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Old 01-09-2013, 04:47 AM   #31
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Wouldn't it be interesting to list all of the reasons people tell us to stop losing?

Ah - to heck with them! You look great. Inside and out, you are beautiful. I want you to feel that you look great. Tell me you want a BMI under 18 and I will tell you to stop it. Before then, you do what you want to do!!!
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:00 AM   #32
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Hi Kimberley
I don't know about you but, in the past, I have been at points where my weight would only fluctuate up and down a pound or so, no matter what I ate. If I put a few pounds on during a holiday, they would be gone after a couple of weeks back home.
I called them weight plateaus. Seth Roberts calls them set points.
I think that, rather than aiming for a certain number on a scale, it would be good to find the weight that your body is happy to maintain with very little help. There are several of these, some heavier than others. One within your optimal weight range where you are happy with how you look and feel would obviously be the best.
You're obviously close, you look great!
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:22 AM   #33
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Kimberly, you look fantastic! I agree that people may be reacting with a touch of jealousy. You've been so successful at losing, and they see you looking better and better.

I do think we in our 40s and on up do have to deal with the fact that our faces, necks and even upper chests look thinner before our waists and butts give it all up. But I also believe that the redistribution will keep changing our composition and "look" for a while after weight loss stops. If you want to lose a little more, do it!

Personally, I don't think you look sick or tired. You look happy and beautiful!
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:56 AM   #34
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WOW the things i miss when i go home off line! I have read each of your posts TWICE.. and i must concur that perhaps 2 things.. (they are used to the chubby me) and 2 ( some are jealous) I was rather hurt at first when one said somthing,, then the next day another "friend" said it again.. So it got me thinking that perhaps i could not "see" the real image of what i look like.. I am so happy to have you all here to help me see things more clearly! Much love here,, and i cant imagine sharing this journey with any one else than my beloved JUDDD BUDDS.. I still have to decide what i am to do, but.. at least i know with JUDDD i have the tools to maintain while i make that choice I love you all~ And thank you for sharing your feeling with me on this subject~
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:22 AM   #35
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and 2 ( some are jealous) I was rather hurt at first when one said somthing,, then the next day another "friend" said it again.. ~
My bffs have never said this to me. If they are jealous, I think you should invite them to lunch and order the biggest, yummiest meal loaded with fries and all types of goodies. On an UD, of course.

I would have a difficult time not enjoying myself.
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:30 AM   #36
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Adding to the chorus of people letting you know you look lovely and should stay at whatever weight makes you happiest!
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:47 AM   #37
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You look fabulous. I think it's a perception issue and people need time to adjust to your new look. When OH's cousin had gastric bypass and lost about 85 pounds when I first saw her I thought she looked VERY thin, especially her face. She had told my MIL, her aunt, that she wanted to lose 100 pounds and I thought that might be too much (but kept my mouth shut, I will add). We got photos throughout the year and my brain adjusted to her new look and when I saw her again the next summer, I thought she looked great.

So smile and thank them for their concern and go on doing what feels right to you. Perhaps in about 6 months they'll tell you how pleased they are that you took their advice and put on a few pounds when in reality you have maintained or are even less.
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:48 AM   #38
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I have a girlfriend that has lost alot of weight since going thru a very stressful divorce. I think she looks great and skinny to me because I dont know her any other way. I see her face looks so different from the weight loss. I seen her over the holidays and asked her if she lost more weight and she told me no I have actually gained 10 pounds. I think its cause she was wearing high heel boots and skinny jeans which made her look thinner. I dont by any means think she is too thin and that she dont need to lose anymore weight, but I can see how people would think that cause in our eyes she looks great. I think we need to listen to our own inner urges and do what we want to make us happy. People will adjust and if they dont
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:36 AM   #39
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Throwing my penny thought in.

I know I'm echoing some of the thoughts already mentioned (because I haven't read them all) in that people are used to seeing you heavier. I think sometimes it's almost like they see you at the new weight all of a sudden and think you've lost either enough or too much. Like the old weight is more "you". I know someone lost a lot of weight and even though I'm sure she was in her normal weight range, she looked totally different and not herself. She's put all that weight back on, but she looks more like herself again.

