The Maintenance Lane

[Luna Loca]

thank you so much for your good loving kind thoughts and prayers. We're in an interesting process right now, waiting just to see what the next step will be. Feeling anxiety alternating with peace, alternating with confusion, alternating with amazement, alternating with anxiety and back around again.

I'm still kinda restricting too much but it was a down day so it's okay that I only had 370 calories with 230 calories burned hiking. Tomorrow I will try and eat more.

More stressors headed this way, I can't say much because it doesn't involve me directly but it's part of the everything in flux cycle that we seem to be in. Right now I don't know where I'll be living in a few months. Maybe here, maybe this same city, maybe somewhere else entirely. All options are on the table and that's both exhilarating and scary.

Well, I guess it was getting too boring around here. No chance of that now. <---Laughter edged with hysteria.

It's late, I'm headed to bed. Thanks for listening. I love you all so much. Thank you for your friendship.

[Alcestis]

Sending you hugs and healing, only good thoughts, Luna. This too shall pass

[mykidsteacher]

While it's incredibly scary, it might also be an amazing opportunity for some wonderful things happening for the both of you. Try to play the 'glad game' (from Pollyanna), and find one good thing in all that is happening. And lean on each other for support.

If you find you aren't able to put much food in, make an effort to make every bite count, and go for some of those calorie dense options those of us who have trouble getting our calories in use---extra butter or olive oil on veggies, peanut/almond butter right off the spoon, handfuls of nuts on the go, that sort of thing.

Had 'post-event let down' today (a phenomenon we notice of a blah day after a big event). Took a nap, but it wasn't very restful--lots of weird dreams. This week will be spent readjusting to regular life without a rehearsal schedule to work around.

[leonak]

Luna !

I am praying for you and yours!!!

[mykidsteacher]

I think I'm experiencing some 'diet fatigue' even though I'm technically not dieting but in maintenance. I'm taking the week off. No counting, no logging, just instinctive, clean eating. I know that will likely mean I won't reach UD calories most days. So be it. I may still fast till lunch wed and fri (already did that today). But then again, I may just have a lower cal version of my breakfast smoothie (just almond milk and protein powder with no add ins).

Not sure how much I'll check in here either. I've got a busy week with appts and the weather is too pretty to be checking in on the computer much.

But I won't be gone forever. I just need to focus on something other than food, my weight, and such for a little while.

[gotitnow]

Tina.....I understand completely. Do what is best for you but by all means stay around here as often as you are comfortable with. Never got it said either....Congrats on the production! Sounded like a success too. If I am guessing your personality correctly, you would not do anything less than perfectly!

Rest, refresh, enjoy life, then come back full force as soon as possible, OKAY?
Right now we are staying pretty close to home till remodeling is finished, and this is a nice escape for me, but after that, I may follow suit and just de-stress from everything for a while.....Maybe a deserted island!!

Phyl

[saltnpepper]

Hi everyone,

I don't post on JUDDD a lot. BUT I love it here.

Just wanted to send hugs and prayers to Luna. Please keep us in the loop as much as you can. I love to read your post and your your success. You make me smile....a lot.

Hang on girl - as others have said, "God has a bigger plan for you all."

Tina you know you inspired me to even try JUDDD, much less post here!!!

Rest up, but know you will be missed.

Anna

[Joyjoy]

What Anna said, to both Luna and Tina.

[Luna Loca]

Thanks everyone for the prayers and support. I've just gotten back from a camping trip with DH. He wanted to go and it was like, why not? So we just loaded up the car and went. It was a really great time and we're feeling very close and very supportive of each other. We've gotten very clear on the fact that we need to take some time and find the right path, not just snatch at the first job that shows up. So some soul searching is called for, for both of us. This is a really good thing and I believe this is going to turn out to be the catalyst for some major growth. I still don't know and may not know for some time what this means for us--life is just as in limbo as it was before, but at least I'm okay with it.

The next couple of days are taking care of a project here at home (well, at church really) and then we may be off again for a week or more. Not sure yet where we're going, that will be decided in the next day or two. Lots of uncertainty, but there is a deep knowing that all will be well, all will be well, and all manner of things will be well. The rest is just details.

So I'm around for the next couple of days and then we'll see. I'll try not to drop off the face of the earth like I did for the past week or so.

I'm weighing when I can (when I'm at home, no scale on camping trips). Weight has been stable. We skipped our last DD so had three UDs in a row on the camping trip. We'll see what that looks like on the scale tomorrow. Planning a DD tomorrow and then playing it by ear. The good news is that my size 14 jeans I have on today are trying to fall off me, so I'm going to go look for 12s at the thrift store tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Life is good. Uncertain and crazy, but good.

