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Old 01-24-2012, 09:15 AM   #1
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Any former disordered eaters on here? Ana, bulemic, what-have-you?

So I've snuck on this forum for a little support during our family vacation, and wondered if anyone else is in the same position I'm in...

I was borderline anorexic for years (at my lowest I was 125 or so - not too dangerous, but not good for someone who's 5'10"), until I realized what I was doing to myself about 3.5 years ago. I MADE myself eat to excess, told myself I was always going to feel fat at a healthy weight so I might as well get used to it....and actually wound up being genuinely overweight! I understand that's not uncommon for former anas, especially if we forgo professional treatment and try to recover on our own. Every time I'd try to lose the extra weight, I'd freak out, worrying that I'd slide back into the old patterns, and wind up with a little more weight.

But now, I know I'm not going to starve myself again. I trust myself. I must say that I'm really enjoying JUDDD as a safe way to get some of the more positive aspects of IF (which, to be honest, I've missed) without having to worry that I'll take it too far. Does anyone else feel that way? It's an amazing feeling of self-trust, and I'm liking it!!

Plus, in the past 3.5 years, I've learned how truly awesome it is to eat until you're FULL. And I still get to!
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:05 AM   #2
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You are not alone here. Many, many of us were simply overeaters for our own body's needs, and that's why we're here, but there are folks here who have struggled with eating disorders too, so you will have understanding from them in that area, and support from us all!

I think one of the really important things to always keep in mind is that you don't have to be perfect to make it work, and if you're not too far off, too often, you'll even lose weight. But even more important than this is that JUDDD can help heal you and normalize your relationship to food a very great deal, and that is a gift beyond measure.

Stay with us and stick with JUDDD and I hope you will experience a new calm appreciation for how you deal with food and eating issues. Good luck!
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:41 AM   #3
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I'm sorry, but it's my understanding that anyone with an ED history is instructed (by professionals) to avoid restrictive eating plans like JUDDD.

In the more than 3 years that I've been doing JUDDD, I've seen that many people who thought their ED was in the past found it erupt when they tried to do this.

Everyone is unique, but I feel obligated to express a caution based on what I know and what I've seen.
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Old 01-24-2012, 11:09 AM   #4
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Pat, thank you! Calm seems to be the word :-)

Leo, I'm so sorry to hear that. For me, it's the exact opposite. I guess everyone is different - for me, trying to be "moderate" is MUCH more likely to trigger my past, as I mentioned. Up Days keep me eating. As I said, the cool this is that I really CAN trust myself. Promise!
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Old 01-24-2012, 11:17 AM   #5
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This WOE can be a trigger, but for a few, it seems to have a normalizing effect on their relationship with food. I think, as long as you pay attention to you, and know the signs of becoming disordered again, only you can decide if it's the right fit.

I'm 5'10" and was 106 at my lowest, when I was 18. I simply had a VERY fast metabolism and I had a doctor advise me to overeat every meal and supplement between meals with more calories. The rat made me fat. At least that's my contention.
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Old 01-24-2012, 11:26 AM   #6
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I think anything that makes us block out what our body's saying is going to cause problems. When I was undereating, or trying to do a "normal" diet, I blocked the hunger. When I was overeating, I blocked the "that's enough" feeling (and I have some health issues to show for that now). But eating plentifully one day and then giving my system a break the next feels incredibly good ^_^ It's what I did naturally before all this nonsense got started.
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Old 01-24-2012, 11:28 AM   #7
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PS. While I agree the doc didn't do you favors in the long run, 106!!! Goodness, my dear! I honestly can't imagine. Even though I have a small build for our :-) height, I just can't picture being functional. But everyone's different!
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:02 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TallToriV View Post
PS. While I agree the doc didn't do you favors in the long run, 106!!! Goodness, my dear! I honestly can't imagine. Even though I have a small build for our :-) height, I just can't picture being functional. But everyone's different!
106 wasn't pretty. The funny thing was though that I was eating burgers and fries and pizza and blah blah blah. All the teenager foods. I just couldn't gain! I wouldn't mind having that problem again!
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:47 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post
106 wasn't pretty. The funny thing was though that I was eating burgers and fries and pizza and blah blah blah. All the teenager foods. I just couldn't gain! I wouldn't mind having that problem again!
I had the same "problem". I was 112 pounds on my wedding day at the age of 27 and 5' 6" and that was "overweight" for me compared to what I weighed in high school. My senior year my highest weight was 109. I did NOT have an ED of any kind and ate more food in one day than most people eat in 2 days. My metabolism was on super high and stayed that way until my early 40s, then I has weight issues because I continued to eat as I did the first 40 years of my life, but now my metabolism had slowed way down and it was just a pretty sight!

