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Old 10-22-2012, 11:17 AM   #1
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Fessing up and facing myself

I have been maintaining for several months now in the upper 160s. Just bobbing along. It was occasionally deliberate, and just recently NOT. My down days kept turning into medium days or worse, no matter how well I would do all day the nights kept getting out of control. I thought I had determined to get my mojo back, but I just wasn't making it. As a positive, I know exactly how to maintain, and haven't gained at all. I have been doing muscle building exercise daily again for several weeks now. Maybe my body is smarter than I think my brain is. I haven't even really beat myself up about the failed down days. I TRY to live by kindness to myself; I spent way too many years bullying me over every little thing and letting others do it too. Too much trauma in our lives this summer, and then my whole household is just getting over a two week virus that wiped us all out.
Saturday I had a talk with myself about where I want to be, how I want to look and feel, and pushed myself back on track. Made a commitment to two weeks of strict rotation, no medium days, no deviations, and I decided to just do protein on down days (I have my SunWarrior and hemp protein in my desk). Made it through yesterday under my dd calories with no hunger, and I feel reasonable about my up day today. Cider is mulling in the crockpot, elk meatloaf is ready to bake, pumpkin oat scone is in my tummy, and I think I might be sane again.
Really grateful that IF is forgiving and is a lifestyle that I can keep hold of even when life gets in the way. I still think every other day should be a down day while struggling through rough patches, which keeps me from going back to the fat place I promised myself I wouldn't ever go again. I like being faithful to me.
Grateful for all of you JBs too, your positive attitudes, perseverance, experiments (learning processes every one), and encouragement!
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:38 AM   #2
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Sounds like you have a good plan. You can do this! You have done this! And you WILL do this again!
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:08 PM   #3
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B lou - I could have easily written this myself..well minus the virus and trauma in the summer. I have easily maintained since end of July. I am close to where I want to be, but not there. I too have tried being kinder to myself. Please let me know how your refocusing goes. I refocused last week and thus far, things have gone well!

You can do this!!!!!!
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Old 10-22-2012, 01:01 PM   #4
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WOE: JUDDD dd 200 ud 1200
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Awww, BLouWho, I've been wondering where you've been. Glad you've popped in with an update!
I hope your family is healing from the virus.
Sounds like you have a good plan. I've been eating frequent low cal protein on my dd's, it seems to help me a lot too. So glad to hear you had an under cal dd - here's to keeping up the momentum!
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Old 10-22-2012, 02:12 PM   #5
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Sorry to hear you were having a tough time over the summer - hope things get better!
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Old 10-22-2012, 02:37 PM   #6
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Stats: 199/120.0/126.8 5'2" 38yrs Size 20/4P
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I've been thinking about you and hope you continue to feel like recommitting to taking care of yourself. It can be harder when life gets in the way, but like Dawn said- You can do this!
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Old 10-22-2012, 02:46 PM   #7
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Thank you! I am actually feeling really good, my first down day helped cement that, motivation is high. I tried on leggings at the mall.
Eat today for what you want to wear tomorrow.
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Old 10-22-2012, 03:59 PM   #8
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Love your quotables, Blou

to you sweetie-- I always look at your posts with great interest (you eat interesting stuff!) and for maintaining through a rough patch. You're 100% right about the wonderful forgiving nature of IF (I'm a testament to that as well, crazy travel all summer ) and if you want to lose, you will. That simple, b/c that's how it works.

Enjoy your DDs and your UDs and, when/if you feel like it, hook us up with a new avi of you!

HUGS!!! S.
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Old 10-22-2012, 04:38 PM   #9
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I kinda know how you feel. I too start the day with the best intentions but then that fizzles. I think I need to make a plan like you and just stick with it!
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Old 10-22-2012, 05:29 PM   #10
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I think the two week deadline is a good idea.

When diet fatigue sets in, it seems really demoralizing to commit yourself to an endless effort. Two weeks is doable. Even one week.
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Old 10-22-2012, 05:44 PM   #11
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I'm glad you're back! And determined! I think we all have to have these talks with ourselves from time to time. I know I do!

