Forever fat?

[sterlinggirl]

Any one else feel at times that no matter how much weight we lose we will always "see" and "feel" fat? I am struggling with this today..I know what my scale says and shows.. and my clothes are very loose.. but... i was hoping to "feel" thin.. Its not that time of the month.. but i am just having a tough time.. weight is comming off but.. i dont feel any lighter. I mean 31 pounds gone and i dont "see" it..
I Keep looking.. and to no avail the mirror shows no progress.. I am having a pitty party today..I have not givin up.. i am just scared that once i reach my goal.. will i ever feel like a thin person?? Thanks for listening.. Some times thats all i need is to just write it out and i feel better..

[KeirasMom]

I have days where I can see my loss and feel it and KNOW it. Then I have days like you're describing, where I just see myself as the same old blob I was when I started. Sadly, I think we may always have a little piece of us that will make us feel that way. I think the trick is to not give in, and maybe tomorrow, that piece will be so far in the back of our minds, that we can see the true us.

[casmira]

It will definitely take time to adjust the mental image of who we are. The months or years to lose the weight probably won't be enough. When you think of the time it took to put it on and the mental bashing you've given yourself over the years, it's not surprising that you need time to readjust to who you're becoming.

[sunday]

Awww, I am not able to find it right now, but someone on one of the other forums recommended a great book about this very thing. Our own body perception is very tough and distorted. Sometimes we battle this even though, we have come so far!

You are doing wonderfully well on JUDDD Kimberly! I think sometimes we have to say it out loud to ourselves when we are dressing, "I have lost 31 lbs!!!" WTG!

[sunday]

I refuse to shop for clothing until I get to the weight I used to be because, unfortunately, I spiral down into this self loathing that you are describing.

[Yam-Yam]

I'm sure so many of us know exactly what you mean. You are not alone! When I was in my 30's I was very, very thin. But I did not know it. I remember our church secretary taking me aside one day for a "talk". She asked me if I was anorexic!!!

I didn't even know what that meant and NO I have never had an eating disorder. But I certainly have a body image disorder. She told me I was too thin. I was wearing size 6 to 8 and back then that was a much smaller size than today's vanity sizing. Still, I worked out like a fanatic, sometimes 4 hours a day and fretted about the numbers on the scale because in my mind "normal" women should weigh no more than 120!!! Back then, no one took body frame or muscle mass into consideration. It was mostly if you are a woman, you need to weigh X amount on the scale.

I spent years feeling bad about myself and feeling so fat.

A few years ago we were looking through picture albums with our kids and everyone was commenting how skinny I was in those pictures!!! I looked at them and thought, "OMGosh!!! I was thin!! Really, really thin!!"" But I never saw it back then.

I almost feel right now like my body image bounces as much as the scale does!! The day I took the pictures of myself in my size 10 jeans (the avatar and also one closer up I posted on my profile) I was feeling so fat!!! I was down on myself and looking in the mirror and thinking "there is no change. It does not make a difference."

Then I remembered my new size 10 jeans and decided to take some pictures of myself to see how bad I would look in the pictures. Because I hate seeing how fat I look in pictures! Anyway, I had to prove to myself that there has to be a difference, because in August I was wearing size 18 and now I'm wearing size 10.

I've given away almost all of my bigger clothes. The other day I found a pair of size 16 dress pants. Decided to try them on and they won't even stay up! I'm swimming in them. They are baggy and huge. So, I told myself there has to be a difference!

DO THAT!! Try on some of your baggy clothes, Girl!!! OK?? Then you have to acknowledge the truth. You have lost over 30 pounds! There is a difference. Even if your body image is messed up and you don't always see it, the truth of the matter is that there IS a difference. I promise!!!

[sterlinggirl]

I am so blessed to have you all to share with.. I will try and find that book your talking about.. i love to read.. And i know i have come so far.. just having a tough mental image day.. no clue why today But i think ill just retire early and start fresh tomorrw! thanks agin girls! i love ya all! And im glad to see im normal

[cuttie99]

Kim I know what you mean. I lost 60 lbs and still feel fat! Remmber you are in a much smaller size now so you are definetly not the same body even if the scales don't want to convince you!!!

[Momto2boysNJ]

add me to the list too. Probably doesn't help that I've been told "well you'll never be skinny"

[sterlinggirl]

Originally Posted by cuttie99

Kim I know what you mean. I lost 60 lbs and still feel fat! Remmber you are in a much smaller size now so you are definetly not the same body even if the scales don't want to convince you!!!

Wow.. 60 pounds and you still feel it? OMG are we ever goin to heal?? Well Congrats to you on that huge loss !!!!

[sterlinggirl]

Originally Posted by Momto2boysNJ

add me to the list too. Probably doesn't help that I've been told "well you'll never be skinny"

This is so sad.. People have no clue what damage they have done to us!!I know that mine is really from my growing up years, i was not really told good things... just like what you were told there and well i belived all that mental garbage.. We must stand together and be strong for each other.. :

[KathyL]

There are days that I feel thin and just as many days that I still feel fat. And I am done losing. I do know when I keep to eating what is healthy for me I tend to have the better days and I feel great. The days when I've been indulging in too much junk, even though it may fit the plan and not show up on the scale, I feel heavier and just dull. You think I would learn.