[Kissa]

This is the first post I have read today Luna, and it has made me so happy. I pick up such a wonderful vibe from you. We never know what life has in store for us, but for you and DH I feel it has some very good things in store. Lovely to see you back and feeling so much more positive. Sending hugs.

[KeirasMom]

Luna, I'm happy you're getting some peace. I haven't shared DH's story here, but I feel it's relevant to your current situation so I will.

A couple of years ago, DH was working for a national investigation firm. He was a regional manager and was pretty high up in the company, making good money, but wasn't happy. He started his own P.I. firm and was doing very well with that, to the point where working both jobs got to be too much. We did some soul searching and decided to take the leap of faith and he quit his job with the firm and concentrated on his own business.

I won't go into a ton of detail, but basically his business tanked. We basically lost his whole income. We had a big, beautiful home, which we ended up having to sell. We had a little equity, so we were able to buy a much smaller, older home, but we paid cash, so we don't have a payment. This home is in another city as well, so our entire lives got completely turned around. It was a hard adjustment, but we did it. We made it work.

I found a good job where we are now, making "okay" money, but I'm happy. It's a wonderful environment. DH ended up having to get a job as lead security at a bar. For the last year, he's been making very little, working nights, getting only sporadic work with his P.I. firm. He's wanted to take other opportunities which came his way, and each time, we weighed whether or not he was going to like the environment or the job. I have found it's much better to be poor and happy, than have extra money but hate your job.

To conclude this novel I'm writing: DH got a new job. He started this week. He's now the safety manager for the irrigation district here. He (so far) likes the work, likes the environment, and is HAPPY again. The money's not what he was making with the national firm, but it's decent, and we're going to be fine. This past year has been stressful and difficult, but also very rewarding. It worked out.

Things always have a way of working out. I wish only the best for you and your DH. More than that, I have FAITH things will happen for you the way they are meant to. You are an incredibly strong woman and you and DH are going to come out of this even stronger.

[mykidsteacher]

Luna, so happy to read you and dh have been able to talk and support each other in this stressful time. Sounds like you are both in a good place with this, and I know things will be ok.

My 'break' is going well. Maintaining, without having to stress over counting everything. I add it all up at the end of the day, just to see where I ended up, but don't really think about it beforehand. If I feel like skipping breakfast, I do. If not, I eat. This has resulted in 2 IF days in the past 5. So far, it's ending up a pretty natural calorie-cycling or zig zag pattern. Yesterday was on the level of an UD, the others have been somewhere in between. I may continue like this for awhile and see how it goes.

[Kissa]

Why not Tina if it suits you? My only concern would be 'emptying' our reserves of Sirt1. They come in handy when we have holidays or 4 day holiday weekends like the one I just ate through, lol.

Dawn, I love you post, you are so right. Happiness is so precious. I know Luna will take inspiration from all you said.

DD1 and her DH are with us tonight before having a week's break in a 'holiday camp' nearby. I fear the weather isn't going to great for them. I am sure they will enjoy themselves but sometimes I despair of our English weather.

[Luna Loca]

Dawn, thank you for sharing your journey! It's good to know that others have had these challenges and come through them doing well and being happy! I am feeling so little stress about this right now, so little that I'm a bit worried that it's going to hit like a baseball bat at some point. But so many signs have pointed out that this is the right path, and when you're on the right path, you don't question, you don't stress, you just walk the path.

Kissa, Tina, everyone, your support means so much. I'm up 1.8 pounds this morning, which is no biggie and I know will be gone again in one or two DDs. DH was up only .7 pounds. Men.

It's looking like we are staying close to home for the next couple of weeks, doing some cleaning and clearing of physical and emotional energy and readying ourselves for the next stage.

After that? Who knows? Backpacking around Europe? Camping on the beach in Oregon? Getting a new job and staying right here? Unknown. That's okay.

Down day today. Lots of coffee.

[saltnpepper]

Wow, thanks for sharing Dawn and Luna.

Your both very strong, and inspirational to all of us. Life is so uncertain........



Thanks for letting me hang out here, just "bouncing" around on the scale, but it's all good. (a little bouce)

Anna

[saltnpepper]

I want to add:

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living


How true!!

