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Old 07-22-2012, 08:11 AM   #1
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Slim Body Fat Head - Arriving at Maintenance

I wonder if we could use this separate thread to talk about the weirdness of transitioning to maintenance.
I lurked on the maintenance thread for weeks before I got there, I was so excited about it and so committed to getting there.
When I did get there, all hell broke loose in my head. I'd set it up as the holy grail, the finish line, the big dream. Then my body arrived at the number. And I expected to be someone else, somehow. The Thin Woman. The Relaxed Around Food Woman. Instead, I'm me. Same person I was, basically. Healthier, perhaps, because of the juddd trip, but not entirely changed.
Maybe because of that, maintenance so far looks like climbing on the wagon and falling off the wagon. My weight is lower, but I'm a seesaw. I'm looking forward to something steadier.
So. (Excuse the massive word count.)
There are lots of us here. Relaxed maintenance juddders, people arriving at maintenance, people aiming toward it, and people taking maintenance breaks in the middle of WL. Maybe we can chat about what it's like to "arrive" at maintenance. So far, "arriving" at maintenance looks way different to me than "being" in maintenance. (Hence the idea of a separate thread.)
I'd like help with a few things:
How long did it take you to feel "safe" in maintenance, sure that raising your UD and DD numbers wouldn't turn you into a hippo?
I'm having a weird time going from controlled, steady WL calorie numbers to experimenting with higher numbers. I do okay some days, and I lose all control on other days. I get that this is just my current learning place in Juddd, but I'd love any words of experience.
Is maintenance a completely different ball game physically and mentally, or is it just slightly tweaked Juddd for you?
Does JUDDDing become less obssessive with maintenance? I'd love to end up using less of my headspace on all of this (granted, I used to spend this much thought on my fatness, so I'm moving in the right direction) some day, when I'm ready.
Anybody else curious about this stuff?
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:28 AM   #2
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I think for myself, it was important to realize that maintenance isn't much different than being in a weight loss phase. I mean, I still eat my meals. I still eat pretty much the same foods. About the only thing that has changed is that the calories are higher in maintenance than during weight loss. Not a HUGE difference, but enough that it's rewarding. So maintenance is just.... continuing pretty much like I'd been doing.

I think a real mistake is ever thinking that *Once I hit my goal and am in maintenance, I will be free to relax and not worry about how I eat or how much I eat.. I'll be able to eat more and not have to count anything. Etc.* We all the time read posts where folks say, "I don't eat that now, but I will when I get to maintenance" or "I'm saving that for maintenance" "I'll add that back in at maintenance"... I'm thinking their maintenance is going to be a very shocking experience for them! Because it's really not all that different than what you have been doing during your weight loss period. It's just more of the same. At a little higher calorie level.

And I know there are those who stop much calorie counting in their maintenance, but I'm not one of them. Too easy to go too far off track, too often. I know myself well enough to know that I need to keep tabs on my portion sizes and overall calorie intake forevermore. So I get some totally Free Days along the way, but I make sure I do counted Down Days almost all the time, and quite a few counted Up Days as the weeks pass too. I have to.

And some no longer do much weighing in on that bathroom scale once they've hit their goal. I would fail and fall if I didn't weigh in each morning. Every single morning. Because here's another thing. Maintenance isn't stable. At least not for me it isn't. Maybe it's because I have chosen to eat all of the foods that I want to include in my menus, from very low carb ones to very high carb ones. So I still have the weight bounces, even in maintenance. Now, I've carbed up well, and I intend to stay carbed up! And I like my salt, and I'll continue to enjoy my foods salted. (No issues with that here..) So I've come to know that, for me, maintenance will not be real stable. Between the Free Days that I allow myself to just eat and not count and not worry about going far over, and the foods that I like to include in my diet these days, like artisan breads and great desserts, I know I'll always fluctuate and not maintain closely to *a number*. Fine with me. I just weigh each morning and that helps guide me.

