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Old 01-14-2012, 04:32 PM   #1
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i wasn't prepared for this....:(

so i went out with friends tonight for dinner and they know i've been lowcarb and vlc for over the past couple of years....so as i ordered a calzone the husband was like WOW that's a splurge so it's a cheat day huh....and my roomate who knows what i've been up to with JUDDD says before i can speak nope its her UP day, and so the saga begins of this new 'fad' diet i'm on like i'm some science experiment and when i go into explaining my friend exclaims with extreme disgust on her face how unhealthy this sounds and how i'm doing such harm to my body and how only 250 calories - 500 calories a day is nonsense and obviously how if i only ate the 1100 that my UD/DD averages out to be that it would be way better it's calories in vs calories out....WOW i had no idea how to respond or defend or do anything but sit there and listen to her bash my new fangled WOE and if i really cared or wanted to lose weight i'd just eat healthier....BAH and all this on a day where i've eaten way too much already....and after the day i had yesterday i just want to curl into a ball and cry....the only way i know how to prove this works is to lose the weight ....i HAVE to lose the weight...i just have to....i'm spiraling here and i don't know how to stop....
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:40 PM   #2
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Oh, honey, First, you know what you're doing isn't unhealthy and you know it works. You're going to have an awesome down day tomorrow and erase all of today's sins. I am sorry beyond words that you had to endure such a hateful speech by your "friend", and hope you don't get offended if I'm offended for you. Your roommate was out of line, that husband was out of line, and so was his wife. Everyone was out of line. I wish you had had the presence of mind to shut her down and put her in her place before you got a chance to hurt you. You should find a few key phrases you can think of to just shut people like that down before they get started, in case this ever happens again.
You're going to be fine, and you should let your roomie know that was not ok what she did, it was not her place. This is why a lot of people don't discuss their WOEs with others. Heck, I didn't even tell my husband what I was up to until recently!
Anyway, nevermind them,
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:53 PM   #3
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I would just smile and say thank you for your opinion, I'll send you some links if you want to read up on it but I don't want to debate this right now. Then change the subject.
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Old 01-14-2012, 04:58 PM   #4
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thanks i do know that my woe is ok for me, i know that in my heart but it just really stung....and i haven't gotten back to the 175 that i was before i went to italy in september and i do LOVE how i feel with JUDDD, the support here is amazing and i'm thankful that you wrote what you did....hugs....i'm just gonna watch me some football and sip on some hot tea and chillax....thanks again
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:18 PM   #5
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You are doing what works for YOU! When someone asks about my WOE I say I diet every other day by lowering my calories on that day and the next day I eat as I want. They seems to like the "every other day" part and ask more at which time I DON'T explain but give them this site, our JUDDD forum and the JUDDD site and tell them to go "explore" THEN I change the subject!

Works must better than having to hear the junk I use to hear about "OH MY, eating that few calories is NOT good for you" when in reality these people have never heard of JUDDD or calorie restriction and knew NOTHING about it!
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:27 PM   #6
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its just been a rough week and i had figured out how to answer ???s about atkins, but i never gave answering ???s about JUDDD a thought....until know....thanks beebalicious i will consider that phrasing if i ever encounter another assault....thanks you guys!!! it was an awkward situation and if it hadn't been for the football game on i don't believe there would've been conversation at all....
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:27 PM   #7
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Quote:
i'm on like i'm some science experiment and when i go into explaining my friend exclaims with extreme disgust on her face
You call this a friend? You are very generous!

I always put diet in the same category as religion and politics....it's a topic not to be discussed *unless* someone really acts as though they want to learn.

Just remember: you are not the one who stepped out of line, and nobody gets to decide what you eat, but you.

Hope you get to feeling better soon. I know it's discouraging to be stepped all over like that!
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:54 PM   #8
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The Curious Case Of Caloric Restriction | Science & Technology | Chemical & Engineering News


http://http://www.scientificpsychic..../crondiet.html



This is just some interesting reading, but might give you a little ammunition.

Fasting has been done by humans for a pretty long time, you know. Over all areas of the world and all times, people have fasted for religious and political reasons, and certainly for physical and mental health reasons. Many illnesses and great injuries we, and even animals, experience result in no appetite and a fasting response, sometimes for many days, devoting all the energies of the body to protecting and healing.

There is absolutely nothing dangerous with eating few calories every other day, when combined with eating a full compliment of calories on the opposing days. The fasting day heals and cleans our bodies, and the feasting days nourish us and feed our souls too.

Anyone who mistakes this way of eating with anorexia is very uneducated about both subjects, and anyone who believes that this plan is unhealthy simply knows little or nothing about the health benefits of fasting, the calorie restriction studies, the length-of-life studies, etc...

I guess perhaps we can't blame them for being uneducated about all of this, but they didn't have to be so rude in their responses.

