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Old 01-10-2012, 01:33 PM   #1
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Should I lose A Bit More? Advice Needed!

I have been maintaining at my 133 goal for 2 months now, with fluctations of a lb or 2.
I am 5.5 1/2" tall, 40 years old.
I am maintaining by doing FD/DD..on FD I eat what and when I want...I am sure I do over 2500 most days ..DD are never over 550.
Trouble is, I have major panics ( I feel so depressed) whenever I go over my 133 goal....I realise this is leftover from my ED days.
I am considering going back to my 1800/500 numbers (i got to goal with these) to see if I can get a few more lbs off.
Perhaps 1900/550, for a daily average of 1200?
Then I would have a bit more bounce room....and perhaps not panic so much.
I would really appreciate your opinions, juddd budds!

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Old 01-10-2012, 01:46 PM   #2
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OK, first I have a couple of questions. You say that you panic if you go over your current 133 pounds *limit*.... so if you lost five more pounds, do you think you would then panic if you went over your 128 pounds *limit*? I guess what I'm asking is, is your *limit* always going to be at the lowest number you diet down to?

Or if you lose 5 more pounds and get to 128 pounds, will you be able to think of 133 pounds as your upper limit and not panic until you see it on the scale?

I've read the Rule of Thumb for women is 5 lbs of weight for each inch we are over 5 feet tall. So at 5'5-1/2 inches of height, 128 pounds would about be at the Rule of Thumb perfect weight. But, of course, there will be a huge variance in the truth of that, depending our our bone density and skeletal structure, the amount of butt and boob abundance our body is blessed or cursed with, etc. etc. etc.

What does your mirror say? If you can't assess yourself truthfully, what does your husband say? Your sister, in her total honesty. Your girlfriend. How do you look in your clothing? If you saw somebody with your exact build and weight, walking toward you on the sidewalk, would you think she was slim and trim, or would you think she could stand to shed 5 or 10 pounds? Honestly.

Hon, none of us can really help you make this decision, but you know we will be behind you 100% if you think you need to lose a bit more. I'd just say.. not too much. LOL And if you come to believe that this is it, and a good weight to be, than we will approve your maintenance and rely on you to help others reach their maintenance weights too.

Hugs, whatever you decide.
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Old 01-10-2012, 02:44 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoHappy View Post
OK, first I have a couple of questions. You say that you panic if you go over your current 133 pounds *limit*.... so if you lost five more pounds, do you think you would then panic if you went over your 128 pounds *limit*? I guess what I'm asking is, is your *limit* always going to be at the lowest number you diet down to?
Or if you lose 5 more pounds and get to 128 pounds, will you be able to think of 133 pounds as your upper limit and not panic until you see it on the scale?

I've read the Rule of Thumb for women is 5 lbs of weight for each inch we are over 5 feet tall. So at 5'5-1/2 inches of height, 128 pounds would about be at the Rule of Thumb perfect weight. But, of course, there will be a huge variance in the truth of that, depending our our bone density and skeletal structure, the amount of butt and boob abundance our body is blessed or cursed with, etc. etc. etc.

What does your mirror say? If you can't assess yourself truthfully, what does your husband say? Your sister, in her total honesty. Your girlfriend. How do you look in your clothing? If you saw somebody with your exact build and weight, walking toward you on the sidewalk, would you think she was slim and trim, or would you think she could stand to shed 5 or 10 pounds? Honestly.

Hon, none of us can really help you make this decision, but you know we will be behind you 100% if you think you need to lose a bit more. I'd just say.. not too much. LOL And if you come to believe that this is it, and a good weight to be, than we will approve your maintenance and rely on you to help others reach their maintenance weights too.

Hugs, whatever you decide.
I have been asking myself the same question! Originally my goal was 135....the 133 was meant to give me a bit of leeway...but in UK numbers it is dead on 9 1/2 stone...so I kind of want to be a bit under.