Or, it could be they're jealous because they want to lose weight and can't do it like you have!! Knowing me, I'd fall into that category!!

I think you look great and should do what feels right to you as long as your overall health is still good.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:58 AM   #40
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I thought you looked very healthy and happy in your picture. I agree with some of the others who have posted here that sometimes our friends are so used to seeing us at an unhealthy weight that their perception can be off when it comes to how they see us as we lose. When I was at a lower weight than this I had older friends (definitely not jealous) asking me to please not lose anymore and that I was small enough, and I was still 25-30 pounds from a healthy goal weight. If they had only ever known me at a healthy goal weight and then I gained up to where I was when they were begging me to stop losing, they would probably have been worried that I was gaining. It's all about perspective.
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:02 AM   #41
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ANd many many Thanks to you all.. Who would of thought when i started JUDDD I would ever need to ask a question like this one..JUDDD IS GREAT!
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:17 AM   #42
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I think you look great!

if you want to lose, or if during maintenance a pound or two comes off, or on, you'll look fine either way. It's up to you and how you feel-- energy, clothes fitting the way you want, etc.

I have trouble imagining this for myself, but I will *try* .... I think I'd want to have a couple pounds leeway, and then i'd say anything in say a 5lb range is "normal" for me, and if I go above that, go back to WLM, and below that, eat some cookies

Lastly-- do you exercise? now that you're at goal, if you wanted to change the shape of your body, you could do some yoga/pilates, or strength work, and that would change things without really affecting your weight (unless you gain muscle, not a bad thing).

b/c you are awesome!!!
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:20 AM   #43
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I'm sure they're real friends.

They probably just can't adjust.

It's happened to me before. I have these two male friends. Both of them big guys. Bears. I loved to hug 'em. It was kind of comforting to have their big presence around.

A few years ago both of them lost tons of weight and when I saw them as such skinny shadows of their former selves, instead of being overjoyed, I had to fight back actual fear for them. It took me a good hour to convince myself that neither of them were starving to death, they weren't ill, they didn't have cancer, they were not DYING before my eyes, they were just thin.

If I'd met them when they were thin, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But that's not how the mind works. It's kind of a cool feature that when we love someone, our brains decide that they are beautiful just the way they are.

So then when they go and change on us, the brain has to adjust. And biologically, primally, weight loss is almost always a sign of illness in the animal kingdom, so we've got that working against us too.

My guess is that these people knew you pretty well at a heavier weight and all their inner biology is screaming at them that there's something wrong with you and they are telling you this because they love you.

But they need to let logic rule. Tell them that if you go below a normal weight, you will totally welcome their input but at the moment, you're in a very healthy place. If you want to tell them anything at all, that is...

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Old 01-09-2013, 12:32 PM   #44
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You look wonderful! I would say thank you for the concern to people who are saying this and then change the subject!

Only YOU know where you want to be....everything else is just someone's prospective.
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:00 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by stephdray View Post
I'm sure they're real friends.

They probably just can't adjust.

It's happened to me before. I have these two male friends. Both of them big guys. Bears. I loved to hug 'em. It was kind of comforting to have their big presence around.

A few years ago both of them lost tons of weight and when I saw them as such skinny shadows of their former selves, instead of being overjoyed, I had to fight back actual fear for them. It took me a good hour to convince myself that neither of them were starving to death, they weren't ill, they didn't have cancer, they were not DYING before my eyes, they were just thin.

If I'd met them when they were thin, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But that's not how the mind works. It's kind of a cool feature that when we love someone, our brains decide that they are beautiful just the way they are.

So then when they go and change on us, the brain has to adjust. And biologically, primally, weight loss is almost always a sign of illness in the animal kingdom, so we've got that working against us too.

My guess is that these people knew you pretty well at a heavier weight and all their inner biology is screaming at them that there's something wrong with you and they are telling you this because they love you.

