge hug. Please don't give up. I think taking a few days to think is a great idea, but know that we are all here.
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:08 PM   #6
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Just lots of hugs. There a many different paths to the destination. I hope you find what works for you and does not seem dreadful. After a break see what feels manageable. Would the DDs seem more tolerable if you saw more losses? Maybe you can committ to strictly adhering to your calories after a nice break. Sending lots of hugs
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:14 PM   #7
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Gosh, you've accomplished so much, please don't just throw it away. Do you do any type of exercise? Even walking? There is a Walking Thread. Thing is exercise helps depression which is where you are right now.

You're on a journey and that journey takes time with ups and downs. Focus on what you've accomplished, not what has gone or going wrong.
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:50 PM   #8
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Cindy Please do not panic about the scale being up by 4. If those pounds went up "overnight" they will also quickly come down. There's no way you had 14,000 calories above your maintenance calories in the last few days, so that number on the scale can only be mostly all those factors you know about that can make the scale go up temporarily. A bounce up from that is to be expected and is nothing permanent.

You sound really, really ready for a break. Maybe you'd like to join LCG and me on a higher DDs maintenance break for a bit? It's nice when you're feeling frustrated to take a break in a controlled way for a while, and LCG and I have somehow seen the scale go down while doing it. You could switch plans for a while too, but if nothing else appeals I think a maintenance break would take the pressure off those DDs.

Last edited by calichris; 05-20-2013 at 06:52 PM..
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Old 05-20-2013, 07:37 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
My head is spinning. I've been looking at other weight loss plans and I'm about ready to throw in the towel. I have been slack for the last few days and have put on 4 lbs overnight, seemingly. I am not bingeing. I had TOM last week, after skipping two months (periomeno), went down to a new low and now am steadily gaining it all back and then some. I feel out of control and just can't get motivated to work any harder than I already have/am. I don't know if I can fast eod long enough to lose 40+ more lbs. Thinking about it just depresses me beyond belief. I can't think of anything else that I could possibly do successfully, and the only other option is to be satisfied with being obese.I may take another break (beyond the past few days of no DDs), longer than 5 days, which is what I recently took (and maintained)...I don't know what the answer is, but it's not an easy one.
I took a month off during my weight loss journey so I would not burn out. Helped me to keep on keeping on. But don't quit now.
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Old 05-20-2013, 07:43 PM   #10
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I took a month off during my weight loss journey so I would not burn out. Helped me to keep on keeping on. But don't quit now.
Take a break, it just may help!
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Old 05-20-2013, 07:48 PM   #11
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I was gonna say the same thing. I know Carly said she took a break too, and I think Dawn did too. So 3 of our rockstars all agree - take a break! Better to take a planned break, rest your weary self then jump back in when you're ready than to throw in the towel and let it all go off the rails and undo all your hard work.
Hang in there honey, we love you & want only the best for you. And if a break is what's best for you right now then, by all means, take that break. No shame in that at all.
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:26 PM   #12
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Awww, Cindy...I knew you would get some sound advice from these precious caring budds. Hope it will make a difference in your VERY UNDERSTANDABLE FEELINGS right now.

It took me a year to lose 30lbs., but was so worth the difficult days. I remember how things could look different to me in a day or two sometimes. Had to stop and start a couple of times too, due to family crisis. All in all, my mind was just made up to do it.....but I had to re-motivate myself plenty!

I believe you love this WOE.....so a break might be just the ticket...but you know in your heart of hearts what you will be happiest doing.

Don't go away though!.......whatever you decide to do!

Phyl
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:33 PM   #13
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Sure, take a breather! Nothing could be more sensible. Sometimes you've just got to hang back so you can catch the next wave of inspiration. adi gave a great example. Try something new for a while, or just try maintaining a while and concentrate more on other aspects of life. Let us know how it goes.

Oh, there's Phyl! Hi, Phyl!

