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Old 07-03-2012, 08:52 AM   #1
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You Win Some You Lose Some...?

I finally, finally, finally reached goal yesterday, which I am so very happy about. I know I didn't have much to lose at all compared to most of you, but at my height of 5'1.5" with shoes on, that weight made me the shape of a short round meatball for so long. It's been a long journey and throughout almost 2 decades of one diet after another, I had never reached goal. I was at 105.1 yesterday, and had been hovering around high 105.x and low 106.x for the up bounce days, so I'm happy with it and am calling goal.

The thing is, timing is awful for me. I was just laid off yesterday at work. I'd been there for 15 years and it's the only job I've had, so I'm fortunate that I've never been unemployed but I'm trying to sort out what I need to do and am sort of one step away from panic. I wasn't fired, just "restructured" out of it, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

I'm applying for unemployment today, and I need to dig up and dust off my resume. That I know. I feel like my mind is going a mile a minute but not necessarily giving me the right info. I barely slept last night. I'm living with dbf but we can't afford to go on his salary alone. I know there are probably a million things I'm not thinking of that I need to do. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I would truly appreciate it.
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:14 AM   #2
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First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on reaching goal!!! You have worked so hard for this.

Now, Big and I'm so sorry you were restructured. How unsettling. Please, please take care of yourself. You are a strong woman. Take one step at a time, Dear. Working on your resume right now is very important.

When this happened to my SIL he read a couple of motivational books about how to have an edge when being interviewed and submitting your resume. It kept him going to set his mind on positive thoughts and helpful information.

I'll be praying for wisdom for you and provision in this uncertain time. What a bummer to have to go through this right now.

Know we are thinking of you and hoping for the best. I know some wiser Budds will pop in here to give you encouragement and ideas.

I just saw your post and wanted to just wrap my arms around you. Breathe. Take care of you. Put one foot in front of the other.
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:18 AM   #3
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First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS on getting to goal! That's an amazing accomplishment. 50 lbs is definitely a lot to lose and YOU did it!!



Now, about the job situation. That sucks. There's no other way to put it. It just does. I'm not sure what your belief system is, but I personally believe everything happens for a reason. Call it fate, or karma, or kismet, or divine intervention--whatever. I think there's a reason your low point happened at the same time you had a great accomplishment. To me it says rebirth, renewal. It makes me think there's something better for you in your future, and you needed to be kicked out of your comfort zone to find it.

DH lost his job over a year ago. To be fair, he started his own business and it was doing well, so he quit his other job. After a few months, his business crashed and burned. He took unemployment and a very low-paying part-time job to help supplement. We agreed at the time that he would look for something he would enjoy and not just take the first opportunity that came his way. The road was long and hard, but he recently took a job he is enjoying and we're back on track.

All this is simply to say, you WILL come out of this stronger and better than before. Get yourself set up with unemployment and keep your eyes and ears open, and something perfect for YOU will come along.

And enjoy maintenance!!!
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:28 AM   #4
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I love to wake up to someone else reaching goal!!!

I am sorry about the job, but will be thinking about any ideas that I may know. I don't know how old you are, but this may be a great time to go back to school if you are so inclined. And I am one who has never thought it a bad idea to have two different trades or fields of occupation. Love your input here at JUDDD!
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Old 07-03-2012, 10:29 AM   #5
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Vilanteira! Total happiness to hear you have reached goal! Total misery to hear you got caught in a restructuring!

I know one question that comes up frequently is, was your job your interest? Do you have hobbies that might lead you in a new direction? Way back when, what did you want to be when you grew up?

