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Old 07-21-2012, 08:28 PM   #1
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Coping with JUDDD challenges day by day

I'm going to knock on wood here, but it seems to be that the days when my stomach would ache, burn, cramp and otherwise turn me into an angry witch seem to be in the past. I'm still experiencing hunger on down days, but I'm fighting a different monster entirely.

And now it's time to start figuring out coping mechanisms that will keep me on track when I am not in control of what is available to be eaten.

Today was a very irritating Down Day for me because I had a board meeting for my local writer's organization and it was held at a restaurant. I had no idea what to expect at this restaurant in terms of what choices would be available and since it wasn't a chain, I knew I wouldn't have the faintest idea what the calorie counts are.

This is the only thing about JUDDD that has started to stress me out. When I can't count. When I can't know. When I can't get all the data to make the right decision...

I'm either going to need to make peace with the fact that sometimes I just am not going to know exactly what I'm eating, or decide never to eat anything that doesn't come with a label.

Anyway, this morning I wasn't hungry yet, but I was nervous that I would be. I was nervous that hunger would weaken my willpower at the restaurant. And so I ate a deviled egg even though I was not yet hungry for it. And this made me crankier because I've been trying to train myself not to eat pre-emptively, only to eat when hungry.

At the restaurant, I had a salad with balsamic vinagrette dressing and some grilled chicken. Unfortunately, I didn't know what the calorie count was in the dressing. So, either I had a perfect Down Day or I went over my numbers and had a bad Down Day.

The fact that this not knowing has me so totally bent out of shape has taught me something about myself that I'm not sure I realized. On my many many previous diets, if I had a less than perfect day, I would go into full-on 'Well, I've blown it, so what's the use?' mode even if I hadn't blown it, but simply didn't have perfect data.

Things in my world so often have to be done perfectly or not at all. Maybe that's got to change because perfect can sometimes be the enemy of good.
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Old 07-21-2012, 08:42 PM   #2
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Well the good thing is you've realized your perfectionism - which none of us are so ultimately it always leads to failure. The great thing is you have broken a negative behavior of an all or nothing approach!!! Yay!!! That is HUGE!!

The great thing I've found in my short, short time of doing JUDDD is that it is vert forgiving and the whole WOE is tha it is adaptable and not stressful. So when you are in a situation like at a restaurant make the best choice you can and let I go. You can only do what you can do. I'm sure even worst case scenario if you are over 500 cals, your still technically on a DD.

Don't be so hard on yourself....focus on progress NOT perfection. You have come a log way in two weeks not just by losing nearly 10 lbs. but huge mental barriers as well!

Hugs & KUTGW!!!
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:44 AM   #3
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I can relate with what you are saying and I think you are on the right track in realizing that it is ok to just try your best to stay on track and although it might not be perfect over the long run we will get the DD calories correct enough most of the time to get results.
I have found one strategy that works well for me that might be useful in the situation that you describe. I still panic about getting hungry on DD. Not sure why I think I might starve if I am out for a few hours on a DD. I know it isn't rational but what I do to get around it is I carry a really good protein bar (tasty one with caramel) that I know has 180 cals in it. Rather then pre-eat before I go to a restaurant on a DD to keep from having too much I tell myself that if I don't find anything that I guesstimate is in my DD calorie range that I can eat the bar as soon as I get to my car. This has helped me to convincingly tell others I am out with that I am not that hungry and also is reasuring to me that I don't need to eat just in case I get too hungry as I have my emergency bar. I have been carrying the same bar with me for 3months and have not yet needed it as I find that even when I think I am going to run to my car to eat it I am always fine when I get away from the food. Not sure if this might work for you but thought I would bring it up just in case this works for you as well.
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:02 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephdray View Post
Things in my world so often have to be done perfectly or not at all. Maybe that's got to change because perfect can sometimes be the enemy of good.
It sounds like you made excellent, thoughtful choices and stayed below your RMR - which caloric level will keep your sirtuin enzymes flowing (and move you further into fat-burning and away from hunger pain).

You are evolving very, very nicely, Grasshopper.
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Old 07-22-2012, 08:53 AM   #5
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You're doing a great job, Steph.

