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-   -   A Difficult Time (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/juddd/796872-difficult-time.html)

Majella 02-11-2013 07:46 AM

A Difficult Time
 
Hi guys

I've been gone for months and I've missed this place a lot. Life has been very difficult. I reached a complete low in October and felt hopeless. I took a paracetamol overdose. I spent 2 horrible nights in hospital one of them on a trolley, the whole thing was really awful. My mother in law came over to help and I was so embarrassed. The house was a mess, unopened post and unpaid bills. I was working in my shop 6 days a week and my business was failing. I was tired all the time, i even ended up setting 2 alarms in the morning, one to wake me to take a caffeine pill and the other an hour later to wake me up. It was all too much and I cried almost every night. I told my husband every night I couldn't cope anymore but not no help. Anyway we are closing the shop in a few weeks and that's the end of that chapter. One of the things that really hurt was my mother in-law's advice to my husband. She told him that maybe I was manipulating him and getting him to do everything for me as psychiatric patients can do. It hurt because I respected her and trusted her and I confided in her but maybe I told her too much. I've been sick with kidneys infections and I've been getting worse. Now the doc thinks there may be something wrong with one of my kidneys because the tests show no infection but the tests are not coming back as they should.

I'm sorry I'm going on so much. I've put on weight but I'm too scared to weigh myself. I'm trying to get back on track but it's not easy. I'm going to go gluten free for a while because it helped me before and I gained some energy. Well that's all for now, I'm back because I need support in losing this dam weight for once and for all!

ouizoid 02-11-2013 07:49 AM

Majella--I am so sorry you have been suffering. We are here for you--If there is any way for you to be getting some one on one therapy, it would be very helpful to you. You should not be alone and without support. I think gluten free will strengthen both your body and your mind. Post often. Warm thoughts to you--

KeirasMom 02-11-2013 07:50 AM

:console: I know things were going poorly there for a while, but didn't realize they continued to get worse. I'm so sorry. Perhaps it's time for a medication adjustment?

adillenal 02-11-2013 08:10 AM

:console: I have no suggestions but hope you can get the support you need.

LuckyLou 02-11-2013 08:54 AM

Majella, I imagine it took a lot of courage to come on and update us all, well done you. I echo what has been said about counselling. I've been there and it is so helpful to have another person's nonjudgemental, professional support. It can be difficult knowing where to start- I asked my doc for a recommendation and while it was tough at times, my therapist was a real rock of strength.

It sounds like you are looking forward to closing the shop. Best of luck with that & with the rest of your journey.

To fresh starts!
Lou.

sunday 02-11-2013 09:15 AM

I am so sorry. Wishing you some love and good thoughts for health. :console:
This is a great place to come to for comfort and wisdom. :aprayer:

hot-in-texas 02-11-2013 09:44 AM

Hi Majella, I didn't know you from before-I came to JUDDD in January. Sorry for what you've been through. and for people in your life who you trusted that hurt you :(
Try to let that go, and all the negative things too, it only hurts you to hold onto them. Obviously what MIL said about you isn't true. You're a good, and valuable person. Keep remembering that, all day long. You're an integral human being.
Come here for hugs anytime you need them:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Majella 02-11-2013 10:20 AM

Thanks everyone for your kindness. I am in therapy with my husband at the moment, which is difficult but helpful and I can see things a bit clearer now but still not sure how to fix things. My medication was increased in fact it was doubled but I'm tempted to go back to the doc for another increase. I have my husband for support and I can talk to him about most things and if I need to talk about him and other stuff I have my sister on the phone anytime I need to. I'm looking forward to my new start!

hot-in-texas 02-11-2013 10:48 AM

Woohoo! Great attitude! Welcome back:)

sunday 02-11-2013 11:05 AM

Sounds like an awesome plan! It is great therapy to come here and see others who have walked this road in life! :hugs:

Cindy-lou 02-11-2013 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Majella (Post 16253062)
Thanks everyone for your kindness. I am in therapy with my husband at the moment, which is difficult but helpful and I can see things a bit clearer now but still not sure how to fix things. My medication was increased in fact it was doubled but I'm tempted to go back to the doc for another increase. I have my husband for support and I can talk to him about most things and if I need to talk about him and other stuff I have my sister on the phone anytime I need to. I'm looking forward to my new start!

YOU are the only person that knows your body!! and if its still not happy then YES talk to your doctor ...right now he is the only one that can help with that end and :jumpjoy: for your DH ...Good for him to stick by you
As for anyone one "DONT WORY ABOUT THEM:mad::down:....they are not YOU :hugs:

Welcome Back ...Hold your head up high your doing a GREAT JOB!!:high5:

zipp2play 02-11-2013 11:33 AM

My prayers are with you!

gotitnow 02-11-2013 01:50 PM

So glad you are back Magella. :hugs::console: Coming back here is just another sign of the strength you have! Getting even stronger and healthy again will prove to your MIL how wrong she is. Maybe that can be a motivation for you. You can do this, and certainly have everyone here pulling for you! You and DH will be in my prayers.:aprayer:

Phyl:heart:

Librarygirl 02-11-2013 03:00 PM

Hi Magella and welcome back. I was not here when you left, but I want to add to what the others have said here and wish you the best of luck with everything. It's really great that your dh is going to therapy with you, and it's a very positive sign that you're ready to start JUDDDing again and getting back to bettering yourself. I hope to see you often on the boards.:hugs:

Sammyann 02-11-2013 04:41 PM

:hugs: I'm sorry about your shop. I know how hard that can be. My dh is closing his shop on Friday. Times are tough but they can and will get better. I'm glad you are getting help.

