Couple things IF/JUDDD have changed in me

[b_lou_who]

I've been self evaluating again..
I found juddd just a year ago. I have lost some weight and kept it off in spite of real life, health challenges, and just plain old overcoming "me".
My weight stayed steady through the holiday season, at the high end of my bounce, but I was still maintaining not gaining. Was not in weight loss mode, obviously my body wanted to stay the same and I was in too much stress to add any about my weight.
Got the plague right about the first of the year and was seriously ill for a solid month (as did so many of you..what a mess). Living on fructose (tea with honey, juice, and toast) and being completely inactive spiked my weight ten whole pounds. Pounds I fought to lose and had kept off. However, even in that situation I discovered what appears to be a permanent mental change.
I still think in terms of up days and down days. I may have thirty up days in a row, but I recognize them for what they are. I have complete freedom in my own mind to do that and to switch to a down day at any time.
Once wellness seemed to be back in my purview I started back in with a nice healthy down day. Easy peasy. Been following rotations with no issues at all. Been going to nice long bliss yoga classes a few days a week, daily practice at home. LOVE it! I now know I'm not afraid of exercise on up OR down days. My health is what is crucial here. A woman in her mid-forties needs to realize it takes a bit of work to get emotionally, physically, and mentally healthy. My soul matters in this process of getting weight off and growing healthy enough inside to maintain the outside. I'v lost half of the weight spike in less than two weeks, and that is after an up day.
Had a serious emotional crisis this weekend. And I DIDN'T feed it food.
I lay on the floor of my yoga room and sobbed uncontrollably for hours, but I didn't even have an urge to feed. My husband offered me comfort food to console me and it wasn't even work to refuse it. (He wasn't trying to sabotage me, I think he was just desperate. He does three down days a week and is completely supportive.) Not only is that a totally new freedom, but I could see it and respect it.
If I found this board, read "Up Day Down Day Diet", and embraced the philosophy for nothing else I can say I have a pretty healthy relationship with food that never existed in my life before, I don't have to feed emotional trauma, and I genuinely own intermittent fasting for my health.
Grateful for all of you sharing the journey in this one.
And thanks for letting me write novellas here when I get contemplative!
Big hugs blou

[sorenkkg]

Blou!!!

I love this, love that you had this a-ha, and I feel very similarly. Doing JUDDD has taught me so much, a lot of things I thought were impossible, are now totally possible.

And I'm also learning (usually able, sometimes I slip) that I don't have to (or want to) feed the emotional traumas. (don't feed the trauma-- it might grow?)

Yay you!!!

S.

[vanilla_latte]

for personal revelations that JUDDD brings!

I can say I think I'd notice more if I didn't need to lose so much weight! But, I am seeing more emotional progress with this JUDDD journey. Mainly, that DDs aren't nearly as long as they used to be, hunger isn't an emergency, and sometimes eating enough food on an UD can be as challenging as a DD can sometimes be.

I tend to write novellas, too, so just go with it, sister!

[KeirasMom]

You are a true inspiration. I hope things are going much better this week.

[hot-in-texas]

I think that is great Blou! So important to learn these things for long term healthiness. I am starting to feel these things too, and can identify with you. You are so wise, and thank you for the novellas.

[sunday]

Thank you for saying what JUDDD has done.

It is truly amazing to see how we have engraved this way of living in our minds. Mentally, I know that I can have more food, but it is so natural to want to restrict eod. It just happens like an internal alarm clock. I hope you are feeling better and it sounds like you have one magnificent DH!

[Librarygirl]

Very nice post. Thank you for sharing with us, blou.

[Sammyann]

blou. You are inspiring.

[stephdray]

First of all, let me say that I'm sorry you had to go through any sort of emotional crisis, but wow, you have done a great job dealing with it.

Secondly, let me say that I can totally relate to what you're saying here.

I had a weekend home that knocked me off my rotations. I tried to do a Down Day on the journey home and I mostly did one, but I don't trust restaurant calorie counts and it was on the high side for me. I didn't like what the scale told me this morning, and so I thought, "I think I'll just count yesterday as a medium day and do another Down Day today and see if it's doable."

Knock on wood, it's 7:30pm and it's actually been my easiest down day in a long time. But the sense of awareness in my brain was totally different than it usually is when I get even slightly derailed. I gave myself permission to do what I needed to do this weekend, with the full understanding that I would adjust the schedule when I got home and I did. That would never happen on any other plan but JUDDD.

[Luv2Eat]

aww, Blou, sorry you had an emotional crisis.
I hope things turn around for you this month. Love to read about your weight loss/food relationships success

[Luna Loca]

B_lou I'm sorry for whatever it was that had you on the floor sobbing. My heart goes out to you.

Thank you for sharing your story. You sound like you are doing well, despite life and illness and all the other things that come up. You sound centered, and calm. That yoga practice must be doing you a lot of good. I'm so glad.

Thank you for letting us know how you are. you.

[b_lou_who]

You are absolutely the loveliest, most encouraging women ever!
None of us make it through life unscathed.
It is fabulous to have these life changing tools to respond with better health.
I'm working toward getting certified to teach the yoga I've fallen in love with. That is quite an incentive. Giving away what I have received gives me joy.
keep up the good living ladies!

[TryingJudd]

So glad you found the tools to enhance your life and that JUDDD can be one of those tools for all of us!

[Yennie]

I'm sorry for your emotional crisis, I hope you're feeling on the upswing soon.
Thank you, though, for sharing your story. I agree that JUDDD is amazingly forgiving - sometimes I forget though.
You're not sunk with a day, a weekend or even a month of UDs.
Please take care of yourself.
Namaste

[Carly]

Blou
I can relate to the feeling of freedom from food and that food isn't the answer unless I am actually, truly hungry. Food won't end stress, solve problems or take away pain. JUDDD has taught me this!

[sorenkkg]

Originally Posted by Carly

Blou
I can relate to the feeling of freedom from food and that food isn't the answer unless I am actually, truly hungry. Food won't end stress, solve problems or take away pain. JUDDD has taught me this!

Yes!!! Exactly. It's amazing!

Blou- what type of yoga do you do?
S.

[Kissa]

B Lou, thank you for this revealing post. I am so sorry you have had such an emotional roller coaster lately.

It is amazing how many of us have discover the JUDDD peace. Accepting that we are not perfect but that the rotations are still there, waiting for us when we are able to handle them.

I am so thrilled to read that you are hoping to teach Yoga, what a great opportunity and something that you love which has helped you physically and emotionally too.

[LoCarbGal]

B Lou - it sounds like JUDDD has had a positive influence on your life. I'm so sorry for your crisis and that you were feeling so bad. But I'm glad you have a supportive DH and you were able to deal well with food issues. Thanks so much for sharing.

I'm curious too about the kind of yoga you do and are learning to teach. Do I remember it being called Bliss Yoga? I'm really curious.

[Flutter]

Aww, it's so wonderful that you've dealt with the icky plague, plus stressors and noted such a big mental change in yourself. How awesome! (and how cool that your DH is on plan with you, really neat!) I hope to be able to say these kinds of things at some point myself. It's quite a gift to yourself to change your relationship with food & how you cope with the world around you. Just fantastic!!!!!

[Shari4]

B lou, your courage is shining thru your words!! Thanks for sharing your ups & downs & the in between! Sometimes, life can be a real witch!! But, if we use the tools we're learning thru JUDDD.......it's amazing how they work in our lives. You give me hope for another good DD tomorrow! And to finish this UD where I need to be! Hang in there & keep sharing!! I am happy you are one of our JB's!