I have managed to make myself depressed

[adillenal]

Never thought that purging my too large clothes would throw me into a pity party but it has. I was trying to make room for my smaller stuff, declutter and try to clean all at the same time. Some of the things that I just HAD to let go were my favorite items. My beautiful long sleeved red dress that I always wore at Christmas with the shiny gold buttons. Gone. All of my favorite jeans are in the bag too. I could fill more bags but stopped because I was getting all mopey and I don't need that.

I have plenty of smaller clothes but I had attachements to those that are just way too big to even think about trying to wear. And I know how to alter but am not going to all that trouble when I have way more clothes than I can ever wear.

As soon as DH goes to town, they will be out of the house and he will drop them in one of those donation boxes so someone hopefully will be able to use them. I am still going through the undies though since those go into the trash. And I sure don't need those baggy saggy things any longer.

Onward. DS will be home this evening from Fort Benning, GA so I will have a reason to be a happy soul but for now I am sad.

[sunday]

Awww, Adi. Maybe DH or DS will have a special something for your Christmas that will take your mind off this sadness.

I hope you don't mind that I find this flat out bizarre! I am doing the same thing. I call it my pre-Spring cleaning, I am getting rid of all of the sizes that I have shed. I have so much fun giving away my clothes and while going through them, I envision someone else being able to enjoy the outfit. It is therapeutic for me. We are all so different.

[LoCarbGal]

Aw Adi.

Sometimes those feelings come out of the most unexpected places and really slap us down. It's particularly unnerving to feel sad about something that should be happy, but it does happen. I have a few pieces that I know I'm going to be sad to let go. I'm just getting back into them now, but know by next winter they'll be history, so I do understand.

I think that red dress is worth altering. Too late for this year, but next year it could be all ready to go. It sounds beautiful. Hoping you get to feeling better about it all soon. And I'm glad your son will be home soon. That'll make everything better, and I'll bet he's so proud of you for your new trim look.

[mom23kids]

[angie1]

awwww

I fully understand this. Years ago I had lost a lot of weight and gave all my "big" clothes to my cousin -- they were expensive beautiful clothes. Every time I would see her wearing my outfits, my heart would melt a bit. To the point that I would go out and buy something new and TIGHT (lol) to make me feel better.

Just think of it as a new leaf and go out and splurge on new tighter and SMALLER sizes woohoo!

[Joyjoy]

[TryingJudd]

It was definitely an activity that provoked mixed emotions for me but I felt it was really healthy to let go - even my favorite, damn cute outfits reminded me of the size I used to be and I don't want to look backwards, only forwards. I am still in WLM but since you are at goal why not treat yourself to something special, something you might not have worn before in your now oh-so-small size? I know that would cheer me up!! Hope your family and holidays lighten the mood soon.

[adillenal]

Thanks for all of the suggestions. I did buy some new tops a few weeks ago since I seem to have plenty of pants but not many small tops. Guess I can go put one of those on and cheer myself up.
And I am enjoying wearing my smaller sizes that I am working my way down to. It just surprised me that letting go would be so difficult.
The strangest things affect us sometimes.
And now I got DH started. He has lost a lot of weight in the past year without trying. Men. Anyway he has purged two big garbage sacks of pants that are too big and on the other hand a bunch that are too small that he knows he will NEVER fit into again. He is as happy as a clam trying on pants and tossing them in piles. Guess when they all look alike (khakis) there isn't much attachment. He did ask me to put a blue striped polo shirt in the bag that he is just plain tired of. He says it won't wear out.

[Carly]

I haven't really let anything go, just packed it up and put it way high in a closet, because truthfully... I'm afraid I will need it again. I once lost 110 pounds only to gain about 80 back 5 yrs later. I'm not sure what to do with all that stuff, but I think it's a sign of health that you are ready to let it go.

[adillenal]

Originally Posted by Carly

I haven't really let anything go, just packed it up and put it way high in a closet, because truthfully... I'm afraid I will need it again. I once lost 110 pounds only to gain about 80 back 5 yrs later. I'm not sure what to do with all that stuff, but I think it's a sign of health that you are ready to let it go.

Carly - I found a closet full of large sizes recently that I did not even remember keeping since it is a closet that isn't in our house. I could have been wearing those for the past three years. Now I need to go out and go through that closet too. BUT I had enough clothes to wear so I didn't get rid of everything in 2003 either so I had a safey net also so I know how you feel. The only things I bought were jeans (in much larger sizes) and some khaki pants. I had just reached the point where I wore the same five outfits over and over until I found JUDDD.

[Carly]

Originally Posted by adillenal

Carly - I found a closet full of large sizes recently that I did not even remember keeping since it is a closet that isn't in our house. I could have been wearing those for the past three years. Now I need to go out and go through that closet too. BUT I had enough clothes to wear so I didn't get rid of everything in 2003 either so I had a safey net also so I know how you feel. The only things I bought were jeans (in much larger sizes) and some khaki pants. I had just reached the point where I wore the same five outfits over and over until I found JUDDD.

