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Old 01-31-2013, 08:59 AM   #1
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30 Weeks on JUDDD -- Grumble

Today I weighed in at 254lbs, for a loss of 0 lb this week, 36 lbs total, 32 of them on JUDDD.

I'm grumbling because this was my worst week JUDDDing in a very long time and I'm almost too stressed out to care.

Downsides


In Trouble with Up Days. I really tried to plan out all my up day meals and keep them to my numbers. I failed in that endeavor so I think it's time to admit that I'm in trouble here. If I was going over my numbers because of whim--I want those chocolate truffles!--that'd be one thing. That happens sometimes, but far and away the biggest culprit on up days has been appetite. More on this later, but I felt that a true confession was in order.

Insomnia. I had at least one fantastic down day this week, with so much energy and productivity...that it was followed by a totally sleepless night. I know this is a side-effect of fasting and I know it's a good indication that it's working, but I'm going to have to start adjusting my food so that I take some of it before bed so that I can sleep, because I was a total wreck the next day.

Anxiety. I have some pretty good reasons to be anxious this week for reasons other than hunger and insomnia. A few days ago, my grandmother passed away. I was close to her and loved her very much and I was very lucky to have her in my life as long as I did. She was ninety years old, so it wasn't a shock, but the family fallout is horrid and I'm worried about my parents, etc. Also, my latest novel is due to my publisher in four days. I've gone from 'OMG, must get it done!' to 'OMG, I think this might be the worst book I've ever written, so I think I will just stare aimlessly at pictures of my grandmother...or make a new gluc powder recipe rather than work.'

Diet Fatigue. For the first time in maybe seven months, I had this thought: I don't know how much longer I can stand only eating every other day... For me, that's a dangerous thought. It shocked me, because I've been so happy on JUDDD for so long. I think it's also why I didn't end up keeping to my up day numbers this week. I think I was aware that I was walking a fine line and if I forced myself to be hungry three days in a row, I would break in a big way. So I kept to my down days with iron control but let the up days slide. And maybe, at the moment, that's the best I can do.

Upsides


Respecting Hunger. Yes, on JUDDD I've learned that hunger is not an emergency...which is a valuable lesson that will help me for the rest of my life. But because of it, I've become quite complacent about hunger. To the point where, on down days, I'll let myself be miserable all day long in pursuit of a super low number that I don't even need to be striving for. It's almost a point of pride. Sure, I'm uncomfortable and unable to sleep...but heaven forbid I add shirataki noodles to my broth because I'm tough now and I don't need them. I don't ever screw up my down days but then there's a point I'm just being stubborn and risking diet fatigue when I don't have to. So, I've determined to start incorporating some of the old tricks back into my WOE.

Rediscovering Old Tricks. I have a love-hate relationship with shirataki noodles. I can get past the texture in certain applications, like soup, but I hate the fishy liquid they come in--and it's very hard to rinse, boil, or even pan-fry it all out. On the other hand, they are marvelously filling and would keep me sated on down days for a long time. I've resolved to start re-using them. But more importantly, I have rediscovered glucomannan powder. On yesterday's DD, I made a zero calorie grape jello that was far superior to the aspartame-laden crap you get at the store, and it killed my hunger. I intend to make the jelly candies too. And this morning, even though it was an up day, I wanted to experiment with the glu dumplings that everyone is talking about in the recipe room. My experiment turned out not unlike a pan-fried rice noodle. At the moment, I'm in love with this stuff, and I feel like using it again is going to make me stronger in this WOE next week--when I'd better see a drop in the scale, darn it.

Didn't Break Rotations. The day after my grandmother died, I sure wasn't feeling like JUDDDing. I woke up, bleary-eyed and upset and thinking 'screw it.' But then I thought, "Do you think that's how she would want you to react? You're not really honoring her memory by screwing up your own health, are you?" And the moment passed. Thanks Nana

And thanks JUDDD BUDDDs. What a journey!

Last edited by stephdray; 01-31-2013 at 09:49 AM..
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:18 AM   #2
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I'm sorry for your loss, and so proud of you for staying the course and not being derailed by it.

I have gone through periods of diet fatigue with JUDDD and moved to maintenance numbers for a bit to get through them. It worked for me, so that's always an option to try if your other additions don't help next week.

Stress and insomnia do nothing good for weight loss, so this week was bound to be hard. I have faith that you'll have a better week coming up.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:25 AM   #3
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So sorry for your loss, Steph.You are doing very well by losing every week, even if you didn't this *one* time. That's ahead of the game right there! Thank you for the recipe tips too. I have not tried gluc powder, but will look for it ASAP.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:59 AM   #4
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Sorry for your loss
30 weeks is a long time to be so focused on a certain WOE. Too bad it doesn't just become 2nd nature. I think that's a good idea to start incorporating old DD tricks. I wonder if going into maintenance phase for a bit would help? Are you still doing the 20% weight loss mode?
Congratulations on 32 pounds!!
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:25 AM   #5
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So sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. I know you will get through this tough time!
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:53 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephdray View Post


Diet Fatigue. For the first time in maybe seven months, I had this thought: I don't know how much longer I can stand only eating every other day... For me, that's a dangerous thought. It shocked me, because I've been so happy on JUDDD for so long. I think it's also why I didn't end up keeping to my up day numbers this week. I think I was aware that I was walking a fine line and if I forced myself to be hungry three days in a row, I would break in a big way. So I kept to my down days with iron control but let the up days slide. And maybe, at the moment, that's the best I can do.
First off I am So sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing

I would say it's the stress of everything in your life right now that is making you have these thought!!

