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-   -   when people call you fat. (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/juddd/795451-when-people-call-you-fat.html)

Rosey 01-26-2013 11:15 AM

when people call you fat.
 
Posted this in a wrong thread. Oops

So yesterday I passed by the shop to buy a few things and I hadn't changed my gym clothes so I felt a little uncomfortable as the assistant came close. I told her, to not get too close cos I'm from gym n I probably stink a lil. Her response was but u are fatter than the last time I saw u. I felt it. Laughed it off n left.

Today I went to the garage(petrol station) to get milk. Low fat milk n the assistant said to me r u buying low fat because u don't want to get bigger than u already are?:dunno:

See I'm a size 14/16 I wear large or xl. I had a breast reduction which I thought would stop all that torment. I used to go through a lot of this when I wore a Zcup. People called me a dairy farm, strangers, I was called fat all the time, ppl had the decensy to ask me why my boobs were that big. I had gone thru men grabbing my boobs.strangers I mean.

Kissa 01-26-2013 11:41 AM

Oh Rosey, I am so sorry you have gone through such hard times. I am glad you had the reduction.

As for these totally thoughtless, rude and unkind people I am just flabbergasted. You did well to laugh it off. I would have spoken my mind, but I am a lot older that you!

It sounds to me as if you are doing all the right things to help yourself and I hope you don't allow these sad folks to upset your determination.

Sending hugs your way.

Flutter 01-26-2013 11:51 AM

W.T.H is wrong with people????? I am so very sorry, Rosey! Those people are just rude, obnoxious and thoughtless people! Huge hugs to you! I am livid FOR you!!!

I will never understand why people have to be so cruel & unkind. It's bad enough thinking like that, speaking it out loud is uncalled for. Period!

You are a beautiful, wonderful person and don't ever forget it!!!!

Eieio 01-26-2013 12:00 PM

First thought i had, was they must of been early potty trained.
And still working on it!
I apologize for them. So sorry.
Some people are clueless, no manners.

Rosey 01-26-2013 12:00 PM

Thank you Mel and Cindy

Thing is a part of me sometimes wishes to tell them what I think of them. But even the bible say, don't argue with a fool. So mayb next time I will say, bless u fool. I'm just not a rude person n sometimes when I go out I even leave My house with a fighting mentality ready to tell someone where to get off. But that's not who I really am. It would probably force me to buy a chocolate to calm myself down

Flutter 01-26-2013 12:05 PM

I am the same way, Rosey. I am just so angry for you. I would never DREAM of saying something cruel to someone and just cannot imagine someone saying it to you. There is no reason to call someone names, for crying out loud. Like I said, you are a beautiful, wonderful and obviously kind person. Good things are coming your way! Try to forget about those people. They will be eating their words!!! :hugs:

Kissa 01-26-2013 12:05 PM

I am never rude either rosy, but I will speak out if I feel the need.

You are clearly a very good person and I look forward to seeing more of your posts. I looked at your journal and I'm sorry you found the DDs so hard.

Try posting on the daily DD threads and seeing what others are eating, I find that helpful

Flutter 01-26-2013 12:06 PM

I never think to look at journals here but always scroll down and try to check in as many threads as I can. DDs are so hard for so many! Please do post often around here so we can help you!

hot-in-texas 01-26-2013 12:07 PM

I am sorry Rosey, that is just rude rude! If i think of the perfect comeback I will let you know.
I haven't had that happen to me, instead I am just "invisible" it seems. If someone ever made a comment like that to me, I am afraid of what I would do!!

Rosey 01-26-2013 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hot-in-texas (Post 16220902)
I am sorry Rosey, that is just rude rude! If i think of the perfect comeback I will let you know.
I haven't had that happen to me, instead I am just "invisible" it seems. If someone ever made a comment like that to me, I am afraid of what I would do!!

I was thinking of going to buy that low fat milk again and actually telling the guy "oh the low fat milk works wonders, u should try it sometimes. Mayb it will give u a better outlook on life". But then again he probably won't even know what the heck I'm talking about

Rosey 01-26-2013 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flutter (Post 16220900)
I never think to look at journals here but always scroll down and try to check in as many threads as I can. DDs are so hard for so many! Please do post often around here so we can help you!