Of course, don't mind them, continue with JUDDD and do a FANTASTIC job of it. You will very soon be slimming down so much they will notice, and the aura of health surrounding you will probably be noticeable from across the room.

And it won't be too long before you'll be at maintenance weight and having more calories to enjoy in your plan besides! Smart you and silly them!
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:55 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayleesa View Post
the only way i know how to prove this works is to lose the weight ....i HAVE to lose the weight...i just have to....i'm spiraling here and i don't know how to stop....
Don't spiral and don't cry. BE MAD AS HELL! How dare anyone tell you if your WOE is right or wrong. It's one thing for people that really care about you to show concern, it's quite another what your "so called" friend did. Use this to your advantage!

YOU GOT THIS!
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:19 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gharkness View Post
You call this a friend? You are very generous!

I always put diet in the same category as religion and politics....it's a topic not to be discussed *unless* someone really acts as though they want to learn.

Just remember: you are not the one who stepped out of line, and nobody gets to decide what you eat, but you.

Hope you get to feeling better soon. I know it's discouraging to be stepped all over like that!


[/QUOTE]This is just some interesting reading, but might give you a little ammunition.

Fasting has been done by humans for a pretty long time, you know. Over all areas of the world and all times, people have fasted for religious and political reasons, and certainly for physical and mental health reasons. Many illnesses and great injuries we, and even animals, experience result in no appetite and a fasting response, sometimes for many days, devoting all the energies of the body to protecting and healing.

There is absolutely nothing dangerous with eating few calories every other day, when combined with eating a full compliment of calories on the opposing days. The fasting day heals and cleans our bodies, and the feasting days nourish us and feed our souls too.

Anyone who mistakes this way of eating with anorexia is very uneducated about both subjects, and anyone who believes that this plan is unhealthy simply knows little or nothing about the health benefits of fasting, the calorie restriction studies, the length-of-life studies, etc...

I guess perhaps we can't blame them for being uneducated about all of this, but they didn't have to be so rude in their responses.

Of course, don't mind them, continue with JUDDD and do a FANTASTIC job of it. You will very soon be slimming down so much they will notice, and the aura of health surrounding you will probably be noticeable from across the room.

And it won't be too long before you'll be at maintenance weight and having more calories to enjoy in your plan besides! Smart you and silly them! [/QUOTE]

[/QUOTE[Don't spiral and don't cry. BE MAD AS HELL! How dare anyone tell you if your WOE is right or wrong. It's one thing for people that really care about you to show concern, it's quite another what your "so called" friend did. Use this to your advantage!

YOU GOT THIS! [/QUOTE]


ladies i really can't thank you enough....i feel better now and i WILL get this....those are some good articles 'so happy' again, i just didn't really know what to say and and was shocked by the assault....i truly am happy to have found such a lovely group that GET's me, picks me back up and dusts me off to fend for myself another day! HUGS!
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:02 PM   #11
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I'm sorry! I would have been so upset by that if I was in your place. She was being VERY disrespectful. They were all being badly behaved, but the one that was telling you how she thinks she should diet was being really over the top. She owes you a giant apology.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:28 PM   #12
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I'm sorry you had to go through this It's funny how our "friends" can feel so weirdly threatened when we try new things. It's like they get irrationally scared that we're going to change and succeed and leave them behind or something.

Your experience (because you got such a shocking reaction from your friends) reminded me that when Dr. Atkins died, a friend of mine who knew I was lowcarbing, said viciously that she was glad he was dead because he'd ruined so many lives . I still don't know what the heck she was thinking, but what she said completely blindsided me, and I had no idea how to respond. People often react in the strangest ways when we least expect it!

Give yourself a big hug and have a wonderful, freeing DD tomorrow. You have absolutely no need to prove anything to anyone else!
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:02 PM   #13
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:03 PM   #14
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Wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I think I've learned from my experiences with Atkins. I always told people I was on a diet, and then they would ask me what it is and they would start lecture me on how Atkins is unhealthy and bla bla.

This time around, I'm not telling AnYONe I'm doing JUDDD. The only person to know is my boyfriend and he fully supports me with anything I do.. All other people do is question it and lecture me about how it can't be healthy. And they make a big deal out of it. I don't WANT to discuss it every time. I know that when I tell people now that I added back carbs and I'm eating 500 calories every other day, I won't be having a fun conversation about it. Probably just lots of raised eyebrows and I'm not having any of that this time around! So whenever I visit family or in laws, I'll make sure it's an up day and I'll pretend to still be on LC.

Either that or I'll pretend to be done with my "diet" because I've reached my goal weight. They thought of it as a diet (sth I did to only lose weight) after all.

A few white lies to keep people from judging sth they don't know about.
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Old 01-14-2012, 11:36 PM   #15
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ooommmggg I hate people like that. I went through it all the time on atkins. Now I'm pretty much "whatever" about the whole thing. Its not like I'm eating for them.

