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Old 07-30-2012, 11:37 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sungoddess View Post
Don't know how I missed this post, but I soooooooo relate to it!! When I started I felt DRIVEN with intensity and being perfect at this was foremost on my mind. As the months went by, I found my intensity was exhausting. I was reading reading reading everything I could and putting 100% of my body and soul into this.

Mind you, I am far far from my goal at this point, but I had to do some soul searching. For me, maintaining the losses is the key to the whole weight loss gain. I have lost hundreds of pounds in my lifetime weight loss journey, but have not kept it off. So I made the really big decision to give myself a bit of a rest from my own self-driven intensity and work on maintaining what I have achieved so far for awhile. Yam-Yam- it feels good. It really feels good to rest the intensity for awhile. I am finding my drive is starting to return again and in good time I will get into the weight loss mode again, but I don't think I am going to allow myself to get that intense again. It is a hard feeling for me to describe, other than INTENSE!

Many people say this isn't a race, but in the back of my mind I was always saying, well it is to me. I want to get to onederland with an intense desperation because it represents something huge to me. Like I said, I really had to soul search on this. I know that I need to let go of the thought that this IS a race and find a more peaceful journey. Racing is not peaceful.

You have worked hard and had stunning results. All the scale and NSV's are truly a victory. You look fantastic. Taking a break from the urgency is a good thing in my book. I love the image of a joyful journey. You are awesome.
Beverly: What a great post!!! Thank you for every word you said. You voiced my feelings better than I did. In the beginning I was driven with intensity. I wanted to have a quick, decisive weight loss. I tried to be 100% perfect. I read every motivational article and book I could get my hands on about WL strategies to keep myself inspired and intense.

If I messed up, I got the books back out and regrouped and came back stronger and more intense with more urgency if that was possible. It worked! I psyched myself out and pushed ahead and kept going down on the scale (although the losses got slower and slower). Nothing totally derailed me this time. I took time off when life ran me over, but never did I get the WL mentality out of my head and in the back of my mind the intensity remained.

What I'm realizing right now is that level of intensity is not sustainable without a break.

After reading Richard's book about the hormone Leptin, I am conscious of the fact that my body is fighting any further loss for the time being right now. It's just a physical fact.

So, I've come to the conclusion that the focus for a while will have to be maintaining my loss.

I've decided to keep myself busy by getting more active. I have slacked off on my strength training and cardio routines in recent weeks. It's time to get back to it. Hate to admit that part of the reason I abandoned working out at the gym and with my personal trainer is that the scale started going up.

I know exercise always does that to me. I look great, feel great, clothes fit great when I'm faithful to regular, serious workouts. But, history has proven that the scale goes up, stays up, goes up a little more. I desperately needed, NEEDED to see those numbers go down. So, I started to avoid the gym and the weight lifting.

I'm sure I'm paying for it with muscle loss and fat % gain though I've chosen to not use my body monitor scale for the time being.

I don't regret my decision. At my semi-annual check up in may the doctor office scale actually weighed me less than my WW at home scale. And that was with clothes on!! That was something I needed and wanted to see.

Anyway, I appreciate your kind, thoughtful and wise words to me. I totally applaud you for your decision to maintain your impressive loss right now.

I will join you in a maintenance mission for the month of August! Then, hopefully by September I will be refreshed and ready to continue on the WL journey!
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"Weight loss isn't about winning a race; it's about crossing the finish line at your own pace." -Dianna Rodriguiz

current numbers: 1975/395
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Old 07-30-2012, 11:54 AM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aarosali View Post
This is a great thread! Yam Yam, I'm the same height as you and also in my 50s. Like you, I have asked myself this same question. As our JUDDD BUDDDs have responded, our motivation typically is around wearing smaller sized clothes.

For me, it's also that I've been smaller after HCG and I know that my body can get there. I don't discount the major fact that it took me 50 years to get where I am, in terms of learning about food, healthy eating, what works for me and what doesn't, my triggers, etc. I know that it takes time to correct all of that, and that it won't happen overnight. So, I'm being gentle with myself and allowing the learning process to happen. I'm four years into this and I've come very far. I appreciate that about myself.

So, give yourself a pat on the back for asking the question. You're in a different place now. Perhaps a break is good. And, I bet you will make better choices now than you would have years ago. Perhaps you keep going and find your motivation. And you get closer to your goal. It's all good, no matter what you do. Remember that you are a better you now and there is no wrong or bad answer to the question.
Thanks for your great post and for sharing your story with me. I love what you said about being gentle with yourself. I must say this is a new concept for me which started happening only after I came to JUDD.

My story is that I was a chubby teenager who lost 55 pounds on Dr. Stillman's QWL diet when my older brother talked me into doing it with him for 3 months. I bless the day that man wrote the book and the day my brother bought it! The low carb principles I learned kept me slim for almost 40 years.

I am thrilled that through all the years of my marriage, child raising, and being the mother-of-the bride and then mother-of-the-groom at my kids' weddings, I was thin and looked great. When my kids look back at picture albums and wedding albums, they won't be ashamed of how their mother looked. That may sound weird or conceited, but I had to work very hard all my life to stay thin. I lived in the gym every chance I got. If the scale went up 3 pounds and stayed there for a few days, I was right back on low carb eating and got it off.