[Joyjoy]

Hey Luna, there's something golden about a time like this. It sounds as though you're appreciating that. It makes me happy for you both.
Last year my lovely man found out he had a tumor in his right eye. I had just left for Asia for three months, ended flying home after three days (!) We found out it was malignant and had to be removed. It was the craziest time. But you know what? It's like everything got really, really clear. Not the details, or the future, but our values, and what really mattered got clear. We had the best winter ever. (He laughs when I say that, and says maybe it was a bit better for me than for him.) These kinds of stories look scary from outside, but when you're in them, after the first scary bit, you just live it, and you love each other, and you go where you go. I wouldn't trade our story for anything.
Anyway, you sound wise and resilient and awake, and that's a pretty great place to be when life throws a tantrum your way.
All the best. You're in our hearts.

[Kissa]

Originally Posted by saltnpepper

I want to add:

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living


How true!!

That, I love!

Originally Posted by Joyjoy

Hey Luna, there's something golden about a time like this. It sounds as though you're appreciating that. It makes me happy for you both.
Last year my lovely man found out he had a tumor in his right eye. I had just left for Asia for three months, ended flying home after three days (!) We found out it was malignant and had to be removed. It was the craziest time. But you know what? It's like everything got really, really clear. Not the details, or the future, but our values, and what really mattered got clear. We had the best winter ever. (He laughs when I say that, and says maybe it was a bit better for me than for him.) These kinds of stories look scary from outside, but when you're in them, after the first scary bit, you just live it, and you love each other, and you go where you go. I wouldn't trade our story for anything.
Anyway, you sound wise and resilient and awake, and that's a pretty great place to be when life throws a tantrum your way.
All the best. You're in our hearts.

You women are just humbling! I am honoured to 'know' you.

[mykidsteacher]

Love all these words of encouragement.

Kissa, I am hoping my 2 'fasting till lunch dd's' a week will keep the enzymes flowing for me. If I feel I'm losing that, I'll re-evaluate.

[Kissa]

You'll be fine, because you are aware!

[Luna Loca]

Originally Posted by saltnpepper

I want to add:

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living


How true!!

I like that. Thanks for posting it.

Originally Posted by Joyjoy

Hey Luna, there's something golden about a time like this. It sounds as though you're appreciating that. It makes me happy for you both.
Last year my lovely man found out he had a tumor in his right eye. I had just left for Asia for three months, ended flying home after three days (!) We found out it was malignant and had to be removed. It was the craziest time. But you know what? It's like everything got really, really clear. Not the details, or the future, but our values, and what really mattered got clear. We had the best winter ever. (He laughs when I say that, and says maybe it was a bit better for me than for him.) These kinds of stories look scary from outside, but when you're in them, after the first scary bit, you just live it, and you love each other, and you go where you go. I wouldn't trade our story for anything.
Anyway, you sound wise and resilient and awake, and that's a pretty great place to be when life throws a tantrum your way.
All the best. You're in our hearts.

I just love you, do you know that? You are so heart-centered and always seem to know just what to say.

Originally Posted by Kissa

That, I love!



You women are just humbling! I am honoured to 'know' you.

I know, right? Amazing amazing amazing.

Tina, glad you're finding the right eating plan for you right now. It's good to take a break and regroup. Hoping your day is going well

[sophiethecat]

Glad for the update, Luna, and that you're finding peace.

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."
~ Julian of Norwich

[IThinkICan]

Luna - I had a poster that got me through some really tough times... It stated: "I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future." I hope you can find peace.

Dawn - Thanks for sharing your story. It's wonderful to read about people overcoming hard times and learning to be thankful for new (however different) opportunities.

My husband and I were living comfortably for a while until we saw vicious cycles of job loss after job loss, mostly due to the economy (newest hires usually get let go first, which happened to us repeatedly). Hubby's last job he quit because of insane mismanagement. He started his own company... and now his job is to save small businesses money and stress! It's so much more fulfilling, and he no longer has to answer to a micromanaging or deceitful boss! And I get to be a homeschooling mom, plus I just got the opportunity to begin a path in the travel industry. We may not live as financially comfortable as we once did, but the ability to enjoy life, helping others, and spending time as a family is more than worth the money!