Will do that. I'm starting juddd again on Monday. I am going to need all the help I can get

piratejenny 01-26-2013 12:16 PM

Oh, that seems so rude to me!
But perhaps it is a cultural difference.
I was born in the US but have Mexican heritage & grew up in Central America. I worked in a factory where at least 95% of the workers were from Latin America, and many of them made comments about each others' weight and appearance all the time. (There are *really* big cultural/language differences between Central & South America, and Mexico, and Caribbean countries like Puerto Rico & Dominican Republic). The ones who made the comments acted as if they were just stating facts, like "you're tall" or "your hair is getting so long", and didn't necessarily mean it as an insult or a compliment. But it made me paranoid, that so many people watched me closely enough to notice any little change. Sometimes it was like being surrounded by 200 really nosy, opinionated, outspoken aunts or mothers-in-law!!! :eek:

Also, being somewhat fat was considered healthy and attractive; I was a size 18 at the time and many thinner women (as well as a couple of the gay guys!!! :hyst:) constantly told me they envied my legs and booty!!!

Sorry again that you were treated this way and felt uncomfortable. Even if they don't mean it maliciously, I don't know why people have to make such personal comments...like we don't *know* what our bodies or noses or feet or hair look like?!!!

Carly 01-26-2013 12:16 PM

I just don't know what people are thinking when they make rude and hurtful statements like that. I always think to myself that living well is the best revenge. Early last year DW and I were in the laundry room and discussing that she needed to get more vitamin D. A very rude neighbor of ours said "You 2 should be more worried about losing 80 pounds a peice than vitamin D."
Well I've lost 70 pounds, but he hasn't commented since....

Kissa 01-26-2013 12:38 PM

Carly that leaves even me speechless!

Yennie 01-26-2013 12:39 PM

Dearest Rosie,
I am so sorry these people were rude & hurtful to you. It will never, ever cease to amaze me the things people say and think are ok. My mother is one of "those" people - constantly judging and rude, especially about weight so needless to say she's said some pretty hurtful things to me during my weight struggles over the years. She's one of those who is about 110# soaking wet and never had to think about it, so of course people who are overweight are lazy, unmotivated, no will power (I think we've heard them all).
One of my guilty pleasures is to read internet advice columns (Think Dear Abby & such) and one consistent theme is to not meet rudeness with rudeness. It helps me to practice a response so that its exactly as I want it to be, and have a standard one liner that fits all occasions.
I've had some other things happen in my past that, for reasons I don't understand, also invited nosy, hurtful comments. My standard reply is "Oh, that's so cute. What a rude thing to say!" and I say it with a big, gigantic smile on my face in a sweet tone of voice you might use when talking to a toddler. I even like to **** my head to the side a bit, to especially emphasize how not ok it is. Sometimes, depending on the question, I even add "I'm fairly certain that's none of your business!" The key, for me to use this successfully, has been to be SO. D@MN. SWEET. when I deliver these lines. I've never had someone sass back, and I'd like to think they even feel a bit sheepish afterwards. And will maybe think twice before being hurtful to someone else in the future.
Chin up love, you're going to be a great success! Please keep coming back, post to the daily DD threads. DDs are pretty tough, but watching those numbers on the scale dial back...so exciting!!!

RebeccaSimpson 01-26-2013 12:49 PM

Rosey I'm really sorry for you! I can't believe that people can me so rude, it makes me feel bad that I'm a human. I believe that every harm you do to another person will come back to you 3 times. They want get away with it!
Big hug

gotsomeold 01-26-2013 12:54 PM

:console: Rosey!

I ignore idiots - I refuse to lower myself to their nasty level.

tofucheez 01-26-2013 01:32 PM

The (sad) truth is that some people will be hurtful no matter what.

I am very trim and have a delicate bone structure. I frequently get harassed for being tiny (though I'm 5'6"). At work or social functions some folks try to loudly push food on me, saying I'll "blow away" and all the other standard snide comments. I am not thin by chance. I cannot eat whatever I want. I work very hard to stay this way by eating well and proper (not excessive) exercise. When groups of women go by they often make unkind comments. The worst offenders (to me personally) are groups of overweight women.

I just don't get it. What matters in life is how you treat other people, not what size you are....big or small.

Debrat3 01-26-2013 01:36 PM

Wow those kind of comments cut straight to the heart. I call it pure ignorance!

