New rogue hhcg/hcg thread for week of April 30, 2012

[minimonkey]

I think this p2 is getting easier day by day, so far. I'm not very hungry, and that helps! I got through the grumpiness at having to do this again, and now I am just feeling proud of myself for actually doing it.

It is a bit strange, not weighing -- I have to trust that the protocol will work, and also trust my self perceptions about my body -- but I think it is not a bad strategy. I am committed to doing at least the minimum round at near-protocol, so that has to take some weight off!

Slowly getting the house in order, which feels good -- there was a lot of cleaning and re-organizing to do after all the chaos of the past few months, but it is getting done, piece by piece. I still have a mound of grading to do, and I have to hit that in earnest tomorrow ... but I needed a few days to get things in order first. It'll get done.

[minimonkey]

Where are all my rogue peeps???!!!

VLCD 4 in progress over here, and staying the course. I was hungry last night, but I bullied through it, and I am off to another day today.

I'm definitely seeing the inflammation decreasing, and that feels good. This gain was horrid, and I think it was nearly all inflammation! (The fat cells fill up with water, lymph fluid, fat, etc., so it might as well be fat as far as appearances are concerned!)

I will be continuing my current plan -- protocol calories, very slightly rogue, and taking an arsenal of supplements .. so far it is doing me well. I haven't been on the scale, and I think that is a good thing, at least for now. I'm doing what I need to do to heal my body, and that is what matters.

Hope you are all having a good day! I'll be house-tasking today, and will be doing a little grocery shopping tonight for some basics.

Once this round is over, I will need to do some serious strategizing about how to maintain the losses, and I want to start doing some concerted work on my metabolism and overall endocrine health -- and my health in general.

I'm finally getting over the flu -- I have a lingering cough, and I am coughing up a ton of phelgm right now, but it doesn't look nearly so nasty anymore... so I think I am finally at the tail end of this ugly virus.

[CherylB]

I tried to get caught up with reading the posts but sometimes I just can't focus long enough to absorb the information. I skipped through and all I have to say is YEEHAHHHH to Lynne! Sorry about the kitty cat.

I have no idea what anybody else wrote about! Sorry. Have a huge day, again. Worst of it was I went to the hardware store three separate times trying to get things set up to put a macrame swing on the front porch (landlady came and said that's where it went) and when I finally got the right screw hook and some chain to drop it low enough to sit in, I gently and slowly eased my body back into it. The moment my full weight was in the swing, it came crashing down and I landed directly onto my tailbone on the porch, made of 2x4's.

All I could do was sit there, stunned. I couldn't move. I was just in shock! I was feeling pain but my mind was thinking about paralysis and noticed I could still move my legs, could still breath fine (have had the "wind" knocked out of me a time or two.) Then a few minutes later I slowly got up onto my feet and went about plan B.

I felt defeated and it was then a matter of vengeance! I went to the shed and I found a ladder. It was this monstrous thing that folded up in four sections and had all these catches to keep it secure. I finally figured out how to open the dang thing and I picked out a tree limb. Off I went with ladder in tow and I hung that dang swing!

To make sure it was going to "take" and that I was indeed victorious, I sat into it and swung a while. It works! And it's so much better there than it would have been on the front porch. Mission accomplished.

I fear how I'll feel tomorrow though, and I have riding lesson number 3 tomorrow. I'll see if I can walk and if not, I'll call and tell them I had an accident. I want to push through the pain and discomfort. I live with hip and back pain, so what difference will it make to have @$$ pain too?

My firepit is all set up now! Landlady came to mow the lawn unannounced and I hurried to do "poop patrol" which had to have gone undone for a week. Ewww. Then she saw that the four paver stones she'd brought me for the firepit weren't going to work and she headed to a nearby town for 5 more stones. Back she came and it is now set up perfectly.

Then I asked her how she felt about the old, decrepit rope swing and if she would mind if I changed it out to the new (old and weathered) wooden bench swing I got for free this past week. She's cool with it! So I bought some lengths of chain from the hardware store and that will be done this weekend. (Tomorrow is full.)

