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Old 06-10-2012, 11:07 AM   #61
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Strongly believe in the power of prayers, and will keep your mom and you in mine
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Old 06-12-2012, 05:10 AM   #62
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Checking in here and bumping this back up to the top of our Forum before heading out for the day. Hope your mother is improving, Linda.
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Old 06-12-2012, 09:23 AM   #63
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Still praying, Linda.
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Old 06-12-2012, 09:29 AM   #64
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Add me to the list of those who believe strongly in prayer. I will add your Mom to my prayer list.
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Old 06-12-2012, 09:41 AM   #65
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Old 06-12-2012, 09:43 AM   #66
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Oh my gosh - praying hard!
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:17 PM   #67
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Old 06-12-2012, 03:31 PM   #68
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Just read this! I am praying hard for your mom, you, and your family.
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Old 06-13-2012, 06:45 PM   #69
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Keeping this bumped for our good thoughts for Linda and her family
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:22 PM   #70
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Hello everyone! Wanted to give you all a great big for your prayers and caring and update you on how things are going.

It's been a VERY hard road, with legal twists and turns and missing paper work because of my Mother who has told me for years that "everything was in order" if something happened to her when in fact has had NOTHING done as it should have been to get her to a place of comfort and caring. I have had to scrabble to get things "in order" and am now waiting to see if it will be assisted living or a nursing home, depending on how she does in rehab over the next couple of week. She had decided she couldn't walk for a while but that is changing now and they can't keep her in bed. The nurses/staff are so afraid she is going to fall that there are alarms on her bed/chair/wheel chair. YET, she still keeps getting up and walking around. My biggest fear is she is going to fall and break something on top of her brain injury.

Her short term memory is very bad to the point that she doesn't even remember eating an hour before, and she goes off in so many different directions during any given conversation that I never know what to expect for one day to the next or one hour to the next. This may improve a little bit but never enough for her to live on her own again, and living with me is NOT an option. Still as mean spirited and abusing to me as ever and this, in itself, makes it very hard to not be resentful and wanting to just walk away but being blessed as an only child I don't have this option either. I tend to agree with her when she is telling me a "story" and I do understand what has happened to her so I just try to be patient. She is in the best rehab/assisted living/nursing home facility in my area so I know she is getting very good care. I also know when the decision to where she will have to go next comes up soon, God and the Universe will have an answer for me.

I'm tired and worn out, but still keeping some positive and normalcy in my life with my business and family. My support system is wonderful at home and on LCFs so I know I'll get through this. Thanks again everyone and I will be back when things are settled to see how everyone is doing and to cheer you all on when I can.

.....Linda

PS...have been maintaining a weight of 139/141 through all this, doing DDs when I can and keeping an eye on UDs but not really doing a good JUDDD WOE at all right now. JUDDD will be there when I'm ready and able to get back to it but in the mean time it's keeping me very close to my goal without even trying and THAT is a wonderful thing!
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:36 PM   #71
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I am so, so very happy that I got a chance to spend quite awhile on the JUDDD Forum this evening and was here to read this report, Linda!!!

I know things with your mom have not always unfolded smoothly.. so I'm glad to hear that you're doing a good job of holding it together right now, keeping your calm and your resolve! And to keep a good body weight at this time too.. through all of this??? Holy Animal Droppings, Batman! I'm proud of you!

Sending you positive thoughts through all of this. I hope your mom can get set up in a nursing home, or possibly the assisted living situation you mentioned, but sooner rather than later. Even in the assisted living places around here, though, I have the idea that the person doesn't have a caregiver there all the time. Just to help them at certain times or with certain needs. Maybe it's going to need to be a nursing home...

But if you have all the paperwork and records, etc. straightened out now, that should help make all of this easier from now on. You at least know better where your mom stands with her finances and the possible resources she might have for the future.

Good luck! Big hugs!!!
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:39 PM   #72
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Still keeping you all in prayer, please take care of you
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:10 PM   #73
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Helping to pray!!
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:26 PM   #74
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Still lifting you and mom in prayer! You are awesome and a very special daughter!
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Old 06-18-2012, 11:24 PM   #75
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I will be praying too! I have been involved closely with the care of my in laws and now just my MIL for some years now (dh is an only child). My heart goes out to you and the burden that you face. It's very tough. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers!
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Old 06-18-2012, 11:53 PM   #76
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Linda....Thank you for taking the time to update us. So sorry for this difficult time in your life. Wish there didn't have to be times like this in our lives. I hope and pray things will soon smoothe out for you, and your mom as well.

