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Old 02-20-2013, 09:59 PM   #31
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I'm sorry to hear your struggles today

(((HUGS))) to you.

This is one of the reasons I own my own business. If I have an @$$hat for a boss, I can only blame myself for I am she. I work really hard to be good to my employees and to let each of them know how very valuable they are to the work and to me personally. I've had enough bad bosses to last a lifetime, I sure don't want to be one.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:14 PM   #32
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LG, sorry you've had to deal with all this Good for you to get it all out and process it emotionally. We love you here and hope you feel better tomorrow
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Old 02-21-2013, 04:23 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kismet311 View Post
I have gone through a simliar situtation and honestly I could not work there anymore due to my boss's attitude towards me. I finally got the courage to change jobs and after a whole year I am sooo much happier. I know it might not be possible for you to leave your current job to find another one but just remember that someday this boss of yours might not have a say (hey, she might get the boot since she's such a party pooper LOL) and you will get your dream job! If I can do it anyone can!
I would have to move out of my field in order to get a different job. Plus, I'd have to leave a very secure state job, and benefits and retirement of 24 years. It seems rather silly to take a chance like that, so I just suck it up and go on. I wish I had the guts to just say the hell with it and look for a completely different line of work, but I am too chicken. I love what I do for the most part, but I do have a lot of "fatigue" of being kind of "stuck" for so long...An outside project, unrelated to work, might be something that would help me.
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:09 AM   #34
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I understand
Do you think eventually you will be able to talk to this boss and try to be frank with her and ask something like, "what do I have to do in order to get xxxx job someday"? Like, besides your qualifications that you already have what do you have to do to prove to her you are the best person. She should be able to see how willing you are to do what it takes to advance your career and if she's any type of decent boss (or even decent person for that matter) she will hear you out. It might not be possible right now but in the future hopefully you will get to that place *HUGS*
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:40 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shari4 View Post
Oh, Cindy!! It always seems to me that politics is in play no matter where you work! I hate that you are so miserable today. And I hope by this time, you are feeling better!!

Don't let these other people rent space in your head! They don't pay rent & you deserve so much more. I hope after a good nights rest, you awake refreshed & raring to go!!
Excellent advice! Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head. Let it go & be free!
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:40 AM   #36
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I agree with Kismet, Cindy. Only you can be the judge of this, but a fresh start with your existing job may be just the thing. If you can talk to your boss, or the dean, or whoever would be the best choice, and let them know what was going on with you for awhile. Tell them you've resolved these personal issues and are re-dedicated to your career and want very much to move up to higher positions and more responsibility.

I had a situation several years ago, where a woman I had worked with for many years became my boss. She and I got along sporadically, but had had some conflicts. I made up my mind to go to her, be open and frank and let her know I wanted to move up, and I was prepared to try to help her make her new job a success by supporting her any way I could. Now, I'm not saying it was all sunshine and flowers, but she appreciated my gesture (and I really did mean it), and took me up on letting me do some projects she didn't have time for. I did get promoted and more respect from her and the organization. What I'm saying is, people may be more open to gestures like this than you think they will be.

It does sound like you have a good job with security, and that is nothing to throw away in this economy. I hope you can reshape it to your liking. Hang in there - we're all behind you 100%.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:03 AM   #37
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Hope your day is going better today LG
I think you have gotten some great advice here, and wanted to j ust add, I hope you believe that you deserve something better. You aren't defined by your past. None of us are-if we were, well, we would all be in trouble. Maybe now is not the right time, to try to make positive goal changes within your job, but if you haven't yet-start believing that you deserve it. You are not damaged goods, just because you went through a rough patch, and did not make your job your top priority. You were protecting yourself during a hard time. So now, start focusing on yourelf, and what a wonderful, caring, smart, intelligent and educated person you are
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:45 AM   #38
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And - warning, another piece of unsolicited advice coming -- if you can't find satisfaction on the job but don't find a way out of the situation then find satisfaction elsewhere. Volunteering is a great way to expand your world, do some good, put your skills to good use and show your work place how valuable you really are. I bet there are boards and organizations that would just kill to have you select them.
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:51 AM   #39
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Actually joining boards and committees is not a bad idea.

I believe that is what helped my friend who took my old job. She joined several university committees and became the "Queen" of all things political in the University. The only problem with it, is that she was gone from the office a majority of the time volunteering. I could see how this could end up pointing you to other opportunities within your school.
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