I'll bet you do wonderfully well. It's just kind of weird to finally conclude that it's not much different than any other phase of your life, in that you either over ate, or ate less than needed, or are now eating just the right amount to balance.
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Last edited by SoHappy; 07-22-2012 at 09:31 AM..
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:52 AM   #3
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Pat, this is excellent. Thanks. In my brief time with maintenance, the best and most peaceful weeks have happened when I think of it no differently from WL. It's strange to give up the idea of a finish line or a graduation into effortless and free eating. If some level of vigilance is with me for life, achhhh, I'll be okay with that, I think. I can still hope for relaxed vigilance. That's better than unhappy fatness, which I lived with for a long, long time.
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:22 AM   #4
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Pat, this is excellent. Thanks. In my brief time with maintenance, the best and most peaceful weeks have happened when I think of it no differently from WL. It's strange to give up the idea of a finish line or a graduation into effortless and free eating. If some level of vigilance is with me for life, achhhh, I'll be okay with that, I think. I can still hope for relaxed vigilance. That's better than unhappy fatness, which I lived with for a long, long time.
Yeah, I know.. For the early part of my life, I was one of those *just naturally slim gals*, and I really could just eat. I never, ever thought about it much, other than everything tasted good, but I didn't worry about how much I ate. I just ate until I was done. I have no idea of whether I ate a huge lot or not. I simply didn't ever think about it. And I have no real idea of how my weight fluctuated over the days and weeks. I was slim, and my clothing fit, so how much I bounced up or down within whatever range that weight was, I never knew or cared.

And then I got fat. Boy! Menopause and quitting smoking and moving into town, and I don't know what all.. Real fat. Well, I know I had got into the habit of eating more and more, eating for pleasure, eating from boredom, eating because it was there. Over the years, I lost all concept of how to eat normally. I mean, like a normal slim person instead of a normal obese person.

JUDDD taught me that again. And helped me come to realize that I've always eaten.. at some level, and I always will. But now, I need to be aware of that level, when in earlier years I didn't.

So I'll always be over eating, or under eating, or eating in perfect caloric balance. And these days, it's necessary for me to be in calorie balance in order to maintain about where I want to be. So these days, it's all the same. Keep a watch on things, most of the time, or spin out of control! I can't ever go back to just eating, mindlessly and freely, without thought and care.

So if I have to pay attention, I may as well just make it another habit in my daily life, like brushing my teeth or giving the cat fresh water, etc. I just portion out my foods, usually, without giving it much thought anymore. That's my maintenance, and it works for me.
No big deal. Good luck to you! I'll bet you do fabulously well!
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:03 AM   #5
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Kristin, I am so glad you started this thread. Looking with great interest for any and all wisdom from our all-knowing JUDDD BUDDDs!

I have met goal so many times over the years, I am almost afraid to get to that "magic" number. I have "arrived" almost every year for the past 10 years, only to fail again and regain.

Now I feel I have found a WOE that I can live with for the rest of my life. I guess I feel a bit of reluctance--if not outright resentment--about needing to count calories every day once I get to my scale goal. Not sure if you saw my Strategies for Maintaining During Vacation thread, but I was kind of hoping to use this type of a mindset for long term JUDDD maintenance.

I do remember when LCing a girl I knew from another forum said she had a buffer zone she lived within when she arrived at her goal weight. She weighed herself about once a week. If she went above X number on the scale, she went back to much lower carb for a while until she was back in her buffer zone. I wonder if we can't do that ourselves, adjusting calories as needed to stay in a buffer zone.

But something fishy is going on here... It's almost like I have sabotaged myself each and every year once I have "arrived". What is up with that??? Do I dislike myself that much? Do I think I don't deserve to be slim and trim? Do I not like the attention others give me when I lose the weight--can't handle compliments? Now do I have to live up to someone else's expectations of me? Sorry to pour my guts out to you all about this, but this is truly one area of my life I don't feel that I am stable emotionally or mentally--or whatever label may be affixed to it. I just want to arrive and I want it to be easy I guess, and I want to be relaxed about food. But since it has been about 35 years since I felt that way, I imagine there will be a transitioning time that allows my mind to adjust to the "new me", and to ACCEPT the new me as the real me that has emerged from a larger body. Once again, Kristin, thank you for starting this conversation.
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:17 AM   #6
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Kristin, I am so glad you started this thread. Looking with great interest for any and all wisdom from our all-knowing JUDDD BUDDDs!

I have met goal so many times over the years, I am almost afraid to get to that "magic" number. I have "arrived" almost every year for the past 10 years, only to fail again and regain.