JUDDD actually helped to get the metabolism kick started again, and now I can pretty much get what I want on UDs as long as I stick to the DDs to a tee.

Sorry for the thread jump here, OP. Lots of folks here have found JUDDD helps with their EDs and I'm sure you will find their advice and experience helpful.
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:54 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo41 View Post
I'm sorry, but it's my understanding that anyone with an ED history is instructed (by professionals) to avoid restrictive eating plans like JUDDD.

In the more than 3 years that I've been doing JUDDD, I've seen that many people who thought their ED was in the past found it erupt when they tried to do this.

Everyone is unique, but I feel obligated to express a caution based on what I know and what I've seen.
This is why JUDDD made a miserable wreck out of me for a week. My trainer said this plan was definitely not for me.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:29 AM   #11
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yes. I just came off a ana stint and still dealing with bulimia. JUDDD is actually helping because I do eat every other day, regular diet plans the suggest 3 meals a day just push me into another ana cycle. I'm hoping for recovery if I can stick with it long enough.
SO you're ot alone and you should be SO proud of yourself for recovery coming from somebody with a similar disorder I know it's one of the most difficult things to overcome!
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:35 AM   #12
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Haha, HotMommy, that's awesome! I had a feeling. I was just reading your post about yesterday and what you went through sounded SO FREAKIN' FAMILIAR!! You better be around when I get down towards target and start thinking maaayyyybe losing still more weight would be a good thing. Cuz it's not. *nudge*
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:56 AM   #13
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I had a verry bad habit of eating when on the computer, watching TV or reading
a good book. Especialy when a good book was involved a 1/2 galon of ice cream
would last me only about 15 minutes well not the whole thing I usualy left about
1 cup for later. And this later was a couple of hours later where I would wolf down
another 2,000 calories in about 15 minutes. A little over 4 months ago I started
confining all my eating to siting at a table with no computer, TV or book involved.
This has helped me a great deal and after the first month I started on the JUDDD
WOE and have lost about 40 lbs. Sometimes I still crave to curl up with a good book
and that 1/2 gal. of ice cream but it's realy not a big deal not to give into that now.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:59 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E.W. View Post
I had a verry bad habit of eating when on the computer, watching TV or reading
a good book. Especialy when a good book was involved a 1/2 galon of ice cream
would last me only about 15 minutes well not the whole thing I usualy left about
1 cup for later. And this later was a couple of hours later where I would wolf down
another 2,000 calories in about 15 minutes. A little over 4 months ago I started
confining all my eating to siting at a table with no computer, TV or book involved.
This has helped me a great deal and after the first month I started on the JUDDD
WOE and have lost about 40 lbs. Sometimes I still crave to curl up with a good book
and that 1/2 gal. of ice cream but it's realy not a big deal not to give into that now.
That is awesome

I have been guilty of mindless eating as well...
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:04 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TallToriV View Post
Haha, HotMommy, that's awesome! I had a feeling. I was just reading your post about yesterday and what you went through sounded SO FREAKIN' FAMILIAR!! You better be around when I get down towards target and start thinking maaayyyybe losing still more weight would be a good thing. Cuz it's not. *nudge*
I just admitted it on that thread. Funny how you think nobody notices then you come to the realization just about everyone has their suspensions.
I'll be around! These forums actually inspire me to be healthier not the other way around
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:35 AM   #16
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I know, right? For me, it's invaluable to have a place where you can say, "Here's what I'm thinking" and have someone else say "ummmmmmm....yea, that doesn't sound quite right!" lol!