Physically, I am fine. DH doesn't want me to lose any more, my fav clothes are a little loose. I look fine dressed!
Nekked...well I am quite skinny on the top half -small boobs, visible ribs, little waist...but rather heavy thighs...a typical british "pear"...sigh!

Thing is....a few more pounds wont make any difference physically....its not the physical thats the problem

I think it could make a difference mentally...I just get so anxious each morning before weighing, in case I am over my 9 1/2 stone. It has got to the point I only enjoy the first half of my FD?UD...and spend the rest worring that I am going to be over goal the next morning....

This is not the kind of person I want to be!

Tomorrow is a DD...then I will decide how to do the next few UD's.

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Old 01-10-2012, 02:50 PM   #4
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I dunno, if you can see your ribs... I think there's an issue where you are too obsessed with the number on the scale. This doesn't seem to be very healthy for you, especially if you say that your clothes are already loose. If the number means so much to you get a scale that counts in pounds so you at least have that 2 pound wiggle that you're missing now.
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Old 01-10-2012, 02:52 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joedi View Post
I have been asking myself the same question! Originally my goal was 135....the 133 was meant to give me a bit of leeway...but in UK numbers it is dead on 9 1/2 stone...so I kind of want to be a bit under.

Physically, I am fine. DH doesn't want me to lose any more, my fav clothes are a little loose. I look fine dressed!
Nekked...well I am quite skinny on the top half -small boobs, visible ribs, little waist...but rather heavy thighs...a typical british "pear"...sigh!

Thing is....a few more pounds wont make any difference physically....its not the physical thats the problem

I think it could make a difference mentally...I just get so anxious each morning before weighing, in case I am over my 9 1/2 stone. It has got to the point I only enjoy the first half of my FD?UD...and spend the rest worring that I am going to be over goal the next morning....

This is not the kind of person I want to be!

Tomorrow is a DD...then I will decide how to do the next few UD's.

hugs
Jo
x
OK, Hon. Let's say you lose three more pounds, now under 9-1/2 stone. That won't be so much more as to make you much slimmer, in fact, if your DH doesn't catch on that you are actually eating to lose weight, he probably won't notice that small of an additional loss.

Then that will give you a 3-pound empty space beneath that exact 9-1/2 stone number. So on an unhappy occasion when you might retain unexpectedly, you will have a bit of wiggle room.

Maybe this will be a solution that will feel good to you emotionally and give you a better shield against apprehension over the scale number.

How do you feel about this idea?
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Old 01-10-2012, 02:55 PM   #6
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Hi dear Jo

It sounds like you are right about where you need to be weight-wise, and from your "after" pics, you look wonderful.

What about giving yourself some room to bounce on the scale up to 135#? If you see it go higher, you can reign in your FDs, but you will allow yourself up to 135# without panic? It's impossible to maintain right at a set number 24/7 without any variation. As you know, the body can't do that - there WILL be bounces. So if you give yourself a good range to bounce up and down to, it will help you feel calmer about it.

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Old 01-10-2012, 03:05 PM   #7
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*hugs* I'd rather see you get help for your anxiety disorder than lose any more weight. I'm not sure that further weight loss is the solution here. I'm afraid that "five more pounds" will leave to "five more pounds" and so on.
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Old 01-10-2012, 03:23 PM   #8
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Quote:
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*hugs* I'd rather see you get help for your anxiety disorder than lose any more weight. I'm not sure that further weight loss is the solution here. I'm afraid that "five more pounds" will leave to "five more pounds" and so on.
I agree. Ultimately, you need to do what's healthy for you. You look amazing, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a DH who adores you. Now may be the time to see if there's a way to address your anxiety. I know it's easier said than done. I have anxiety in other areas and I know it's a horrible feeling.
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Old 01-10-2012, 03:37 PM   #9
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Here's the thing though. We don't really know Jo's true size and appearance, only that she is quite slim above and heavier on the bottom half. Having clothing be a bit loose doesn't tell us anything at all, really, as we find clothing looser every step of the way in our weight loss.