Now I feel I have found a WOE that I can live with for the rest of my life. I guess I feel a bit of reluctance--if not outright resentment--about needing to count calories every day once I get to my scale goal. Not sure if you saw my Strategies for Maintaining During Vacation thread, but I was kind of hoping to use this type of a mindset for long term JUDDD maintenance.

I do remember when LCing a girl I knew from another forum said she had a buffer zone she lived within when she arrived at her goal weight. She weighed herself about once a week. If she went above X number on the scale, she went back to much lower carb for a while until she was back in her buffer zone. I wonder if we can't do that ourselves, adjusting calories as needed to stay in a buffer zone.

But something fishy is going on here... It's almost like I have sabotaged myself each and every year once I have "arrived". What is up with that??? Do I dislike myself that much? Do I think I don't deserve to be slim and trim? Do I not like the attention others give me when I lose the weight--can't handle compliments? Now do I have to live up to someone else's expectations of me? Sorry to pour my guts out to you all about this, but this is truly one area of my life I don't feel that I am stable emotionally or mentally--or whatever label may be affixed to it. I just want to arrive and I want it to be easy I guess, and I want to be relaxed about food. But since it has been about 35 years since I felt that way, I imagine there will be a transitioning time that allows my mind to adjust to the "new me", and to ACCEPT the new me as the real me that has emerged from a larger body. Once again, Kristin, thank you for starting this conversation.
I can certainly understand this feeling. I expect most of us have that feeling, at least when it finally hits us that we can't just get to maintenance weight and then *quit*. I know I hated it when I realized that I needed to pay attention to my eating for the rest of my life.

But, you know.. eventually I came to realize that, for me, I wasn't going to be able to just eat without care, without concern, without paying attention.. ever again. Having become fat, I could get slim again, but I could never just eat willy-nilly again. Which has always been my much preferred way to eat. Anything. Everything. Without thought. All the time. I'm past that time of my life, and past that weight result too.

I just came to realize that in order for ME to maintain weight loss, I had to restrict something, in some way. I either had to say NO to a whole lot of the foods in the world that I'm not willing to part with forever, or I had to control the amount that I put into my mouth! I chose the latter.

I could resent it, but then I probably don't resent this anymore than I resent not being born into the body of a Marilyn Monroe. LOL It just is what it is, as they say. I either restrict my eating somehow, or I'm an obese woman again and forever. I'm just unwilling to live my life anymore in an obese body. That's pretty much what it comes down to.
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:44 AM   #7
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Ditto EVERYTHING Pat said! I have lost & gained the same 20-30 lbs over & over because of the wrong mindset. I even have caught myself doing it recently. There is no more "When I get to maintenence" or "I can eat this now." basically one a week or once everyother week I will allow myself to have a "free" meal but other than that I personally have to keep the mindset of clean eating as a WOL and my scale as my best friend. I've gotten off track far too many times and I am finally back to feeling good about myself. I do NOT ever want to go back to the way I was. That freedom I thought I had at the time was not real freedom because I felt trapped in a fat body and hated myself. It is not worth it.
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:11 PM   #8
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I love this conversation. Thanks for it.
I see the word "restriction" and it's possible that I interpret this slightly differently.
It's like I'm just realizing that I'm a monkey and not shark, so that the perfect food for me is bananas and not surf boarders - it's a matter of seeing myself more clearly and honestly. At some point the monkey just smacks herself on the forehead and says, "Oh, I get it! I'm a monkey! I eat Bananas!" She doesn't have to think of it terms of restriction for the rest of her life. That's what I'm hoping for.
Barb, I also wonder about underlying mixed agendas while trying to maintain a goal weight. I'm sure that's why I'm experiencing massive UUADs every two weeks or so. I'm certain it's a self-sabotage instinct at work.
What I'm excited about with JUDDD is that, so far, I just get back into rotations and all is well.
At first, I thought, man, I am wrecking myself with this! It's a mini yo-yo diet!