This CAN be an opportunity. Search the web, get the books, think about whether it is time to reinvent yourself.
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Old 07-03-2012, 11:08 AM   #6
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and But i do want to say congrats: on the loss~ WTG you~
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Old 07-03-2012, 11:47 AM   #7
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Thanks so much for the love and advice. You guys don't know how much this means to me. JBs really are the best. I'm rivers right now. Just a flood of emotion all the sudden which is weird since I didn't cry at all yesterday. I just got back from the doctor's office (I was advised by h/r to make all my medical appointments and checkups right away as benefits end next Thursday) for my physical and have my dental and gynecologist scheduled this week as well. I haven't had a physical for a year and a half so I really need one. I can't afford COBRA so I'm squeezing them all in.

I'm turning 36 in two days this Thursday and while I'm overwhelmed, what you guys are saying is hitting me and I really do want to turn this thing around and make it about new beginnings and opportunities. I've been extremely unhappy in my job after the first few years but always felt I should stay because pay was decent and everyone else around me all agreed. In recent years I started feeing like it was sapping my life energy away though. I lacked the courage to do anything about it. I think this really is life's way of kicking me in the butt to make the changes now. Dawn, your husband's story really resonates with me and is very similar to how I feel. I'll need to take temp jobs and whatever I can find pretty soon but I also want to do research and talk to people and figure out how to get myself onto a career that I truly enjoy and can live with.

I'll definitely be looking up resources and getting all the career guides and resume help I can get. Thank you all so much for reminding me of what I need to do and what I want to do. This JUDDD forum is really something else. I don't think there's any place better online. I come here for weight loss support and end up getting great advice, humor, camaraderie and wonderful support on so much more of my life than just weight loss. The stress is there but I'm feeling anxious and kind of excited to make these changes in my life. Planning to move forward now and I'm not looking back, either weight-wise or career-wise!!!
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Old 07-03-2012, 11:55 AM   #8
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Way to go on G O A L!!!!!

A job shouldn't seem like WORK! Find something your heart is truly in, and although there will be days you would prefer to stay home, you will most often not mind going in!
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Old 07-03-2012, 11:59 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post


First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS on getting to goal! That's an amazing accomplishment. 50 lbs is definitely a lot to lose and YOU did it!!



Now, about the job situation. That sucks. There's no other way to put it. It just does. I'm not sure what your belief system is, but I personally believe everything happens for a reason. Call it fate, or karma, or kismet, or divine intervention--whatever. I think there's a reason your low point happened at the same time you had a great accomplishment. To me it says rebirth, renewal. It makes me think there's something better for you in your future, and you needed to be kicked out of your comfort zone to find it.

DH lost his job over a year ago. To be fair, he started his own business and it was doing well, so he quit his other job. After a few months, his business crashed and burned. He took unemployment and a very low-paying part-time job to help supplement. We agreed at the time that he would look for something he would enjoy and not just take the first opportunity that came his way. The road was long and hard, but he recently took a job he is enjoying and we're back on track.

All this is simply to say, you WILL come out of this stronger and better than before. Get yourself set up with unemployment and keep your eyes and ears open, and something perfect for YOU will come along.

And enjoy maintenance!!!


Congrats on reaching goal...I, too, believe that things happen for a reason and TPTB decided this was the time to kick you out of the nest and that you were strong enough to search for what you truly want. You didn't mention if you truly loved the job you were doing and if there's a possibility of being recalled. Also, do you have moneys saved so that it's not hand-to-mouth until you get the first unemployment check. I don't have any recommendations of things to do when you lose your job; I joined the Army when I was 33 because our business failed. Of course, I had always wanted to be in the Army and they changed the rules enough that year so that I could join. I spent 22 years there and 16 more in Govt Service doing the same, great job. An example of how things come together at just the right time.

Don't ever lose hope, things will change for the better. BTW, don't forget networking, most new jobs are found through the connections you made at the last one. Good luck, gal, you'll make it fine.

(looks like you answered some of the questions while I was typing....it really does look like the TPTB decided it was time for a change....good luck!
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Old 07-03-2012, 12:04 PM   #10
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I am so sorry to hear about the job loss. I am sending my ((HUGS)) and best wishes. I also believe there is always a reason for everything that happens in our life. Something good will come out out of this. Remember, there is always a sunshine after a storm. Try to stay positive!!!

