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Old 12-13-2012, 06:01 PM   #31
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What I have noticed since I gained excess weight is that people don't compliment me anymore. I used to always get, "You look so good!" comments when I was thin, and now it's hardly ever said to me. I notice it because even when I compliment someone on their appearance, they don't reciprocate, lol. I was quite vain when I was small and it's taken a lot of mental strength to overcome feelings of inadequacy and disgust at myself for the way I am now. Sometimes I can, sometimes I absolutely cannot.
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Old 12-13-2012, 07:41 PM   #32
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Our master bath has a giant mirror opposite the toilet so you get the pleasure of being face to face with yourself from the knees up every time you're on the toilet. It's a rough thing to wake up to every morning. My husband and I both have talked about removing it forever but it hasn't happened yet.
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:02 PM   #33
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I'm baaaaaaack! Sorry I had to be gone and miss all this fun and introspection and great insight and advice! OMGosh! I don't even know where to begin, I have so many comments after reading all these marvelous and marvelously funny posts!

DH called me from work and asked me on a date. He really, really wanted to go to a movie and dinner and was leaving work early so we could catch the 4:50 p.m. show. I soooooo wanted to turn him down but he makes little puppy dog eyes and makes me feel bad when he asks me to do something fun and I say no. (He also knows I go Ga-Ga over Gerard Butler and it's his new movie, "Playing for Keeps".)

So, we went to the movie. It's a 25 mile drive each way. Pretty drive, though, past a gorgeous lake. Afterwards when he asked me where I wanted to go for dinner, I talked him into coming home for soup! (He ate soooooo much buttered movie popcorn I know he was full. I ate some too and that's one reason I didn't want to go! Temptation!)

I dressed up cute and thought I looked good. I felt good. So there. Neener-Neener-Neener, you nasty big mirrors with all your evil accusations!!!!....
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:41 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sdjade View Post
I so know how you feel. Sometimes my husband asks me if I will ever be happy with my body, even when I reach my goal weight/size. I told him that I honestly don't know because I've never been there! He is always so complimentary of me and tells me how pretty I am to him so I feel like a jerk complaining and like it somehow invalidates his feelings.

Some days I look in the mirror and I know that I am smaller, but I think I am just a smaller blob version of the big blob I used to be. The thing is, I don't want to be a blob at all!

I think maybe the key is to listen to the positive voices in life (whether it is spouses, friends, JUDDD BUDDDs) and not let the negative self-doubt seep in. Otherwise, it will drive you crazy! It is hard to draw the line between self-motivation (and not just throwing in the towel in) and self-destruction (always seeing the negatives and changes that we need to make).

Yam-Yam - You are beautiful and have done such an amazing job of getting healthier and fit in the last year! Don't let those sitting pics get you down!
Oh my. I can so relate to everything. Do you know what I said to DH tonight after the movie when he asked me which restaurant I'd like to go to??

"You know, Honey, sometimes I think you are trying to sabotoge me. You know I've been really, really good this week and have lost some of the vacation weight I had gained. Sometimes I think you just like fat girls and you want me to stay fat!"

I can be mean, huh?

Of course he complimented me and said I look great yada, yada, yada. Men don't get it. (Of course I would HATE it if he pointed out my flaws! OMGosh! I had not thought of that!)

YOU, my JUDD BUDD are not and never have been a blob. You are a beautiful strong woman who is taking charge of her health!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
Try looking at yourself sitting down naked!!! Haha, then you will think you look fantastic clothed. I am, of course, referring to myself. I'm sure you look fabulous naked.

But, No, I am not comfortable in my own skin yet. In fact, Tuesday, I was thinking I looked so nice and slim in a snug black knit top and gray pants. I went to a bathroom at work that I don't normally use, with a longer mirror and saw myself down to my thighs and my pants were all lumpy looking around the middle. Sometimes I have more confidence in myself if I *don't* see my reflection.
Oh NO!! I can't do it, I can't. I can look at myself from all sides standing up naked. I just don't think I could sit in that same spot where I was trying on the rhinestone shoes in the buff and look in that mirror. Wouldn't be prudent. Not gonna do it! (Dana Carvey impression).