And according to that silly Rule of Thumb I posted above.. 5 lbs for each inch above 5 feet we are.. Jo can come in at 128 pounds and be exactly the correct weight. So this does, indeed, allow for her to lose those three more pounds to give her a speck of wiggle room below the 9-1/2 stone her scale shows weight there. So I don't think this is so bad or scary.

It's a lot like those of us who want our weight to be 147, so we have some wiggle room before we see we've broken through into the 150s again.

Now I would agree that if this isn't enough to do it, if the ED apprehension continues to threaten, if there is compulsion to have to keep going lower and lower and lower, then it's time for a bit more help, someone to help her find a bit better balance. Because we know that EDs are hard to relax and let leave our thoughts. Jo's done a wonderful job managing her ED and her eating, and her life on JUDDD.

But there is room for the loss of a few more pounds without a problem if that brings Jo to a more comfortable weight to her way of thinking.
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Old 01-10-2012, 05:12 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoHappy View Post
Here's the thing though. We don't really know Jo's true size and appearance, only that she is quite slim above and heavier on the bottom half. Having clothing be a bit loose doesn't tell us anything at all, really, as we find clothing looser every step of the way in our weight loss.
I agree that 125 can be a normal weight even for 5'6". I'm 5'6" and the normal range for my weight is 125-145. I was just going on the "visible ribs" image though, to me that's getting really thin if you can see the individual ribs, no? Maybe I've just never been thin enough.
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Old 01-10-2012, 05:25 PM   #11
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I have missed you jo. Boy do I know exactly what you are taking about. Im struggling right now because I am the highest I have been in 2 years. It's killing me. I was where you are right now though. I got down to 135 and was way too skinny. I was very thin up top and bigger thighs because I have some extra skin. You could see my bones and my boobs were just dropping pieces of skin. I had everyone telling me I looked anorexic and with my ED problems I didn't see it. I finally started seeing it and started lifting weights, changed up my diet, well, I have to admit I felt and looked better. I have snacking muscles but I have also gained more than what im comfy with at this point, which is eight I have come to JUDDD. Im just wanting to be about 140. If I get too much lower than that I will
ook bad. This may not be something you can judge for yourself because of ED. I agree that maybe you should talk to your husband, friend, sister, someone like that. I know what pat is talking with you having a little more wiggle room, but those of us with ED don't always see that. There will always be a need to have even more wiggle room. If you go lower its that gonna be enough, really. I am 5' 7" so im not that much taller than you and when got down to 133 I looked really bad. You probably look amazing at the weight you are especially if you are bottom heavy. If you go to much lower think about how your upper body will look. Those of us that are bottom heavy, even losing 3 or 4 pounds can really show cuz it comes right off the face and shoulders.
Just be careful. I feel for you so much and you have been such a huge inspiration to me with your ED. Mine comes and goes and right now im ok and I hope it stays that way.
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:14 PM   #12
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I can only give you my experience at being the same height and the same shape as you (I'm a pear, also, and being the exact same weight and height, we could be twins born 14 year apart )!

At your age (40) I got down to 127 pounds doing WW and even though I felt wonderful everyone I met who hadn't seen me in a while was shocked at how skinny I was. And yes I was skinny! I look at pictures now and wonder why I didn't see what everyone was seeing. Now I do! I looked sickly, bottom line. And no matter how wonderful I felt, I just didn't look well and THAT bothers me more than anything else, especially when I thought I looked so good.

And 5 pounds doesn't look like much on a heavier person but when we get to a certain weight, as you and I are, 5 pounds can make us look emaciated. I have gotten to 132 and have had people tell me to STOP losing weight, I was too skinny and that is only 2 pounds below my favorite weight of 134.