[vanilla_latte]

I spent the majority of my adolescence/late teens being told I was too heavy and needed to watch it. What I'd give to be that weight again, because I was not too heavy.

I think I sometimes have the reverse feelings - I don't feel as heavy as I am until I see myself in a mirror or in pictures. When I lose weight, even a few pounds, I feel skinny despite being far from it.

My brain is weird.

[lylydvd]

I spent the majority of my adolescence/late teens being told I was too heavy and needed to watch it. What I'd give to be that weight again, because I was not too heavy.

I think I sometimes have the reverse feelings - I don't feel as heavy as I am until I see myself in a mirror or in pictures. When I lose weight, even a few pounds, I feel skinny despite being far from it.

you remind me of myself !

[Becky]

Originally Posted by sterlinggirl

Any one else feel at times that no matter how much weight we lose we will always "see" and "feel" fat? I am struggling with this today..I know what my scale says and shows.. and my clothes are very loose.. but... i was hoping to "feel" thin.. Its not that time of the month.. but i am just having a tough time.. weight is comming off but.. i dont feel any lighter. I mean 31 pounds gone and i dont "see" it..
I Keep looking.. and to no avail the mirror shows no progress.. I am having a pitty party today..I have not givin up.. i am just scared that once i reach my goal.. will i ever feel like a thin person?? Thanks for listening.. Some times thats all i need is to just write it out and i feel better..

Yes, you will feel like a thin person but you have to get used to your new body first. Love yourself no matter what YOU think you look like.

Unfortunatly I'm your complete opposite (my husband says I have reverse anorexia...sufferers of anorexia have a tough time with body image and even if they only weigh 75 lbs they still see themselves as fat), I even at my heaviest (180 on a 5'3" frame) didn't think I looked "that bad", I still saw the skinny lady I had been pre children. It took a couple of pictures to really shake me up and really see the chubbiness that I had packed on since having my 3 kiddos. 35 pounds are gone since I looked at those pictures and I think I look pretty good (though thanks to a stupid question about whether my arms looked fat to my PMSing husband (preMANstrual), I'll probably always think my upper arms are too fat.

[b_lou_who]

I was always so skinny (mocked all through school - gym showers were a nightmare) until in my thirties I developed/diagnosed with endocrine disease and got FAT.
So my image in my head is thin. I'm always SHOCKED by my chance reflection or photos of me fat. I guess I have the reverse problem. I don't feel like I am ME with the extra fat. Getting better every day thanks to IF though. Healing is a beaut, ain't she?

I do have a sizing issue though. I always think I need to buy XL or XXL even though mediums fit just fine now. In the back of my mind that still seems fat because I spent so many years in baggy smalls or xs.

[Luna Loca]

I still think of myself as fat. My mental image is of a fat woman. When I'm out in a restaurant, for example, where there are tables and people seated in chairs at those tables, I still look for the widest gaps and go there, thinking I am too wide to get through the smaller gaps. Even though I'm not that big anymore.

I still get surprised when I sit in a seat and there's ample room.

I am surprised when I see myself in a mirror or a store window, that I am small and "normal" looking.

So I guess all I can offer here, is that, keep going. It WILL come. One day soon, you will look in the mirror expecting to see fat, and not see it! You'll think, "I look pretty GOOD!"

[sterlinggirl]

Its very interesting to read the storys from ya all, and i feel better knowing im not alone with the self image stuggle Thanks girls for sharing with me today !! And keep on keeping on!!

[Kissa]

Originally Posted by sterlinggirl

Any one else feel at times that no matter how much weight we lose we will always "see" and "feel" fat? I am struggling with this today..I know what my scale says and shows.. and my clothes are very loose.. but... i was hoping to "feel" thin.. Its not that time of the month.. but i am just having a tough time.. weight is comming off but.. i dont feel any lighter. I mean 31 pounds gone and i dont "see" it..
I Keep looking.. and to no avail the mirror shows no progress.. I am having a pitty party today..I have not givin up.. i am just scared that once i reach my goal.. will i ever feel like a thin person?? Thanks for listening.. Some times thats all i need is to just write it out and i feel better..

Don't feel bad, you are doing such a wonderful job and we all know that you must be looking great.

Years ago I lost 40 lbs on WW. I was living in the Middle East and sand was everywhere. They presented me with 2 bags of sand weighing 20 lbs each to carry around. Believe me that was such an eye opener for me.

If the bags had been full of lard of course they would have been even bigger.

Just look at the packs of butter on the supermarket shelf and you will realise just what you have accomplished.

It may sound silly, but it works!

[sterlinggirl]

Kissa.. I had a friend here tell me to do that same thing.. to carry it around in the store and see how heavy it was to hang on to. and be glad that you can put it down. What a wonderfull thing we have done for our knees huh?

[Kissa]

You are so right!