Quote:
Originally Posted by gello5440 View Post
I have a mirror horror story that you all might enjoy.

I work in a school system in Ohio that qualified for state money to construct new schools. Regrettably I was NOT on the design/selection committee. There were many restrictions and limitations by the state but we were all very excited and grateful for the beautiful new buildings.

When we moved in and began setting things us and sorting things out, I went into the staff bathroom to see if there was storage for female "necessities", ahem, and decided to take the opportunity to "go" since I was already there. Sat down on the toilet, looked up, and OMG there was a floor to ceiling mirror not three feet from the toilet! showing everything no one really needs to see. LOL. Yep, same story in every bathroom in every new building.
What were they thinking? Never mind. It was probably designed, planned and executed by a guy. I can imagine what he was thinking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayne_W View Post
That is not just wrong.....that's almost criminal!!

I wonder if sales of Prozac have gone up since the construction ended...


Quote:
Originally Posted by seaofsand View Post
Three years ago, I got down to 197, the lowest weight I've been since I was a teenager. And I felt every bit as miserable about my body as I do sitting here right now. There is something really wrong with that. And I think that is why I did not keep the weight off. I wasn't happy with myself even when I lost the weight, so I felt like, why keep struggling to lose more? So I gained it all back, plus ten.

It sounds cliche and corny, but it is really true. If you don't learn to be happy with all of your flaws, you're probably never going to be happy. I'm working on that right now, because JUDDD is working for me, and I don't want to throw this away like I did three years ago.
Yes! KUTGW, too! We will never, ever be flawless. That is what is so wrong with airbrushed models being displayed in magazines and on TV. Just not real. Not attainable.

You know what I love? The commercials on TV for "The Wounded Warrior Project." Those heroes are truly beautiful. Some of them had limbs blown off or noses or faces. Yet there is wondrous beauty in who they are and what they have sacrificed.

I'm getting off track, I know. But there are many things that can make us feel better about who we are and where we are at in this journey.

I 'm getting too far off track so will stop now. You all know what I mean, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
What I have noticed since I gained excess weight is that people don't compliment me anymore. I used to always get, "You look so good!" comments when I was thin, and now it's hardly ever said to me. I notice it because even when I compliment someone on their appearance, they don't reciprocate, lol. I was quite vain when I was small and it's taken a lot of mental strength to overcome feelings of inadequacy and disgust at myself for the way I am now. Sometimes I can, sometimes I absolutely cannot.
We had a thread a while ago where I remember we were discussing being "invisible" when we are heavier.

Young and thin, I used to walk into a department store and sales people would come running to me whether it was a good looking guy in the shoe department or a lady in the lingerie section.

After my back injury and then the onset of menopause and my weight started to rise, I would walk into those same stores and sales people would look right through me. It was like I was the invisible woman. They wouldn't say a word, wouldn't ask me if I needed assistance.

Now that I'm getting thinner again, even though I'm older, I'm getting the attention from sales people. In fact everyone seems to go out of their way to speak to me everywhere and joke and interact and smile. Really a noticeable difference.

I think maybe the only day I felt serious self-disgust was the morning of Aug. 1st 2011 when I stepped on the scale and saw the highest number in my life. I literally cried for 2 hours!

Thankfully it spurred me on to start getting healthier that very day. I guess we can use everything, every emotion for good if we work at it, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs S View Post
Our master bath has a giant mirror opposite the toilet so you get the pleasure of being face to face with yourself from the knees up every time you're on the toilet. It's a rough thing to wake up to every morning. My husband and I both have talked about removing it forever but it hasn't happened yet.
I would put a blanket over it! Or, can you paint or wallpaper a mirror surface? After the way I felt this morning, I can honestly say I would be back in bed every morning with the covers over my head! LOL!
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Old 12-14-2012, 02:47 AM   #35
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Yep. Been there. Am there. GOT to start some exercises targeting specific areas.

