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Old 03-14-2013, 07:13 PM   #1
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Hello.....again!

I typed this once, and it is floating around in cyber-land, so here goes again!

I last posted the end of August, I believe. I had just taken a new job as a checker at a small grocery, and really liked the job. But, my mom, who was 95 and suffered from dementia, had quit eating. So, I quit my job, and from October till the day after Christmas, I would go to the Assisted Living home where she lived, 7 days a week, 3 meals a day, to try to get her to eat more. The day after Christmas, we had to put her in the hospital, and from there to Hospice, where she passed away on Jan. 12.

Needless to say, I have been riddled with guilt, that maybe I didn't do enough, or soon enough, and I have been eating like it's my last day! Nothing was off the menu, and large quantities. I gained from 210 in August to 243.4 this past Sunday, when I decided that enough is enough, and started with a DD on JUDDD. This morning I weighed in at 240.8 after an UD. One of the sad things in all this, is my mom was so proud of me for losing the weight before, and I was feeling like I was letting her down again. Also, now I have to re-lose what I had lost once. But, I'm already feeling better physically.

Anyway, I'm back!

Congratulations to all the JUDDD BUDDDS that have stuck to the program, lost or even gotten to maintenance!

Carole
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Old 03-14-2013, 07:28 PM   #2
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WOE: start JUDDD 01/24/13 at 310
Start Date: July 2009
My dear Carole, welcome back to the JB's. I am recently new here, starting in January. We are very glad that you are back!! I'm so very sorry for your loss; no doubt it was a great comfort to your Mom to have you there caring for her, every day. Know that JUDDD is forgiving, and be thankful that you still maintained a sizeable loss from your start weight with all of the stress and pain you were dealing with. I can just about bet that your mom is delighted to see you rejoin us. It's so supportive and helpful here; you can't help but succeed and have fun to boot! Bless you, and may you heal from your loss. There is nothing quite like our moms. I was only 29 when I lost mine, and I think of her nearly every day at twice that age! You are a lucky girl to have had yours for so long. HUG HUG HUG!

Kimmie
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Old 03-14-2013, 07:50 PM   #3
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Hi Carole, and welcome back. I am sorry about losing your mother. What a wonderful thing you did by quitting your job to make sure she was eating her meals. I am sorry about your grief. I'm glad you found your way back here. I have been here since January, welcome back

Kimmie

Last edited by hot-in-texas; 03-14-2013 at 07:51 PM..
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Old 03-14-2013, 08:54 PM   #4
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Hi Carole,..I'm glad you decided to come back here...this is the best place you could come to for support...I've never seen so many kind and caring people all in one place..I'm sorry about your loss...I know it's very hard..I lost my mom , and she was 94...I had guilt, but after I thought it all thru, I know that mom would never want me to feel that way..and I believe your mom wouldn't want that either...I bet she would say you were the best daughter she could have ever asked for..one other thing..usually when an older person stops eating, it is because their body is shutting down, and there's not really anything you can do about it..I owned and operated my own ALF for about ten years, and I did see it happen that way a lot..Your mom would want you to take care of yourself..and welcome back..
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Old 03-14-2013, 10:15 PM   #5
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Carole, welcome back to your JUDDD family! I'm so sorry you had such a stressful and worrying time with your mom, and your loss of her. I know how proud she would be of you for getting back into control and doing this for your health. You were such a dedicated daughter and caretaker for her, and now it's time to focus on you!
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Old 03-15-2013, 02:26 AM   #6
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Start Date: JUDDD - 1/1/12 + intermittent LCHF
Carole!

I know family deaths probably cause a special strain for you - you lost your DH unexpectedly and young, didn't you? For me, every new loss brings all of the old pain back.

You did the best you could - second guessing now is just a source of frustration - you really did the best you could. But it was time and nothing you could do would have changed that.

It sounds like you are beginning to move forward. I am glad. As you say, your Mother wanted to see you healthy and happy. Moving towards those goals is something each of us can only do for ourselves...but working towards them is a great way to honor those we love.

Welcome back!
__________________
- Nancy
GOAL 10/3/12
Still at goal 2/6/13
STILL below goal 2/15/14

I did not "lose" weight. I evicted it. It is gone and it ain't coming back!