[KeirasMom]

I envision mine as one of those huge bags of dog food. I have a heck of a time getting those from my car to the house, and that's the amount of weight I've lost! Holy cow! That always makes me feel better.

[brehede]

Very interesting to hear everyone's experience on this. I was just thinking today that I have a tendency to think I look better than I do, especially if I have been losing......Maybe a survival mechanism based on how pictures actually look sometimes!

Dee

[Yam-Yam]

Originally Posted by KeirasMom

I envision mine as one of those huge bags of dog food. I have a heck of a time getting those from my car to the house, and that's the amount of weight I've lost! Holy cow! That always makes me feel better.

Wow! I used to have a 75 pound dog and we bought those huge 50# bags of dog food. I know exactly what you are talking about!!! I really had to work hard to get that off the shelf at Costco and into my cart!!!

I'm so proud of all you have accomplished and remembering the dog food makes me even prouder!!!

Now I'm going to go look for something that weighs 36 pounds so I can feel good about my accomplishment.

Kissa: When I'm shopping at the store this afternoon I'm going to look at 36 boxes of butter!! People will think I'm nuts staring at the butter!

[vilanteira]

I have had problems with both sides of the issues, and sometimes I don't even know how messed up my self-image is. When I was at my heaviest (somewhere beyond 155+ on my 5'1" small frame), I honestly and truly thought I still looked fine despite having to continuously buy clothes in higher sizes, and made all kinds of excuses for myself that I actually believed. Oh, the clothes just shrank, or I was bloated, or I ate too much that day, or I was too skinny before and now I was just right, etc. I was in serious denial for years. It took some really harsh photos and some comments from tactless people before it really hit me. But from that point on, I only saw myself as fat and even now, as close to goal as I've ever been, I don't feel thin and I frequently see the fat me. It's gotten better at times (and measuring my waistline helps), but I don't really trust my self-image because I feel like I can talk myself into believing anything, even if it's totally off.

[KeirasMom]

Originally Posted by Yam-Yam

Wow! I used to have a 75 pound dog and we bought those huge 50# bags of dog food. I know exactly what you are talking about!!! I really had to work hard to get that off the shelf at Costco and into my cart!!!

I'm so proud of all you have accomplished and remembering the dog food makes me even prouder!!!

Now I'm going to go look for something that weighs 36 pounds so I can feel good about my accomplishment.

Kissa: When I'm shopping at the store this afternoon I'm going to look at 36 boxes of butter!! People will think I'm nuts staring at the butter!

No they won't! They'll see this skinny lady looking at the butter and wonder, hmm, what's her secret? A body like that and she can stand and contemplate butter?!

[arkie1]

I go back and forth on this issue. If I see myself in the mirror fully clothed, I think I can really tell a difference....stomach is coming down, hips look smaller, don't look as "wide" from the front or back view....but if I catch a glimpse naked, I could just cry! I think how could I ever think that I'm getting smaller....stomach still pouching out, hips covered in cellulite, saddle bags huge from the front. I don't think I will ever be satisfied with my body, unless it is covered from head to toe! Of course, I'm working with a 70 year old body, so can't expect a whole lot!

Kimberly, you have done great on your weight loss, and I'm sure others can tell a big difference (even if they don't always comment on it!.

Carole

[Mad4Chillas]

I have a fear that even at my goal weight I will still feel fat, and my thighs will still touch and I will look atrocious in a Bikini. However, I have been diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder which is coupled with a 7 year long battle with an eating disorder.

I just have to keep telling myself everyday that Im beautiful inside and out, and a number on a scale doesnt matter, but thats a work in progress....

I think its harder for ourselves to see what we actually look like because we live in our body everyday, and our perception is desperately skewed. To others we look great and our work shows. I guess each person is their own worst critic

[Beeb]

I also have "FAT EYES"! My cousin coined this phase and says it the eyes we look out of whenever we can't see our progress.

Even at my slim weight I still see myself as "fat" at times! I KNOW I'm no where near fat but try telling those "FAT EYES" when they are looking in the mirror.

Use clothes and how "light" you feel most times to be your guide. What we see is usually NOT what is really there!

AND 31 pounds gone is nothing to sneeze at!!

[Sheridan]

Originally Posted by casmira

It will definitely take time to adjust the mental image of who we are. The months or years to lose the weight probably won't be enough. When you think of the time it took to put it on and the mental bashing you've given yourself over the years, it's not surprising that you need time to readjust to who you're becoming.

^^ This is wisdom.

Originally Posted by b_lou_who

So my image in my head is thin. I'm always SHOCKED by my chance reflection or photos of me fat. I guess I have the reverse problem. I don't feel like I am ME with the extra fat. Getting better every day thanks to IF though. Healing is a beaut, ain't she?

b_lou, I could have written that paragraph.

Originally Posted by Luna Loca

I am surprised when I see myself in a mirror or a store window, that I am small and "normal" looking.

So I guess all I can offer here, is that, keep going. It WILL come. One day soon, you will look in the mirror expecting to see fat, and not see it! You'll think, "I look pretty GOOD!"

^^ Also wisdom!

We are almost always the hardest on ourselves than anyone else. I know I am.