Lately, though, I get the feeling that this meeting a UUAD every couple of weeks is the way to meet my self-destructive instincts face to face, over and over, until they deflate a bit.
In fact, they are losing their oomph. I don't feel the same fear and guilt and failure, now, with them. I feel a little bit more like a normal person observing a slightly abnormal behavior. This is lovely.
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:41 PM   #9
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Hope you don't mind this one popping in on this...not even thinking about maintenance yet as I still have a long way to go and a short time to get there.

I'm thinking that most of us are thinking of this as a way to lose weight, not a way of life. There are other benefits to JUDDD other than losing weight which will mean a lot more later on for some of us. Think of it as a WOE and a WOL and remember that IF increases quality of life and heals the body. For those reasons, it may be easier to think of maintaining...it sets a goal to be the best we can be.

I know I'm nearing the end of my road and I'm darn tired of losing the same ten pounds over and over again. That's what drew me to this WOE and now that I'm the slimmest I've been in years and feeling better and more energetic I'm ready to keep on truckin' until I reach goal and maintenance. I loved when the cardiologist was surprised at the numbers and the weight.

Think of all the other benefits you're getting of this WOE....sorry to sound so preaching as I really have no basis for it, just a reminder there are other benefits to the weight loss.
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:46 PM   #10
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Well, I am one who has said, I can't wait to get to maintenance because I am going to add wine and dessert on DD as well as UD. Guess what? I am learning the longer that I do JUDDD, I may only be able to add this luxury sporadically even at goal. I don't want to admit this yet, but it seems that it is taking so long to arrive that I fear what the end may be.

I have noticed that some of you do not raise your DD calories when arriving at goal? Is the reason possibly from this fear that I am already experiencing?

Thank you Joy for bringing this up and CONGRATS on your accomplishment!
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Old 07-22-2012, 03:01 PM   #11
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Well, I am one who has said, I can't wait to get to maintenance because I am going to add wine and dessert on DD as well as UD. Guess what? I am learning the longer that I do JUDDD, I may only be able to add this luxury sporadically even at goal. I don't want to admit this yet, but it seems that it is taking so long to arrive that I fear what the end may be.

I have noticed that some of you do not raise your DD calories when arriving at goal? Is the reason possibly from this fear that I am already experiencing?

Thank you Joy for bringing this up and CONGRATS on your accomplishment!
Once we're at goal weight, we have to add in some additional calories to prevent further weight loss. So we can actually decide where we'd like to enjoy those cals. I like to keep my DDs on the low side still, and added more calorie to my UDs, so that some of them are downright lavish! So I still prefer to keep my cals on the low end on DDs in exchange for higher UDs. I don't do desserts much on DDs, even now.

Once I decided to do JUDDD, I pretty much decided I was going to eat anything and everything I wanted on my Up Days and not wait until later to add back what I wanted to enjoy in my diet. So I never waited until some future time to start enjoying the foods and beverages I wanted to enjoy in my life. I just started off counting the calories of everything and working it into my totals. Even if chocolate cake on an UD was costly, as to the number of calories it cost me, it was how I wanted to eat. So I was able to eat fruit and cake and bread and still lose weight, rather than waiting to allow myself those foods at some future time.
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Old 07-22-2012, 03:18 PM   #12
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I started JUDDD with everything. A glass or two of wine on an UD as well as sweets. I noticed that I struggled the next DD with hunger when I would have either.

So in an effort to keep my DD painless, have opted to take the sweets & wine out purely to tame the "hunger monster". It worked. It doesn't mean that I don't have it for birthday or special events, but it does mean not EOD. I suspect that the wine may have even stalled my losses some. It may be my imagination, but it seemed that the weekends when I indulged, the next few days, sometimes weeks went by without any losses.
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Old 07-22-2012, 03:32 PM   #13
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I started JUDDD with everything. A glass or two of wine on an UD as well as sweets. I noticed that I struggled the next DD with hunger when I would have either.

So in an effort to keep my DD painless, have opted to take the sweets & wine out purely to tame the "hunger monster". It worked. It doesn't mean that I don't have it for birthday or special events, but it does mean not EOD. I suspect that the wine may have even stalled my losses some. It may be my imagination, but it seemed that the weekends when I indulged, the next few days, sometimes weeks went by without any losses.
Great that you see the connection in what you eat and what your diet results are from it, so that if you're unable to lose weight while including certain foods in your menus.. you can kick those choices to the curb for awhile. We all individualize our eating to what seems to work for us the best and keep us the happiest while still on track. Hope you get to enjoy the foods you would like to include, soon hopefully.