JUDDD cares about calories. JUDDD does not care what you eat. Your body probably does.
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Old 03-15-2013, 03:34 AM   #7
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welcome back Carole! I'm sorry for your loss, but I know you'll do great with juddd again!
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Old 03-15-2013, 04:47 AM   #8
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Welcome back
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Old 03-15-2013, 05:04 AM   #9
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Welcome back to the fold. I am so sorry about you losing your Mother. I know first hand how painful that can be regardless of your age.

As you are moving forward, coming back to JUDDD and taking control of your life is a good thing and we are here to support you in your weightloss journey. I have wondered what happened to you. And maybe you can get your job back or another one to have something else to do during the day.
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Old 03-15-2013, 05:26 AM   #10
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I am so sorry for your loss. No looking back now. You are here and will only move downward from this point on!
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Old 03-15-2013, 05:31 AM   #11
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Dearest Carole, I have wondered what happened to you, you were so happy finding the job. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jaymar View Post
Hi Carole,..I'm glad you decided to come back here...this is the best place you could come to for support...I've never seen so many kind and caring people all in one place..I'm sorry about your loss...I know it's very hard..I lost my mom , and she was 94...I had guilt, but after I thought it all thru, I know that mom would never want me to feel that way..and I believe your mom wouldn't want that either...I bet she would say you were the best daughter she could have ever asked for..one other thing..usually when an older person stops eating, it is because their body is shutting down, and there's not really anything you can do about it..I owned and operated my own ALF for about ten years, and I did see it happen that way a lot..Your mom would want you to take care of yourself..and welcome back..
Thank you for pointing this out jaymar. It is so true. We helplessly watched my Father in Law at 95 doing this last year and it is heartbreaking, but it is what it is. Someone put it this way, losing a parent in the their 90s is sad, but not a tragedy.

It is great that you are back JUDDDing and we are all here to encourage you. Your mother would be so happy to see you moving forward and taking responsibility for your health once more.
__________________
Cindy

Embrace a little hunger. It is the sign of healing.

Relax, rotate, reduce, rejoice.

Down Days are the cement that hold JUDDD together.
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Old 03-15-2013, 05:38 AM   #12
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Carole, I'm glad to see you back, and so sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-15-2013, 06:02 AM   #13
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So sorry for your loss Carole. Welcome back! While I wasn't on this site before-this is my second go around with JUDDD too! We can do this!
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Old 03-15-2013, 06:46 AM   #14
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Sorry about your mom...I can so relate to all you went thru and the guilt that always seems to creep in I'm glad you are back and I know your gonna do great!
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Old 03-15-2013, 07:47 AM   #15
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Start Date: Feb 8, 2010 IF ON 8-14-11
Thank you all so much for the "welcome backs"....they mean so much, and truly do make me feel welcome! Such good advice that I have to move on with my life, and to honor my mom by getting back on the "healthy track". It was such a joy to share the time with mom, even though it was also stressful. She had such a good sense of humor, and everyone at the ALF loved her. Hospice gave us a book about what to expect at the end of life, and mom went right down the list of things that would happen...and yes, not eating was one of the very first on the list.

I'm so glad to be back among the BUDDS (old and new, alike). I know this is what I need to get back in the swing of JUDDD, and begin to realize all the many benefits of this program, not just weight loss!

Giving all of you a "group hug", and have a wonderful day!

Carole
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Old 03-15-2013, 08:18 AM   #16
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So glad you are back. I just started juddding again. We can do this!
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Old 03-15-2013, 12:25 PM   #17
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Welcome back, Carole! So very sorry for the loss of your mother.
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Old 03-16-2013, 02:29 PM   #18
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I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. I miss my mom so much still. Don't feel guilty - you were a good daughter and she knows this. I believe our loved ones are with us still.
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Old 03-16-2013, 02:44 PM   #19
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It's obvious that you are a caring and loving person, it takes a special kind of person to quit their job to take care of someone else! Now take all that love and give it to the person who needs it the most right now. Yourself! I'm sure that is what your mother would do right now if she were here.
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:13 PM   #20
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So sorry for your loss. We're all glad that you are focusing on your health and your JBs will be here to cheer you on as you conquer this challenge in honor of your Mom.
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