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Old 09-22-2011, 08:55 PM   #1
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I'm out for awhile

I've been away from the boards for a few days. I recently had an appointment with a psychiatrist; one that was long overdue. I know I've suffered transient major depression since I was very young (typically called Dysthymia) and I haven't been able to treat it for a very long time due to the medications being more than we could reasonably afford.

I went in today to also talk about my binge eating and the fact that many times, my eating is more of a physical compulsion that I can't seem to control. I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder and given a prescription for Luvox, which is an SSRI that also acts on OCD. They usually give Topamax for BED, but I didn't like the side effects associated. I still can't fill the prescription for awhile as I have very limited resources.

But the other thing we talked about was diet. I mentioned that I've done low-carb before and mentioned that I was doing JUDDD. He was actually familiar with both diets, but told me that I need to stop everything. He told me that extreme calorie restriction on the DD's of the diet were actually exacerbating my BED, which explains why I would sometimes eat 4000+ calories on my UD's and be completely unable to stop myself. He also said that restriction of any kind, including carb restriction, can trigger binges and he believes this is why I struggle so hard with keeping on track.

So what's the plan? I can't afford the meds right now, and he wants me to find a therapist for dialectical behavior therapy but that's going to have to wait, too. As for diet, he just recommended that I not restrict myself from anything I want, but to try to think about why I'm eating it and how much I should eat before I do eat it. He told me that telling myself I can't have it will just make me want it more, and that it often doesn't work for people with BED to convince themselves they don't want it.

Right now, I don't know what to do, but I'm going to at least follow his advice and stop doing JUDDD and not restrict myself so heavily on carbs. Once we get the mental part of this worked out and I can be in therapy, then I can start on a weight loss plan. Right now my best hope is to maintain.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:06 PM   #2
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Good Luck, I feel your pain with the bingeing! Every day is a struggle for me to not do it.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:35 PM   #3
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Oh Muffin Maiden, I'm so sorry you are having problems!

Have you ever looked into qualifying for discounts on prescription drugs? You can check out the Prescription Assistance Program . I have a friend who couldn't afford a drug she really needed and she qualified for over 60% off.

I struggle with depression myself and can't imagine what my life would be like without my medication. I'm praying this all works out for you.

Christine
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Old 09-23-2011, 01:15 AM   #4
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I suffered from binging/ purging on and off for years, so I can understand some of what you are going through.
For me, juddd gives me the control I need to feel safe, and also the freedom I need not to feel restricted..which, as you know, can lead to a binge.
How do you feel about easing up on low carb and stopping juddd?
Do you feel you will be able to stay in control of your eating enough to maintain?
I am hoping everything goes well for you- your losses are awesome, and I sure hope you keep posting on lcf, even if you arnt dieting for a while!
Big hugs
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Old 09-23-2011, 01:17 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowCarbPanda86 View Post
Good Luck, I feel your pain with the bingeing! Every day is a struggle for me to not do it.
Hi Panda! Great to see you again! I heard you had been going through some tough times, and I have been thinking of you!
Those little feet in your avi are getting smaller, I see!
Are you thinking of doing juddd?

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Old 09-23-2011, 07:11 AM   #6
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I am so sorry you have difficulty with this and understand completely that you are in a period right now where it's necessary to just step back from dietary restriction of any kind. I'd noticed that you hadn't posted in the last couple of days, but sometimes we all just get so busy that it's too much to have to pop in each day, so thought maybe you were just really busy right now.

I'm so glad you were able to get in for a visit with a psychiatrist and get a prescription! I have family members who are doing great with SSRI meds, so I'm hoping for and expecting a great and positive response for you. Did you talk to the doc about the need for financial help to be able to obtain your meds? There are many aids and programs available, so be sure to get some help tracked down so that you can get medication going! You so deserve to be happy and to be able to eat happily without fearing that you are going to be compelled to run away with it all!