Ya' gotta' do what ya' gotta do!

I did witness myself going overboard on the previously forbidden foods at the beginning, and I think I had more desire for those things since I'd withheld them from myself for quite awhile prior. I low carbed and then did general low calorie, so the goodies didn't ever fit in for me anymore. Once I told myself I could have it all with JUDDD, I did focus a bit too much on those goodies, but it didn't take too long before I realized the world would never run out of goodies. I could have them forever. I didn't have to eat them every day, every Up Day, or even every week anymore. Something would be there when I wanted it. There were always going to be more cookies, even if these got eaten by others instead of me. So now the goodies are a part of my life, but often not every day.

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Old 07-22-2012, 04:07 PM   #14
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I did focus a bit too much on those goodies, but it didn't take too long before I realized the world would never run out of goodies. I could have them forever. I didn't have to eat them every day, every Up Day, or even every week anymore. Something would be there when I wanted it. There were always going to be more cookies, even if these got eaten by others instead of me. So now the goodies are a part of my life, but often not every day.
It is good to hear this. I think I made the mistake that you speak of!
It is all good, because I definitely learned that even with a plan as awesome as JUDDD is, I have limits for now. Another thing that I learned right up front, is that for me the forbidden sweets didn't taste like I imagined in my mind. I remember making cupcakes for a special event and was so excited about having one on an UD. Umm, it was just okay, nothing like I had anticipated, even a tad too sweet. I never thought this would be something that I would observe.

I was really not very LC prior to JUDDD as I was just clean eating. I tried to stay with what felt best for me and whole foods seemed to always satisfy me. So, I never ventured far from that.
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Old 07-22-2012, 04:13 PM   #15
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I understand the bewilderment about maintenance. I reached maintenance so quickly on JUDDD (came here with what I thought were just 5# left to lose) that it made my head spin. Wasn't sure what to do next. It was such an abrupt change from the toiling on LC... but then I came to JUDDD and motored right on into goal and maintenance... wow, it surprised me.

It was a change of perspective to put it mildly. Not complaining, but really I had to adjust from all these mini-goals and celebrating and targets to reach, to just hanging out in a range of weights and hoping it stuck. Again not complaining, but just saying what a change of thinking that took.

I just took it easy on myself, tried to be laid back and investigated what I could "get away with" in maintenance. It turned out quite a bit.

I was doing MUDDD off and on too around this time. One thing that I jumped on was having FD (free days). It worked and I did not gain weight and did not have to count calories. I weighed daily to make sure I wasn't gaining back. I did notice some bounce back up the scale but started to see that this was normal and necessary.... one will not normally remain the exact same weight for days and weeks on end.

I established a maintenance range for myself. I set 4 - 5 pounds that I'd let myself bounce up and down in. If I went over the range, I knew to get back on the calorie counting regimen of UDs. I had no problem and in fact, continued to drop some weight for months after reaching my original goal. This was somewhat disorienting, as I'd always considered the 140s to be my "set-point". I have since learned to adjust and love the 130s.

I maintained well below my original goal weight for 7 months without trouble. I have learned quite a bit about my body and the kinds of things I can expect, particularly during hormonal times.

But lately I've gone through some health issues and huge changes to my diet, and I still haven't seen where the chips are falling just yet. I will have to update once I get to the end of July. Was 138.8# today and have seen that two days in a row now. Best weight in over two weeks, so hopefully things are settling down for me again.

I should add that I have not been doing any J/MUDDD really for the whole month of July, just some "basic" IF, such as skipping b'fast or whatever. So if the weight does not drop a little lower over the coming days/weeks, I will go back to a more regimented schedule for a while.
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Old 07-22-2012, 04:21 PM   #16
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Sophie,

I am looking forward to eating FD here and there for UD. I have played around with it when I spent a few weeks in maintenance and actually notice that it is really not bad to eat only to sated. I recently shifted my calories on UD to having lower protein adding some carb and more fat. I am sated well before the 1700 UD cal, for instance today I am at 1314 and wondering if I will be able to get the rest in. It is interesting how this works.
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Old 07-22-2012, 05:09 PM   #17
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Sophie, I really appreciate your thoughts on this transitioning process. And I hope I get to move into the 130's and stay there relatively easily as well. I already experiment with what I can get away with and still lose, it's actually kind of fun. You get to learn about your body and food psyche. Even if I am losing pretty slowly, I still see a downward trend. Yay!