However having reached, and passed, 'a certain age' I find I no longer define happiness as achieving a body shape that is genetically so not-gonna-happen.
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Old 12-14-2012, 03:49 AM   #36
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Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be totally comfortable in my skin My three pregnancies wreaked havoc on my legs-horrible varicose and spider veins. I also had a blood clot in my right leg this spring and the skin is still discolored from that. So, even if I magically became a size two, I'd still feel awkward. Totally silly I know, but ugh they really bug me For the rest of my body-I definitely don't feel as frumpy as I did before I started losing weight, but I don't feel super great yet either-my biggest challenge, even more than losing weight, is going to be toning. I have a lot of flab in my arms, back, butt and thighs. After I hit goal weight then I'm going to really work on toning (my summer project!).
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Old 12-14-2012, 04:56 AM   #37
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I think I DO feel comfortable in my skin. Course I am older and I have so many other things to obsess about to keep my mind busy.
Time seems to take care of most issues. I am truly happy with everything about me and in my life right now.
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Old 12-14-2012, 05:05 AM   #38
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There are days when I slip into my clothes, look in the mirror and am really happier than when I was thin and couldn't see it. Then I see a photo and see how far I need to go and it is so disillusioning. AS most my weight is in the tummy, straight on shots don't show this as much as angled or side shots. It is what it is. I think having been so much heavier allowed me to be greatful for where I am now and that is healthier thinking than when I was thin.
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:30 AM   #39
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Oh my goodness, this is a complicated, and emotional question. For me, the answer is a resounding "No" most of the time. I have these moments when I feel so much better at 80 pounds lighter, and I think how much better I'm looking. But really, with almost 100 pounds to go, I'm not looking so good. I feel so great about my accomplishment so far, but then I'll see someone who hasn't seen me since I was much lighter than I am now and they're thinking "What happened to her?" They have no idea how much worse it was (and I don't really want them to!)

I think one thing we all probably need to work hard on - I know I do - is our posture. Even when thin, slouching makes us look poochy and baggy. We need to concentrate on standing and sitting tall, pushing our shoulders back and our chest out, and contracting those abs. Hold that head up high. Not only does holding our bodies like that make us look better, it also makes us feel more confident.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:19 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoCarbGal View Post
Oh my goodness, this is a complicated, and emotional question. For me, the answer is a resounding "No" most of the time. I have these moments when I feel so much better at 80 pounds lighter, and I think how much better I'm looking. But really, with almost 100 pounds to go, I'm not looking so good. I feel so great about my accomplishment so far, but then I'll see someone who hasn't seen me since I was much lighter than I am now and they're thinking "What happened to her?" They have no idea how much worse it was (and I don't really want them to!)