My opinion? I wouldn't lose another pound. I think you look wonderful , and if you need some wiggle room make it 2 pounds not 5 pounds. AND I also think you need to figure out a way to see through "other people's eyes" and not your own. Take a picture! That is what I have done and it shows me just how thin I really am even though my "fat eyes" tell me different.

Love you, Jo and I know you will figure this out!
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Old 01-11-2012, 03:34 AM   #13
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Jo - the number on a scale is just that, a number. For some reason - for a lot of us - me included - it has become such an important thing.

It's only us who see the scale (and the dreaded number) - everyone else just sees us!

This is probably doesn't help much - sorry!!

Another thought is - forget stones - change your weight on your scales to lbs or kg - and then you may not have the same 'challenge'.

Good luck!
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:28 PM   #14
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First off all...thankyou!
You guys are so awesome...taking the time to reply to me
You raised some good points...like Shelly and Beeb said, I dont think I see myself objectively...I feel slim in my clothes, but out of them all I can see are my flaws...ie big wobbly legs!
I do think I am ok weight wise as far as my body is concerned...its a healthy weight, and there is not much I can do about my unbalanced proportions (or my belly, after 2 large babies!)
However, I think I may need to lose a couple of lbs, for my peace of mind...I just find it so hard to see the number go over my goal! In my poor ED brain, adjusting my goal up a lb ot 2 seems like failure ( When I can say to myself, "I am 9 - 1/2 stone", I feel good about myself)
Here are a couple of pics of me taken today, after weighing in at 133.(apologies in advance...would have co-ordinated my undies if I had thought!))
As you can see..skinny top half..wobbly tum n fat legs!) Please be objective...I really need some honest opinions!


By treacletart2 at 2012-01-11


By treacletart2 at 2012-01-11


By treacletart2 at 2012-01-11


By treacletart2 at 2012-01-11
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:35 PM   #15
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You look wonderful, even as we knew you would from previous pictures and from your stats. I do know what you mean about slim on top and heavier in hips and thighs, but we really didn't see those latter two parts of you out of jeans, and in jeans they look good.

If you end up going for a bit below the 9-1/2 stone, just for wiggle room, please don't do five pounds... only a couple. Please.
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:39 PM   #16
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For want of a better phrase - it's a female shape - nothing wrong with that!

But only you know what you need to do. And only you can be truly honest with yourself about your past EDs. I'm not saying your desire to be lighter (notice I don't say smaller!) is based on that - but it is easy to say it might be; however, this is based on no true knowledge about EDs in general and yours in particular.

Equally - it could be that you know your body and know where it will feel most comfortable.
Good luck!
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:54 PM   #17
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Jo - I'm just not seeing what you are in these pictures. I see thin all over! That is my honest opinion. I believe you could add a couple pounds and it would do no harm whatsoever. Anything that you think looks wobbly could no doubt be firmed up with exercise - I have that issue myself. I am at the weight I want to be, but need toned up. I don't even see a wobbly/toning issue with you in these pics! Though I see it in my own pics.

I am not saying this is what's going on with you, but I'll just throw this out there because it's something that I had to deal with when I first reached goal weight.... I'd been putting all this effort into losing weight for months. It was great to come here and share another loss and see the scale move down. When I reached goal, it was thrilling and then there I was, with no more goal you might say. Just maintaining. Not that maintaining is boring - I love being at my normal weight again! It has its thrills, but there is also the thrillsof seeing a new low... maintaining is just bouncing around a range. Now of course I'm in no way unhappy at maintenance - I'm eating all the foods I want and it's all JOY. But I do understand if there is something going on in the back of your mind about missing the challenge of the weight loss too. Sorry if this is way off base though! Just trying to help, friend.
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:06 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoHappy View Post
You look wonderful, even as we knew you would from previous pictures and from your stats. I do know what you mean about slim on top and heavier in hips and thighs, but we really didn't see those latter two parts of you out of jeans, and in jeans they look good.