I wouldn't worry too much about your weight untill you have your medication sorted out and you feel stable. Have you had your vit D levels checked? I know I feel better mentally and when I was on depression medication it seemed to work better when I was taking vit D.

Luv2Eat 02-11-2013 04:53 PM

:console: Majella. It sounds like the clouds are beginning to thin.

Beeb 02-11-2013 05:54 PM

:console::console::console:

tobelowcarber 02-11-2013 11:55 PM

:hugs::hugs::aprayer: My prayers are with you, Majella.

Kissa 02-12-2013 02:11 AM

Majella I am so sorry things got so bad for you. It seems that you are turning a corner now though. I am glad you and DH are getting some therapy and I hope the GP agrees to adjust your dose for you.

Coming back here is a huge positive step. I think going Gluten free is a good plan and enough of a challenge for the time being. You will probably see a drop in size from that alone.

Sending lots of healing thoughts.

Carly 02-12-2013 03:46 AM

Sending healing thoughts and tons of hugs. I'm glad you came back to post and it's great that your and your husband are getting some therapy. Keep sharing with people in your life and here with us.

Majella 02-12-2013 05:39 AM

Thanks everyone :) I feel better today for the first time in 3 weeks :) We got approved a loan today so we can clear the shop debts in one go and not have them following after us for the next few months. Also we can plan a little trip away for ourselves in May. My hubby has 3 whole weeks off so we will try again to do our European road trip.

I am on a DD but not gluten free yet. I have to plan better for that and need to buy some gluten free foods and that has to wait till payday. Thanks again for the lovely welcome back, it's good to be back in such a happy place!

Luv2Eat 02-12-2013 06:29 AM

:hugs:

svenskamae 02-12-2013 06:43 AM

I'm glad you are feeling a little better now. I hope things continue to improve for you. :console: :hugs:

LoCarbGal 02-12-2013 06:58 AM

:hugs: to you Majella! You are so strong and brave to come back and update us. Just getting it all off your chest is a huge step and I'm so glad you're beginning to feel better.

Majella 02-13-2013 04:59 AM

Well I had a great DD yesterday! This morning I can wear my new jeans that wouldn't tie comfortably last week. Today is another DD because I needed to move my days around so I can have pancakes Sat evening with friends. Monday is the anniversary of the day I first met my hubby in real life 12 years ago so I think we'll do something special that day as well. I feel so much better now having some control over what I eat. I was really out of control and just grabbing crisps and coke when I felt any bit stressed. Today I'm meeting with my art group and then into my studio and make some stuff. I bought glass in January and haven't used it yet and that's a sure sign of something not right with me. Usually it's like Christmas when I get glass. (I fuse glass in my studio above the craft shop) :)

LoCarbGal 02-13-2013 08:24 AM

I'm so glad you had a good DD! Sounds like things are turning around a bit for you. Great news!

gotsomeold 02-13-2013 09:07 AM

Hey Majella :hugs: !

I remember your work. You have a great talent enhanced and matured by training and experience. I am sure the shop took up most of your time. I have run a business and know how time-consuming and creativity stifling that can be. I am looking forward to seeing your work for sale online again!

In the meantime, please do concentrate on getting your body regulated and back on track to health!

Whitlin' 02-14-2013 03:31 AM

Majella, you know your posts must be sounding brighter if A JUDDD BUDDD actually cautions you about having two DDs in a row. :) Consider letting it be a Medium day or a day when you go to a higher percentage for your DD?

(((hugs))) to you and what a blessing that the financial solution right now is such a simple one, rather than piecemeal worries.

Probably your kidney numbers will ease - a little more time than this I would think. Plenty of pure water, drunk slowly to flush them gently. Asparagus is good for the kidneys. Dr's right that something wrong with ONE kidney may be happening and the other is just fine, working along well. This is a great short article on healing of kidneys.

God bless you. Your mother in law can still be your friend - she may have over reacted but it was an extraordinary time and she was unprepared and confused. You can certainly ask your husband to express to her how hard you were working and trying. All best wishes :heart:

hot-in-texas 02-14-2013 03:56 AM

:goodpost:

Majella 02-14-2013 05:42 AM

Hi again :)
Nancy thank you and yes soon my webshop will be up and running alongside my blog. I think the people around me who are not so creative couldn't see how depressed running the shop was making me and making things makes me so happy and I had no energy for it anymore.
Whitlin in the end I did a medium day yesterday and was around the 1000 cal mark :) Looks like my kidneys are ok now so it must have been a bad infection. But because I still have pain in the area and my liver is also there I am going to go get that looked into as well.

Today I'm going into my studio for a bit then taking the bus to the city for some window shopping and relaxation. Might get some craft magazines I can't get here in my town.

Oh Happy Valentines Day everyone!!


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