I think one thing we all probably need to work hard on - I know I do - is our posture. Even when thin, slouching makes us look poochy and baggy. We need to concentrate on standing and sitting tall, pushing our shoulders back and our chest out, and contracting those abs. Hold that head up high. Not only does holding our bodies like that make us look better, it also makes us feel more confident.
That's a really good point! I have a tendency to slouch as it is, so this is something I need to work on. It's so bad that if I'm doing a lot of driving during a day I actually end up adjusting my rear view mirror down part way through, because I kind of sink
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:25 AM   #41
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I have to add to this thread.. I feel the same way.. Funny thing the other day.. My dh and i were talking about how i have more fat days then feel good days,, and i have always said, "some packages look better wrapped" and so he told me .. Honey,, You are not a package that is for sale any more, and i loved my wrapped package, you look hot, to me.And thats all that counts." This is the first time in our marriage my DH has actaully said somthing like this to me.. He has always discribed me to people he knows as a large woman with beautiful eyes, definally no model but not an ugly woman.. Some times his brutal honesty gets to me.. So for him to tell me now, he himself thinks "im hot" I guess i must be then?!?... I had to show him how i have stand up clothes and sit down clothes He never knew there was a differance, but he now see's there is... I have so much ugly rolls of flesh all over my body that remind me how much weight ive lost.. But every time i pass a mirror.. i see that ole girl staring back at me,, she has a huge butt, and an even larger muffin!!! This is by far the hardest part for me as i have journeyed... seeing a thinner person in the mirror .. My mind cant seam to catch uup either.. I went looking for my first pair of "skinny jeans" And to my shock.. i slipped into a 10!!! With a tad of wiggle room.. I went on the hunt then for more pants in size 8-10 and felt as if the manifacturers have some how managed to make pants larger now a days.. cuz there is NO WAY IN HECK that could be the true size of my BUTT!!.. Its so hard to not reach for size 20's and "hope" they look ok on me.. Its been so bizar to try on things now in the "normal" peoples section... When i pass a mirror and say,, who are you kidding... you are NOT that small!.. I could have cryed when i read your heartfelt wounded post.. cuz i hear my own pain in your words... Some day dear.. you and I.. And what looks like the rest of this group.. we will find peace and love in our self images! Many hugs and lots of love to you Yam YAm and to all of the JUDDD BUDDS
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:31 AM   #42
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Great post Kimberly. And, congrats on the size 10s.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sterlinggirl View Post
Honey,, You are not a package that is for sale any more, and i loved my wrapped package, you look hot, to me.And thats all that counts.
Your hubby sounds very sweet. It is so nice to hear words like that from the ones we love.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:00 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sterlinggirl View Post
I have to add to this thread.. I feel the same way.. Funny thing the other day.. My dh and i were talking about how i have more fat days then feel good days,, and i have always said, "some packages look better wrapped" and so he told me .. Honey,, You are not a package that is for sale any more, and i loved my wrapped package, you look hot, to me.And thats all that counts." This is the first time in our marriage my DH has actaully said somthing like this to me.. He has always discribed me to people he knows as a large woman with beautiful eyes, definally no model but not an ugly woman.. Some times his brutal honesty gets to me.. So for him to tell me now, he himself thinks "im hot" I guess i must be then?!?... I had to show him how i have stand up clothes and sit down clothes He never knew there was a differance, but he now see's there is... I have so much ugly rolls of flesh all over my body that remind me how much weight ive lost.. But every time i pass a mirror.. i see that ole girl staring back at me,, she has a huge butt, and an even larger muffin!!! This is by far the hardest part for me as i have journeyed... seeing a thinner person in the mirror .. My mind cant seam to catch uup either.. I went looking for my first pair of "skinny jeans" And to my shock.. i slipped into a 10!!! With a tad of wiggle room.. I went on the hunt then for more pants in size 8-10 and felt as if the manifacturers have some how managed to make pants larger now a days.. cuz there is NO WAY IN HECK that could be the true size of my BUTT!!.. Its so hard to not reach for size 20's and "hope" they look ok on me.. Its been so bizar to try on things now in the "normal" peoples section... When i pass a mirror and say,, who are you kidding... you are NOT that small!.. I could have cryed when i read your heartfelt wounded post.. cuz i hear my own pain in your words... Some day dear.. you and I.. And what looks like the rest of this group.. we will find peace and love in our self images! Many hugs and lots of love to you Yam YAm and to all of the JUDDD BUDDS
Beautiful post.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:01 PM   #44
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What a great thing for DH to say, Kimberly! It's wonderful that he feels that way, and nice that he (finally) shared that with you! You are beautiful!
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:19 PM   #45
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Nope...and prolly never will be. I have lots of issues to deal with...so until then I will live with them. I was at the store the other day...and tried on 16 non-stretch jeans...they were too big. I came home and raided my 12 & 14's...they fit! The 12's may not be the prettiest on, but they buttoned I have lots of tummy skin...I will have a total lower body lift eventually...then I imagine 8 & 10's will be my norm so far. Can't wait!!!! BUT...on some days, I do feel pretty good...I have to remind myself where I have come from. I, once was 411 lbs..., and end of 2011, I was 291 lbs., now I'm 172-175 lbs. This motivates me and keeps me going. I never want to reach that point again. If I dwell on how "bad" I THINK I look...I will end up back there. I have found that a lot of people have truly felt I look fabulous, and they mean it...so I have to remember that, also. Most people will not say anything to you unless they feel you look darn good & amazing...kwim?
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:20 PM   #46
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Well said, Kimberly. I'm glad dh is taking notice of his beautiful wife.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:24 PM   #47
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Wow, Angela! You have been on an amazing journey. How great you have done! To lose well over 200 pounds takes so much dedication and determination. When I get to my current goal of 140, I will have lost 178 pounds, and I know I can and will do it, and your story reinforces my own determination.
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Old 12-14-2012, 12:57 PM   #48
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:19 PM   #49
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I often feel the same. I will avoid mirrors (well full length ones) and if I go to public toilets I refuse to look up in the long mirrors at the sinks. Sometimes I can't help it and catch my reflection and I like what I see (seeing the weight I've lost) then the next day if I happen to see my reflection I think I look bigger and it gets me down.