If you end up going for a bit below the 9-1/2 stone, just for wiggle room, please don't do five pounds... only a couple. Please.
Yes, my thoughts exactly! I see ribs, very defined and sticking out, and that is always a warning for me that I have lost too much weight. And as far as my shape; I will ALWAYS have these saddle bags hips and there is nothing I will never be able to do anything about them short of surgery (NO WAY !) about it. I had them at 112 pounds at 27 and I have them at 134 at 54 and they are even bigger now because I sit so much more at 54. They are what they are. YOU don't have saddle bag hips, you are nice and slim everywhere, as far as I can see.

I really think you need to see beyond what I call our "fat eyes"; The eyes WE see with and not the rest of the world. The eyes that tell us we are still overweight or not proportioned as WE think we should be.

If I looked like you I wouldn't lose anymore weight. As a matter of fact I started to see ribs, and that is what got me to stop losing weight and to actually put on a couple more pounds. I just found it unattractive on myself, not saying this about you at all, just what I saw on me and didn't like.

The bottom line question I would like to ask is one that Shelly asked; When is enough good enough? That is something I think we ALL deal with. I know with me being a size 6 would be wonderful, but that would mean 5 more pounds off of me and THAT would NOT be wonderful, I would look sickly and very skinny. Not cool for this 54 year old lady!! So my 133/134 IS enough and that is what I keep reminding myself when I "think" I should lose more.
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:28 PM   #19
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Joedi, you look really, really thin to me. I restate my opinion that you don't need to lose any more weight. Even if you WERE able to lose five more pounds, there is NO guarantee you'd lose them from your "heavy" thighs (which look just great to me!) You weren't kidding about being able to see ribs. You are thin!
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Old 01-11-2012, 02:57 PM   #20
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Jo don't lose anymore. You look wonderful ad really a bit too thin. I was looking like that at 133 and it tok me seeing through other people eyes to see I was too thin. I didn't look atractive anymore.
You are beautiful
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Old 01-11-2012, 03:09 PM   #21
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Same thoughts here, Jo. We are ALL our own worst enemies, and you are NOT heavier on the bottom from what I and most others can see. Take care of what will ease your anxiety--if that means 3 lbs. less--so be it. It's not the end of the world either way. Most important is staying healthy in body AND mind. We are all here for you.
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Old 01-11-2012, 03:13 PM   #22
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I hesitate to say this, but I say it as someone in recovery and with honest compassion. It seems to me that this is not about the weight or appearance. At all. You've said that you know it's connected to your ED and you talk about feeling panicked. I know that panic and I know (for me) it has nothing to do with the # on the scale or the body in the mirror. It's all about the stuff going on inside the mind, heart and spirit.

I'm sorry if I'm being too blunt, but I don't think getting feedback from people here when it's such a loaded situation (we're all well-meaning but we don't know anything about your ED history) is truly helpful. I highly recommend Normal Eating by Sheryl Canter, which helped me enormously.

Again, I truly apologize if I'm way off the mark
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Old 01-11-2012, 03:18 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joedi View Post
I have been maintaining at my 133 goal for 2 months now, with fluctations of a lb or 2.
I am 5.5 1/2" tall, 40 years old.
I am maintaining by doing FD/DD..on FD I eat what and when I want...I am sure I do over 2500 most days ..DD are never over 550.
Trouble is, I have major panics ( I feel so depressed) whenever I go over my 133 goal....I realise this is leftover from my ED days.
I am considering going back to my 1800/500 numbers (i got to goal with these) to see if I can get a few more lbs off.
Perhaps 1900/550, for a daily average of 1200?
Then I would have a bit more bounce room....and perhaps not panic so much.
I would really appreciate your opinions, juddd budds!

hugs
Jo
x
This is one little problem right here, I think. ^ ^ ^

For most, if our goal was 133, we would then say.. OK, my range from the goal weight will be three pounds in either direction. So I will always strive to weigh between 130 and 136. That gives my body enough leeway to do its normal fluctuation thing as it adds to its water stores and jettisons water stores, just as Mother Nature designed it to happen.

