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Old 05-02-2013, 05:43 PM   #1
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Weird Habit...Hiding high calorie foods/treats

Not literally hiding food, lol. But, I noticed that I still want to "sneak" candy or other "forbidden" foods on UDs. For instance, I had a candy bar today (totally in my calorie budget), and when a co-worker asked what I was eating, I instantly tried to hide it. Do you still feel like you're being "bad" on UDs like I do sometimes?
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:35 PM   #2
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Guess I am strange, lol.
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:53 PM   #3
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No I don't feel that way but I get it.

I actually haven't told many people that I'm on a "diet" - the few that know also know what I am doing, and I can eat what I want on UD so it's fine.

Enjoy your candy bar!!
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Old 05-02-2013, 07:31 PM   #4
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I have to say when I do eat something unhealthier (like a candy bar) it is mostly the realization that I should be choosing healthier items.

I guess it comes from saying---we want to lose weight, eat healthy and control our lives for a higher benefit of being. So maybe that candy bar does represent something to you, kinda you need to hide it from everyone?????

Not a therapist LOL, just a guess. I kinda see it that way how I would feel.


I have been explaining to everyone when I ordered a 3 egg omlette, double cheese, and double bacon. I AM ATKINS. I CAN EAT THIS!! Believe me I felt like a piglet and had to explain my food to others cause of my need. but it was basically my meal for the whole day yet I had to make others know that it was a weight loss plan, was working, and I wasn't a hog at the trough.

maybe when someone sees that candy bar you are eating, you are saying kinda the same thing. gotta hide it fast, I mean you are on a diet right with healthier food options etc. that candy bar doesn't fit in really. yet you can have it without guilt. maybe it is more of a personal guilt. if no one sees me eating it, it doesn't exist type thing?

LOL this is all a guess mind you but I kinda know what you mean. I had atkin experiences eating things and I know I had feelings about the situations also.
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Old 05-02-2013, 07:42 PM   #5
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Nah, I like it when people see when I eat junk. Especially since most don't know how I'm losing my weight. I like the little thought bubble you can see over their heads... "How is she losing weight eating THAT?!?!?"
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Old 05-02-2013, 07:43 PM   #6
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No, definitely not it (Trigger). I don't feel that I'm eating unhealthy by choosing some higher calorie treats on UDs. I do eat healthy, and don't use UDs to eat fast food all day long, but I always allow a treat (or two). I guess it stems from the years of being fat, and I wanted to believe that it happened for no reason. When I was fat, it seemed inexcusable to be eating a candy bar, so I wouldn't eat it in front of others.

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Old 05-02-2013, 08:51 PM   #7
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LOL I tried. NO PHD for this gal


I love Yennie's response. If you eat a candy bar in front of others and continue to drop sizes and look great....they gotta be scratching their heads wondering
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:38 AM   #8
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I get it. I don't often eat fast food but when I do, I hide the bag. And on those days I give in to my terrible sweet tooth and buy a slice of cake or anything else at the bakery, I am ashamed going through the check out line. Its crazy!!!

One thing about JUDDD (that I've posted on the NSV thread) is even when I do give in to those occasional cravings, I have found that I have them far less than I ever did before. Or even when I do have the craving, I somehow find a way to decide to have a healthier option instead (for example: instead of going to a drive-thru, I will buy ground beef or turkey and a roll and make my own burger). I am continuously surprised at the control I have found with this WOE.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:23 AM   #9
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My youngest daughter will go to school this fall so there will be a 3 hour period during the day that I'll be alone. I keep thinking about everything I could eat during that time and nobody would know. I would much rather eat without anybody seeing what, how much. I try to set an example in front of my kids. unless my husband is also eating a treat I'm embarrassed to eat anything 'unhealthy' in front of him. The shame. This is months away and I think about it almost every day! So I know it's probably not the same thing you are describing but more of a binge plan. I am thinking of other things I'll try to do during that time.
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Old 05-03-2013, 06:15 AM   #10
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I know what you mean Library Girl.

I usually feel like everyone is thinking "She's fat, why is she eating that thing?" but that's what I'M thinking about myself. I've been in the habit of thinking I have to be punished and suffer because I'm "fat" and it's "bad" and I don't "deserve" it. I used to/sometimes feel like I should wait til I'm thin to have treats, buy nice clothes etc....until I earn it or deserve it. But actually I think it's just the opposite. If I treat myself well, it shapes the rest of my behavior. If I want a piece of cake and I decide it's worth it, I eat it, enjoy it and move on.

