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Old 07-26-2012, 02:32 AM   #1
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In Which She Checks Out...

Dropping in to give an update on my experiences so far with JUDDD at a conference. Today should have been a Down Day and I decided to see if I could keep it strict on the run.

The first decision I made was to skip breakfast and not eat until after I'd been fasting for at least sixteen hours. That part worked out just fine. I may have been a little too smug about that.

Next decision was to eat as healthy a low calorie lunch as I could manage. I found a veggie panini on the hotel menu and ate that. I probably ate it smugly, too.

However, just as I was getting up to leave the table, I ran into one of my editors who sat down to lunch with me, so I ordered a cup of coffee. And this is where the trouble began. I was so intent on impressing my editor that I paid no attention whatsoever to what I was putting in my coffee. A lot of table cream. I sort of realized it only after I was leaving the table.

I was fascinated, and a little alarmed, at how it had happened without my paying any conscious attention.

And then it happened again.

A few hours later, during the massive Literacy Book Signing in Anaheim (during which I sold out!), a friend gifted me with a box of chocolate. I was asked to taste it because it was some kind of local chocolatier. And it quite honestly never even occurred to me to say 'I'll have a piece tomorrow.' In the mad frenzy of the book signing, I ate it without pause, hesitation or even a thought to how many calories it might have in it.

Next, I had dinner plans with colleagues and the restaurant was so hellaciously expensive that I chose my meal based on price rather than nutrition. Calorie counting never even occurred to me.

I have no explanation for this other than that, in the chaos, I had apparently mentally checked out of dieting.

Although I went over maintenance level DD calories, I didn't eat to wild excess. When I finally put in my calories for the day, they weren't piggy. But instead of taking in calories for reasons of enjoyment, hunger or cravings, there were all sorts of empty calories that I ate for mindless social reasons.
  • Creamer in my coffee that I would not have had if I weren't concentrating so hard on the discussion at hand.
  • A piece of candy I wasn't interested in except insofar as I wanted to be gracious.
  • Some slices of bread at dinner that I had because everyone was having them.
  • A tonic water and lime at the bar because everyone else was drinking alcohol and it seemed like a better choice than a gin and tonic. Why didn't I just ask for Seltzer or tea?

Anyway, none of these choices was a crazy choice. It's just that when I'm not mindful, I apparently make weird choices, or sometimes don't make any conscious choice at all.

I never expected to be able to stay fully on plan while on this trip so I'm not stressing about it, but using it as a learning experience. And today was a new discovery. It was like I actually forgot all about JUDDD.

But I wonder how that is even possible!

Last edited by stephdray; 07-26-2012 at 02:46 AM..
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Old 07-26-2012, 04:32 AM   #2
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Actually, I think you have made a wonderful start!

And you got a key learning about yourself. Not bad. Not bad at all. So, you concentrated on other important things and did not obsess about food constantly. Hey, you only ate one piece of candy! Where really good chocolates are concerned, I might have just lowered my face into the box and grazed.

Call it a victory and have a very interesting UD!
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Old 07-26-2012, 04:50 AM   #3
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I agree with Nancy- Call it a victory and a valuable learning experience!
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Old 07-26-2012, 07:45 AM   #4
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Clever title to write from a book event.

I think you did well to have been pressed by the immediacy of the moments. For instance, having an editor sit down with you and needing to use that face time as well as possible is a big deal, and your attention has to be on it.

This is how I feel when I am going to attend an event and tell myself I'm going to remember excellent posture throughout, then realize afterward I never thought of it again and probably slouched the whole time. The more the event reminded me of its immediate stress, the less I could remember my own promise to myself.

I think this is why someone invented the string on the finger. In my case, it would need to be a neon-colored stripe.
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Old 07-26-2012, 08:01 AM   #5
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You did great~ You didnt go crazy,, and even though in the fore front of your mind you forgot about JUDDD .. Some where in there you did remember,, due to you dint just have a free for all kind of day,, so WTG you ~
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Old 07-26-2012, 08:41 AM   #6
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I would call that day a resounding success. You learned some valuable lessons about yourself and will be better able to incorporate those lessons in the future.
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Old 07-26-2012, 09:04 AM   #7
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I agree with everyone - I think you did great! It takes what, six weeks, to make something a habit? You've only been doing this a few weeks, so cut yourself some slack. I still mess up all the time and I just try to learn from it and move on. If you get down on yourself, you might end up giving up entirely and it's just not worth it.

I love that you ate everything "smugly" though. That statement caught the sentiment of the entire experience perfectly! I have totally been there!

on the book selling out too! How was Disney? (Inquiring minds are jealous and want to know. )
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Old 07-26-2012, 09:20 AM   #8
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Yay on the book sellout!!!!

And the day was a success in that you learned invaluable information about yourself, and will know better how to handle things in the future. JUDDD is partly about weight loss, but there are SO many things we learn about ourselves and our relationship to food, and how our bodies respond to different foods that I think are even MORE important because THAT is what will give us the ultimate victory of being able to maintain.