But they need to let logic rule. Tell them that if you go below a normal weight, you will totally welcome their input but at the moment, you're in a very healthy place. If you want to tell them anything at all, that is...
WOW steph.. This was a the animal part was a real eye opener for me, the way folks can view it
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:41 PM   #46
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Kimberly, I think you look beautiful in the picture you posted!

Thank you for the courage to ask this question, it's a delicate subject. Gosh, and so many great responses!

I'm sorta at the same place as you. I figure all these people have their own body to do what they want - I'm not telling them what to do - if I wanted their opinion, I would have asked, lol. This is MY body and I'm gonna do what I want with it. Yeah, I'm selfish and hard headed sometimes, maybe. I just get tired of people pushing me around the older I get, ha!
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:28 PM   #47
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Kimberly...so agree....Steph's thoughts are great on this!

Actually...everyone's are!!!....keep smiling that beautiful smile!

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Old 01-09-2013, 04:35 PM   #48
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You know I was looking haggard for a little while after hcg, but I was lifting and not eating enough protein. I you work out, make sure you eat after, just some bit of protein. BUT my loose skin bounced back on my face as well as my other areas. You may just need some new face creams, ROC has some good ones, and facial exercises DO work too.
I think a bit is jealousy and they worry--which is silly they ought to worry about diabetes and heart disease, instead of one being 'too thin' It is to our advantage to be a little lighter and eat healthier, than the garbage a lot of people put in their bodies!
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:04 PM   #49
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Hi Kimbery!

I like your pic and think you look healthy!

Tell me, what size are "these" people that say things like that to you?

If you feel good that is important, I just want you to know you look good

Come on over to Main Lane and join the party! I'm the # 1 party pooper, as I find it rather hard, but then today I lost 2 # I gained over the holiday!

Stick with JUDD and be happy.

The Happy JUDD gal who is still trying Main and will find a happy place with it -- Leona
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:05 PM   #50
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@Plarsen, which facial exercises do you recommend
I'd like to not look haggard this time when I'm down 10 more pounds!
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Old 01-09-2013, 10:57 PM   #51
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Some one posted in the Lobby, maybe a year or so ago....that they had lost a lot of weight and looked gaunt and haggard, but were determined to get to the goal they had set. Their loss slowed for the last 20 pounds or so and by the time the last pounds were off, maybe 6 months, their skin had tightened and things had readjusted and they looked fine.

40 years ago 150 pounds was considered fat...we did not have vanity sizing.....and everyone weighed less. It is all what you get used to. Please yourself and know that things will adjust as your weight loss slows.

You may want to slow your loss for awhile by adding a little to your DD and see how you feel. You are close enough to goal to begin playing with calories to see where maintainence calories will fall.

By the way, I think you look great and I am jealouse.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:01 AM   #52
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I must say.. All the responces here were and are great!! I also belive i have my answer thru your helpfull comments.. Ive decided... To let things just be.. learn to enjoy where i am at this moment!
I will re Shape.. While i take a break.. Committ to workign out with out fail.. and to see what changes i can make that way for a while.. Now that i LOVE my scale.. i want to love my MIRROR EVEN MORE lol

Foot note here..
Some habits are hard to break.. just today i was telling a friend of mine about my blood pressure( how low it is) and actually said.. "Its really great.. being an OVER WEIGHT person and have blood pressure that low is good !!"

She stopped me mid sentence.. and said.. "but your NOT OVER weight any more.. "
I didnt even realize that in MY MIND how that "thought" stays with us even at this point.. Got to work on this too~ Love to all my JUDDD BUDDDS

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Old 01-10-2013, 08:06 AM   #53
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Kimberly - you look amazing. I didn't want to miss an opportunity to tell you how great you look and how excited I am that you are closing in on your goals!!