Rosey 01-26-2013 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carly (Post 16220916)
I just don't know what people are thinking when they make rude and hurtful statements like that. I always think to myself that living well is the best revenge. Early last year DW and I were in the laundry room and discussing that she needed to get more vitamin D. A very rude neighbor of ours said "You 2 should be more worried about losing 80 pounds a peice than vitamin D."
Well I've lost 70 pounds, but he hasn't commented since....

My mouth is literally wide open.

Librarygirl 01-26-2013 01:43 PM

I'm so sorry Rosey!! I have had thoughtless people make comments to me too, and it cuts so deep. Right before I made the commitment to lose weight, I was talking to my mother and I said I had been push mowing the lawn and I was exhausted. She said, maybe it help you take off some of that weight, and I just burst out crying. That was probably one of the least hurtful things she has said, and yet I was fed up. Take this as motivation and tell them to eat their hearts out when you keep on losing and getting healthier!

Rosey 01-26-2013 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Librarygirl (Post 16221043)
I'm so sorry Rosey!! I have had thoughtless people make comments to me too, and it cuts so deep. Right before I made the commitment to lose weight, I was talking to my mother and I said I had been push mowing the lawn and I was exhausted. She said, maybe it help you take off some of that weight, and I just burst out crying. That was probably one of the least hurtful things she has said, and yet I was fed up. Take this as motivation and tell them to eat their hearts out when you keep on losing and getting healthier!

That is super painful. I think people who have never been overweight think they have a right to tell us to lose weight. The once that make me mad the most is when people comment about you eating a smaller meal. Like you never win. You eat small portions people are on ur case. You eat larger portions they laugh at you.

Demonica 01-26-2013 02:04 PM

Knowing how I am, I would have gone off on them.

People make me sick.:annoyed: I am so sorry you had to go thru that.:console:

Becky 01-26-2013 07:07 PM

Rosey, sorry people can be such insensitive jerks to you. (((HUG)))!!!

grammyw/kitties 01-26-2013 07:16 PM

The old addage "Don't judge untill you've walked a mile in my shoes" and "People who live in glass houses should not throw stones" comes to my mind..

Whitlin' 01-26-2013 08:01 PM

Rosey, I don't believe you had a problem on this day. You seem to have been doing fine.

I believe two other people had extreme problems with their own well-being on this day! They suddenly misplaced their maturity, that's for sure.

It would be difficult, if it were me, to interact with them again because I wouldn't feel they are trustworthy in what they might say next to anyone at all. The next guy may not walk away amiably and a bad scene could ensue!

Part of me wants to suggest going right back and bringing up the subject again, but that's almost mean to a clueless :confused: person to call them on it. As Yennie said, don't meet rudeness with rudeness.

tofucheese, sorry you have also had to deal with those who are so immature.

sunday 01-26-2013 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eieio (Post 16220887)
First thought i had, was they must of been early potty trained.
And still working on it!
I apologize for them. So sorry.
Some people are clueless, no manners.

This is perfect! ^ Love you Eieio! :friends:

Rosey, Don't let someone dim your light, simply because it is shining in their eyes!

You are beautiful and don't you forget it! :love: :heart:

sunday 01-26-2013 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tofucheez (Post 16221028)
The (sad) truth is that some people will be hurtful no matter what.

I am very trim and have a delicate bone structure. I frequently get harassed for being tiny (though I'm 5'6"). At work or social functions some folks try to loudly push food on me, saying I'll "blow away" and all the other standard snide comments. I am not thin by chance. I cannot eat whatever I want. I work very hard to stay this way by eating well and proper (not excessive) exercise. When groups of women go by they often make unkind comments. The worst offenders (to me personally) are groups of overweight women.

I just don't get it. What matters in life is how you treat other people, not what size you are....big or small.


I am sorry, but please don't ever let this dim your shine! What they say reflects on who they are and nothing else. :hugs:

mamabear702 01-27-2013 05:58 AM

Rosey, my nephew told me that when ppl call him fat he just says "thank you" & continues his day.

piratejenny 01-27-2013 08:54 AM

I read something by a fat activist recently about "taking back" the word "fat", trying to think of it as an adjective, like tall or short or tan, and ignoring any malicious or critical intent.

It's harder when it comes from a family member or friend who knew me when I was thin, but when a comment comes from a stranger I try not to let it bother me. I don't respect someone's opinion unless I respect them; and if they were just very nosy and rude to me, I don't!

It's all so subjective, anyway...I'm tan next to a Norwegian person but I'm pale as milk next to an Indian person!


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