I dunno. It's like there's two schools of thought on ED - in one, you have it, then you get treatment, then you're better. If you're not underweight, that's how you know you're better. The other is that you ALWAYS have it and you're DOOOOOMED! ;-)

Neither have been true for me. I had it, I ate myself silly and gained a ton of weight, still had it. Got treatment, still had it. Took things one day at a time for a couple of years, and now...oddly....I'm so much better! I honestly look forward to each day. On DDs, I'm pleasantly empty and have at least 3 things that I can't wait to eat the next day. On UDs, I've had a blast and am a little queasy and can't wait to take it easy the next day. It really can be that easy once you practice acceptance for a while!
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Old 02-01-2012, 04:03 PM   #17
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Hello. I'm a little late to the party!

I definitely have "disorderd" eating patterns. I can't remember a time that I haven't been obsessed with food in one way or another - either depriving myself of it, counting the calories, or gorging. I have an emotional attachment to food that is almost paralyzing at times. It feeds me, it makes me feel safe, it makes me feel loved, but at the same time it makes me feel disgusting and out of control.

I always say I'm lucky because I haven't gained as much as I should have considering the way I eat. (Even though I've ruined my metabolism by being how I am - have to take thyroid meds). I used to have a fast metabolism (although have struggled with weight since 13) and could eat dessert everyday and still lose weight. I'm angry that I can't do that anymore, and so I rebel and I eat more. Then I diet and starve and lose weight. Then I get hungry and binge for weeks. It's a terrible cycle and I am just beginning my journey to break free.

Oh, and I've also had problems on BCPs and wish to give them up. I had the worst issues on Yaz or Yasmin or whatever it was - that pill made me crazy! I used to have PMS a little, but that gave me full blown PMDD (which is what it is supposed to treat!). I'm on a much lower dose now and am doing much better.
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Old 02-01-2012, 04:56 PM   #18
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Welcome welcome! Glad to have you, and and I hope you experience the same healing a lot of post-ED folks have with JUDDD. It seems to do our broken metabolisms a world of good!

I can't say enough about getting off hormonal birth control; I really, really can't. At least now that you've been through the symptoms and are doing better, you know what to keep an eye out for. I'm thrilled to just be off them.
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Old 02-01-2012, 05:19 PM   #19
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Boy do I understand where you guys are coming from. I have every form of ED there is. I feel like it's being an alcoholic. I will always have it and its always there just under the surface. I can control it at times but it's always right there ready to peer it's ugly head out of I don't keep it in check. Juddd is totally helping me to do that. I feel so much more in control. I don't feel like I have to deprive myself of anything for once but I also get that light empty feeling that I like also.
I went from being a binger when I was overweight for years to totally going the other direction and binging and purging and restricting. It's been a vicious cycle that I have fought for years. There have been times I have gone for months without an episode but it says seems to come back and I think a lot of that has been the deprivation of eating low carb. I know there are emotional things too but the deprivation is a trigger. I actually feel like I can live with this forever because I don't have to be deprived anymore. I feel free for once. I will always have to watch myself for signs of my ED coming back but I think this woe is really going to help me control it.
Im so glad there are some of us experiencing the same thing with juddd.
I think juddd can be a trigger for some of the are in the midst of a relapse but for those of us who really want to get better I think this can work for us and really help us.
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Old 02-01-2012, 05:43 PM   #20
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I was a closet bulimic/binge eater and still might be. When it was mentioned that dieting is not for people with EDs, it was no lie especially for people in my shoes. When I went/go into my scary moments I became somebody I didn't really know. It's like I'm watching with my mouth hanging open in pure shock at how much this person was eating, while at the same time knowing that person is me and that I don't care. Once I had it in my head that anything I ate was only in there temporarily, I'd eat anything/everything until it hurt so bad.