I don't have a whole lot either. I had about 7 work tops and about 5 pairs of stretchy pants and about 4 weekend outfits. So I can justify saving the few things I had while enjoying the start of fitting back into my previous wardrobe.

[gotsomeold]

Isn't it amazing how humans associate emotions with objects??? Revisit the object, relive the emotion. Pity there is no practical way to scrapbook entire pieces of clothing.

Adi. Moving forward is never easy. I agree, get dressed up and go buy something new for Christmas. Make new memories.

[Carly]

Originally Posted by gotsomeold

Isn't it amazing how humans associate emotions with objects??? Revisit the object, relive the emotion. Pity there is no practical way to scrapbook entire pieces of clothing.

Adi. Moving forward is never easy. I agree, get dressed up and go buy something new for Christmas. Make new memories.

This is true and for some people it is very problematic- like in hoarding. I do not have any good memories connected to any of my oversize garments. I am sitting here and picturing them and saying I really, really, hope I will never, ever need them, but I'm worried that getting rid of them would be a jinx. I'm not normally like that, but I also won't get my rings sized because I'm afraid if I do I will stop losing or gain. I know, that is rediculous, right?

Adi- you gave me a lot to think about with this thread...

[Shari4]

Adi, I do understand!! Maybe the next round of disposing of too big clothes won't be so difficult for you! Enjoy your Christmas with your family. That always puts me in a good mood!

[mykidsteacher]

I went through this with some of the things I got rid of too. I went through a time of being pretty depressed a few years ago. For my birthday, my mom took me out for a day of pampering--massage, mani/pedi, lunch and shopping. She bought me several new items of clothing (my wardrobe was pretty stale, and we were too broke to buy new). I LOVED the things we bought. Getting rid of them was really hard. Some of the things, I regifted to her, since she was also losing and had made it to the size I ungrew.

And I did it in stages. I got rid of the things that were easiest to let go of first (not only didn't fit, but also out of date or I didn't like much). The next round, a few months later, I was ready to let go of more. And finally, just a couple months ago, was able to let go of the rest. I did keep a few 6's, jic. But anything bigger than that is gone. And I don't intend to need those 6's either.

Enjoy the time with your ds. The clothes may be gone, but the memories will remain.

[sorenkkg]

Adi. Truly a blessing but I know how you feel. I have clothes that I *know* I will be throwing out, but I'm waiting till I fit in them, and then will have to do what you are doing and let it go.

I wonder too, this is maybe a (subconscious?) mourning for the you you once were.

Letting go of the clothes, of the weight, of the issues (with food and/or in life) that got you to that higher weight that you obviously have conquered in order to maintain at your current weight.
This is maybe the trigger if you hadn't (or even if you had) processed those feelings before.

Feel them. Be a bit sad.
And then enjoy your DS coming home! And, you will have so many new memories in your new smaller clothes!

but if there's 1 thing (or 2?) that you want to keep and alter, go for it.

again! Merry Christmas!
S.

[adillenal]

Thanks all. DS arrived last night and stayed home for 23 minutes, piled all kinds of "stuff" in the front hall and departed. At least I know he is somehwere close.
I am glad to find out that letting go of certain clothing items can be stressful. Maybe I picked the wrong time of the year to purge. BUT I get off work for 2 weeks and thought I could get a lot done iin that department. I still have more but the good thing is that DH FINALLY gave away some things that have been taking up at least 1/2 of a large closet for many years. He did better than I did. Now that was hard to admit.

[Librarygirl]

Men don't form attachments to things like we do (unless it's something they can use), so it's no wonder he did "better" than you. I understand how you feel. If I pause to think about all the money I've spent on my plus-size clothes, it *is* painful to think about getting rid of it. However, some of my prettiest things that I used to adore I now realize were just nice colors, and not clothes that looked especially nice on me. Or at least not nearly as nice as smaller clothes on a smaller me. I really hope I have to clear out my closet completely one day. Keeping everything because it still fits would be much worse, IMO.

[alonewithyou]

I just want to say that your body looks rocking! And I think now you can wear just about ANYTHING and look amazing!

Merry Christmas, and a happy new year!

[route66]

Originally Posted by gotsomeold

Isn't it amazing how humans associate emotions with objects??? Revisit the object, relive the emotion. Pity there is no practical way to scrapbook entire pieces of clothing.

Adi. Moving forward is never easy. I agree, get dressed up and go buy something new for Christmas. Make new memories.

Thank you for sharing...helps me to frame my holiday visit with the family - always brings up conflicting emotions...

We are so complicated...even though you may have some negative feelings regarding weight or size or how you felt about your body image, etc when you wore those clothes, you probably had some very good experiences, wonderful memories and positive emotions as well. No one wants to throw out the baby with the bathwater... embrace the positive, release the negative, cherish your experience whatever direction it takes you.

(I'm really posting this to remind me how to look at things...LOL)