We aren't perfect and I know for me if I stop striving for perfectionism, it becomes freeing. Instead of trying to be perfect (in anything, whether it's eating or playing music or writing) I just decide to just do the best I can in that moment in time.... whether it's enjoying a meal in a restaurant or whatever else it might be. If I mess up, I can aim to do better next time. And so on, but not striving for an impossible goal of perfection, which can be a life and soul-destroying quest (sounds dramatic, but in some ways it's true in that it can prevent us from enjoying life by trying to make things perfect instead of doing the best we can and enjoying life along the way).

Glad you are finding what many JUDDDsters have come to know - that on JUDDD an overly indulgent meal or lost calorie count doesn't mean you've blown your diet. You just start fresh each day. All the UD/DD start to blur into your past and you see that less than stellar ones here and there aren't the end of the world... the DDs have a way of correcting things over time and you eventually get where you want to go.

KUTGW, my bud!
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:35 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Babsbabs View Post
II carry a really good protein bar (tasty one with caramel) that I know has 180 cals in it. Rather then pre-eat before I go to a restaurant on a DD to keep from having too much I tell myself that if I don't find anything that I guesstimate is in my DD calorie range that I can eat the bar as soon as I get to my car. This has helped me to convincingly tell others I am out with that I am not that hungry and also is reasuring to me that I don't need to eat just in case I get too hungry as I have my emergency bar. I have been carrying the same bar with me for 3months and have not yet needed it as I find that even when I think I am going to run to my car to eat it I am always fine when I get away from the food. Not sure if this might work for you but thought I would bring it up just in case this works for you as well.
what a great strategy, Barb! I'm going to try that!
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:19 PM   #7
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Barb, your strategy is genius! I'm going to us it too!
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:30 PM   #8
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I know its stressful not knowing exactly what you put in your mouth but really even when we count, we are not absolutely sure that we are accurate down to the calorie. Plus, I don't think its true that we have to follow a very narrow yellow brick road to lose weight in that "Stephanie has to eat 495.6 calories to lose weight and everything under or over she will not". What really needs to happen is you need to have a very good amount of DD's with a few semi-controlled UD's and let the rest fall as they may. Even if you only are perfect 80 of the time, you are still going to lose weight. It may not be as fast as if you were perfect 90 percent of the time but it will still go down. Think of JUDDD as a scale that slides from extremes each day and how far you push your food either way will change each day. Its that change that makes this WOE so effective so don't worry about a few don't know days and just enjoy the power of eating this way.
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Last edited by brewstate; 07-22-2012 at 01:34 PM..
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Old 07-22-2012, 01:52 PM   #9
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"Glad you are finding what many JUDDDsters have come to know - that on JUDDD an overly indulgent meal or lost calorie count doesn't mean you've blown your diet. You just start fresh each day."

So happy to hear this. Takes the pressure off to be perfect.
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:50 PM   #10
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Steph, I think your doing great and it is true that even when everything has a label it is not a totally exact science. I aim to keep my DD under 360, but at 460 I will still lose weight. An occasional 600 calorie DD will still lead to weight loss. Letting go of that "all or nothing" thinking helped me on many levels- not just JUDDD. If I'm feeling really worried about calorie counts and I'm in a restaurant I get a house salad and just put vinegar and a touch of salt on it. I drink a lot of water with lemon and always carry ezsweets in my purse in case I need a drop in the water. I stopped diet sodas for the most part, but if I really need it out to eat I allow myself 1 glass a week. KUTGW!
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Old 07-22-2012, 02:54 PM   #11
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I have the exact same issues on DD, Stephanie! I think you made a great choice and I have to remind myself that I am doing this for the long term and one or two higher DD here and there are not the ruin of the goal.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:53 AM   #12
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Life happens, and JUDDD can survive it.

My dh and I both have perfectionist tendencies, and sometimes, it can be paralyzing. (He's an engineer, and I do believe the words "good enough" are simply not in his lexicon, lol). Sometimes, the key is to just do it anyway. And when it's over, you realize that you lack of perfectionism wasn't the end of the world you imagined it to be.

We can tell you over and over that JUDDD is forgiving and you will be fine with the occasional day that you can't count exactly as you like. But really, you living it, and seeing that you didn't gain, or if you did that it was handled with the next couple of dd's will be what will convince you of the truth of it. And by living it, you will discover the strategies that work for YOU to deal with it.