Big congratulations on the weight loss
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Old 07-03-2012, 12:05 PM   #11
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Congrats on reaching goal!! That is a wonderful accomplishment and you should be proud.

Sounds like you are being proactive on taking care of what you need to do. You will come through this fine. And being at a healthy weight will make the stress on your body less, you will feel healthier and more confident as you interview for new positions.

As someone whose life has recently been uprooted by unemployment (DH's, not mine), I can say how important it is to take stock, look around and try to decide what will feed your soul as you search. You'll be happier for it. On a practical note, one book I can recommend is What Color is Your Parachute. Lots of practical advice for job hunters and career changers. He re-does the book every year to keep up with trends in the marketplace, so getting the most recent edition is useful.

And chin up, sweetie! You have made a major change in your life and this is just another one. Someday soon you'll look back on this and be happy that it happened.
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Old 07-03-2012, 12:07 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vilanteira View Post
Thanks so much for the love and advice. You guys don't know how much this means to me. JBs really are the best. I'm rivers right now. Just a flood of emotion all the sudden which is weird since I didn't cry at all yesterday. I just got back from the doctor's office (I was advised by h/r to make all my medical appointments and checkups right away as benefits end next Thursday) for my physical and have my dental and gynecologist scheduled this week as well. I haven't had a physical for a year and a half so I really need one. I can't afford COBRA so I'm squeezing them all in.

I'm turning 36 in two days this Thursday and while I'm overwhelmed, what you guys are saying is hitting me and I really do want to turn this thing around and make it about new beginnings and opportunities. I've been extremely unhappy in my job after the first few years but always felt I should stay because pay was decent and everyone else around me all agreed. In recent years I started feeing like it was sapping my life energy away though. I lacked the courage to do anything about it. I think this really is life's way of kicking me in the butt to make the changes now. Dawn, your husband's story really resonates with me and is very similar to how I feel. I'll need to take temp jobs and whatever I can find pretty soon but I also want to do research and talk to people and figure out how to get myself onto a career that I truly enjoy and can live with.

I'll definitely be looking up resources and getting all the career guides and resume help I can get. Thank you all so much for reminding me of what I need to do and what I want to do. This JUDDD forum is really something else. I don't think there's any place better online. I come here for weight loss support and end up getting great advice, humor, camaraderie and wonderful support on so much more of my life than just weight loss. The stress is there but I'm feeling anxious and kind of excited to make these changes in my life. Planning to move forward now and I'm not looking back, either weight-wise or career-wise!!!

Love your words, Dear! Glad you are getting your check ups and med tests. That's a great thing to do right now. You need to be healthy for the work ahead.

I am so agreeing with you and Dawn that things happen for a reason. Life shakes us up, we move out of the comfort zone and find it was not all that comforting after all. Right?

Let those tears flow, Sweetie. They can be very healing.

The other day I was playing a CD by Celtic Woman. All of a sudden this beautiful bagpipe music came on with a rendition of "Amazing Grace" and then they began singing the words. My brother, Danny, loved bagpipes and when he passed away last year his wife hired a bagpipe player to stand by the church door and asked him to play "Amazing Grace" as Danny's siblings walked in. Recently another brother passed away suddenly and my dear sister is having serious health issues.

The first strains of the bagpipes on that CD just brought the tears and the sobs flowing. After that I felt drained, but better some how. Tears can be a way of cleaning out the old and making way for the new.

Keep coming here for support because we want to encourage you and keep you well-hugged. K??
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Old 07-03-2012, 12:08 PM   #13
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Congrats on getting to goal!! That is a huge accomplishment! Let the knowledge that you did this HUGE thing carry you through the next big thing to come along--finding a career you love.