Maybe I am overanalyzing a bit how I will handle it when I get to my goal? I know already that I am interacting with food way differently than I have in the past, in a much better way--in general. I still on occasion kind of lose control if you get my meaning. But funny, it's not even in the realm of how I used to lose control when I was LCing or eating lowfat/lowcal every day.

Definitions please? What does each of these encompass in the way of calorie intake? Thanks.

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Old 07-22-2012, 06:38 PM   #18
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Really love this thread. 130 is not my goal weight, but I have maintained this weight for a few months now. I find that in general, I do eat far less starches/sugar than I had in the past. I don't do well if I eat bread or pasta daily--I start to gain easily, and I find it makes me hungrier. And then I start to crave things--it's a real slippery slope.

I have, however, indulged in bread, wine, pasta and the occasional dessert at least once a week, with no untoward effects. I found (before learning about JUDDD), that I naturally ate less the next day--some days I wasn't hungry at all after "enjoying" myself.

I found JUDDD when I discovered I could not do the hCG diet any longer, when I decided to lose the last 10 pounds.

I believe this is how I will maintain once I do get to goal--being conscious of how I eat on a daily basis (I always "check with my belly" to see if I'm really hungry or just "wanting" something), and letting myself indulge once a week.

And I learned after trying JUDDD with no weight loss for 2 weeks that I still have to be a conscious eater on my up days--I was taking liberty with them when in the past I was only doing that once a week.

So I know that for me, I will have to eat consciously for the rest of my life. And I'm okay with that!

Now if I could only start losing weight again!
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Old 07-22-2012, 07:46 PM   #19
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Well.....I'm having a different problem with maintenance. I can't seem to get out of that 'need to lose weight' mindset. I continue to slowly lose even though I say I am done. I really did not want to go below 120 and here I am at 117.....and a bit upset that the scale showed 117.4 this a.m. And I should not be. I just can't seem to accept that I've lost enough. Looking at the charts for my height and small frame my range is 114-127. I know it's just a chart but 120 is right in the middle and honestly is a good weight for me. I'm not sure how to get my brain to accept that and do what I need to do to maintain versus lose. *sigh*
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:26 AM   #20
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Kathy, I get what you mean. It's hard to change tracks. Particularly if you've been on one, and successful, for a while.
Sophie, I love the description of your JUDDD trip. I like the flexibility.
I haven't experienced the pleasure some describe of launching back into carbs. When I add junk carbs - so far - I start behaving like an addict. I cannot seem to respect numbers when sugar is part of the deal. So, no sugar for me, most days, unless I'm willing to have an UUAD. This level of "control" may be with me for a while, so at some point I'd like to start exploring flexibility in other ways - Muddding, perhaps, or fast5ing holidays, just to broaden the scope of all this in maintenance. Sophie, I like the way you easily shift your choices to take your weight where you want it to go.
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Old 07-23-2012, 06:57 AM   #21
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You know, I think I just want freedom, and JUDDD is helping me redefine freedom. I used to think freedom meant eating as self-destructively as I felt compelled to.
Now I suspect it will mean being free of the compulsive stuff, and finding a balance of structure and flexibility that feels good and whole and relaxed. Some of that has happened already.
This JUDDD thing is SO much more interesting than I understood at first. And man, I still have a lot to learn through maintenance.
Makes me happy for all of us.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:01 AM   #22
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This is very hard for me to post

I got to my goal weight on May 1 and was so happy with how I looked. Then on July 1 the scale showed I had regained 3 # , today the scale says I am up 4 # since June 1

Last week I made the CO bark, enough for 4 days, I had it all eaten in 1 &1/2 days

I feel like I do not belong anywhere Just do not know where to post!

My gain shows so much as I am 5'2", the gain I see is from the belly button to the "hair-line"

I am so down in the dumps! I had 8 # to lose and now have gained back half of all that I lost.