Barb's protein bar is a good one. Some people write all the different dd calorie levels (up to 45%) on a piece of paper and put it in their wallet. Even all the way up to 45% of your UD calories, you are in WLM and still can consider it a DD. That means if your UD is 2000 calories, you can have up to 900 and STILL not have 'blown' your dd.

Would you want to do that every DD? Of course not. But for the rare time when life throws you a curve like that, maybe it can give peace of mind that it's going to be ok.

It's still new, and fragile, and you want to do it "right". Totally understandable. Time will teach you what flexibility YOU have with JUDDD. And I can pretty much guarantee that it will be different from the flexibility that I (or anyone else) has.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:11 AM   #13
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When I deal with days like this, I keep in mind that the Down Day numbers are flexible. The 20% number (for me 448 calories) is just the lowest of the weight loss numbers. 25% (560 calories) is still weight loss, as are 30% (672) and 35% (784). It's not until you get into 40% (896) and 45% (1008) that it's called "weight loss/maintenance". Above that, 50% - 60% are "weight loss mode".

So I figure that I have a range of 448 - 784 calories for pure weight loss, and up to 1008 for much slower weight loss. While I aim for 500-600 calories on my DDs, I don't consider it a completely blown DD unless I'm above 1000 for the day. The plan is actually quite flexible... that's one of the main reasons I can keep at it without complete frustration, throwing up my hands in disgust, and eating everything that's not nailed down.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:25 AM   #14
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I think you have hit on one of the best things about this way of eating- there is enough flexibility that one meal will not "blow" your diet. For me, that takes away the temptation of saying to myself, "Well I blew it for today. I will start again tomorrow/Monday/whenever and just get it out of my system until then."

I have tended to be the type of person who is either all in or all out. JUDDD is really helping me address that with myself.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:36 AM   #15
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Quote:
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Life happens, and JUDDD can survive it.

My dh and I both have perfectionist tendencies, and sometimes, it can be paralyzing. (He's an engineer, and I do believe the words "good enough" are simply not in his lexicon, lol). Sometimes, the key is to just do it anyway. And when it's over, you realize that you lack of perfectionism wasn't the end of the world you imagined it to be.

We can tell you over and over that JUDDD is forgiving and you will be fine with the occasional day that you can't count exactly as you like. But really, you living it, and seeing that you didn't gain, or if you did that it was handled with the next couple of dd's will be what will convince you of the truth of it. And by living it, you will discover the strategies that work for YOU to deal with it.

Barb's protein bar is a good one. Some people write all the different dd calorie levels (up to 45%) on a piece of paper and put it in their wallet. Even all the way up to 45% of your UD calories, you are in WLM and still can consider it a DD. That means if your UD is 2000 calories, you can have up to 900 and STILL not have 'blown' your dd.

Would you want to do that every DD? Of course not. But for the rare time when life throws you a curve like that, maybe it can give peace of mind that it's going to be ok.

It's still new, and fragile, and you want to do it "right". Totally understandable. Time will teach you what flexibility YOU have with JUDDD. And I can pretty much guarantee that it will be different from the flexibility that I (or anyone else) has.


Love this and it is true. We all need to remember that the greater good of the Sirt-1 is in full force and one day here and there is not going to disrupt our excellent plan.
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Old 07-23-2012, 12:44 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephdray View Post
I'm going to knock on wood here, but it seems to be that the days when my stomach would ache, burn, cramp and otherwise turn me into an angry witch seem to be in the past. I'm still experiencing hunger on down days, but I'm fighting a different monster entirely.

And now it's time to start figuring out coping mechanisms that will keep me on track when I am not in control of what is available to be eaten.

Today was a very irritating Down Day for me because I had a board meeting for my local writer's organization and it was held at a restaurant. I had no idea what to expect at this restaurant in terms of what choices would be available and since it wasn't a chain, I knew I wouldn't have the faintest idea what the calorie counts are.

This is the only thing about JUDDD that has started to stress me out. When I can't count. When I can't know. When I can't get all the data to make the right decision...

I'm either going to need to make peace with the fact that sometimes I just am not going to know exactly what I'm eating, or decide never to eat anything that doesn't come with a label.