I think change is hard to process for most of us in one way or another. You look so different that it will take time for people to adjust to this being how you look and this being your normal. I am definitely guilty of preferring people to look the same and little things, like haircuts even, throw me off. Usually after a bit, I start to prefer the new thing, but it takes a bit for my brain to adjust.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:15 AM   #54
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Foot note here..
Some habits are hard to break.. just today i was telling a friend of mine about my blood pressure( how low it is) and actually said.. "Its really great.. being an OVER WEIGHT person and have blood pressure that low is good !!"

She stopped me mid sentence.. and said.. "but your NOT OVER weight any more.. "
I didnt even realize that in MY MIND how that "thought" stays with us even at this point.. Got to work on this too~ Love to all my JUDDD BUDDDS
That is very telling indeed. I think a lot of us deal with not only other people's perceptions of us, but our own as well. And I do think it takes awhile to really embrace, and truly internalize the changes we have made to our bodies.

I'm so excited for you and your success! Thanks for being yet another inspiration here!
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:16 AM   #55
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I must say.. All the responces here were and are great!! I also belive i have my answer thru your helpfull comments.. Ive decided... To let things just be.. learn to enjoy where i am at this moment!
I will re Shape.. While i take a break.. Committ to workign out with out fail.. and to see what changes i can make that way for a while.. Now that i LOVE my scale.. i want to love my MIRROR EVEN MORE lol

Foot note here..
Some habits are hard to break.. just today i was telling a friend of mine about my blood pressure( how low it is) and actually said.. "Its really great.. being an OVER WEIGHT person and have blood pressure that low is good !!"

She stopped me mid sentence.. and said.. "but your NOT OVER weight any more.. "
I didnt even realize that in MY MIND how that "thought" stays with us even at this point.. Got to work on this too~ Love to all my JUDDD BUDDDS
Kimberly, I could have written everything you put here. It's so funny that we're really close in stats and are going through the exact same challenges right now. It's crazy. I just want to say I think you've done amazingly, and I'm proud of you. I'm taking a break too, and trying to learn to accept/love me as I am. I think it's healthy and I want to thank you for leading me down this path of reflection and decision making for myself. You never know who you're going to touch with your words and your struggles.
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:31 PM   #56
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Kimberly, I could have written everything you put here. It's so funny that we're really close in stats and are going through the exact same challenges right now. It's crazy. I just want to say I think you've done amazingly, and I'm proud of you. I'm taking a break too, and trying to learn to accept/love me as I am. I think it's healthy and I want to thank you for leading me down this path of reflection and decision making for myself. You never know who you're going to touch with your words and your struggles.
I love ya Dawn.. You still amaze me! Always will.. Def one of those folks i admire
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Old 01-10-2013, 12:46 PM   #57
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Kimberly: You are beeeeeeautiful!!! I love your decision to enjoy your fantastic weight loss accomplishment. Maintaining is a big deal in itself. If you maintain for a while and then decide you want to drop a pound or two, you know you have the skills to do it. If you decide to maintain you know you are in great health, look great, feel great... in other words, you can't make a bad decision here!

You are in a win-win situation! Congratulations!! You are truly a JUDD rock star!
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:10 PM   #58
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WOW YAMYAM i missed you!!! So happy to see you here!! Love ya girl!
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Old 01-10-2013, 01:16 PM   #59
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Right back at 'ya, Cutie!
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:52 AM   #60
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WOE: JUDDD (Is there any other way?)
Start Date: Restart July 2012 JUDDD. Start May 2012 Atkins
Kimberly~ I think you look gorgeous also! I have lost and gained wait in the past also, and have had many people tell me to stop, you've lost enough. I don't think that people are jealous, they may just be concerned. and concerned about something that is not their decision. When we are chunky ;0) we look smooth and plump (good words eh?) when we lose weight, nature starts to show a bit. People think they are helping when they are not. You look beautiful, you don't look tired or gaunt. YOU look great. You look inspiring!! If you want to continue to lose go for it. You know your body right? and if they continue to say things (while trying to be helpful) tell them "I know you mean well, but your comments make me feel not so great"

You look great...can't say it enough! Holly
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