You've gotten such great advice, I don't have anything to add. (((hugs)))
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Old 07-03-2012, 12:14 PM   #14
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CONGRATULATIONS! You must be so proud! Sorry to hear about the job situation though.
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Old 07-03-2012, 12:17 PM   #15
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A lot of good thoughts and ideas already. Why am I not surprised?

It's a kick in the teeth when something we've really been striving for and looking forward to finally culminates on a day when the rug gets pulled out from underneath us. So very sorry to hear about you being "restructured" out of your position. I know what that's like and frankly, it bites. Big time.

One thing to keep in mind is that you've demonstrated to yourself that you can execute a plan and follow through with it to completion. You've managed the ups and downs and figured out a way to get to where you want to be. You reached your goal! That's a very worthy accomplishment, and you should feel really, really good about yourself. You also now have the advantage of having more confidence on interviews. You are no longer a "short round meatball". You are a trim, able person!

Your mind going a mile a minute is natural, normal and completely understandable. Those hamster-wheel thoughts will be lessened and more manageable when you make a plan for how you're going to approach finding a new job. We all know you're able to execute a plan, your reaching goal is proof positive of it. Just make sure you know you're able. Having a plan of action helps squash those panicky feelings. Filing for unemployment and updating your resume tell me you're already formulating your plan. Keep planning and then implement it. Tweak that plan as necessary.

Keeping on track with rotations should also be part of your plan. You've mastered this, this IS something you have a good, firm grip on. When big things in our world go kerflooey in our face, it's important to be able to have positive things that are known constants. Your successful way of eating should be one of those things.


Congratulations on reaching your goal and my best to you!
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Old 07-03-2012, 06:32 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post


First and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS on getting to goal! That's an amazing accomplishment. 50 lbs is definitely a lot to lose and YOU did it!!



Now, about the job situation. That sucks. There's no other way to put it. It just does. I'm not sure what your belief system is, but I personally believe everything happens for a reason. Call it fate, or karma, or kismet, or divine intervention--whatever. I think there's a reason your low point happened at the same time you had a great accomplishment. To me it says rebirth, renewal. It makes me think there's something better for you in your future, and you needed to be kicked out of your comfort zone to find it.

DH lost his job over a year ago. To be fair, he started his own business and it was doing well, so he quit his other job. After a few months, his business crashed and burned. He took unemployment and a very low-paying part-time job to help supplement. We agreed at the time that he would look for something he would enjoy and not just take the first opportunity that came his way. The road was long and hard, but he recently took a job he is enjoying and we're back on track.

All this is simply to say, you WILL come out of this stronger and better than before. Get yourself set up with unemployment and keep your eyes and ears open, and something perfect for YOU will come along.

And enjoy maintenance!!!
And congrats on reaching goal
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Old 07-03-2012, 06:38 PM   #17
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Congratulations on reaching goal, V!!!

I just have big on the job situation.

Enjoy your success, my Bud, and I know that with your determination all things will work out in all areas of your life. You!
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Old 07-03-2012, 07:20 PM   #18
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Just think how great you'll look in an interview suit!

Congratulations on making goal! It sounds like the job change may do you good,even though it may not feel like it now. What do you do? Sometimes there is something related, but different enough to be a change.
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Old 07-03-2012, 07:28 PM   #19
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Congratulations on making goal!

So sorry to hear about the job loss - I won't sugar coat it - things aren't necessarily going to be easy! The job market and how people find their jobs has changed too.

I would recommend getting some testimonials from people you work with/for, in addition to the hopefully good referral letter they will give you.

If you are so inclined - set up a personal portal - companies now check you out on line - and a personal portal (aboutme or flavours - can't remember the name) - so you will need a presence. Think about LinkedIn if you haven't joined it already - and even twitter and facebook can help in your job search. Check your Facebook page has the right limitations in place - not saying you have anything wild there - but it's private - and should stay that way.

I have started reading a book on this - I'll find the name and let you have the details.