But that's why this is such a great way of eating because you can gradually break this habit of thinking by having whatever fits into your UD calories AND continuing to lose weight.
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Old 05-03-2013, 06:47 AM   #11
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Lots of good input here. What this is speaking to is how do we deal with the fat girl who is still in our head? It isn't simply a matter of getting the weight off...it's a complete retraining of our minds, too.

Judgement is all around us. We do it to ourselves and we do it to others. I am currently reflecting on my own judgemental behavior in the grocery store two days ago. The lady in the checkout in front of me was in a scooter. She most likely weighed 400 lbs or close to it. She was well groomed and had lovely jewelry on. I found myself thinking..."Why is she getting those ice cream bars? Why this...why that?" Then I found myself feeling profoundly sorry for her. She had gotten so large she couldn't use a cart to get her groceries. Then I ended up getting annoyed because it took her so long to get her stuff out and then write a check. Boy, someone shoulda knocked some sense into me!

Shame and guilt. Things that we all need to find a way to dispel. I love Maddiemod's discussions about "deserving". We DO deserve to take care of ourselves and enjoy life as we are always going to be a work in progress anyway in some way. It's all part of our unique and wonderful journey.

Thanks for sharing ours together, JUDDD BUDDDs! Love you all!!!

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Old 05-03-2013, 07:13 AM   #12
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Yeah, that's it maddie. I feel like people see me eating something obviously fattening and think I've given up. It's very liberating to be able to eat those "forbidden" foods and still be on a diet!

JB, I do get it, but I am not really a secret eater. I might be a secret drinker. Haha, no but I don't always like to drink in front of people because I may say something I regret. As for eating treats or snacks in front of my bf--if I hide, it's only because I'm worried he might find out we have treats and eat them all!
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Old 05-03-2013, 07:17 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Kimmietoo View Post
Then I found myself feeling profoundly sorry for her. She had gotten so large she couldn't use a cart to get her groceries.

Kimmie
I hope this doesn't come across as picking on you, that's not my intention at all, but you don't know that's why she was using the handicap cart.
Heavy or thin, people still have disabilities, so please don't think "she's fat so she has to use the cart" because that may not be the case at all.
Myself, I have nerve damage and it causes me to have bad days where I can't handle the walk but I still need to, or just want to, shop.
It doesn't matter if I was at my highest weight or now, the damage is there.
When I was heavier people used to give me that "fat isn't a disability" look/sneer, and my weight had nothing to do with it.
Of course now I get the "well you're just lazy" look which is equally insulting because not every disability is evident.
Just saying please don't automatically judge someone because you just don't know what their physical limitation may be.
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Old 05-03-2013, 07:25 AM   #14
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Oh, I don't consider it picking on me at all. I was sharing my disdain at my own judgemental self. Not appropriate, not kind, not caring, not fair and not my business. I am humiliated by my own judgemental thoughts.... that was the point that I was trying to make.

Of course many disabilities are not evident and absolutely she could have had any number of other things going on. It wasn't my place to have any judgement about any of it. Shame on me.

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Old 05-03-2013, 07:29 AM   #15
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Sorry, sore subject for me because so many people give me the "you don't look disabled" look and they have no idea what I go through.
I was waiting in my car, had called the service desk to have a cart brought to me(really bad day)and this woman parked next to me, got out, sneered at me and told me I should be ashamed to park in the handicap spot, then she saw the guy bringing me the cart. Instead of apologizing, she huffed off. So yeah. Sore spot lol
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Old 05-03-2013, 07:36 AM   #16
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Of course now I get the "well you're just lazy" look which is equally insulting because not every disability is evident.
Sorry if this is hijacking the thread & taking it in a different direction... But I so get this now...

I had hip surgery at age 40, when I was healthy and in good shape and still young looking. While I used crutches at first, I was still unable to walk through the grocery store for any length of time without help well after I put the crutches away, so I had to use those scooters. Boy, did I get some looks! Especially when I would get up out of the scotter, walk across the aisle and reach for something on a higher shelf. If I can do all of that, WTH am I using the scooter for, right? Sometimes I would take my crutches and stow them on the cart, just so they could be seen. Perception is a big factor in our daily judgements of others - and we ALL do it. And we all make mistakes in judgement when we don't have all the information needed to make a correct one.