On the maintaining front, thank you, JUDDD! I put my metabolism and carb tolerance to the test this week and stayed at 145-point-something on the scale! Wednesday's UD I went to someone's house and ate Tex-Mex, including rice and cornbread and chocolate mousse for dessert, eating right up to my 1800 cal max, perhaps a little over. DD Thurs (normal, 700 cal). UD Friday in Disney... ate the bottomless skillet at Wilderness Lodge, including several helpings of BBQ ribs, sausage, chicken, corn in the cob, and cornbread... plus shared a S'more brownie in Epcot, plus Olive Garden's apricot chicken with salad and a buttered breadstick late at night for dinner (at least 2100 cal, 300 over budget). Sat DD (normal, 700 cal). Sun UD out with family - bacon cheeseburger and salad for lunch, plus 2 pieces of chicken quesadilla... Then Outback for dinner with some bloomin onion, steak, crab cakes, broccoli, buttered bread, and shared dessert trio (brownie sundae, carrot cake, AND cheesecake). I ate at least 2600 cal yesterday, 800 over budget... and my scale remained within a few tenths of a pound the whole time! I don't remember the last time my metabolism worked this well!

[Kissa]

It is a little miracle isn't it?

[mykidsteacher]

I think I'm ready to get back to rotations. Not sure if it's TOM approaching or my haphazard eating, but I've been a snacking beast the past few days--just out of control cravings for salty snacks--and I've been diving into the forbidden allergy foods way too much too (mainly wheat crackers and potato chips).

I feel so bloated and gross right now. I'm going to try a DD tomorrow, but I'm going to have a protein shake for breakfast (I had to skip breakfast today due to bloodwork and did yesterday as well, and just don't know if I want to do it 3 days in a row), and maybe another for lunch, then something a little substantial around 3:30ish, to hold me till dinner. We eat late in the summer, around 8pm, so it's a LONG time from lunch to supper.

We'll see how it goes.

[IThinkICan]

Originally Posted by Kissa

It is a little miracle isn't it?

TOTALLY! I feel like I'm in someone else's body because my body isn't supposed to do this!


Tina - Welcome back to the rotation. Sometimes a little structure is nice. Loose structure.

I've been rotating just fine, but I do feel like I need to get back into some home cooking! I hardly ate today and actually got Domino's pizza for dinner. I only had a slice, which is good because it's a DD, but I really need to just eat some healthy stuff before I go down a slippery slope! I actually just read some blog of someone who experimented with overeating for a chunk of time (a few weeks), but they insisted on eating only healthy foods for their experiment (produce, meats, nuts, legumes, etc.) The person ate 3000 cal/day instead of their normal 2000 cal/day maintenance level, didn't change their exercise routine at all, and ended up losing about a 1/2 lb when it was all over. I suspect that even if I don't lose weight, my overall health and well-being over the long-term is better off if I shape up my food intake a bit... I'm just letting the last week go as if I were just enjoying a mini vacation.

[mykidsteacher]

IthinkIcan, sometimes those mini vacations are good for your mental health. Mine was. I NEEDED the time away from thinking about everything, logging, planning, etc. A week was plenty. I did fine at first, but after about day 4, one treat just led to another, and another.

I'm sure TOM contributed to most of that---isn't here yet, but will be by tomorrow. So maybe it wasn't the best time to try my little experiment. LOL

Going well so far. My protein shake held me till now, and it's lunchtime. I need to go out to the garden and cut some lettuce. Decided on a salad with salsa dressing instead of another shake. Planning some broth with 1 oz of shrimp mid afternoon, and meatloaf and veggies for supper.

[Luna Loca]

IthinkIcan, wow, what a mini vacation you had! I'm drooling just reading what you enjoyed! Glad you enjoyed the food and it didn't affect your scale.

Tina, I understand about the not logging leading to bad things. I use *** on my phone but where we were camping had no access to cell network and so I couldn't log (well, other than on paper, but I didn't do that). My first up day was pretty controlled, second was a little higher, third was up up and away. I suspect I will need to log forever. That doesn't mean anyone else will, but I have had such a disordered relationship with food (I didn't get to 300 pounds eating anywhere close to sensibly) that I feel like I must remain vigilant or I'm afraid I'll go back there.

I am back down to pre-camping trip weight, after an up day. Nice, I'll take it. Down day today. Down days remain easy for me at 700, I'm so pleased about that. Hoping to drop a few more pounds by my birthday in three weeks, I'd like to be out of the obese category by then, which is 168 for me.

But it's not so urgent to lose that I'm willing to drop back down to low low DDs to get there by that time. I remain in the maintenance mindset (although willing to welcome any weight loss that occurs ).

[Kissa]

I love that attitude Luna, it is certainly not urgent. It will happen because we are happy to repeat our rotations and await the results.

Interesting how happy you are to come back to your DD Tina. That is precisely how I felt after the Jubilee Weekend. The DDs are so welcome I find. They are cleansing I believe, both physically and mentally.

I just love JUDDD.

[gotitnow]

Tina...meant to say...I hope your blood work came out good!

Phyl