Also, it helps to point on whats wrong with something they eat/drink. For example, I got SO sick of my parents giving me grief over my diet that I started giving them grief over their aspartame consumption lol.

Every time they took a drink of their Diet Coke or Coke Zero, I'd be like... "you know that turns into formaldehyde at body temp right?"..."you know that's being researched as a link to cancers... right?"

They started to leave me alone, didn't much like it being turned back around on them.

The bottom line though is that there are risks with any diet/any food/any drink. Discoveries are still being made about what the human body needs, etc and saying you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that (insert diet here) is exactly what the body needs, is arrogant. (Besides water... we all kinda need that lol)

OH OH I esspecially loved the type of person that would criticize me for eating low carb... while they shoved a huge bite of artery-clogging birthday cake in their mouths. Ok I'm done, it's past 130 am here and I'm about to ramble LOL.
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:47 AM   #16
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When people ask me I describe it as calorie cycling. I do not go into the 500 DD. I do remember when I was first looking into JUDDD I never thought I could just eat 500 or less in a day.

You are doing whats right for you!!
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Old 01-15-2012, 04:23 AM   #17
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You and I and many of us are following a progression of learning what is healthy and best for out bodies. We all face explaining to friends and families when our eating changes.

LC is a proven, sustainable woe that controls and sometimes repairs a broken carb metabolism, has awesome health benefits, and supports weight loss. LC is good.

Intermittent fasting does all of that and more in terms of overall health. Read the links Pat sent. Go to webmd.com and search on 'fasting' - learn about the good you are doing for your body. Suggest your friends do the same. IF via JUDDD is good.

You are on a journey to successful weight loss and vastly improved long-term health. Your friends' need to criticize your journey is THEIR problem. It is not yours. Take a deep breath, another, another. Now read this aloud, "That %#$ is their problem. I will not make it mine. My only concern is my health and my weight and the journey I am on."

Hugs darling. You can overcome this bump in the road.
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JUDDD cares about calories. JUDDD does not care what you eat. Your body probably does.
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Old 01-15-2012, 04:24 AM   #18
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That is so frustrating!! Im so sorry that happened. I heard it too when i started eating lowcarb. How bad it was and they couldnt believe i was eating that way, while they were still packing on the pounds and eating tons of crap and i was dropping weight like crazy. Everyone finally shut up after they saw how healthy i was and how skinny i was!! LOL
I havent told anyone about JUDDD either though. Everyone knows i do some crazy diet stuff, and to them it would just something else michelle is trying. I have told my SO and thats about it. Forget them!!! Your best friend is not that much of a friend to make you feel that way and im really sorry!
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:11 AM   #19
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Oops, I see I made the jump from calorie restriction to IF too fast. I spend so much time studying this stuff the leap just comes naturally. Run an internet search on ' fasting calorie restriction' and further arm yourself with motivating information.
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:15 AM   #20
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Friends and family sometimes rub us the wrong way, even though they think they've got our best interest at heart.
Don't worry, before too long it will be "I can't believe you can eat all that and still lose weight!"
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:23 AM   #21
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This lady I work with said its very unhealthy to eat under 500c in a day
and that fasting is bad.

All I am going to say is she is very large.

And i told her I believe in fasting and I have lost 15 pounds doing it.
every other day.

It kills when people say I just couldn't or wouldn't do that. or even try.

And then you have the ones who say I hate counting calories. I'd never do that.
I under stand being scared. I'm more scared of having poor health.
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:46 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by dasiey View Post
This lady I work with said its very unhealthy to eat under 500c in a day
and that fasting is bad.

All I am going to say is she is very large.

And i told her I believe in fasting and I have lost 15 pounds doing it.
every other day.

It kills when people say I just couldn't or wouldn't do that. or even try.

And then you have the ones who say I hate counting calories. I'd never do that.
I under stand being scared. I'm more scared of having poor health.
If I discuss my way of eating at all, I just say I eat normally on one day and diet well on next. Although I do talk diet with my close gal pals. But we always support each other.

Lots of people in this part of the world aren't familiar with fasting, are suspicious of it, and think it's dangerous not to eat at least three squares per day with snacks and treats stuffed into the openings between meals.

If they wouldn't be interested in my plan, I am completely fine with that. If they think they couldn't do it, I think they are working with a self-defeating attitude and, once again, have little knowledge of fasting and how very quickly that gnawing hunger of *not eating... starving to death* goes away.

And when they say how they could never count calories... fine, again. They can do anything they want. Or don't want.

Here's the funny thing. The only folks who have ever made comments about how they couldn't do a diet that cuts calories very low or they would never want to measure their foods or they would never want to monitor their calorie consumption have been fat people! In my experience, my slim acquaintances always think attention to calories is a fine idea, and fasting for short periods is a bonus to health.
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:15 AM   #23
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When people ask me I describe it as calorie cycling. I do not go into the 500 DD. I do remember when I was first looking into JUDDD I never thought I could just eat 500 or less in a day.

