Crushed...and not eating

[LoCarbGal]

Oh Vil! I am so sorry. You've got a lot of pain hitting you right now, and it's not fair! Times like this, I wish we could have a great big JB get-together and circle around you so you can feel all the love and support coming to you. Hugs all around too.

BF is the one losing out. He couldn't have been the right one for you. He is still out there somewhere, and you'll find each other....when you're ready. And you will be again sometime later.

I know your toe will heal and feel better soon. And I hope and pray you will find the right job for you very soon. In the meantime, try not to worry about your metabolism, and the job search. Your toe has to heal before you can get out and about, and your heart needs some time too. As I'm sure you know very well, you need to put out a positive, enthusiastic persona when job hunting, and that's just darn-near impossible when you have physical and emotional pain that bad. Give yourself a little time.

Sending , and your way, sweet Vilanteira!

[vilanteira]

I come back here every day to read this thread and you wonderful JBs have given me so much help, advice and emotional support. Thank you for taking time out of your day to give me some hope. It helps me so much more than I can express properly.

He called me yesterday to "wish me a happy new year and see how I was doing", and I almost had a breakdown after that. I had missed him so much and to hear from him was at the same time a relief and also really painful. I didn't delude myself that it was coming from a good place from him. Possibly guilt or whatever, but it wasn't good for me that's all I know. I wish I hadn't picked up the phone.

After that large dinner the other day, the appetite has completely dropped again (it's been hard to eat after his phone call), but you're right, I'm not gonna worry about metabolism and will just try my best to eat for some nutrition at least and leave it at that for now. Not counting calories or anything at all. I'm gonna focus on healing and then job search and hopefully see how I can put my life back together again.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you all for your support. This place had become much more than just friendly faces and a health/diet forum for me a long time ago, and I know I'll keep coming back here in the future to try and give back even a bit of what I've received from here.

[Babsbabs]

That sounds so painful to have all this happen to you at the same time. I hope things start to come together in a positive way for you quickly in the new year. . to you!

[Kissa]

If only we could do more. Sometimes words are just so inadequate.

[Joyjoy]

It's good to hear from you today, Vila. Lots of love out here for you.

[svenskamae]

Originally Posted by vilanteira

I come back here every day to read this thread and you wonderful JBs have given me so much help, advice and emotional support. Thank you for taking time out of your day to give me some hope. It helps me so much more than I can express properly.

He called me yesterday to "wish me a happy new year and see how I was doing", and I almost had a breakdown after that. I had missed him so much and to hear from him was at the same time a relief and also really painful. I didn't delude myself that it was coming from a good place from him. Possibly guilt or whatever, but it wasn't good for me that's all I know. I wish I hadn't picked up the phone.

After that large dinner the other day, the appetite has completely dropped again (it's been hard to eat after his phone call), but you're right, I'm not gonna worry about metabolism and will just try my best to eat for some nutrition at least and leave it at that for now. Not counting calories or anything at all. I'm gonna focus on healing and then job search and hopefully see how I can put my life back together again.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you all for your support. This place had become much more than just friendly faces and a health/diet forum for me a long time ago, and I know I'll keep coming back here in the future to try and give back even a bit of what I've received from here.

I'm very sorry that so many rotten and scary things have happened all at once. Do what you need to do to feel better and take care of yourself. If it feels better to not talk to your ex BF, then don't answer the phone (if you have caller id) if it's him; if you don't have caller id, then just say, when you hear his voice, "It makes me feel too bad to talk to you now, so I'm going to hang up now." If it's easier for you to eat or not eat, then do it; JUDDD will be here for you whenever it's a good time. Ask your friends or family to help you get around or do errands like shopping, if your toe makes walking or driving painful. And post here whenever you need support; there are so many kind people here who clearly know and love you. Maybe the daily chat thread here would be helpful in giving you regular contact with those who can't be with you in person but care for you here. I hope that things get better for you in many ways, very soon.

[Carly]

Sending more and your way!

[C'Marie]

Only LOVE For you from me....


and I won't say what I'm thinking about him.

[Alcestis]

My heart goes out to you. This too shall pass, and you'll be stronger and wiser for it. But right now, it hurts, and it's okay to feel the hurt. You'll move through it and onto better times

[zipp2play]

I pray that this is the year that all turns around for you! I am sorry you are having such a tough time!

[vanilla_latte]

Thinking of you, Vil!

In the midst of pain it's so hard to see or believe that happy days, blue skies, and rainbows are ahead. BUT .. they ARE there, I (we) promise!!!

[Shari4]

Sending another your way for today!

[deedee]

Oh you poor thing. I can totally relate to not being able to eat when heartbreak happens. Do whatever you can to take care of yourself honey. It's a cliche, but it's true, the only thing that can heal this is time. But in the meanwhile, pamper yourself in whatever ways you can, physically and emotionally.

[LoCarbGal]

Just checking in, Vil. How are you doing?