See why I can't stay up-to-date with all these threads anymore? My life is nothing like it used to be and I have to say, "Thank you, Lord!" But I do look forward to days of total down-time here and there, as soon as I get 100% moved in.

She (landlady) is my most helpful neighbor's niece! They don't know one another because of family feuds but it would be so cool if they cross paths over here, sitting around the firepit someday. I won't even tell her who they are. We'll keep it our little secret and let them get a feel for each other before the truth comes out.

Oh, yeah! She also set up the hammock for me!!!! It's GREAT~

[minimonkey]

Ouch, Cheryl! Take care of that tailbone! Glad to hear that your home is coming along, swing disaster notwithstanding.

I am still in chores mode here, getting the house back in order. I have a big pile of stuff that is going away, as soon as we figure out where and how to dump it!

Rolling along with protocol ... detoxing today, and I have a headache, but that is par for the course, and is half the reason I am doing the protocol right now ... I need the detox.

I'm planning to get on the scale on Sunday, I think, though I reserve the right to change my mind. This time I am aiming for a goal of 105, and I will be perfectly delighted if I can get there and stay there ... that means 103 as a LDW, in a perfect world.

I'm not going to hammer the matter into the ground, though, if my body won't go that low this round.... I'll get as low as I can get with a reasonable effort, and then stabilize. If I want to do another round after that, I will, but only after at least three solid weeks of p3. And I am not going to exceed the 40 days this time, no matter where I land on the scale. Enough is enough, and I am not going to do endless rounds any more!!

[DisneyPrincess]

Wanted to check in. Last day of work and then I'm headed out of town for 3 days. I can't wait. It get lonely here without dh and I'm staying with my BFF. It will be fun and nice to have help.

Feeling fat today. In that awkward stage of pregnancy where I look fat to the outside world and not pregnant yet. Im showing early again as I did mith ds.

[goddesslynne]

Up today...ugh! Not a surprise, since I had a "big hunger" day yesterday, and instead of doing what I knew to do - that is, just muscle through, I gave in to cheese. Yes, cheese, which I haven't eaten for months! What a waste! I'm back where I was 2 weeks ago.

What's wrong with me?

[goddesslynne]

But, good news, I've completed 8 weeks of strength training!! Monday starts the next phase focusing on core strength. I know I've got more muscle...just wish I could get this fat off so I could see them!!

[minimonkey]

Lynne -- whoohoo on the muscle! Strength training is so great, and it is challenging, too! Good for you.

Sorry to hear about the cheese incident... I bet the gain is temporary, though. Those stalls are just so frustrating... I have definitely, definitely been there! Are you losing inches, at least?

There must be something genuinely off in your metabolic processes, Lynne ... you work so hard, and are so strict with your diet, and still the weight is so resistant to budging. I wonder what it is that need fixing? I wonder how you go about fixing it?

I know that strength training and p2 don't mix well for me -- it definitely stalls the scale, and I don't have the stamina to keep it up for very long, either. I need a fair amount of fuel when I am strength training.

I hope that gain drops right back off for you!

[minimonkey]

VLCD 5 in progress here, and so far, I am holding strong. I wasn't starving this morning, which is a miracle in itself, since I generally wake up ravenous, hcg or no.

I've come in a little high calorically for the past couple of days... 600-700 range, which is fine, since I've also been relatively active.

I can tell I am dropping inches, thank goodness -- I still feel stumpy, but a lot less so than a week ago, and that is progress.

I am planning to face the scale on Sunday, and my amazing powers of prognostication tell me that I will likely see a number somewhere around 112 to 114... I'm still a good 8 to 10 lbs above target for this round, I think.

I hope I can start weighing daily without getting obsessive about it... if it looks like it is going that direction, I will just stop weighing again, but continue protocol.

I'd so love for this to just be a 23 day round... that would be lovely! We'll see.

Hope you are all off to a good and productive start to an excellent day!!