This is likely not something new for you--getting completely absorbed in the moment, and then eating without thought. It's just that now you know you do it. And next time, you will be more aware.
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:26 PM   #9
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Hey, it was a giant success in my book! The calories you eat on any particular day don't wind up mattering a bit in the long run. It all starts to run together at some point and stops mattering. The rotations matter. And what really matters is what we learn about ourselves and how we eat, why we eat, and what we use food for. You're learning some of those things and that makes it a great success. How much more mindful you are today than you were even just a short time ago!
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:34 PM   #10
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You're doing great, Steph! Congrats on selling out your book! About the eating - this is sort of a process where you get to learn about how you eat, why, when... It feels enlightening, very eye-opening. The best thing that stands out to me is how aware you've become. That awareness is a big deal. Along with not punishing yourself once the awareness of what you are eating or have eaten sets in. Again, you're doing great!
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:37 PM   #11
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The book sold out! Woot!

And my fav ---, "And it quite honestly never even occurred to me to say 'I'll have a piece tomorrow.' This made me snicker, because quite frankly, I don't think I have ever said that either!!! Well, only to myself and then do I listen???
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Old 07-26-2012, 01:41 PM   #12
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I pushed send before saying, I love reading everything you write, Steph! Thank you for letting us in on your conference and best wishes!
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Old 07-26-2012, 05:56 PM   #13
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I don't think there is anyone here who "hasn't" overindulged at least once. I'd call that a success.
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Old 07-26-2012, 06:41 PM   #14
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I think it's kind of cool that you ate food without thinking about calories.

Of course, eating mindlessly and/or because of social pressure without even enjoying it isn't "cool"...but I feel so terrible about my weight that I sort of have to "allow" myself to enjoy food before I eat--every day, every bite. And make a conscious effort not to feel guilty or mentally berate myself after eating. And often I'm worried that someone will see me eating and say something critical. It takes up a lot of my energy. To eat without thinking about it at all would be a relief in some ways.
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Last edited by piratejenny; 07-26-2012 at 06:45 PM..
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Old 07-26-2012, 06:51 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piratejenny View Post
I think it's kind of cool that you ate food without thinking about calories.

Of course, eating mindlessly and/or because of social pressure without even enjoying it isn't "cool"...but I feel so terrible about my weight that I sort of have to "allow" myself to enjoy food before I eat--every day, every bite. And make a conscious effort not to feel guilty or mentally berate myself after eating. And often I'm worried that someone will see me eating and say something critical. It takes up a lot of my energy. To eat without thinking about it at all would be a relief in some ways.
I know what you say and I think we need to give ourselves a break! We live in a world obsessed with thin and truly not fair to all of us who want to be and wish to be. Jenny, I think you are the most beautiful person inside and out. You help so many of us selflessly all.of.the.time.

Last edited by sunday; 07-26-2012 at 06:58 PM..
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Old 07-26-2012, 06:57 PM   #16
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Jenny, I think you are the most beautiful person inside and out. You help so many of us selflessly all.of.the.time.
Yah, PJ.
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Old 07-26-2012, 09:25 PM   #17
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Oh, y'all are the BEST!!!
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:35 AM   #18
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Ditto.
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Old 07-27-2012, 08:52 AM   #19
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Jenny, I think you are the most beautiful person inside and out. You help so many of us selflessly all.of.the.time.
Double Ditto.

Jenny - Shhhhh.....don't tell anybody - just between you and me - you're still my favorite poster.
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Old 07-27-2012, 09:06 AM   #20
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I'm jumping on the PJ bandwagon! You give us SO much here, and only deserve the happiest of feelings.
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Old 07-27-2012, 10:33 PM   #21
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I've been trying all day but I still can't think of what to say, besides thank you....

I try to be accepting of and gentle with myself--
but for Pete's sake!!! I used to study flamenco & bellydance & model for art classes
and now I just feel so huge & yucky, you know?!!!
Like Jabba the Hutt!!!

(Didn't mean to make this thread go off on such a tangent!)

Last edited by piratejenny; 07-27-2012 at 10:34 PM.. Reason: (...)
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Old 07-28-2012, 02:21 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piratejenny View Post
I think it's kind of cool that you ate food without thinking about calories.

Of course, eating mindlessly and/or because of social pressure without even enjoying it isn't "cool"...but I feel so terrible about my weight that I sort of have to "allow" myself to enjoy food before I eat--every day, every bite. And make a conscious effort not to feel guilty or mentally berate myself after eating. And often I'm worried that someone will see me eating and say something critical. It takes up a lot of my energy. To eat without thinking about it at all would be a relief in some ways.
Very incisive, PJ. There is a huge physical and emotional difference, especially in social situations, between mindless over-eating and eating in a reasonable range without thinking about it. You rock. Stephanie rocks.
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Old 07-28-2012, 06:17 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by stephdray View Post

*A piece of candy I wasn't interested in except insofar as I wanted to be gracious.
Do you realize how many years we have been in the mindset of always wanting candy?? And for this to not be an issue that day...well I think that is sort of a little miracle!! This is truly JUDDD magic.
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