Last edited by Whitlin'; 05-20-2013 at 08:35 PM..
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Old 05-20-2013, 10:33 PM   #14
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Cindy Please do not panic about the scale being up by 4. If those pounds went up "overnight" they will also quickly come down. There's no way you had 14,000 calories above your maintenance calories in the last few days, so that number on the scale can only be mostly all those factors you know about that can make the scale go up temporarily. A bounce up from that is to be expected and is nothing permanent.

You sound really, really ready for a break. Maybe you'd like to join LCG and me on a higher DDs maintenance break for a bit? It's nice when you're feeling frustrated to take a break in a controlled way for a while, and LCG and I have somehow seen the scale go down while doing it. You could switch plans for a while too, but if nothing else appeals I think a maintenance break would take the pressure off those DDs.
Everything Christina said! I would love nothing more than to have you join us on our maintenance break. I can't tell you how much relief, mentally, I've had just knowing I can go up to 1000 calories on DDs, and I haven't even come close to that once. Just the knowing I can, and enjoying a few hundred more per day, has been such an immense relief. I find I don't even have to think much about it.

Before I decided to do this break, I remember reading Dawn, Carly and Adi's accounts of their breaks, and they wound up maintaining easily and/or actually losing during those times. I thought "My body won't work that way, I'll probably gain on a maintenance break". Not unlike when I first came across JUDDD and I thought "My body won't work that way, I'll never be able to lose on a plan like that."

I'm so sorry you're struggling, Cindy. We don't want to lose you, and I definitely don't want to see you let all your hard earned losses slip away from you. Please hang in there!
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Old 05-21-2013, 02:44 AM   #15
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Sending lots of hugs, I do hope you find something that works again for you!

p.s ... when you do... please share
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:38 AM   #16
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Nothing wrong with considering another plan.

Sometimes the fit of this plan might not be right for you.

A new plan change can give one new motivation when we stagnate in the brain

You can try new things but can always go back if you get a better idea of how you want to proceed and change things up again.

You can DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! You aren't chained to one way. You can maintain for a while on something like 5:2, you can find a new plan and jump on it with new motivation and see if it moves you in the right direction, if not you can try JUDDD again.

There are a zillion ways you can proceed. Don't let it get you down seriously. You tried. You got some success but alot of hard work for it. Maybe you can come across something easier??

Any new plan you want to try? If so go find out about it and see if it might be a fit for you.

best of luck LG!!!! I know you will find your way!!
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:34 AM   #17
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Thanks everyone. I have a lot to think about. Dieting, for me, requires a lot of mental work and positive attitude. I have been short on that lately, and it makes everything seem harder. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon and may see what she recommends.
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:35 AM   #18
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I'm really trying not to let those pesky thoughts get me down too. I'm also peri-menopausal, and am having a really horrible TOM after nothing for a few months. This sucks! I'm 4lbs up from a week ago, and higher than I have been in months. All I can do is hang on and ride this wave.

Be kind to yourself. Be calm. You'll ride it out.
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:01 AM   #19
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Hugs from a fellow south carolinian I too am taking a break. After gaining on a PH...I took Carly's advice and focued on toning my body. It is just a number, it is so much more important to be right mentally and spiritually than what that silly ol' scale says. I have been trying to eat PHD style with a daily splash of raw goat milk keifer Shhh don't tell anybody! Hoping that I can re-evaluate some things, and get happy I tell my kids that all the time "GO AND GET HAPPY."
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:47 AM   #20
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I agree with everyone above!

I just want to add. Maybe just try maintance for a wee little bit. Sometimes our bodies hit our "set point". And it takes a bit to reprogram it to realize it needs to go below. I know me personally I have a set point at 180 and then again at around 170. I remember ages ago I will have another at around 150. Once I can get my body to stop being so buttheaded and go below that I start to lose again. Its just a weight you were at for a longer period of time and your body became accustom to that weight and "thinks" thats where it needs to be.

When I hit my set points, I just keep doing what I am doing, ignore the scale, and make sure I continue with the exercise. Its frustrating but you can get past it!

The whole peri thing I am sure is frustrating.....trust me I know......but search the net for supplements that can help get you through it! Once I started searching menopause a whole new world opened to me that I didnt know was there reguarding natural help!

