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Old 12-13-2012, 01:35 PM   #1
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Are you "comfortable in your skin"?

Sometimes I am and sometimes I am absolutely not!

Today I was trying on shoes. The black pants I'm wearing to the party tomorrow night are too long with flat pumps, so I wanted to try on a pair of suede boots I hardly ever wear and a pair of Mary Jane type pumps with a mid-high heel and rhinestones.

I bought those over a year and a half ago for a wedding and only wore them during the ceremony because at 230 pounds, I couldn't stand wearing heels!

When I sat down to buckle them, I turned and caught sight of my sitting profile in the full length closet mirror. UGH!

Standing up I have a nice flat tummy. When I sit down, it poofs out and I look like Humpty Dumpty.

This has me feeling bad right now.

The shoes are great and I can't believe they feel so good. I walked all over the house in them and even outside on the driveway. Amazing that losing weight can be so good for my feet!

Why do I look so fat when I sit down? I remember seeing a picture of myself sitting on a boat beside two of my grand babies a while back. I was heavier then but OMGosh! It was horrible looking.

Have I fooled myself into thinking I look OK when I'm still a blimp??

What is this schizo emotion that has me feeling great about my progress and my body one day and then a voice in my head saying "forget it! You are a blob and always will be!"

Now I feel like I need to lose 1000 more pounds before I look normal.

OK, sorry about venting.

I just need someone to tell me I'm not the only one who has these kinds of flip flop feelings.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:38 PM   #2
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On a better topic, though, I've been exploding with energy today. I've been cleaning windows and blinds, decluttering, cleaning closets, doing laundry. I feel like there's no stopping me with all this energy. Has to be JUDD magic.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:43 PM   #3
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Oh my gosh, I'm right there with ya! At my lowest weight 160 lbs 5'5, I felt great! And I worked hard to get to that weight. But I sat down next to a mirror once and was horrified by what I saw! I'm working hard now to get back to that weight after many pregnancies. All I can say is be proud of how far you've come, and all the weight you've lost! We are always so critical about our own bodies, but I bet you no one else sees all our flaws like we do when we are looking in a mirror. I have a love/hate relationship with my mirror, and maybe one day, I will not care what I see in the mirror. I think we all need to be less hard on ourselves!
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:45 PM   #4
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I feel your pain! I too look thin in the tummy standing, sitting not so pretty either Try laying on your bed, do you notice when you lay on your side that your slack material is just hanging That is bacause you have indeed lost weight!

I just love to lay on my bed with my clothes on

Leona
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:45 PM   #5
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You are not at ALL alone in feeling this.

I'm of the opinion that we berate ourselves mentally for being overweight -- consciously or not -- to the point that, even with positive signs of weight loss, we remain emotionally fragile and not fully accepting of our 'new' body. We're still adapting to the new reflection in the mirror and how it compares to our internal view of ourselves.

It doesn't take much to break the positivity, and some (like me) almost seek out the flaws....I'm used to it, I expect it, it's my comfort zone.

Just like any form of negative thinking, you may need to make a conscious effort to reject finding fault with your body. It may take a while.

When I fell off the Atkins wagon last year, all it really took was over-analyzing some progress photos of myself and thinking it was all futile. I couldn't accept that I was a work in progress and that 'perfection' is an illusion and not an attainable goal.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:55 PM   #6
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Oh Yam, there are days when I feel great and I love looking in mirrors or catching my reflection in a window . . . and then there are other days when all I see is how far I have yet to go. Or trying on clothes and realizing that all this extra skin is going to be there forever, no matter what I do. It can be truly depressing. I just have to remind myself where I was with my weight last year, and it helps. You've done so great at living your life and keeping off the weight, even with blips along the way, you're still way ahead of where you were last year.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:09 PM   #7
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I can relate!

I had a photo taken w/ me kneeling by my dogs and I deleted it as soon as I saw it, because it was hideous.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:10 PM   #8
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Hugs

We are all too critical of ourselves as others have said. You have not gained that much since I saw you and you looked great then!

With a pretty top and your fancy shoes you will look smashing!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:16 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leonak View Post
I just love to lay on my bed with my clothes on

Leona
Don't ever take a pic this way! Jus sayin.
Look, I love laying on a bed, but if you see what your face tends to do. My goodness I scare myself sometimes.

Last edited by sunday; 12-13-2012 at 02:22 PM..
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:28 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunday View Post
Don't ever take a pic this way! Jus sayin.
Look, I love laying on a bed, but if you see what your face tends to do. My goodness I scare myself sometimes.
Are you saying you HAVE taken a picture of yourself laying on your bed? Whatever for? Now you've done it. I'll be thinking about THAT until I do it!!!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:37 PM   #11
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Good god yes - some days thinking - hold on this is a respectable size - look at these clothes I am now wearing that I could not wear - I must be thinner. Then catch sight - sitting down - stomach boobs and thighs all national geographic and want to end it! Is it a perennial part of being a woman? I truly hope not just got to keep looking back - it's too easy to acclimatise and think hmmm I'm not 100% happy. We need to keep one eye on where we have been to ensure perspective cx
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:43 PM   #12
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I LOVE YOU MY BUDDS!!! I've read over each post at least 5 times. You just make me feel so accepted the way I am. What a good feeling that is.