Another time is when I try on new clothes. Not so much when trying them on (as long as they FIT), it's when I check them out in the mirror... I instantly see how much further I need to go and hate the way I look even though I've lost weight. All this is the main reason I avoid full length mirrors as much as possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
Sometimes I have more confidence in myself if I *don't* see my reflection.
Never thought of it like this but when I read this I was like YES that's so me.
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Old 12-15-2012, 12:58 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sterlinggirl View Post
I have to add to this thread.. I feel the same way.. Funny thing the other day.. My dh and i were talking about how i have more fat days then feel good days,, and i have always said, "some packages look better wrapped" and so he told me .. Honey,, You are not a package that is for sale any more, and i loved my wrapped package, you look hot, to me.And thats all that counts." This is the first time in our marriage my DH has actaully said somthing like this to me.. He has always discribed me to people he knows as a large woman with beautiful eyes, definally no model but not an ugly woman.. Some times his brutal honesty gets to me.. So for him to tell me now, he himself thinks "im hot" I guess i must be then?!?... I had to show him how i have stand up clothes and sit down clothes He never knew there was a differance, but he now see's there is... I have so much ugly rolls of flesh all over my body that remind me how much weight ive lost.. But every time i pass a mirror.. i see that ole girl staring back at me,, she has a huge butt, and an even larger muffin!!! This is by far the hardest part for me as i have journeyed... seeing a thinner person in the mirror .. My mind cant seam to catch uup either.. I went looking for my first pair of "skinny jeans" And to my shock.. i slipped into a 10!!! With a tad of wiggle room.. I went on the hunt then for more pants in size 8-10 and felt as if the manifacturers have some how managed to make pants larger now a days.. cuz there is NO WAY IN HECK that could be the true size of my BUTT!!.. Its so hard to not reach for size 20's and "hope" they look ok on me.. Its been so bizar to try on things now in the "normal" peoples section... When i pass a mirror and say,, who are you kidding... you are NOT that small!.. I could have cryed when i read your heartfelt wounded post.. cuz i hear my own pain in your words... Some day dear.. you and I.. And what looks like the rest of this group.. we will find peace and love in our self images! Many hugs and lots of love to you Yam YAm and to all of the JUDDD BUDDS
I could have basically written this whole post- this question is so loaded and honestly confusing... confounding perhaps. I feel better than I did at 200+ pounds, but not great. I look way better wrapped up as Kimberly said, but still not where I wish I was. I get a lot of compliments, but I only partially believe them. I have so much droopy, loose, skin and that does not make me feel good. I also feel like I lost weight unevenly. While a few body parts ought not get much thinner my stomach has a long way to go. DW says it's extra skin not fat and that I can't help that... hum... I would like to be a bit more insightful and say that it didn't really matter how I look unwrapped. No one but DW and my doc sees that, but I just wish I felt that this summer- when hopefully I've called goal that I would feel ready to put a swimsuit on- but I just don't know. I think I have been a bit more out going and not as introverted since I've lost weight so maybe a little less self conscious, but that might be the DD energy talking.
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Old 12-15-2012, 02:40 PM   #51
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I have to say from your pictures that you look fantastic Carly. I know all about the self-doubt and "I could look better" type of thinking, but you've come so far and that's so awesome.
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Old 12-15-2012, 03:32 PM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Librarygirl View Post
I have to say from your pictures that you look fantastic Carly. I know all about the self-doubt and "I could look better" type of thinking, but you've come so far and that's so awesome.
Thanks Cindy! I know it 's way better than before, but for today I'm still not able to feel comfortable in my skin when it comes to how I see myself and I will admit that my brain may still need to catch up to where my body is. That extra skin is just not cute.
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Old 12-16-2012, 04:13 AM   #53
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Carly i hear ya there on the swim suit thing... i really had hoped i would finally be able to wear a suit and feel great but.. the loose skin on my arms now has made it impossible to ever wear a suit now... its so sad that what i wanted most when i started is now goin to never happen... cute sleevles tops.. never goin to happen..even my fore arms have a sag boohoo... I just have to now look at the health bennifits of what i have done and not care about the rest.. it would take a total body lift to remove all that is saggy...i love all my judd budds and hope we can someday find peace within our victory over the weight war..
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Old 12-16-2012, 04:45 AM   #54
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What kind of money are we talking about when it comes to tummy tucks/lifts, etc. for the loose skin? Someone once said 17,000.00 but surely that is a bit high estimate?
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Old 12-16-2012, 06:03 AM   #55
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I was obese by the time I was 10, and I was raised to worry more about my weight than my character. I was told, "Only a sucker would want a fat girl" when I was a young teenager. (Needless to say, I've never encouraged my nonskinny daughter to diet!)