[minimonkey]

Lynne -- what program are you using for strength training? Are you doing it on your own, or at a gym/with a trainer? It sounds like you are doing something structured.

Once I hit p3, I am adopting Cathe Friedrich as my personal training guru, and I have a killer weights dvd system that is calling my name! I really need a squat rack to do the system optimally, but it can be done without one, at least for starters. There won't be any disposable income in my near future, so things like exercise equipment will just need to wait for a while, sadly.

I hope I can work up to that by starting the Bar Method next week, but I am trying hard not to push it. My body is still recovering, and I need to honor that. If I need to rest all through the rest of this p2, so be it. I do find it encouraging that I am wanting to work out, though ... that speaks volumes about how much better I am feeling overall

[minimonkey]

Disney -- hope you enjoy your time with your friend!

It'll be exciting when you start showing in earnest, I bet. Can you wear those cute little pregnancy tops and really accentuate the fact that you are pregnant? I would, I think ... pregnant women are so, so beautiful!

[C'Marie]

HELLO MINI!

I am going to do my first "rogue" round, I think, and I am wondering what you think about subbing blueberries for my fruit, one fruit a day, because of inflammation. I can't see me doing strawberries or grapefruit more than once in awhile because of the inflammation index for the arthritis. I like apples ok and I can have those without too much problem. I may also use the milk protein substitute occasionally with nonfat GY. I also have purchased some rye crackers made in Finland so I won't be eating dang GMO wheat. I also have a few backup stashes of non-soy tuna just in case I get stuck. I will use eggwhites as extra protein after hip PT, to help the muscle healing after tearing. Trying to get the rotation back in the hip using the glidecycle (google it to see it, pretty cool).

I know that's not much rogue compared to some but I was curious if the composition of those things sounds reasonable. Thanks for your input!

I had such a hard time stabilizing after my last round in January, and I popped right back up to my "holiday" weight a few weeks ago. I am having horrendous troubles with my hormones/thyroid but I plan on doing an EXTREMELY careful P3 transition. I have vacay in mid-July and will do another round immediately following, especially if I get a little vacay gain.

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by minimonkey

Disney -- hope you enjoy your time with your friend!

It'll be exciting when you start showing in earnest, I bet. Can you wear those cute little pregnancy tops and really accentuate the fact that you are pregnant? I would, I think ... pregnant women are so, so beautiful!

Oh yes, I show off my pregnancy. It's hard not to being so short. Near the end with my son I literally looked like I was about to fall forward! They have some CUTE clothes now too, though I know working from home I'll be in hubby's shirts a lot!

[minimonkey]

C'Marie -- I have always switched up berries with no problems, so I think that would be fine. Do you have a link to a good guide for the inflammation index for foods? I didn't realize that strawberries were high for inflammation, so that would be a good thing for me to check out -- I need to watch that kind of thing, too.

[minimonkey]

The only links I can find list strawberries as anti-inflammatory, but I'd be interested to see your sources...

[C'Marie]

I just go to nutritiondata and look it up. But according to them, strawberries are mild anti-inflammatory 24 but blueberries show as mildly inflammatory 16. That doesn't make sense, it's not what I've been told before. Hmmmmm...... I have been told arthritis-wise that blueberries were the best. Now I don't know what to think. Oy vay. Well, that was the plan, anyway - I guess we'll see. Just simply going on the hcg does take away quite a bit of inflammation. I had also been told oranges/grapefruit (citrus) were inflammatory. Like tomatoes and potatoes, eggplant, etc....

[minimonkey]

It is confusing -- I have seen coconut oil listed as highly inflammatory as well as highly anti inflammatory -- there seems to be no consensus on any of this.

HCG itself is pretty anti-inflammatory, though -- you're right. Grains and refined sugars seem to be the main culprits with inflammation, so I guess we are probably doing pretty well in general terms just by following the protocol for the most part, and being low carb.

I've had a bear of a time with inflammation since working myself half to death over the last few months, and way overtaxing my system.

Good luck with your rogue round! Nice to see you posting here -- I hope you keep on doing it!