Standing here folding laundry a few minutes ago, lots of thoughts were running through my head.

Seems like a long time ago when I was super skinny but I thought I was fat. Looking back at my skinny pictures I wonder what the heck I was thinking. For a minute I was remembering those days and wishing I could have them back.

But, NO! I don't! This is a great time of life in so many ways. My grand kids love me so much, just the way I am. My DH is thrilled with me. Just the way I am.

Health is more important than so many things. Maybe more important than anything and I have good health, just the way I am.

When I think of all the people I see on the news who are still suffering from the effects of hurricane Sandy and all they have lost, I'm ashamed of all that I have and all I am blessed with.

BTW I copied down a website this morning when I saw a story about a woman who is collecting toys and money to buy toys for all the children who won't be having Christmas this year because their homes were wiped out. I'm definitely going to donate to that site. It was a wonderful and uplifting story. Gonna run it by DH and settle on an amount.

Anyway, I was just about to say that you are all so wonderful and seem to have your heads on straight. And, now I'm feeling a bit foolish for focusing so much on myself and flaws instead of all the blessings in this beautiful life.

However, I learned a long time ago that "feelings are not right or wrong. they just ARE." So, it won't help for me to bash myself for feeling temporarily bad about my fat looking sitting profile.

Wonder if I can stand up while I eat dinner at the Christmas party tomorrow night? (I know that's what I will be thinking). I'll be afraid to sit.

Good thing is the country club where dinner will be served has dim lights and they decorate the tables beautifully for Christmas using long, thick burgundy table cloths and huge linen napkins. I'll sit down real fast and (since DH always pulls out my chair for me) I'll have him scoot me in really far, cover up with the big napkin and long table cloth and hope no one can see my belly.

Last edited by Yam-Yam; 12-13-2012 at 02:47 PM..
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:43 PM   #13
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There are some days I'd give anything for a week's vacation at the International Space Station...just to see if life in zero gravity made a difference in my self esteem.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:45 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
Are you saying you HAVE taken a picture of yourself laying on your bed? Whatever for? Now you've done it. I'll be thinking about THAT until I do it!!!
NO! I looked up at a mirror that was over the bed. (Long story) but it was a vacation and yes, I was horrified! If I saw such a scary reflection, I can just imagine what a photo would look like.
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:51 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
I LOVE YOU MY BUDDS!!! I've read over each post at least 5 times. You just make me feel so accepted the way I am. What a good feeling that is.

Health is more important than so many things. Maybe more important than anything and I have good health, just the way I am.
However, I learned a long time ago that "feelings are not right or wrong. they just ARE." So, it won't help for me to bash myself for feeling temporarily bad about my fat looking sitting profile.
Right there with you!!!

Quote:
Wonder if I can stand up while I eat dinner at the Christmas party tomorrow night? (I know that's what I will be thinking). I'll be afraid to sit.
Yes, I do this sometimes!

You and I think so much alike, that I LOL!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:53 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mariannewww View Post
Good god yes - some days thinking - hold on this is a respectable size - look at these clothes I am now wearing that I could not wear - I must be thinner. Then catch sight - sitting down - stomach boobs and thighs all national geographic and want to end it! Is it a perennial part of being a woman? I truly hope not just got to keep looking back - it's too easy to acclimatise and think hmmm I'm not 100% happy. We need to keep one eye on where we have been to ensure perspective cx

And look at YOU! You are so tiny and soooooo beautiful...and young! You are very wise as well.

I got rid of all my big clothes. I love going into my closet and pulling out clothes that are size 12 instead of size 18. So, I'll probably look better when I lose enough to be comfortable in a 10 or an 8. So what. You are right. Look where I was and where I am now.

......"all national geographic"....... You are so great!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:54 PM   #17
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Quote:
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There are some days I'd give anything for a week's vacation at the International Space Station...just to see if life in zero gravity made a difference in my self esteem.
YES!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:56 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunday View Post
NO! I looked up at a mirror that was over the bed. (Long story) but it was a vacation and yes, I was horrified! If I saw such a scary reflection, I can just imagine what a photo would look like.
Thank you for that!! OK, I'm going from depressed to hysterical laughing! You guys are such a hoot!
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Old 12-13-2012, 02:57 PM   #19
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Thank you for that!! OK, I'm going from depressed to hysterical laughing! You guys are such a hoot!
You would laugh even more if I told you the story. It was the honeymoon suite and it wasn't our honeymoon. BOY oh boy, is it a doozie.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:01 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabreezes View Post
Hugs

We are all too critical of ourselves as others have said. You have not gained that much since I saw you and you looked great then!

With a pretty top and your fancy shoes you will look smashing!
Here is me and you, Seabreezes! (I'm wearing those same black pants tomorrow night. Size 12. Still comfortable. And, as long as I'm standing, my tummy is FLAT in them!