I'm now 225, and I feel more comfortable in my skin than at any time of my life. Even when I was 274 I felt more comfortable in my skin than I did at any other time of my life previously.

I have an ever supportive hubby who's help teach me that my size is far less important than being a nice person. Besides, not many of us look good naked. Don't you love clothes?! I know I do.

"Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:28 PM   #56
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Jen: Said so well by a true Proverb's 31 lady!
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:38 PM   #57
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All I have to say after going back and reading all your posts is that each and every one of you is an amazing woman! What we are on the inside does show on the outside, too, and that's so much more important than anything else.

You have all made me feel better and very accepted here. I'm not going to dwell on how I look sitting down! Who cares? It's not that important.

I had a blast at the office Christmas party. Proud of myself for not gorging on all the great food. Just enough to be happy and feel good. I had one bite of the gooey Chocolate death cake and pushed it away. Skipping dessert is not that hard after all.

I enjoyed 2 glasses of wine and had some kind of martini. I think it was cranberry martini. It was very strong and took me a long time to drink and that was my dessert.

Oh, and my shoes were great! It's only the second time I have worn them. Wow, what a difference weight loss makes when it comes to shoe comfort!

Last edited by Yam-Yam; 12-16-2012 at 02:39 PM..
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:46 PM   #58
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I'm so glad you had a good time, Yam yam!! I bet you look hawt too!! I hear you on shoe comfort...my feet have taken a beating from my weight gain. I have a very difficult time now finding shoes that I can actually wear comfortably. Looking forward to that not being as much of a problem.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:58 PM   #59
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Thanks! I felt pretty comfy in the outfit I chose. I looked in the full length mirror from all angles standing up of course. Couldn't see any noticeable lumps or bumps or muffin tops or saddle bags. Avoided the sitting down reflection! Don't need to see that again right now.
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Old 12-16-2012, 03:50 PM   #60
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My feet had blown up to a size 8! I am happily and comfortable back in my 7's. I had to donate or throw out every pair of 8's cause I could not keep them on my feet for the life of me- some were pretty cute. I can truly enjoy my stelletos again and let me say I probably have more than any respectable 36 yr old should have, but I love rocking them again. (For all of you wondering about how that effects my back, DW asked the surgeon at my last visit and he said that the shoes in NO WAY were causing harm or contibuting to the pain I kinda wanted him to put it in writing so I could get it notarized since people are always giving me greif about the high heels). Yam- Yam, I'm glad you had a blast and enjoyed wearing your shoes!
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