Hang in there
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:12 AM   #7
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Steph, Sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is important to give yourself time and maintenance will allow you the "worry free" JUDDD.

I know that I have had several "O" loss weeks, my assumption is this is to be expected when you are my age.
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Old 01-31-2013, 11:22 AM   #8
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So sorry Steph about your Grandmother passing and the book stress too. I am very impressed with your strength and your dedication to your health through such a difficult time.
Dawn's advice sounds good to me.
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:02 PM   #9
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So sorry for your loss, Stephanie. I think that you are right about how Nana would want you to continue on your health journey. Stress like this can keep the scale from going down. I'm very proud of you for not gaining with all you have been dealing with. Love you, Girl.
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:03 PM   #10
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Steph, my condolences on your grandmother's passing.

I hope all goes well with your book. Wow, what a stressful week!!!

*If* you ever have time/feel up to it, some people have had success making their own gluc noodles...free of fishy water! I also sometimes use sauteed, grated zucchini and/or savoy cabbage for noodles. They have some calories but also some nutrition and are so much cheaper & convenient for me (going to the Asian market is a once-every-few-months field trip).

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Old 01-31-2013, 12:07 PM   #11
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Just wanted to send you lots of and prayers and for your sweet grandma's passing, Steph. It's so hard to stay the course when you're grieving...and even more so with all the book stress you're under on top of it all. Be extra kind to yourself right now sweetie! You will prevail!!!! (yes, as Nana would want!!!)
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:24 PM   #12
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I'm sorry that you have had such a rough week. Like others who have posted, I thought of maybe advising a few weeks in maintenance mode, until you are feeling less diet fatigued and under less stress. I know that too little sleep and/or too much stress means that my cortisol is up and I'm not going to lose weight for a while anyway, no matter what I do, and that might be true for you, too.

I hope next week is better.
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Old 01-31-2013, 12:24 PM   #13
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Steph I know I sent you hugs a day or 2 ago, but I'm sending more right now.
I agree that your Nana would want you to honor you health and I believe that she knew that you did that in her memory

I have also suffered more sleepless nights recently and am not fond of this. I'm praying that it will pass, because I love juddd, but hate being awake entire nights.

I'm sure the book is going to be wonderful and I know that in no time you will be posting about how effortlessly you reigned in your UDs.
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Old 01-31-2013, 01:17 PM   #14
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So sorry for your loss. I hope next week is better and brighter and the JUDDD magic returns to make things less stressful.
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Old 01-31-2013, 01:39 PM   #15
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm too new at this to offer any wise words of wisdom as to the zero week but given all you've been through, I'd say 0 is better than a +.
Please take care of yourself mentally too.
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:45 PM   #16
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Sending lots of love and hugs to you. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma's passing. Love yourself up and deal with only what you can, the rest will sort itself or be there when you're ready. Be well Sweetie
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:04 PM   #17
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I'm sorry for your loss. And the stress on top of it.

You're doing marvelously, despite the "0" this week. That happens to everyone. Happened to me many many times. But look at it this way. In the past, what would have happened in a week like this? I know for me I would have eaten every feeling I had and probably then some. You didn't do perfectly, but you did really really well. Maintaing through a week like that? I call that a big win. You are awesome. A real JUDDD rockstar.

And here's a for you.
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Old 01-31-2013, 05:55 PM   #18
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:36 PM   #19
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Steph, I am so sorry you had to lose your sweet Nana.

I "see" you as such a strong woman, and everything you said shows just how much so.

Like others have said, be gentle with yourself and in the meantime, you and all your family will be in my .

You have done wonderfully well under your circumstances.

Phyl
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Old 02-01-2013, 03:51 AM   #20
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IMHO, sounds like you need a break, try something different for a while, a change is as ggod as a rest, and you will probably find it will re-enforce the feeling that JUDD is doable.
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:54 AM   #21
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Old 02-01-2013, 05:17 AM   #22
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So sorry for the pain you are going through with your loss, but please remember that loved ones never really go, they are just there now in a different way. Look around, she will be everywhere when you need her the most, as she was in life.
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Old 02-01-2013, 09:27 AM   #23
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Steph, I'm so sorry about your losing your grandma. I don't care how old she was, you didn't want to lose her ever. I'm so glad you and she were close and that she was such a gift to you. I'll bet she was mighty proud of her granddaughter, the successful author.

You're doing great staying on plan. Just be nice to yourself right now. You need some time and space to grieve, and to focus on your book. Don't try to do everything. And I know this book will be fantastic. I just finished Song of the Nile and all I can say is WOW! The woman who wrote this just could not write a bad book!