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I can totally see how this pertains to hiding food too. Especially if people know that we are 'dieting.' People will sometimes make a big deal out of what appears to be a cheat, thinking they are trying to help.

Another issue for me is that I don't want people to see me eating a lot, or junk, on an UD... and assume that whatever it is must be OK for "whatever it is that I'm doing" and offer it to me on a DD and be offended when I decline.
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Old 05-03-2013, 08:08 AM   #17
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Sorry, sore subject for me because so many people give me the "you don't look disabled" look and they have no idea what I go through.
I was waiting in my car, had called the service desk to have a cart brought to me(really bad day)and this woman parked next to me, got out, sneered at me and told me I should be ashamed to park in the handicap spot, then she saw the guy bringing me the cart. Instead of apologizing, she huffed off. So yeah. Sore spot lol
End of thread jack
That is so wrong! That makes me very upset!!!!!!!!!!!
This is not at all the same, but one time my DH and I were walking out of a store in the parking lot to our car, and this guy was yelling at us that we shouldn't have parked in handicap. HUH???? He thought we were walking toward a car in a spot he wanted, we walked PAST it. It was so rude. People just do not know. Constantly speaking before thinking!

That makes me sad for you! Mean people, really what is the point??
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Old 05-03-2013, 08:10 AM   #18
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Nah, I like it when people see when I eat junk. Especially since most don't know how I'm losing my weight. I like the little thought bubble you can see over their heads... "How is she losing weight eating THAT?!?!?"
LOL I love this. People are going to start envying you! Like "No fair!" haha

I guess I don't mind being seen as eating "normally" on UD (even though most do not know it is a UD for me, my DH hasn't even figured this out yet). And on DD, I try to play it off as I just don't feel like eating that, thanks but no thanks. Sometimes certain people seem to get annoyed but really, that is so silly, it doesn't bother me. I could care less what someone else eats.
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Old 05-03-2013, 10:06 AM   #19
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I feel ashamed whenever I buy LC treats (which isn't very often because I have major control issues with them) and sit down to eat them in front of DH, I always feel guilty, like he's going to lecture me ("you know what that stuff does to you"). I feel envious at him because he can scoop out a bowl of ice cream, take forever to eat it, and be done with it, while I am sitting there with my self control issuess eating the entire quart of LC ice cream. I get annoyed because he feels like he has to follow me EVERYWHERE, even down the aisles at the grocery store. I know he's not checking up on me, but sometimes I feel like it. So I have taken to going to buy any treats I want when he is at work. Food has just ALWAYS been a sensitive subject to me, whether I was "dieting" or not.

Back when I was in HS, I actually used to tell myself it was ok to eat junk because "if no one sees me eat it, the calories don't count"
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Old 05-03-2013, 10:09 AM   #20
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I actually relish doing the opposite. my friends and family see me eating like a pig, and yet i'm super good at home. i've had people tell me that they envy my 'fast metabolism', which couldn't be farther from the truth. i've tried to tell them that it's easier to be good away from friends, but i suspect they don't believe me. lol
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Old 05-03-2013, 11:02 AM   #21
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great thread. I am enjoying all these posts!!!
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Old 05-03-2013, 11:31 AM   #22
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I have done my share of hiding food. There was a period of time (a month or so) when I got so hooked on flavored Circle K coffee that I would stop every morning and get a large Toffee Coffee or Dulce de Leche or some such flavor. Of course, I didn't hide that - for all people at work knew it was a large black coffee! But my guilty pleasure/downfall were the vanilla zingers I also bought and ate on the sly. Talk about a major morning sugar rush.

Now I don't hide food at all, but I know that instinct well. I do know the feeling of being the fat girl eating stuff she shouldn't, and the judgement that comes along with that.
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Old 05-03-2013, 11:41 AM   #23
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Well sadly I still have binges and hide food. Been doing JUDDD with Dukan but decided last week I would just give JUDDD a try again eating what I want. Well to say last Saturday my UD was an UUAD would be putting it mildly. Went to the grocery store for a few bits but ended up buying all the things I had been missing.