Seems like I just want to eat, and at times I tell myself "go for it, eat" then sometimes a day later or even the same day I am ashamed

I am one that use to only step on the scale the first of every month as the scale made me feel depressed too much, this month I step on almost everyday

Thanks all for listening!

Leona

ps - this sure sounds like a "pity party" Sorry about that
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:24 AM   #23
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Kathy, I'm there with you. My original goal was 130. I have been at 124 the entire month of July, and the past 3 days have seen 125 and it's upsetting to me. So I'm not sure how to get my brain to accept that I'm good here either.

I've been in maintenance about 3 months, and I think I finally am getting rid of the Fat Brain, and seeing myself as I am. I've seen this most when I shop. At first, I grabbed the size 8's, because I didn't believe I'd fit in anything smaller. And had to go back out of the dressing room for the smaller sizes because those fell off me. Then I started grabbing 6's, because I figured the few 4's I actually did buy were a fluke. And had to go back out again. Then, I tried bringing in both 4's and 6's and tried on the 6's first. FINALLY, the last time I went shopping, I only took 4's in with me. (I didn't always buy anything when I shopped, and it's only been 4 or so trips, just so you don't think I shop all the time. LOL)

Lately, something that has been helping me is thinking of food similarly to how I think of money. (maybe the finance major is asserting herself after all these years, lol). We are on a pretty strict financial budget. Money is tight. Likely will be for quite some time in the future. I could rant and rave how unfair it is the xxx family can go on vacation and spend money without thought, but that wouldn't be very productive. We have what we have, and it is my job to do the best with it I can. I can't browse online and put whatever pleases me into my cart. I have to plan every purchase. If we plan a splurge, we have to figure out what we are going to give up to make it happen. If we splurge unplanned, we may have to give up something we really wanted to do to cover it. Sometimes events come up that we have no control over and we have to spend money we didn't intend, and the result is the same, something else has to be given up to make up for it. Yes, I have to think about money way more than someone who has more of it. And yes, I will continue to have to think about it likely for the rest of our lives.

Transitioning to food--I have a body that can't do refined carbs/sugar. I have blood sugar issues. Indulging in these foods will cause real and serious health issues for me in the future. I also have a metabolism that will cause me to gain weight if I eat thoughtlessly and as much as I want. I have a calorie budget that I must stay within. And if I don't respect that, I will suffer the consequences just as surely as I will fall deeply in debt if I spend money thoughtlessly and as much as I would like to.

The discipline to control my eating is really not so different from the discipline required to control my spending.

I think maintenance after 6 mos or so might look more relaxed than before then. I'm still concerned I'm going to blow it and gain it all back. And by relaxed, I don't mean that I'll suddenly be able to eat the things I can't, I mean simply that acceptance will be more entrenched and it won't bother me as much that I can't.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:32 AM   #24
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Tina,
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:38 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leonak View Post
This is very hard for me to post

I got to my goal weight on May 1 and was so happy with how I looked. Then on July 1 the scale showed I had regained 3 # , today the scale says I am up 4 # since June 1

Last week I made the CO bark, enough for 4 days, I had it all eaten in 1 &1/2 days

I feel like I do not belong anywhere Just do not know where to post!

My gain shows so much as I am 5'2", the gain I see is from the belly button to the "hair-line"

I am so down in the dumps! I had 8 # to lose and now have gained back half of all that I lost.

Seems like I just want to eat, and at times I tell myself "go for it, eat" then sometimes a day later or even the same day I am ashamed

I am one that use to only step on the scale the first of every month as the scale made me feel depressed too much, this month I step on almost everyday

Thanks all for listening!

Leona

ps - this sure sounds like a "pity party" Sorry about that
Leona, first, take this:
Next, I think this is exactly why I wanted this thread! We start in WL, we do well, and a different set of issues and challenges show up when we hit the goal we set. It's like being tossed into a graduate program or something. And although it goes smoothly for some, it doesn't for everybody. A rocky start of maintenance might look like a weight gain, or too much weight lost, or whatever.
So maybe you're just absolutely on track and meeting your maintenance bumps.
Is that possible?
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:48 AM   #26
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It makes me laugh to realize I thought all the tough stuff would end when I reached "the number". Or that if I was strong enough for WL, maintenance would be a piece of cake. (Which I could eat or not eat, because I'd be that kind of skinny woman by the time I got to maintenance. Some of you are this way. I'm not there yet.)
I like Tina's thought that it might take months to relax into maintenance. Means I don't need to be perfect at this any more than I was perfect during WL.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:48 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mykidsteacher View Post
Kathy, I'm there with you. My original goal was 130. I have been at 124 the entire month of July, and the past 3 days have seen 125 and it's upsetting to me. So I'm not sure how to get my brain to accept that I'm good here either.