Love, hugs, and prayers to you sweetie.
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Old 02-01-2013, 10:25 AM   #24
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Just came in here .. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Nana.

Please be kind to yourself and don't worry about JUDDD for a few days. I'm only guessing here, but I would imagine the emotions come up that what's the point of dieting when we're all going to be gone someday whether we're fat or not. You have done amazingly well compared to some of us and whether you end up going a week or do maintenance for a month, it might do you alot of emotional good to take a mini-break. And who knows, JUDDD might be more ingrained than you think.

But, whatever, just be good to yourself!
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Old 02-01-2013, 12:12 PM   #25
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Steph, I'm so sorry about your losing your grandma. I don't care how old she was, you didn't want to lose her ever. I'm so glad you and she were close and that she was such a gift to you. I'll bet she was mighty proud of her granddaughter, the successful author.

You're doing great staying on plan. Just be nice to yourself right now. You need some time and space to grieve, and to focus on your book. Don't try to do everything. And I know this book will be fantastic. I just finished Song of the Nile and all I can say is WOW! The woman who wrote this just could not write a bad book!

Love, hugs, and prayers to you sweetie.
I just noticed that you dedicated Song of the Nile to your mom and grandmas. How wonderful. A real tribute.
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:23 PM   #26
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Steph,
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the heart ache. I am also sorry for your stress.

You said this quote --and that was me a short time ago. Felt I couldn't go on much longer and that is not a good sign.

Diet Fatigue. For the first time in maybe seven months, I had this thought: I don't know how much longer I can stand only eating every other day... For me, that's a dangerous thought. It shocked me, because I've been so happy on JUDDD for so long.

I switched over to the Perfect Health Diet and am doing a daily fast of 16 hours with an 8 hour window to eat. What a HUGE HUGE difference it has made. My body was telling me something with the way I was fasting and I was fighting it tooth and nail.

With the 16/8 I stop eating at 8:00PM and next meal is at noon. I have a cup of coffee with coconut oil when I wake up. This is way more manageable and I feel at PEACE. No stress. No cravings or desires to binge. I will do this for awhile, and when ready, I will go back to JUDDDing.

You just may need to change things for awhile. I thought JUDDD was the answer when I started and for six months, but my body wanted something else after awhile.

Hugs to you.
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Old 02-02-2013, 02:34 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephdray View Post

. . . far and away the biggest culprit on up days has been appetite. More on this later, but I felt that a true confession was in order. . . .

Diet Fatigue. For the first time in maybe seven months, I had this thought: I don't know how much longer I can stand only eating every other day...

. . . on down days, I'll let myself be miserable all day long in pursuit of a super low number that I don't even need to be striving for.
I think, that with a week like you've had, not gaining is actually pretty phenomenal. (My condolences for the passing of your beloved grandma).

Regarding UP day appetite ... oh! I get so that my body has totally figured out what I'm doing. It was so lovely when my up day calories felt so generous. Oh well! Still love JUDDD.

Re: diet fatigue: I was experiencing that in January and didn't figure that out right away. I took it easy. I am consoled by the fact that our most fabulous losers have taken breaks and gone on to achieve great things with weight loss.

With the super-low DD numbers ... I was just thinking about this! I played with the calculator the other day and realized how many calories are still considered a down day. I'm actually going to increase my down day calories a bit when I need to, because I can! I think if we suffer less, we are less likely to go into diet fatigue (see point two ).

Keep on keeping on, my friend. And remember, your novel is like a beloved guest who has stayed a little too long. Once it leaves, you'll appreciate it so much more.

Last edited by calichris; 02-02-2013 at 02:36 PM..
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Old 02-03-2013, 04:37 AM   #28
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Stephanie, have I mentioned I love the way your mind works? And I am amazed by clarity you achieve when you commit thoughts to words. The book is good. The book is probably great. I suspect feeling it is feldergarb is a normal part of the creative process - exacerbated by stress.

And you have been through an extended period of stress capped by a nightmare you knew was coming, but could not be truly prepared for. I wish I had a way to help you get through this.

Shaking things up by trying new recipes, new foods, new eating patterns/timing does help with diet fatigue. In times of emotional and physical stress (and you have plenty of both), concentrating on eating foods that are provide nutritional support really can help - eat your veggies, your protein, your fats, your dark chocolate.

Hugs, I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better.
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Still at goal 2/6/13
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I did not "lose" weight. I evicted it. It is gone and it ain't coming back!

JUDDD cares about calories. JUDDD does not care what you eat. Your body probably does.
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Old 02-03-2013, 05:14 AM   #29
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to you and to Nana.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:35 AM   #30
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Dearest Step, I haven't been around much and have only just seen this.

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother.

Diet fatigue is natural but you are already working your way through it by not allow yourself to suffer and throw in the towel. You are doing a wonderful job simply maintaining.

Keep on keeping on or, if you feel the need, you could try another method of IF.

Sending you love and hugs.
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