And since all weight loss plans require some restriction, in some manner, whether it's a list of foods you are never to eat or an amount of food every other day like this JUDDD plan, when you are able to feel stable, it's pretty much manageable again.

I'll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes in your direction! I hope you'll pop back in here with us often and let us know how you're doing and feeling, and I'm eager to be able to see you back here with us forever and ever very soon again. Like, you're one of the family now, you know.

Take care of yourself. And good luck with all of this. Get those meds. Hugs!
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Old 09-23-2011, 08:24 AM   #7
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Muffin....I've got you in my thoughts for you to find a solution and balance for yourself and would ask that you STAY with us on JUDDD anyway and throw your 2 cents in when you feel the need!

NO reason to not come to the forum just because JUDDDing is not the thing for you at this time. You would be missed if you didn't come in and say hi!

LowCarbPanda86

Last edited by Beeb; 09-23-2011 at 08:26 AM..
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Old 09-23-2011, 11:40 AM   #8
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Hi Muffin. I just want to wish you well with your search for answers with both the depression and BED. I hope it feels like forward progress just to have a diagnosis and some suggestions from a professional. I also hope you are able to find the medications you need at a reduced price.

I hope this is a turning point for you finding answers and healing.

DG
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Old 09-23-2011, 11:58 AM   #9
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Thank you all for so much love. Right now I feel very lost and adrift. I've known for awhile that this was going to happen at some point, but I still wasn't completely prepared to hear that diagnosis.

Right now I feel very directionless and that scares me. Without some kind of dietary focus, I'm afraid that I will go off the deep end and wake up in six months halfway glued to my sofa by half eaten HobNobs and melted ice cream, 80 pounds heavier than I am now. I guess the only thing I can do now is go back to a semi-low carb lifestyle, meaning cutting out wheat and sugar because they make me feel bad physically anyway, but not restrict higher glycemic whole foods like potatoes, fruits, beans, etc. Maybe even let myself eat out once a week or every two weeks without any restrictions at all will help.

Right now its like stumbling around in the dark. I am trying to get on some kind of medication assistance program and maybe charity care for a therapist. I'll come back as often as I can because the support here is just awesome.
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Old 09-23-2011, 01:50 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muffin_maiden View Post
Thank you all for so much love. Right now I feel very lost and adrift. I've known for awhile that this was going to happen at some point, but I still wasn't completely prepared to hear that diagnosis.

Right now I feel very directionless and that scares me. Without some kind of dietary focus, I'm afraid that I will go off the deep end and wake up in six months halfway glued to my sofa by half eaten HobNobs and melted ice cream, 80 pounds heavier than I am now. I guess the only thing I can do now is go back to a semi-low carb lifestyle, meaning cutting out wheat and sugar because they make me feel bad physically anyway, but not restrict higher glycemic whole foods like potatoes, fruits, beans, etc. Maybe even let myself eat out once a week or every two weeks without any restrictions at all will help.

Right now its like stumbling around in the dark. I am trying to get on some kind of medication assistance program and maybe charity care for a therapist. I'll come back as often as I can because the support here is just awesome.
These are the times when I wish our little hugging guys could be made to hug, and then hold somebody for a moment before they let go again. But just plain hugs are the next best thing.

Look up and see if your area has public mental health clinics, and be sure to tell your doctor that you need financial help for your meds. There are so many programs designed for this, I'm pretty sure you can find help. It's just the problem of getting it done, and then getting yourself on the rolls. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

It sounds like allowing yourself to be more relaxed about what you get to eat right now is a good idea. (Except for those HobNobs... I don't know what those are, but they sound kinda' like Ding Dongs. And I have to kind of watch myself around those kinds of things! LOLOLOLOL)

Hang in there. It sounds like you are making progress with this step in stabilizing yourself for your future. You've got the first step under your belt. Next you'll find some financial help, visit with your doc on a regular basis, etc. This is going to work! It's just a matter of getting all your ducks in a row, so to speak.

You're still a part of us, so don't leave us!
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