Then, we weigh daily, or sometimes weekly, and if the weight goes over the high of 136, it triggers *diet mode* and we intentionally lose weight down to 130 or 131 or so, and we're back in maintenance once again. And of course the reverse of that for those who tend to lose below where they want to maintain.

If you have absolutely set your goal as a single absolute number, it won't remain absolute like that, even if you eat the exact some calorie and nutrient balance every single day of your life from here on out.

I'm wondering if some of the quandary and distress is because of your scale. That is, your scale the measures you in stones, rather than a scale that measure you in pounds, etc. So seeing the even reading of exactly 9-1/2 stone, seems so exact, so clean, so neat, so perfect, but if it goes over that fraction in fluctuation, it's ruined.

I think also, this happens more to us when we define Goal as an absolute number, and arriving at goal means all the focus is on that exact number. Not on our body. Not on our health. Just on the number that some scale shows us. Then why not turn the dial back a little, so that the number that is so all-consuming is always low enough to never go over? If the joy is all in the number, why not arrange for it.

And.. how do you even know that your scale is exact? I don't on mine. LOL It could be weighing me light, although I'm sure if it's off, it's weighing me on the too heavy side. LOL But what I'm saying is, maybe you're already below 9-1/2 stone and the scale is just set fractionally off.

Maybe you could just get a scale that reads in pounds and fractions and then make your goal be between 130 and 135, with a gentle hope to reside somewhere between the two numbers? Would that work?
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:34 PM   #24
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You look wonderful !

I do the same as you FD/DD exactly and have been maintaining well at my goal weight BUT I still hate my thighs especially (jiggle) and the celluite on my butt.

So I have decided instead of losing more weight to focus more on toning up and especially focusing on the area's I am unhappy with.

I think if you are happy with your FD/DD system and maintaining well with it then stay with it. You will not be happy getting to a lower weight and struggling to maintain and having more restrictions. Good Luck !
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:43 PM   #25
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My two cents, for all it's worth is this.

Jo you are so beautiful. Mind and body alike. We all see it, hopefully you can see it too. It's such an unfortunate curse for anyone that has been overweight in their lifetime.
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Old 01-11-2012, 07:08 PM   #26
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Jo, you look great. I'd be extremely careful about trying to lose even one more pound, because I'd worry that it might only lead to greater anxieties. Do you have access to other resources for helping with your weight anxieties? A group of some sort, or therapy?

I'm concerned because my sister (who has always been my size, although shaped a bit differently) has suddenly lost more weight. She says it's only a few pounds, but she seems emaciated, and I'm worried that she might have tipped over into a true eating disorder. So I may be projecting my concerns about her onto you, of course. But I worry about how easy it is for us to view ourselves with distorted eyes, even after we've lost plenty of weight.

Good luck!
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Old 01-11-2012, 08:51 PM   #27
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You look really great, Jo! Both halves of you. I don't see a bigger half at all. I do think any more pounds lost would be too much.

I am wondering if you'd be better off in the end not trying to get down to a weight that doesn't make you anxious, but learning to not be anxious at what looks like a healthy and quite thin weight.
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Old 01-11-2012, 09:48 PM   #28
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Actually you look very thin. Your legs too! Our bodies look exactly the same (except your taller). Really weird. I don't think you need to lose anymore!
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Old 01-11-2012, 10:31 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kel7298 View Post
My two cents, for all it's worth is this.

Jo you are so beautiful. Mind and body alike. We all see it, hopefully you can see it too. It's such an unfortunate curse for anyone that has been overweight in their lifetime.


Jo, you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. I say throw that darn scale out in the trash and just use your clothes to keep you maintaining.

I know that is crazy talk because of your ED, but I really feel like that scale has become the enemy and just feeds into your fears and anxieties.

Just my 2 cents.
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Old 01-12-2012, 06:53 AM   #30
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Honestly, I think you look wonderful!
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