[minimonkey]

I am seriously going to lose my mind today -- our phone is shut off due to my partner letting his account get way overdrawn from a fee .. and now I can't find any way to pay it online (he doesn't remember his old email account info, which is all they will accept) -- and the service won't let us call the payment line to make the payment.

I am so tired of all this stupidity and the way we are living -- we're far too broke, and we are in a million big holes that I can't see any way to dig ourselves out of.

I am just going to lie down now and have a good long cry.

I want to just walk away and leave everything behind. Obviously I can't do that, but I am not far from it... I am half considering re-homing the birds, except my two most favorite, selling everything I own, buying a van, packing the two remaining birds into it, and just leaving the known universe.

[minimonkey]

Seems this thread has pretty much died I'm posting over on the Breaking Free round thread, if anyone is interested..... I'll also be posting here, but I am beginning to feel like I am talking to myself more than anything....lol!

I channeled my anger into cleaning and re-organizing the gym, and that has restored my sanity at least a little bit.... and I will take any little bit right now....

[goddesslynne]

Oh mini, I'm so sad for your situatuIon! You've been through the wringer and I can see that this is close to the last straw! Hang in there my friend, I'm sending you my warmest thoughts and virtual hugs!!

[minimonkey]

Thanks, Lynne

I am pretty much at the end of my ability to be strong or tolerant of anything. I'm trying, but I'm sinking into a pretty deep despair. There is only so much one person can handle without snapping, and I am just about there.

I'm going to start looking for some additional work as soon as I get these papers finished being graded... and I have one class in the fall with a prospect of a second, but it is not nearly enough to live on ... we have no insurance, we can't afford rent, I have no car, and the list goes on and on and on.... I really am very close to the point of wanting to make sure that the birds have good homes, and... well, I won't finish that sentence.

[C'Marie]

Mini, I know what it is like to want to RUN. No kidding. Stress gets you in ways you don't even realize when it's happening - sometimes because when it's happening you are just trying to hold it together until suddenly, it's too much. That part seems to happen all at once. I'm truly sorry for your troubles.

I remember looking at the pictures of your art awhile ago, girl - you are very talented. Maybe coming from a tax accountant it doesn't mean much LOL. You always have such a friendly, helpful way, here on the boards and we so appreciate you. I haven't been on much, what with school (finishing my degree at 50!), health problems, family things, and work, but I want you to know that you are one of the posters I look to find when I do make it here. You help make this place the supportive, uplifting sanctuary it is. Please don't forget that.

[minimonkey]

C'Marie -- that brought a big smile to my face -- your post was much needed tonight! Thank you, both for the uplifting words and for understanding what I am going through at the moment.

I did finish my MFA requirements, and my final review was brutal! The final exhibit met with mixed reviews... I can live with that, since I was happy with what I created (even if the work load nearly killed me). Now, I have one more year to go, finishing the written thesis, which I had to push back until next year -- I was just WAY too over-extended to be able to finish it all.

It is cumulative stress that is getting to me, and increasingly frightening levels of poverty ... but I will attempt to have faith, and keep fighting the good fight.

Prayers are much needed and appreciated right now from any of you who are so inclined -- my faith in G-d, and my love for my family and friends and birds, are the only things getting me through the day right now.

[goddesslynne]

Mini, you are an amazingly strong woman, and I have more admiration for you than I can express in a few words! Prayers definitely going up for you and yours!! I know it sounds trite, but the Universe throws stuff our way for a reason...there are no accidents. Somewhere in all this is a huge opportunity. Believe me, I know how terribly hard it is when I'm in the middle of it, I just hope you can keep the faith and find the grace in all this!!

[privatediva]

Mini, hang in there darlin. I will pray for you.

C'Marie, blueberries are on my dr's protocol so whatever you decide there, you'll be fine. David and I both ate them on plan. I did fine using nonfat GY as protein. Kept me sane. I did not use any grains in either round as they were not included on my dr's plan, but I think your rye crackers would be fine if you use them.