My husband was in awe but sadly he didn't know about all the things I hid from him and ate that he didn't even see. Don't think he would have believed it!!
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Old 05-03-2013, 11:55 AM   #24
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Well sadly I still have binges and hide food. Been doing JUDDD with Dukan but decided last week I would just give JUDDD a try again eating what I want. Well to say last Saturday my UD was an UUAD would be putting it mildly. Went to the grocery store for a few bits but ended up buying all the things I had been missing.

My husband was in awe but sadly he didn't know about all the things I hid from him and ate that he didn't even see. Don't think he would have believed it!!
WJS, I just posted this in the May Daily Chat thread, but thought you might find it useful...Yesterday, I sat down and read Brain Over Binge on my Kindle. This book was recommended by a couple of folks in the LCF forum. They said it is a life-changer and like them, I could not put it down (read the whole book in one sitting). It is early to say, but this book could very well change my life. I am simply amazed at the power of the author's approach. It's so simple and makes so much sense.
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Old 05-03-2013, 11:57 AM   #25
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Four nights ago, on my DD, I felt lonely after my husband left for his pottery class. Instead of reaching for the phone to talk to a friend, I reached for a candy bar. It's the same candy bar that I had paid no attention to for several weeks - it sat in my fridge, and I had barely nibbled on it during my up days.

But that night, I felt sad, and I tore into that candy bar and devoured it. I felt so ashamed for ruining my fast day, that I hid the wrapper in my drawer, rather than risking having my husband see it in the trash.

Although he is on JUDDD too, he is very understanding. There was no need to hide the candy wrapper from him.

I think I felt sad because of a "shameful" event that happened to me in Walmart earlier that day. Because I've lost weight, my pants are quite baggy, and I kept hitting the plastic price markers on the bottom shelves with the cuff of my pants. I kept knocking them down to the floor.

I am quite short, and I have a large "apron" of fat and skin that hangs down from my belly. When I bent low to pick up the price markers from the floor, I noticed a lady staring at my lower abdomen with a complete look of revulsion. I was so humiliated.

That set the tone for the day. That sense of shame morphed into a candy bar binge later that day when I was alone and could eat without anyone seeing me.

A decade ago I lost 185 lbs through gastric bypass. I worked hard to lose the weight, through surgery, exercise, and by eating healthy after the surgery. But although I lost an "entire person" through WLS - I still could not lose my sense of "shame" -- or my sense of being a fat person. I would walk through turnstiles sideways, completely astonished that I fit with ease. I would try on clothes several sizes too big for me, unable to wrap my head around the smaller sizes. What do they call it? Body dysmorphia?

I know that it will take me years, if not a lifetime, to try to erase the guilt and "shame" I feel for not fitting into what society says is "normal, thin or attractive."

Since my surgery I gained 10 lbs a year for a gain of 100 pounds. Now I'm on JUDDD.

The good news is that because of JUDDD, for the first time in four years the scale has gone down. No matter what l.c. (keto) diet I would try, my scale would not budge a pound. Since JUDDD I have new hope. I live relatively crave free, both on up days and down days.

When before I felt, ill, old and immobile, now I feel energetic, healthy and more open to the idea of "forgiving" and loving myself, no matter where I am in my quest to reach a new healthier weight.
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:10 PM   #26
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I don't buy sweet stuff when I'm shopping, because if it's available, I'll eat it - and if it isn't, I'm not even bothered.
I'd eat digestive biscuits, just because they were there, all the while asking myself why I was eating them because I don't even like them!
There did feel to be an element of sneakiness about it. Guilty self-sabotage stuff maybe? Ultimately solved that one by telling DH that if he bought rubbish biscuits (ie naff cookies) I'd put them straight in the bin! At least if I'm going to have a biscuitfest I should enjoy it!
Bless him he doesn't like waste so he doesn't buy many biscuits nowadays!


Out for UD lunch today, with friends I haven't seen for several weeks. Lots of nice comments on how I've lost a lot of weight. I took ages choosing my meal - I wanted a salad and I'm sure they were thinking it was for weight loss. However, I also asked if I could have an extra bread roll and butter and then I had a piece of cake for dessert while my low-calorie-dieting friend (who knows about JUDDD) had to go without. Felt good! Unfortunately the cake was a disappointment. Wish I'd saved the calories for some chocolate tonight!! Oh well, I'll have a glass of wine instead.