It was only in my early 50's when menopause hit and simultaneously injuring my back severely that the weight came piling on and I couldn't get it off.

So, I would say that I have only been fat and then fatter for about 7 years of my adult life, max. That would be roughly from age 50 to 57 and it was a yo-yo gain that I fought with all my might.

The first year of menopause/back injury (impaired movement, sedentary lifestyle because of it) I gained 20 pounds. The next year I lost 15, gained 25!! It continued like that until I reached my highest last July @ 230 pounds. I was totally disgusted with myself. However, I noticed that the hot flashes were completely gone. My back was healed. I could move again.

I began to think that maybe some WL method would really work again. It has!

But, I'm not there yet. I'm still concerned and freaked out at the thought that any of the weight might come back on. I have to find a way to keep off what is gone and also find a way to keep going and get even lower than my goal weight of 180.

Coming here and talking to all you wonderful friends is more helpful than I could ever express. I love coming here. This is the mother of all support groups.

Last edited by Yam-Yam; 07-30-2012 at 11:58 AM..
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Old 07-30-2012, 12:07 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post
Beverly, you and I are so on the same wavelength. This is exactly how I felt, and to describe the feeling of letting go and allowing myself to maintain for a bit, was just as intense, but in another way. It was an intense relief. I don't think we're designed to be under a constant state of pressure, and once that pressure is released and we're able to breath for a bit, it's a natural progression to go back to WLM refreshed and rejuvinated, but more relaxed. That's, at least, been my experience, and I wish the same for you.
Dawn: You are a great example of how maintaining our WL can work to our advantage. I'm looking to you as someone who is paving the way for me. I don't feel the intense relief yet but am looking forward to it. I will start my maintenance month (deliberate maintenance instead of whatever this is that I'm in now) on August 3rd when my sisters arrive in California for our week long gal pal fun vacation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stargazer View Post
You look fabulous. I can see it would be hard to get really motivated to lose further. Just go with how your body feels and if you are happy.

I got to my mid-term goal and looked ok for my special date but now it's all slipped. I really want to get back to full on JUDDD and get down to my final weight goal but I'm one of the ones who needs a real deadline.

The closer you get to goal the less the urgency. Old clothes fit, your health is no longer compromised.

The best I can come up with is inventing a perfectionist alter ego boot camp fiend to push you.
Well, said, my dear! Thanks for saying I look fabulous. I love you for that!

It's amazing to me how many tall women are JUDD BUDDs!!! I keep thinking it might be fun to gather ourselves together in one thread for a day or two just so we can chat and share our journey.

Maybe I'll do it. I've been thinking about it for a while. Just want to do it in a way that anyone, even if she is not tall, will feel welcomed too.

As for the perfectionist boot camp fiend.....all I have to do is call up my personal trainer, Shelley. She is a real life boot camp fiend. I have been avoiding her like the plague in recent weeks!!!
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Old 07-30-2012, 12:46 PM   #64
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I certainly can't help you get back to the OLD urgency.
There is no urgency in my weightloss journey anymore since I was able to wear my cocktail dress to DS' graduation banquet and it was loose. So I accomplished what I set out to do in January.
I will reach my final goal but it is fine with me to do it slowly. I am enjoying the delicious foods that I have not been able to eat for many years while I was LC'ing. Not bad food really but things like fresh homegrown peas, cantaloupes, watermelon, onions cooked in everything, all the tomatoes I want, sweet potatoes and yes, the occasional baked white potato.
So, I keep plugging along, enjoying myself and losing at a shlow steady rate. Just think. By the time I have been JUDDD'ing for one year, I will be back to my young adult weight that I maintained until I was 40. AND I will be able to maintain that weight for the rest of my life unless I end up in a nursing home and they make me eat everyday and my mind is gone so I don't know UD from DD.
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Old 07-30-2012, 01:11 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adillenal View Post
AND I will be able to maintain that weight for the rest of my life unless I end up in a nursing home and they make me eat everyday and my mind is gone so I don't know UD from DD.
Or in prison, where I imagine, based on watching too many movies, that the diet is all nasty white carbs, in which case I'd be completely unable to control myself on DDs or UDs, even if technically of sound mind.
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Old 07-30-2012, 01:14 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyjoy View Post
Or in prison, where I imagine, based on watching too many movies, that the diet is all nasty white carbs, in which case I'd be completely unable to control myself on DDs or UDs, even if technically of sound mind.
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Old 07-30-2012, 01:20 PM   #67
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My mother would have considered a nursing home a prison.

Maybe Texas prisons have better menus. They have prison farms where they grow veggies for the prisons.
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Old 07-30-2012, 01:25 PM   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adillenal View Post
My mother would have considered a nursing home a prison.

Maybe Texas prisons have better menus. They have prison farms where they grow veggies for the prisons.
Adi, my mum still says she'd shoot herself behind a barn, somewhere, rather than go to a nursing home. Perhaps I could sell her on the benefits of a Texas prison.
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