[shelbyla]

Originally Posted by C'Marie

Stress gets you in ways you don't even realize when it's happening - sometimes because when it's happening you are just trying to hold it together until suddenly, it's too much.

I'm truly sorry for your troubles.

I remember looking at the pictures of your art awhile ago, girl - you are very talented.

You always have such a friendly, helpful way, here on the boards and we so appreciate you.

I want you to know that you are one of the posters I look to find when I do make it here.

You help make this place the supportive, uplifting sanctuary it is.

Please don't forget that.

As always...what she said! Seriously, Mini, you are one of the lights, and as crappy and dark as you may feel sometimes, your goodness shines through.

[minimonkey]

Thank you a million times, ladies -- I needed your support this week more than I can say!

I like to believe that things happen for a reason, too -- or, at least, that I can find reason in all of the chaos, and come out stronger in the end. It gives me peace knowing that you ladies are praying for me, so thank you!

I'm feeling a bit less dark and gloomy this morning -- I have a lot of challenges ahead of me, and some major figuring-out to do about my long-term life plans, but it feels less overwhelming today -- at least in this moment, it does. Art school not only ran me beyond into-the-ground financially -- it also chewed me up and spit me out, several times over, with the brutal criticism. That's the nature of the program, and I know that -- and it has happened to most of my classmates as well, but I think it has worn me down over time.

I still need to go back for another year of having my writing eviscerated and my ideas mocked in a group setting while I finish my thesis, but the worst of it is over. One thing is for sure -- on the other end of this, I want nothing to do with top-tier, elite institutions ever again, if I can avoid them.

I have come to appreciate my job in the State College system more than I ever imagined possible-- and I have come to detest intellectual and artistic elitism with a fury.

Graduate school shouldn't be a physical and emotional meat grinder, but so many of these places believe that it needs to be that way, if the program is to be seen as 'rigorous' enough. It destroys good, talented people, and promotes a mindset of institutional conformity -- the ones who become clones of their mentors succeed, while others are destroyed. I have a number of choice words I could use to describe that!

[minimonkey]

On another note entirely, it is VLCD 6, and I am sticking to it. Not loving it much, but sticking to near protocol, and the results are definitely happening. I'm plannning to weigh in tomorrow, though I am rather enjoying being off the scale, so long as I can just stick to plan and keep trudging forward.

I'm toying with a fat fast day or two after this weekend, though, and I'd like to know what the scale has to say about that, so I probably will weigh in the morning.

I'm aiming for the minimum round, I think, and then a transition to JUDDD for p3. If I still have weight to lose, maybe I can JUDDD it off -- a lot of former HCGers are doing JUDDD very successfully. I don't plan to have carbs on it, except the occasional low-glycemic fruit, at least for a good while -- but I like the idea of having both structure and some freedom at the same time, and having down days built in to the program removes the punitive feeling of correction days.

[privatediva]

Originally Posted by minimonkey

and I have come to detest intellectual and artistic elitism with a fury.

Graduate school shouldn't be a physical and emotional meat grinder, but so many of these places believe that it needs to be that way, if the program is to be seen as 'rigorous' enough. It destroys good, talented people, and promotes a mindset of institutional conformity -- the ones who become clones of their mentors succeed, while others are destroyed. I have a number of choice words I could use to describe that!

MINI!!! We can be a club!! No kidding...been there, done that, have at least three t-shirts and a hoodie from the place. Conservatories are the same. I was lucky in that my career launched before I finished my bachelor's degree. I sang while I finished it up, then sang while I made babies and have had a nice private studio and pickup jobs here and there as I've raised them...always enough to not feel led to pursue an advanced degree for qualification to teach in one of those places that you describe. Yuck. It's the *most* unartistic, creativity stunting environment imaginable. Get er done and get out. I feel your pain.

[minimonkey]

Diva, you have no idea how much it means to hear you say that -- totally validates what I am feeling. I am sorry you had to endure this as well.... I can't wait to be done with it, and start living in the real world again!