I so get the disabled thing. Imagine the looks when I got out of the wheelchair to negotiate a flight of steps. People just don't understand!
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:13 PM   #27
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I understand where you're coming from. I'm so used to dieting and denying myself... with no results over the past 3 months. I've only been on JUDDD for less than a week and I'm already seeing results. It's weird to be able to eat what I want. I'm on my up day today and I'm excited, but I'm wary at the same time and feeling a little guilty... "Is this okay? Can I do this? Am I going to gain back what I already lost?"

My co-workers have witnessed me gaining weight this year and they're used to seeing me struggle with all these diets, eating sprouts and salads, drinking all this water and only eating fresh fruit. What are they going to think when I stroll in with a big burger or a candy bar "Wow, Looks like she totally fell off the wagon, eh?" "What are you eating there, Daisy?" one of my co-workers is the king of nonverbal judgment. The raised eyebrows and the up/down your body look. I kind of feel the need to hide it too, at least until I fit into my pants again. Everyone is kind of in eachother's business at my job. Even if they're not judging me, I feel like they are. It's probably silly, but I just want you to know that I do relate.
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:18 PM   #28
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thanks for sharing your story. It moved me.

the roadblocks in our lives are unreal sometimes. I understand your story. I have the body image problem also when I lose. I just can't but shake my head at the whole situation I deal with.
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:20 PM   #29
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WJS sorry, we posted at the same time. I do hope JUDDD helps you to solve your binge issues. I don't know why or how JUDDD has helped me but I've been able to keep reminding myself that I want to lose weight and put down the unnecessary snack I was about to indulge in.

L/Cyn I know the candy bar compensation thing - and if it's there, the same applies as with the cookies! I'm so glad you're finding a new happier way to be with yourself through JUDDD.
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:23 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Never Too Late View Post
Four nights ago, on my DD, I felt lonely after my husband left for his pottery class. Instead of reaching for the phone to talk to a friend, I reached for a candy bar. It's the same candy bar that I had paid no attention to for several weeks - it sat in my fridge, and I had barely nibbled on it during my up days.

But that night, I felt sad, and I tore into that candy bar and devoured it. I felt so ashamed for ruining my fast day, that I hid the wrapper in my drawer, rather than risking having my husband see it in the trash.

Although he is on JUDDD too, he is very understanding. There was no need to hide the candy wrapper from him.

I think I felt sad because of a "shameful" event that happened to me in Walmart earlier that day. Because I've lost weight, my pants are quite baggy, and I kept hitting the plastic price markers on the bottom shelves with the cuff of my pants. I kept knocking them down to the floor.

I am quite short, and I have a large "apron" of fat and skin that hangs down from my belly. When I bent low to pick up the price markers from the floor, I noticed a lady staring at my lower abdomen with a complete look of revulsion. I was so humiliated.

That set the tone for the day. That sense of shame morphed into a candy bar binge later that day when I was alone and could eat without anyone seeing me.

A decade ago I lost 185 lbs through gastric bypass. I worked hard to lose the weight, through surgery, exercise, and by eating healthy after the surgery. But although I lost an "entire person" through WLS - I still could not lose my sense of "shame" -- or my sense of being a fat person. I would walk through turnstiles sideways, completely astonished that I fit with ease. I would try on clothes several sizes too big for me, unable to wrap my head around the smaller sizes. What do they call it? Body dysmorphia?

I know that it will take me years, if not a lifetime, to try to erase the guilt and "shame" I feel for not fitting into what society says is "normal, thin or attractive."

Since my surgery I gained 10 lbs a year for a gain of 100 pounds. Now I'm on JUDDD.

The good news is that because of JUDDD, for the first time in four years the scale has gone down. No matter what l.c. (keto) diet I would try, my scale would not budge a pound. Since JUDDD I have new hope. I live relatively crave free, both on up days and down days.

When before I felt, ill, old and immobile, now I feel energetic, healthy and more open to the idea of "forgiving" and loving myself, no matter where I am in my quest to reach a new healthier weight.
NTL, your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your struggles, and the optimism you have with JUDDD. I believe it will be exactly what you have been looking for, and something you (we) can do for a lifetime!!!
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