I've been in maintenance about 3 months, and I think I finally am getting rid of the Fat Brain, and seeing myself as I am. I've seen this most when I shop. At first, I grabbed the size 8's, because I didn't believe I'd fit in anything smaller. And had to go back out of the dressing room for the smaller sizes because those fell off me. Then I started grabbing 6's, because I figured the few 4's I actually did buy were a fluke. And had to go back out again. Then, I tried bringing in both 4's and 6's and tried on the 6's first. FINALLY, the last time I went shopping, I only took 4's in with me. (I didn't always buy anything when I shopped, and it's only been 4 or so trips, just so you don't think I shop all the time. LOL)

Lately, something that has been helping me is thinking of food similarly to how I think of money. (maybe the finance major is asserting herself after all these years, lol). We are on a pretty strict financial budget. Money is tight. Likely will be for quite some time in the future. I could rant and rave how unfair it is the xxx family can go on vacation and spend money without thought, but that wouldn't be very productive. We have what we have, and it is my job to do the best with it I can. I can't browse online and put whatever pleases me into my cart. I have to plan every purchase. If we plan a splurge, we have to figure out what we are going to give up to make it happen. If we splurge unplanned, we may have to give up something we really wanted to do to cover it. Sometimes events come up that we have no control over and we have to spend money we didn't intend, and the result is the same, something else has to be given up to make up for it. Yes, I have to think about money way more than someone who has more of it. And yes, I will continue to have to think about it likely for the rest of our lives.

Transitioning to food--I have a body that can't do refined carbs/sugar. I have blood sugar issues. Indulging in these foods will cause real and serious health issues for me in the future. I also have a metabolism that will cause me to gain weight if I eat thoughtlessly and as much as I want. I have a calorie budget that I must stay within. And if I don't respect that, I will suffer the consequences just as surely as I will fall deeply in debt if I spend money thoughtlessly and as much as I would like to.

The discipline to control my eating is really not so different from the discipline required to control my spending.

I think maintenance after 6 mos or so might look more relaxed than before then. I'm still concerned I'm going to blow it and gain it all back. And by relaxed, I don't mean that I'll suddenly be able to eat the things I can't, I mean simply that acceptance will be more entrenched and it won't bother me as much that I can't.
What a FABULOUS post. What a great way to view eating and calories and all of it... I am going to print this out and keep it. Whenever I am growing lax, I'll read this again, as I'm going to have it posted above my desk, right on my pinboard. Thanks for this concept. It's a very sensible and workable way to view our eating and the calories we each, individually, have to use.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:16 AM   #28
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I love your budget analogy, Tina.....it is right on.
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Old 07-23-2012, 12:50 PM   #29
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I just wanted to add a "thank-you" for starting this thread.. i have played with the whole idea of maintenance.. and wondered if the number will ever register in my head what has become of my body.. I struggle with each small victory to "see" the progress and most days my head does not let me feel comfort in what i have done,,, I pray that when i get there,(where ever there is) that i can learn to love the thin woman in the mirror.. No debbie downer here, just wanted to throw out my thoughts here for reflextion. And to say thankyou for this wonderfull thread with sooo much information already.. i look forward to reading the posts as they unfold here.. we all seam to have so many of the same thoughts and its comforting to know some one else has been where we are. and PAT you are a wonderfull wondefull counselor.. very wise and compasionate woman to you luv~
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Last edited by sterlinggirl; 07-23-2012 at 12:54 PM..
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Old 07-23-2012, 01:07 PM   #30
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Great and thought provoking thread, JoyJoy. And, so many awesome posts, too.

This is a great read for me today. I wanted to just come on here this morning and start a thread asking for some advice but I'm glad I saw this and read it because it's so helpful.
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