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Old 12-14-2011, 12:31 PM   #1
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Christmas Cookie Rules!

This was posted by See Major on the Playground. Wasn't sure how many go over that way, so thought I'd repost here!

Christmas Cookie Rules...

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street " have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8 . As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking Causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.
We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies ...
we only get them this time of year!

"Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!"

"Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration."
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Old 12-14-2011, 03:57 PM   #2
Why wait, just do it NOW!
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LOVE THIS!!! Thanks for posting, Hands!!
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Old 12-14-2011, 04:16 PM   #3
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Old 12-14-2011, 07:34 PM   #4
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All true!!!! And I have one to add. Christmas Cookies and, actually, any food eaten in church, has NO calories, carbs, or fat. AND will help you lose weight!!! It's true. So go to those holiday potlucks at your church and eat up!!!!! It's good for you!!!!
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Old 12-15-2011, 10:25 AM   #5
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
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Very cute!!
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Old 12-17-2011, 07:12 AM   #6
Way too much time on my hands!
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Old 12-19-2011, 10:00 AM   #7
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I think I will eat another cookie.... tomorrow
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Old 12-19-2011, 04:37 PM   #8
Way too much time on my hands!
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This was cute!! At work today, I asked one customer* if she wanted whipped cream and the cherry on top of her milkshake. Her reply..."Of course. Christmas calories don't count" I loved her response!!!

*Of course I ask every customer if they want those things added to their shake, but her response was priceless
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Old 12-19-2011, 07:11 PM   #9
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Too funny
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Old 12-19-2011, 08:31 PM   #10
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
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Very cute! I love cookies. I have a couple in my desk at work waiting for me. Gotta love JUDDD
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Old 12-19-2011, 08:49 PM   #11
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Finally reading this... very funny! I especially like #8! lol
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