[Kissa]

Yes, we are all thinking of you I know.

[Librarygirl]

Thinking of you and sending happy/strong vibes your way.Keep checking in and let us know how you're doing.

[vilanteira]

Thank you ladies so much for your kindness, and thinking of me and checking in. I'm better, still recovering and not able to walk yet (relying heavily on friends since family lives on the other side of the country), but starting to feel some motivation to move on and figure out my priorities.

Went from not being able to sleep at all to sleeping way too much, which is strange for me, but maybe I'm really tired? Still not eating that much. Reading a lot though, books, internet, whatever I can get my hands on to try and give me some sort of direction with both career and getting over heartbreak. Also talking the ears off of my two closest friends, bless them. Keeping busy and having constant distraction really does help my mind from going to a bad place.

I actually gained a couple pounds despite not eating. Oh well, JUDDD will get things back to normal eventually. I just need a break from counting and constant strict meal planning right now.

[LoCarbGal]

You're doing great dealing with all the different issues. I can't tell how strong you are just by reading your posts. You're determined. This isn't going to get you down in the long term.

[svenskamae]

Sleeping more than usual can be a coping mechanism or a sign of depression, don't worry about it and let your body do what it needs to do. Getting support from your good friends, keeping distracted, planning for the future--those are all good things to get you through this difficult time. You have plenty of time to do counting and meal planning on JUDDD later; just take care of yourself now. And thanks for letting us know how you are doing--please keep checking in.

[Flossyliz]

Dear Vila, what an awful time you've been having!
It's good to hear you sounding so strong and I'm glad you have good friends around to help and support you.
Do be gentle with yourself. Eventually you'll be able to look back and see the good that's bound to come out of all this.
Sending you lots of love and best wishes

[gotsomeold]

Thanks for checking in with us. You are in my heart and prayers.

[Carly]

Yes- thank you for popping in to tell us how you are!

[DD80]

I just read this. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time! I've been there and it's terrible. You will be stronger - it just takes time. Don't beat yourself up too much!

[sunday]

[LoCarbGal]

Just checking in to see how you're doing. And to send fresh

[vilanteira]

Despite my completely failed DD turned UD yesterday which included 750 cals of potato chips (which is not nearly as many chips as you'd think ), I'm doing alright. I think I've watched enough tv shows and movies and read enough books/articles to last a lifetime though! I'm able to sort of limp around at home on one side of that foot now, though still using crutches for the most part to try not to disturb the healing.

As for emotionally, I'm starting to question my sanity as I'll sometimes start the day feeling somewhat up and hopeful, yet literally within a few hours be in tears and sure that the world is ending, or vice versa. I've never had such drastic mood swings in my entire life, certainly not this many back and forth practically daily. I'm wondering if this is normal? Temporary?

Most of all though, I just wanted to send return and to all of you beautiful Buds and sincerely hope that everyone is doing well.

[KeirasMom]

However you feel is "normal" and don't ever think otherwise. We all deal with things our own way. When my first marriage ended, I did not get out of bed for 3 days except to use the restroom. I didn't shower. I didn't eat. It was awful. I was a mess. When I returned to work, things got a little better, but it was months before I came out of my fog and started to feel human again. It is what it is. All you can do is try to take it one minute at a time sometimes.

[Luna Loca]

Vila

I would think your emotional swings are normal...you are healing. One thing I have found that decreases suffering is to accept when you are having a feeling. It's just a feeling, it doesn't mean anything. If you're sad today, it just means that you're sad. It's okay. It doesn't mean that you're crazy, or defective, or broken, or that you're going to feel like this forever. Go ahead and be sad. The feeling will change and then you'll feel something else for a while.

When I'm going through stuff, I like to think of a little kid. Little kids can have quite stormy emotions--but they have them, and then they move through them onto something else. And they don't question themselves about why they feel the way they do or what it means that they feel the way they do--why do we do that? They just feel the feelings and then move on to something else. I can learn a lot from that.

Here's some more

[LoCarbGal]

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing, Vil. What Dawn said is right on. Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. What you are going through is absolutely normal. Your being stuck at home probably is not the best mental therapy, but it is what it is with your injury. I'm glad it's healing, although I'm sure not fast enough for you!

You're doing great, and I'm so proud of you for keeping your head up. What is it they say..."Fake it until you make it." I have found it to work sometimes. You can fool yourself into believing everything is fine, even just sometimes, until all of a sudden, it is fine.

[stephdray]

Originally Posted by deedee

Oh you poor thing. I can totally relate to not being able to eat when heartbreak happens. Do whatever you can to take care of yourself honey. It's a cliche, but it's true, the only thing that can heal this is time. But in the meanwhile, pamper yourself in whatever ways you can, physically and emotionally.

What she said.

Be selfish right now.

And read lots of romance books--you can find free ones all over the internet. They are non-threatening, will make you smile, and help you see yourself to a better place in love.