I do wish you lots of luck and hugs to figure this out. We all have been there!
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:01 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamatomany View Post
Hugs from a fellow south carolinian I too am taking a break. After gaining on a PH...I took Carly's advice and focued on toning my body. It is just a number, it is so much more important to be right mentally and spiritually than what that silly ol' scale says. I have been trying to eat PHD style with a daily splash of raw goat milk keifer Shhh don't tell anybody! Hoping that I can re-evaluate some things, and get happy I tell my kids that all the time "GO AND GET HAPPY."


I really, really like what mama has to say here. Maybe just focusing on some nice, healthy foods and bumping some walking & toning up would help? There are really so many options because YOU CAN NOT GIVE UP!!!!!! You hear me???? Kissa is not here to kick your butt at this moment, but I will do it!!!!! You need to ignore the nasty voice in your head and listen to your buddd's that have your back. We love you and see how much progress you have made! Do not give up, make a switch for a bit, do the LCG/Chris maintenance thing for a bit, WHATEVER you need to do to get your inner groove back, because you are so gonna figure it out and get to your goal!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:09 AM   #22
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Not a whole lot to add what has already been said - but I am right there with you. I was thrown off the rotations with events and then some little stomach bug of some sort and its just too hard to try to deal with the rotations with everything this week. Honestly though - eating on a day that was supposed to be a DD is actually making miss them. Who'da thunk it?

Isn't the idea behind this woe that we are keeping the body guessing with the rotations? So taking a break or even trying something new may be just what your body - and your mind - needs to give it a bit of a kickstart!

Hang in there. So many of us go through these struggles and there are so many success stories, even with we slow losers. You will get there!!! Be kind to yourself first.
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:29 AM   #23
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Quote:
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Thanks everyone. I have a lot to think about. Dieting, for me, requires a lot of mental work and positive attitude. I have been short on that lately, and it makes everything seem harder. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon and may see what she recommends.
Exactly! That is where I keep finding myself, too. It seems I lost my life-drive along with my libido when the hormones bottomed out. It takes so much ENERGY in general to keep slogging on with a diet without the expected results to re-energize you!

Take it easy on yourself...and TAKE CARE of yourself!
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:43 AM   #24
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Hugs to you and I know exactly how you feel! Diets that work for everyone else seem to NEVER work for me. I'm on day 8 of 5:2 (except I did 4:3 my first week) and I actually gained a few ounces! I know weight can jump all over but I definitely expected to see some loss with a 4500 calorie deficit (and I walk every day and I counted on my feast days!).

The only thing that truly worked for me was hCG but the second I go off of it and start eating anywhere near "normal", the weight comes right back on. Paleo eating does allow me to maintain pretty much wherever I am but if I add ANY grains back in (even healthy ones like quinoa or buckwheat), I gain.

I will tell you that I tried The Leptin Reset and I did lose on that but it's a bit hard if you're not someone who eats first thing in the morning (and HUGE breakfasts at that). But I did lose immediately when I did it and I might go back to it if 5:2 doesn't prove to work for me. I'm giving it 3 more weeks and then I'll re-evaluate.

I hope you find what works for you so you can be at peace!
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:49 AM   #25
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Hi Cindy,

WOW, what an amazing group of loving, caring JUDDD BUDDDs! I don't have any advice to add, it's all been said, but I hope that you can feel the love and concern that's been exhibited here for you. We are all so lucky to have each other to help us on this path. It sure means the world to me to see the support that gets poured out for us as we need it, when we need it. Lots of hugs to you and I just know you'll find your way.

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Old 05-21-2013, 11:58 AM   #26
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I feel like I've been carried literally through the past however long by you guys. I hesitated a long time before posting this last night. I really don't want to discourage newbies or make anyone feel down. I just have to talk through what I'm going through in order to GET through it and move on. Fortunately, you get to hear (see) it.

On Friday our air conditioning stopped working and it was 98 degrees outside. I haven't been able to get in touch with a local guy I know who could do the work for me, very reasonably and so we have gone without air for 4 days now. Two weeks ago one of our cars broke down (on the highway, had to tow it to the mechanic), and it's still not fixed and we are having to adjust our schedules in order to share one vehicle...all this has added to financial strains/worries, and I guess it has not helped with dieting either...