Good luck - and remember - well done - you can do anything if you've managed to reach goal!
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Old 07-03-2012, 08:57 PM   #20
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Congrats on making goal! So sorry about the restructuring. You got lots of great suggestions but I would also add this - start right away to work your network, let everyone you know know that you are looking while exuding a positive attitude. Be as specific as possible about what you want to find. Many successful job searches are fueled by digital and real life networks. Consider volunteering or getting involved in community activities while you are job searching. It gets you out of the house, meeting new people and gives you a sense of accomplishment PLUS you get a chance to give back. Good luck - we'll be pulling for you!
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Old 07-04-2012, 06:44 AM   #21
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Thank you all so much for the wonderful advice you've given. I'm making a list and taking notes because in this crowded state of mind I'm forgetting so many things and you have given some great suggestions that I want to add to my list of things to do and to work on. I'm a big lists-person because it helps me focus and to see where I am and what else I need to do. Thank you for the book recommendations as well. I'm definitely going to be reading them.

I work in collections and my job involves much cold calling along with some data entry and reporting with spreadsheets. I don't like it much less love it, but am at a loss for what I truly want to do from here on out career-wise. I'm going to look for career guidance, get out to socialize and network more (volunteering sounds great) and will be reading and doing research along with talking to people to help find the right path for me. I'm fully prepared to take temp jobs and lower paying jobs to get me through while continuing to find my path. I'm determined not to get stuck in a rut.

One good thing is that there hasn't been any stress-eating. Actually I've had to force myself to eat both the UD when I first got the bad news and also yesterday's DD. Sometimes when I get really stressed out I lose my appetite. I'm feeling hungry today though so I'm definitely eating. It'll be a DD tomorrow for my birthday which is fine because we're celebrating at my favorite buffet place on Friday's UD.

Hugs to every one of you. You keep me balanced and focused on the positives. Also, JUDDD is strangely easy to do for me right now. I just realized this, but I think it's because it's the one thing I know I'm in complete control over and can work it very well. That in itself surprises me in a good way because I know my horrible history with food and I'm amazed at how JUDDD has changed that.
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:22 AM   #22
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That kind of work can translate into many different types of businesses and industries. If there is something you want to try out, you could apply for a office job and check it out- even if office work isn't ultimately what you want to do. Sometimes companies wil train or pay for education for good employees.

How exciting! (a little scary too I'm sure, but exciting)
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Old 07-04-2012, 11:39 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vilanteira View Post
Thank you all so much for the wonderful advice you've given. I'm making a list and taking notes because in this crowded state of mind I'm forgetting so many things and you have given some great suggestions that I want to add to my list of things to do and to work on. I'm a big lists-person because it helps me focus and to see where I am and what else I need to do. Thank you for the book recommendations as well. I'm definitely going to be reading them.

I work in collections and my job involves much cold calling along with some data entry and reporting with spreadsheets. I don't like it much less love it, but am at a loss for what I truly want to do from here on out career-wise. I'm going to look for career guidance, get out to socialize and network more (volunteering sounds great) and will be reading and doing research along with talking to people to help find the right path for me. I'm fully prepared to take temp jobs and lower paying jobs to get me through while continuing to find my path. I'm determined not to get stuck in a rut.

One good thing is that there hasn't been any stress-eating. Actually I've had to force myself to eat both the UD when I first got the bad news and also yesterday's DD. Sometimes when I get really stressed out I lose my appetite. I'm feeling hungry today though so I'm definitely eating. It'll be a DD tomorrow for my birthday which is fine because we're celebrating at my favorite buffet place on Friday's UD.

Hugs to every one of you. You keep me balanced and focused on the positives. Also, JUDDD is strangely easy to do for me right now. I just realized this, but I think it's because it's the one thing I know I'm in complete control over and can work it very well. That in itself surprises me in a good way because I know my horrible history with food and I'm amazed at how JUDDD has changed that.


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