Oh, and you are even thinner than you were then and YOU LOOK GREAT my Budd!!!

LunchCruscos2012 003.jpg
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:03 PM   #21
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Quote:
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You would laugh even more if I told you the story. It was the honeymoon suite and it wasn't our honeymoon. BOY oh boy, is it a doozie.
Would love it if you would PM the story to me! K?

Or, I'll PM you my email.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:04 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
Here is me and you, Seabreezes! (I'm wearing those same black pants tomorrow night. Size 12. Still comfortable. And, as long as I'm standing, my tummy is FLAT in them!

Oh, and you are even thinner than you were then and YOU LOOK GREAT my Budd!!!

Attachment 47529
^^Beautiful, ladies
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:20 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunday View Post
You would laugh even more if I told you the story. It was the honeymoon suite and it wasn't our honeymoon. BOY oh boy, is it a doozie.
This is such a tease!!! We ALL want to know!

Mirrors on the ceiling

Leona - will get a hand mirror when I lay on the bed to see what I've been missing
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:42 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
Are you saying you HAVE taken a picture of yourself laying on your bed? Whatever for? Now you've done it. I'll be thinking about THAT until I do it!!!
She was trying to take a sexy pic for that special someone.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:43 PM   #25
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I so know how you feel. Sometimes my husband asks me if I will ever be happy with my body, even when I reach my goal weight/size. I told him that I honestly don't know because I've never been there! He is always so complimentary of me and tells me how pretty I am to him so I feel like a jerk complaining and like it somehow invalidates his feelings.

Some days I look in the mirror and I know that I am smaller, but I think I am just a smaller blob version of the big blob I used to be. The thing is, I don't want to be a blob at all!

I think maybe the key is to listen to the positive voices in life (whether it is spouses, friends, JUDDD BUDDDs) and not let the negative self-doubt seep in. Otherwise, it will drive you crazy! It is hard to draw the line between self-motivation (and not just throwing in the towel in) and self-destruction (always seeing the negatives and changes that we need to make).

Yam-Yam - You are beautiful and have done such an amazing job of getting healthier and fit in the last year! Don't let those sitting pics get you down!
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:49 PM   #26
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Try looking at yourself sitting down naked!!! Haha, then you will think you look fantastic clothed. I am, of course, referring to myself. I'm sure you look fabulous naked.

But, No, I am not comfortable in my own skin yet. In fact, Tuesday, I was thinking I looked so nice and slim in a snug black knit top and gray pants. I went to a bathroom at work that I don't normally use, with a longer mirror and saw myself down to my thighs and my pants were all lumpy looking around the middle. Sometimes I have more confidence in myself if I *don't* see my reflection.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:49 PM   #27
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I have a mirror horror story that you all might enjoy.

I work in a school system in Ohio that qualified for state money to construct new schools. Regrettably I was NOT on the design/selection committee. There were many restrictions and limitations by the state but we were all very excited and grateful for the beautiful new buildings.

When we moved in and began setting things us and sorting things out, I went into the staff bathroom to see if there was storage for female "necessities", ahem, and decided to take the opportunity to "go" since I was already there. Sat down on the toilet, looked up, and OMG there was a floor to ceiling mirror not three feet from the toilet! showing everything no one really needs to see. LOL. Yep, same story in every bathroom in every new building.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:52 PM   #28
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LOL Gello. I've been in hotels before that have a mirror like that. I'm always like what the heck were they thinking?!?!?!? I don't think ANYONE wants to see that.
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Old 12-13-2012, 03:56 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gello5440 View Post
I have a mirror horror story that you all might enjoy.

I work in a school system in Ohio that qualified for state money to construct new schools. Regrettably I was NOT on the design/selection committee. There were many restrictions and limitations by the state but we were all very excited and grateful for the beautiful new buildings.

When we moved in and began setting things us and sorting things out, I went into the staff bathroom to see if there was storage for female "necessities", ahem, and decided to take the opportunity to "go" since I was already there. Sat down on the toilet, looked up, and OMG there was a floor to ceiling mirror not three feet from the toilet! showing everything no one really needs to see. LOL. Yep, same story in every bathroom in every new building.
That is not just wrong.....that's almost criminal!!

I wonder if sales of Prozac have gone up since the construction ended...

Last edited by Rayne_W; 12-13-2012 at 03:58 PM..
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Old 12-13-2012, 05:57 PM   #30
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WOE: Low carb
Start Date: April 2014
Three years ago, I got down to 197, the lowest weight I've been since I was a teenager. And I felt every bit as miserable about my body as I do sitting here right now. There is something really wrong with that. And I think that is why I did not keep the weight off. I wasn't happy with myself even when I lost the weight, so I felt like, why keep struggling to lose more? So I gained it all back, plus ten.

It sounds cliche and corny, but it is really true. If you don't learn to be happy with all of your flaws, you're probably never going to be happy. I'm working on that right now, because JUDDD is working for me, and I don't want to throw this away like I did three years ago.
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Take the time to pull the weeds choking flowers in your life. -- Jerry Cantrell
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