The only thing about taking a break that would concern me is gaining back half the weight I've lost. It's taken 6 months to lose 18 lbs, so yes 4 lbs is a lot to me. So, even though I've wanted to take longer breaks I'm always scared to death I'll have to start all over again...

Doctor's office called me this morning and said my doctor has to have surgery on her rotator cuff and will not be able to see me (until Sept!). I decided to make an appt with another doctor in her office for next month...so, it will be a while before I can get any doctor's advice too.

Thanks for listening and encouraging me.

Last edited by Librarygirl; 05-21-2013 at 11:59 AM..
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Old 05-21-2013, 12:27 PM   #27
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Sounds like a rough time all around for you, Cindy. I'm sure sorry about that.

I was scared to gain too, when contemplating this maintenance break. Christina calmed me a little, saying she didn't think we would gain, and we have both been losing. Is it that you feel like the break you need is more not counting at all, rather than just upping your DD calories? If so, I completely understand. This tracking tracking tracking all the time can be wearing. It's one thing if you're losing and feel there is a payoff, but when nothing's happening, it's kind of like "what's the point?".

Whatever you decide, we're here to listen, and cheer you on. It'll get better, and you'll figure it all out. Hang in there friend!
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Old 05-21-2013, 01:32 PM   #28
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I did wonder if a fair amount was going on *elsewhere* that might have contributed to the demotivation and sense of being discouraged. More than understandable and I'm so sorry that all of this is happening at once for you. It's almost as if *Life* accumulates trading stamps and cashes them all in at once for wearing and demotivating experiences to hand out when you don't feel at all up to coping with them.

Not on the same scale, but I sense that I'm beginning to burn out a little which is why I shall be adopting a maintenance break, amongst other TBD changes from Saturday.

Best wishes.
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Old 05-21-2013, 01:33 PM   #29
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Gallery: Seabreezes
Stats: 191/162/160
WOE: JUDDD let me lose 30 pounds and keep it off
Start Date: Seems like forever - restart June '11
Dear LG,

I don't know if you can get by with just coffee in the morning, but I have found that waiting until noon to eat and quitting by 8PM has helped me to maintain and even lose a bit more. You still can't eat a lot of so called junk food, but you can eat quite a bit of food.

I guess that I am lucky that I get full very easily, so it is easier to stop eating. I am also so thrilled to have found JUDDD and do not want to put back any of the weight I have lost. I am probably the senior member of the group and it doesn't get easier as you age!

I hope you find something that you are happy with. If eating would fix the AC and repair the car, I would say, "go for it!", but some how that just doesn't work!

Sending lots of hugs and we are all rooting or you. You really have done well as losing weight, any amount, is HARD!
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Old 05-21-2013, 04:32 PM   #30
Big Yapper!!!!
 
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 9,124
Gallery: Librarygirl
Stats: HW 207/(JUDDD) 198/CW 172/GW 150 5'4 49 yo
WOE: JUDDD
Start Date: Low calorie 6/12 ; Low carb 9/12/ ; JUDDD 11/13/12
I'm not sure if I will do a DD tomorrow either. I don't think I can go back to fasting easily until I am completely ready. I do want to stick to JUDDD because any other WOE to lose weight does not appeal to me in the least. I think I had it in my mind that I would meet my goal this summer, at least by the end of it, when I started in November. Now I know that is not possible, but it's not the end of the world. I am going down little by little and if it takes till NEXT May, I have to do it. I think I should start a journal instead of bombarding you all with my constant worries, etc. lol. The next time I feel like sharing, it will be in a weight-loss journal, I promise.

ETA: Aloha, you put it so succintly. Eating or doing anything other than attacking the problem itself doesn't fix anything. I guess I've felt overwhelmed and worried about finances, etc. and doing the work that it takes to diet was just too much.

Last edited by Librarygirl; 05-21-2013 at 04:38 PM..
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