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Old 06-19-2012, 05:41 AM   #77
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Linda, you are truly an inspiration, dealing with all you are dealing with, and maintaining as well. You're absolutely right that JUDDD will be here when you're able to come back to us, as will we all. I am sending all my warmest wishes and good, healing thoughts to you and your mom. Having cared for my grandmother the last two years of her life, suffering with severe dementia, I totally "get" what you're going through, and commend you for your patience. I know how hard it is.
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Old 06-19-2012, 05:54 AM   #78
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Linda, : heart::h eart:
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Old 06-19-2012, 05:56 AM   #79
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WOE: JUDDD/PHD, LC now that my BG is getting weird
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Praying for you.
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Old 06-19-2012, 08:38 AM   #80
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I'm so glad you checked in with us!!!
Sorry to hear about your mom still being abusive through all this.
Hoping that the best things happen as soon as possible for you!!!
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Old 06-19-2012, 09:03 AM   #81
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OMG, I am so sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way for a complete recovery for your mom, and strength for you.

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Old 06-19-2012, 10:05 AM   #82
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Old 06-19-2012, 10:13 AM   #83
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Sending you hugs and prayers.
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Old 06-19-2012, 10:33 AM   #84
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You are a wonderful woman and an inspiration. Praying for better days and better health for your Mommy.
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Old 06-19-2012, 06:05 PM   #85
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Old 06-22-2012, 05:32 AM   #86
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Still praying
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Old 06-25-2012, 09:53 AM   #87
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Hi everyone! Just a little update and a BIG to all of you for being the best JUDDD BUDDDs and friends a lady could have!

Mom will not be coming back to her senior apartment. After a meeting on Thursday with Doctor and Staff at the rehab it was determined that she does not have the ability to live alone ever again and she may not even have the ability to do assisted living unless she improves quite a bit in the next month. It seems she has damaged her "sequence" memory which gives us the ability to continue on with a task once we start it; put shoes on and then tie them, put bra on and then move onto a shirt or dress, use soap once in shower, etc. Without this we need prompts to do everyday things we usually do. It doesn't happen all the time with her but enough to warrant her never living alone again. Now I set into motion her staying where she is and moving into long term care.

I have started the process of getting here apartment cleaned out, which is a terrible job because she was a textile hoarder; blankets, sheets, pillows, rugs, towels, etc., many still unwrapped and unused. I'm looking into several places now to donate to. Then it's the many draws of stuff, kitchen wear, furniture, etc. I have a little more than a month to do this and I'm hoping it will be easier than it looks. I also have offers of help, thank goodness!

I'm doing OK, very tired, but still moving forward. Still maintaining my weight of 139/141 which my body seems to like right now. My wonderful JUDDD WOE has been put on the back burner, pretty much, for right now. I'm fine with this and still try to do a DD when I can. Not sweating it though, at all and was thinking if I was doing LC/VLC again I know I would be gaining like crazy, adding more stress to my life, because of my "on the run" food choices right now. As it stands I'm still JUDDDs biggest fan!

Thanks so much for being here and caring. You have NO idea how much it means to me to come here when I can grab a minute, and read your wonderful posts on this thread and also read how everyone is doing. I'm always inspired by you all!

and to everyone!!
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Old 06-25-2012, 09:59 AM   #88
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Beeb: I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom will not get to return to her apartment. It's a big responsibility and lots of work for you to have to clean her place out. There will be memories stumbled upon and tears that will come. I know what you are going through and you will be in my prayers, Sweet Friend.
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Old 06-25-2012, 10:01 AM   #89
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Beeb, thank you for the updates.

I am with you as an only child, which is part of (but not all of) the reason I've been doing eldercare for so many years in other homes and now am doing it in my own.

I want to suggest to you that we only children especially need to listen to the voices of those around us who may be our elder's neices, nephews, cousins or other family, perhaps church or community friends.

If there are voices asking, "Is there anything I can do to help?" don't automatically say, "no, that's alright" and never broach the subject again. Yes, it is the natural reaction, but take a moment and think what you really could use from others and work up the courage to go back to them later and say, "I need..."

God bless you and your mother.
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Old 06-25-2012, 10:12 AM   #90
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I really appreciate these updates, Beeb, because I get worried when I don't see you around!!!

Her accident was the same day as my car crash, and I keep thinking how scary it is that anyone's whole life can can change so drastically in a fraction of a second...

I'm just so sorry this happened.
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