On LC I got a little better because there was such a wide range of foods that I could eat and still be on a diet and lose weight, so my binge moments didn't happen as often and usually only happened when I talked myself into cheating on the diet "just a little.
I usually felt so ashamed of myself for breaking my diet that I'd eat some more, becoming something of a robot.

You may notice that I've gone back and forth from present tense to past tense, and that’s because I don't think that's me anymore, but it’s too soon to tell. When I started JUDDD I had my days where I binged, I just wasn't mentally prepared to eat the foods I ate and be ok with it. Now when the thought crosses my mind I talk myself out of it - something I've *never* been able to do before.

Last night I ate so much I couldn't move, but I stayed right where I was and dealt with the pain - ugh I had a WHOLE PIZZA! lol. I've been able to talk my bulimic/binge eating self off the ledge since the end of the first week. I think this is the main reason why I'm in love with this diet. Not only has it changed my appetite, but so far it’s the only diet I have found where it just fits.

It's like going window shopping. You know you want those amazing boots, but if you could just hold off until payday tomorrow you won’t go negative at the bank. Well by the time tomorrow comes along, chances are the impulse you had for those boots is gone.

So anyway, could JUDDD be a trigger? Maybe, but not for me.
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Old 02-02-2012, 01:34 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn1225 View Post
I was a closet bulimic/binge eater and still might be. When it was mentioned that dieting is not for people with EDs, it was no lie especially for people in my shoes. When I went/go into my scary moments I became somebody I didn't really know. It's like I'm watching with my mouth hanging open in pure shock at how much this person was eating, while at the same time knowing that person is me and that I don't care. Once I had it in my head that anything I ate was only in there temporarily, I'd eat anything/everything until it hurt so bad.

On LC I got a little better because there was such a wide range of foods that I could eat and still be on a diet and lose weight, so my binge moments didn't happen as often and usually only happened when I talked myself into cheating on the diet "just a little.
I usually felt so ashamed of myself for breaking my diet that I'd eat some more, becoming something of a robot.

You may notice that I've gone back and forth from present tense to past tense, and that’s because I don't think that's me anymore, but it’s too soon to tell. When I started JUDDD I had my days where I binged, I just wasn't mentally prepared to eat the foods I ate and be ok with it. Now when the thought crosses my mind I talk myself out of it - something I've *never* been able to do before.

Last night I ate so much I couldn't move, but I stayed right where I was and dealt with the pain - ugh I had a WHOLE PIZZA! lol. I've been able to talk my bulimic/binge eating self off the ledge since the end of the first week. I think this is the main reason why I'm in love with this diet. Not only has it changed my appetite, but so far it’s the only diet I have found where it just fits.

It's like going window shopping. You know you want those amazing boots, but if you could just hold off until payday tomorrow you won’t go negative at the bank. Well by the time tomorrow comes along, chances are the impulse you had for those boots is gone.

So anyway, could JUDDD be a trigger? Maybe, but not for me.


I could have written this, it is so me. Juddd helping you "talk yourself off the ledge" is a brilliant way of describing it! I too have sat, so full I hurt and was able to talk myself into not purging cos tomorrow was a dd.

Thankyou for sharing!

Hugs

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Old 02-02-2012, 08:42 AM   #22
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When it comes to conquering ED, it's whatever works. Many have found LC to be successful because it diminishes the blood sugar/mood swings caused by alternating btw starving and filling w carbs.

When peop say to get therapy first and deal w the cause, I disagree; one does not think clearly when food/blood sugar swings are at the forefront.

Knowing your history, just be aware.
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