You are doing whats right for you!!
^This is what I do. Honestly, I've been JUDDDing since the end of September and no one has really paid that much attention to what I'm eating. On UDs I look like a *normal* eater, and on DDs I have only gotten minimal comments. I just say, "Oh, I'm eating light today." I haven't even told DH about JUDDD. All he know is that he sees me logging foods into my phone and sometimes (like if he and the boys want to do Chinese or pizza for dinner, and it happens to be a DD), I'll say "I'm not eating that today." DH pretty much knows better than question me about what I'm eating...he's been reminded many a times that he's not my Food Police.

I'm so sorry you had to sit through that roasting, Melissa. If i had been in your place, I probably would have asked my 'friend' why eating so few calories every other day was bad and why eating 1100 every day was better? I hate when people say those kind of statements but don't back it up with "why." is there something she knows that you don't?...because I know that eating 1100 calories a day every day to lose weight will turn metabolism way down. This will make it more likely that I'll regain weight quickly if I ever go back to eating much more than those 1100 calories. I do not want to spend the rest of my life at 1100 calories a day.

Sorry for the ramble/rant! Next time I'll tell you how I really feel, LOL!!
Hugs!
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:59 AM   #24
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After having been on HHCG protocol, I've learned not to say a word about my WOE.

My husband is the only one who knows what I'm doing and one more friend IRL who is also doing JUDDD and is a member here.

I simply make sure that when we go out now, it's an UD. I don't need anyone's critique about what I eat, when they should be, in fact, looking at themselves in the mirror.

I am so sorry you were subjected to this, and hopefully you will be armed the next time your 'friend', or anyone else, approaches you in an offensive manner.
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:04 AM   #25
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So sorry this happened! Feeling like you're being attacked by "friends" over something that's nobody else's business... grrrr!!!

Things will go differently next time. If they comment on your increased carbs, you could say you are in a different phase of your plan - gone "up the rung" to a higher carb level now that you've reached a certain place in your weight loss or time on the diet.

Or don't tell them precisely how low your DD go. I would sometimes say I do calorie cycling, where one day I eat higher calories, one day less. I would leave it at that - nobody asked anything further.

Everyone else here had good ideas, so you can plan ahead. But I know when an attack comes out of the blue like that, it leaves you just floored and flabbergasted!
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:39 AM   #26
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wow all of you are sooo amazing and nice and well just plain awesome....i came out of it and think the best way to answer any questions now regarding my plan is to say, 'oh i'm not on any diet anymore....' and exactly that, only that, and leave it at that!! i'm NOT ON A DIET...i have a 'Way of eating' the support here is amazing and i hope that this experience may help some of the newbies to cope with a situation like this....YAY!
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:17 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kel7298 View Post
Don't spiral and don't cry. BE MAD AS HELL! How dare anyone tell you if your WOE is right or wrong. It's one thing for people that really care about you to show concern, it's quite another what your "so called" friend did. Use this to your advantage!

YOU GOT THIS!

I agree completely!! Next time, just say, "You might want to brush up on the research and current studies regarding the benefits of fasting/alternate fasting." BOOM!
Do not let people who have no idea what they are taking about get you down! There will ALWAYS be ignorant people in the world. And I don't mean ignorant as stupid; ignorant just means someone who doesn't know the facts.
Also, read up on some of the facts here so you can stop them in their tracks. When I tell people stuff like, "there are hundreds of studies showing that intermittent fasting is actually good for the body, including lowering blood sugar levels, insulin resistance," or whatever, they usually stop talking immediately, because they realize "hey--maybe she knows something I don't know."
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:26 AM   #28
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Some nerve! I am sorry that happened!

What a jerk and how inappropriate to do during a social outing!

ANYWAY, I haven't read all the responses, am short on time but CHANNEL these feelings into DETERMINATION. You ARE going to show this so and so a thing or two!
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:33 AM   #29
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I WILL!!! it's game day today and I'm NOT hungry BUT I do want a beer or 5 and I'm not gonna cause I WANNA WIN...I will protect this house...and if you're a RAVENS fan you understand but my HOUSE is my body and I WILL protect it and use those words as fuel so when i DO get to eat a calzone, and i only ate half.....and will eat the other half tomorrow UD....and while she's trying to lose weight, I'll LOOK fantastic!!! I just colored my hair and highlights...so i FEEL fantastic right now...only at 140c so far today and loving the energy...i may just workout again i feel so good....did 15min on the elliptical and then cleaned the house...
THANKS for the PEP talks!!! I really hope and beg steal borrow that I can ROCK this WOE
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:39 AM   #30
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You rock! Keep it up!
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