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Old 10-04-2012, 09:02 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Stats: 228(242-highest)/154/Prego #3/125
WOE: my plan
Start Date: 3/9/06
No idea what to do

So I discovered JUDDD a year ago when my 2nd child was about 5 weeks old, and committed to try it at that time while breastfeeding, I only made it about a week and have been in a strange overeating, beating myself up, postpartum depression and recovery cycle ever since. I lost about 90 pounds and maintained for about 15 months before my first child and after him I hung on to about 15 pounds until I got pregnant again.

after my second I actually ended up 5 pounds down from where I was pre- pregnancy with him. But then I just went off the rails. I have been eating and beating myself ever since. I have gained about 20 pounds back. I am finally feeling better depression wise and have successfully stopped Zoloft without any repercussions. But I just can't get any eating plan together. I have been a little chubby/robust all my life. And I have never been an easy loser, but I know that if I can stick with a plan, it will work. I just can't seem to stick to a plan.

I am still nursing my 13 month old 3 times a day, but it isn't his main source of nutrition, so I am still abit hungrier than I would probably be without that but I figure I won't wean him for about 5 more months. (nursed my firstborn until about 18 months as well). I just don't know what made the difference before that allowed me to do so well, and why I'm in such epic failure mode now.
Insight? Thoughts? Encouragement? I feel as though I almost need a daily phone or email buddy to check in with or something. I am tired of burning my husband out with my woes, I am tired of being fat, I am sick of beating myself up and yet I just don't change.

Sorry for the woeful tale. Just needed to get it out somewhere.
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Old 10-04-2012, 09:44 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sunny Southern California
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Stats: 220/160/145
WOE: JUDDD and moderate carbs
Start Date: 6/1/2012
Sorry I can't be of help except to be a shoulder on which to talk...please stick around, we have several who have experienced what you're going through....the depression and dealing with losing while breast feeding. And that's what this forum is all about, helping each other through the good and bad times...
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:18 PM   #3
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WOE: my plan
Start Date: 3/9/06
thanks for the support, needed that. My plan is to try and stick around and hopefully that will make the difference
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Old 10-05-2012, 04:04 AM   #4
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Location: London UK
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Stats: 184/137/126 5'3" Age 67
WOE: JUDDD restart 8/25/2014
Start Date: 2001 Atkins -50 2011 JUDDD - 10
Exactly, to begin simply become a JUDDD BUDDD again. As you read all the successes , the concerns, the queries etc, I am sure it will inspire you to start JUDDD again.

But you don't have to until you feel ready. And when you do you know that you will have all the support you could possibly wish for right here on this forum.

Be kind to yourself, you have been in a difficult place and are still coping with 2 tinies and all that that entails. 20lbs is not a lot and once you feel ready to recommit I am sure you will see the losses you want and enjoy the lovely way that JUDDD seems to resculpt our bodies.

Join in the October chat and newbie threads. Have a look at some of the other popular threads. Don't be a stranger. When you are ready we will all be here to help.
__________________
Cindy

Embrace a little hunger. It is the sign of healing.

Relax, rotate, reduce, rejoice.

Down Days are the cement that hold JUDDD together.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:31 AM   #5
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WOE: JUDDD/PHD, LC now that my BG is getting weird
Start Date: JUDDD 1/1/12 + LCHF 12/1/13 (controlling diabetes)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainypep View Post
I just don't know what made the difference before that allowed me to do so well, and why I'm in such epic failure mode now.
It's called postpartum hormones. Sometimes baby-making goes smoothly and sometimes it seems to be smooth but those little internal regulators are secretly going bats wing. Sometimes, not so secretly as your DH probably knows.

Stop beating yourself up. Pregnancy hormones are not something you can control!

Further ... and I am 100% behind nursing baby as long as seems right to you and baby ... but, furthermore, while you are keeping yourself in milk-producing mode, you are telling your body it is not yet time to return to ground zero norm. So, internal regulation has not yet resumed normal levels.

We know you are stabilizing. Getting off Zoloft is a great sign!

Spend time here. Read, ask questions, answer questions, join the club, plan and prepare.

You are in a very special time. Stop flogging yourself because you can't do everything at once. Take care of two children. When the time is right that excess weight is going to go. And we are going to be here to help you evict it.

Know you are beautiful right now.

You really are. When negative thoughts creep in, tell yourself that is just your hormones talking (and hormones usually shout), and try to replace them with something positive. Stop obsessing about "why can't I... why don't I...". Look at the all the wonderful things you are doing!
__________________
- Nancy
GOAL 10/3/12
Still at goal 2/6/13
STILL below goal 2/15/14

I did not "lose" weight. I evicted it. It is gone and it ain't coming back!

JUDDD cares about calories. JUDDD does not care what you eat. Your body probably does.
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Old 10-05-2012, 07:44 AM   #6
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Hang in there kiddo.. you body is still not your own..
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:05 AM   #7
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Thanks everyone for the kind words. In my mind I know that I am doing the most important job, enjoying these short years with the babies, but it doesn't always feel that way inside. I do love them more than anything.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:54 AM   #8
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Can't help in the advise area. Just wanted to give my support.
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Old 10-05-2012, 08:59 AM   #9
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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WOE: Atkins 1/27/12 - 54.5 lbs: JUDDD 9/4/12 - 73 lbs
You're getting the best advice from the pros here, Rainypep. I can't offer advice on this, but I can lend a shoulder.

I do agree that just taking part in the conversations here, learning, asking questions, is a great start. I read and lurked for several weeks before I joined and posted, and another couple before I actually started doing JUDDD. Stick with us, and when you're ready to start JUDDDing, you'll know it.
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Old 10-05-2012, 11:09 AM   #10
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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WOE: JUDDD
Start easy. Maybe just try to do maintenance levels. See how that feels. You can do this, let us all help!
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:28 AM   #11
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WOE: JUDDDD
Start Date: August 27 2012
What a beautiful thread!
You are not alone Rainypep. Be gentle with yourself and enjoy your babies.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:17 AM   #12
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WOE: my plan
Start Date: 3/9/06
thanks for the kind words everyone. PirateJenny, I had only been on zoloft for about 10 months just for postparum depression and even at the time that I started it my psychiatrist wasn't even sure he thought I totally needed it. It was serious grey area. At the time when I weaned off I was feeling the side effects outweighed the benefits I was feeling. I haven't really been all that depressed or anxious since, I guess the only really issue at this point might be slightly fixated on weight loss, and feeling bad about that part of myself. I no longer have that feeling of wanting to sleep excessively or no energy or difficulty concentrating and I was having fairly annoying load of side effects even at the lowest clinical dose.
I think some of the issues I was having anxiety/depression wise were pretty understandable and even my psychiatrist felt my response was legitimate to the fact that life has been coming pretty hard and fast for the last 2.5 years, lots and lots of change and things out of our control.
I do appreciate the input from someone who has been there, very nice to hear positivity and genuine concern, thank you for that. Time will tell I suppose
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Old 10-08-2012, 09:30 AM   #13
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Quote:
I was having fairly annoying load of side effects even at the lowest clinical dose.
Oh...yuck!!! I hope you are feeling much better, except for the weight loss issue!

One thing I took a few years ago, that is a mild mood-booster, is called SAM-e.
Talked about it & a couple other supplements in these threads:
st johns wort
adding new supplements like 5htp
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