Anyway, this morning I wasn't hungry yet, but I was nervous that I would be. I was nervous that hunger would weaken my willpower at the restaurant. And so I ate a deviled egg even though I was not yet hungry for it. And this made me crankier because I've been trying to train myself not to eat pre-emptively, only to eat when hungry.

At the restaurant, I had a salad with balsamic vinagrette dressing and some grilled chicken. Unfortunately, I didn't know what the calorie count was in the dressing. So, either I had a perfect Down Day or I went over my numbers and had a bad Down Day.

The fact that this not knowing has me so totally bent out of shape has taught me something about myself that I'm not sure I realized. On my many many previous diets, if I had a less than perfect day, I would go into full-on 'Well, I've blown it, so what's the use?' mode even if I hadn't blown it, but simply didn't have perfect data.

Things in my world so often have to be done perfectly or not at all. Maybe that's got to change because perfect can sometimes be the enemy of good.
From a recovering perfectionist let me tell you that when I discovered a name and symptoms of this, it helped.

What you are experiencing is called "Defeated Perfectionism".

My mother used to say, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right."

Light bulb moment for me and new thought: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing. Period." It's worth doing the best I can do it right now in this moment. Tomorrow I may know how to do it better. An hour from now I may want a do-over. But, keep in mind, what you did today is most likely better than what you did before.

This seems to be especially true when we start eating with intention and with goals in mind. Your choice of salad and balsamic dressing was, no doubt, much more "perfect" than past choices of throwing all caution and reservation to the wind. IMHO, anyway.

Defeated perfectionists are closely acquainted with the paralysis of analysis. They don't follow through with something when faced with the possibility it won't be flawless.

You are so young! I have a son who is a die hard perfectionist. I have told him he will grow out of it. I was the worst in my 20's and 30's and started to let up just a bit in my 40's when I began to see the follies of my ways.

You are great. You are doing great. I'm going to have to look for the thread about keeping this WOE of simple and not over thinking it.

BTW: Most oil and vinegar based salad dressings have 90-100 calories per serving and one serving equals two tablespoons. Ask for your dressing on the side and eyeball a serving. Or, what I do all the time now because I really like it is to ask for oil and vinegar to be brought to the table (usually EVOO and red wine or balsamic is brought in cruet sets. Pourable oils are 120 calories per tablespoon.

Please don't let the over thinking of JUDD steal your JOY!! Life is too short. This is advice from an old lady.
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Old 07-23-2012, 01:28 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post

Please don't let the over thinking of JUDD steal your JOY!! Life is too short. This is advice from an old lady.
Here's another old lady who is also a recovering perfectionist. I could not agree more.
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:02 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
My mother used to say, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right."

Light bulb moment for me and new thought: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing. Period." It's worth doing the best I can do it right now in this moment. Tomorrow I may know how to do it better. An hour from now I may want a do-over. But, keep in mind, what you did today is most likely better than what you did before.
Been there. Enjoyed life a lot more once I realized what I looked on as 'perfection' and 'the best I can do right now in this moment' do not always overlap. And that the best I can do right now is frequently of greater value than perfection would have been once I worked at it, and tuned it, and finally achieved it.

Yam-Yam, I absolutely adore you!!!!

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Old 07-24-2012, 11:36 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yam-Yam View Post
From a recovering perfectionist let me tell you that when I discovered a name and symptoms of this, it helped.

What you are experiencing is called "Defeated Perfectionism".

My mother used to say, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right."

Light bulb moment for me and new thought: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing. Period." It's worth doing the best I can do it right now in this moment. Tomorrow I may know how to do it better.
OMG, Yam-Yam, I could kiss you. This is so spot on. And wise.

Quote:
But, keep in mind, what you did today is most likely better than what you did before. This seems to be especially true when we start eating with intention and with goals in mind. Your choice of salad and balsamic dressing was, no doubt, much more "perfect" than past choices of throwing all caution and reservation to the wind. IMHO, anyway.
It was so much worse than that. I can count the number of times I have ordered a ridiculously plain salad with balsamic dressing in a restaurant on one finger. That's right. All of one time in living memory. So, yeah, I guess we can call that a win!

Quote:
Defeated perfectionists are closely acquainted with the paralysis of analysis. They don't follow through with something when faced with the possibility it won't be flawless.
Absolutely. And thank you for helping me get over it!

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Old 07-26-2012, 08:53 AM   #20
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