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Old 10-22-2012, 06:03 PM   #12
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While I never like to see someone having a hard time, I learn so much from your stories. It is so encouraging to know I am not the only one who struggles with DDs and that it can be overcome with persistence and planning and maybe some good old fashioned stubborn determination. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
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Old 10-22-2012, 07:50 PM   #13
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B lou....I am so glad to see you. So sorry for your difficulties. I KNOW from all your great posts of the past how good at this you are!!

Always admired you and how healthy you ate!

Shine up your super-star!

Look forward to your continued successes!

Phyl
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:25 AM   #14
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Stats: 2014 was195/now186.9 5'7" 44
WOE: whole organic low-sugars IF vegan
Start Date: 1997
down day two in progress, and feeling up about it.
on this board that sentence looks wrong. just wrong.
two tablespoons organic hemp protein in 4oz water with two drops stevia
took my morning supplements
I could have stayed in bed all day but got up, did some light exercise and got my booty going.
Thank you all! it is so helpful to have everyone share their own journey so we can keep going together. big hugs!
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:55 AM   #15
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Hey there sweet pea, i also know how you felt, i have had more medium days now that i claim to be "maintance" But really its a free for all for me of late, I want to feel bad about it,, but i think this is just a break for me, till i can get my own head screwed back and to just stick with the program.. The one thing i noticed is.. i just dont feel good when i eat.. the scale is up a full pound but... I just want to hang around this number for a while and see what moves me next.. more loss?? not sure.. STay here.. not sure, so only time will tell, but i wanted to offer my support to you also that you can do this~~ much love to you ~
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:46 PM   #16
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Missed you lovely lady. You can do this. See you here often I hope.
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:09 AM   #17
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down day 3 in progress, doing well. avoided scale eye contact.
mixing my protein drink, took my ptero, and bundled up against the cold.
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:38 AM   #18
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You should totally blindfold that scale, it keeps making eyes at you!
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:34 AM   #19
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Old 10-25-2012, 02:03 PM   #20
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it really does get up in my grill when I am getting dressed in the morning.
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Old 10-25-2012, 02:59 PM   #21
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:05 PM   #22
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I may have found the key to sticking with rotations for ME right now. This liquid protein only down day stuff is so easy for me. No carb hunger, and I haven't needed anything in the evening, just my breakfast and lunch servings keeping me at about 10% weight loss mode. My pants are already looser. Nice healthy rest for my digestive system. Might even get back to full fasting a day a week, but I'm not going to fix this as long as it isn't broken.
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Old 10-25-2012, 07:24 PM   #23
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I find this thread interesting! You eat elk? I have never had it. I do like Deer tenderloin though.
Hang in there and I agree, if its not broken don't try to fix it! I have thought of protein drinks on DD's too. I try to keep it simple.
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Old 10-25-2012, 08:00 PM   #24
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I love elk, very mild, just has to be cooked like lean pork not beef. We have 260 pounds in the freezer.We don't eat commercial meat. Pastured meat raised by friends or wild game. I'm not generally a protein drink person, although I like sun warrior. I think the blandness and bio availability of the plain hemp powder is actually making down days mentally freeing from taste, texture, etc. Which is keeping me from thinking about food. Whatever works in the moment. I adore food and cooking so we shall see how long this phase lasts. Its a good tool and learning experience at least.
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Old 10-26-2012, 09:18 AM   #25
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B lou, thanks for sharing this particular part of your trip with us. What a gift right now.
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:42 PM   #26
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Trying to receive all gifts with thankfulness right now
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Old 10-29-2012, 02:56 PM   #27
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Down day 5 and have managed to fast until late afternoon. Hemp protein is an option, but haven't needed it. I did weigh yesterday morning and was up - not going to worry about it. Weird hormonal stuff going on - as usual- so I will just keep on as I am going.
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