Rogues and Alternatives, week of 12/12

[goddesslynne]

Ah, clothes!!

In junior high my class was the very first that allowed girls to wear pants to school! That was 1974, I think. I graduated HS in '80. In HS we wore gauchos when trying to be truly fashion-y, and Dittos jeans!! I was chubby, but still tried to fit in.

During the '80's I worked in various offices, so I wore skirt suits, bow blouses and hose! And the pointiest pumps I could find!! That was my fashion expression.

'90's I was thin for most of them, so I wore whatever cute clothes I desired. I filled 2 closets back then!!

Since then I've spent a lot of time very fat, wearing long, bias-cut skirts and 3/4 sleeve v-neck blouses (Trinny and Susanna told me to!). I thought I looked ok...somewhere around here on LCF is a before pic of me.

As for the low-cut jeans, I've seen the light and love them!! The trick for me is finding the perfect rise that avoids plumber's butt, and a belt. If they hit just a tiny bit above the hips then the belt holds them on. My problem with the size 10's is that they now need a belt, but I don't have any big enough! I'm not buying a belt!! So, I just keep hitching them up as needed. My work pants are more mom-jeans style, so no worries!! LOL!! I don't care about that, they're white and I wear an apron at work so it doesn't matter.

I'm staying off the scale today, just for one day. I ate 2 L&G meals yesterday, so I don't want to know. Bernice has been here every day, but such a scanty visit!! I tried smooth move tea the other night, but it didn't make much of a difference. I miss the satisfying visits!! (I know, gross)

[catjrow3]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

I think there is a difference between having an eating disorder and disordered eating. I think most people here have disordered eating 100%. Ed's are tricky though because once into the disease it becomes much more of a mind game, like alcoholism.

I too call myself an addict. I'm an all or nothing person. I can't have 1 glass of wine, I need the whole bottle. I can't moderately diet, I need to drastically cut calories. I can't just go run 3 miles, I need to run marathons.

Mental illnesses are so tricky and so hard to narrow down. I do know that once aware life almost becomes harder

And yes Cheryl- you too are such a blessing

This totally me too!! I cant control once I get going, and I was the same way with drinking too, which is why I stopped that too. Same with cigarettes. (if only I could stop eating) I could not smoke a pack a day, I had to continuously smoke, 3-4 packs a day. I could not stop when I could not hold my head up anymore drinking, I had to have "just one more".... I could not do it on special occasions, or occasionally, I did it all the time. If I get into a hobby, I cannot test the water, I have to buy out the store with that "stuff" and then hope I like it, cuz I am going to have everything they ever made to do it with before I even begin it!! When I was seriously into exercise, I could not do it a little, I did it for 2 hours, 2 or 3 times a day!! This is so me too!!

I did not used to have bulimia, but I developed this addiction/disease from my constant dieting... my need to try to get thin. I look at skinny people (bony) and think I want to look like that.. and people look at me strange and say, she is way tooo skinny, anorexic even.. and I dont see that. Now, I know I am not that way yet, but I secretly think I want to look like that, and would I ever be happy if I got there?? But luckily (i suppose) I dont have anorexia, and cannot go that long with starvation without binging.. and eating... but if I ever found the willpower, boy, oh boy, I bet I would become anorexic. And I know all this about myself, and I analyze it, and I control this too, and I can stop the binges after a day or two with guilt and get back on track for a couple weeks, but I cannot stop the entire process completely. I could probably benefit from some counseling, but I tell myself, I would rather wait until I get to goal, cuz I know they are going to make me eat differently, and I wont lose any weight then... UGH.. I am a messed up puppy too!!! So I feel all of you, and I am with you too!!!

[DisneyPrincess]

Hugs Cathy' it sounds like we all suffer to some degree

I made it through cooking making with only one bite of cookie and one lick of frosting. I had to make sure they tasted good right?

I'm feeling bloated and PMSy today. Knew it was coming. Yuck!

[minimonkey]

Wow -- this thread is amazing -- thank you all for the honesty!!!!

I'm up and about to face the scale -- I'll comment more with a mug of theraflu in my hand This darn bug hangs on and on -- not debilitating, but also not going away any too fast. It hit my roommate a lot harder -- she is really down hard with it

Disney -- I think I vote for a new scale for you too -- that would be enough to make me throw the darn thing out the window!!!! Kudos on the smaller pants though -- jeans don't lie (or keep changing their minds!)

[minimonkey]

I stayed exactly the same as yesterday -- always a little strange when that happens. My body is clearly stabilizing after the earlier losses -- and hopefully it will get back to the business of losing again soon -- in the mean time, I'll take some inch loss, please!

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by minimonkey

I stayed exactly the same as yesterday -- always a little strange when that happens. My body is clearly stabilizing after the earlier losses -- and hopefully it will get back to the business of losing again soon -- in the mean time, I'll take some inch loss, please!

I think that's whats happening to me as well. I've been 111.2 for 3 days straight. We'll drop, we just have to hold on!

[tay65]

hello everyone! I don't smoke and rarely drink. I don't like the taste or smell of alcohol. I hate the way it changes people. So I may have a couple beers or a couple glasses of wine, but then I stop.
I'm at 190 today, so still stabalized. I'm eating more fats now and even more carbs. Its been about 2 weeks now, I think.
Drops will come probably Tuesday. Start, or not? I don't know. I have to think on it.

[minimonkey]

It's another high protein day for me today -- tomorrow I may go back to fat fasting, if the scale doesn't budge. Or maybe one more day of protein first -- but I am not worrying about it at the moment -- the inch losses seem to always come best during scale stalls for me, and I know I am due some inch loss

I am aiming to get the calories a little higher for the next couple of days -- closer to 1000-- before the fast on Monday.

[minimonkey]

I wanted to send big hugs to everyone who is struggling -- and also to share this incredible news article that my roommate just shared with me -- this literally made me burst out into tears because it moved me so much.

Anonymous Donors Pay Off Kmart Layaway Accounts | Fox News

[paulabob]

Originally Posted by minimonkey

I wanted to send big hugs to everyone who is struggling -- and also to share this incredible news article that my roommate just shared with me -- this literally made me burst out into tears because it moved me so much.

Anonymous Donors Pay Off Kmart Layaway Accounts | Fox News

OMG, I'm crying too. How special that we still have angels out there.

[minimonkey]

Excellent stabilization Tay!! You are rockin p3!!

Kudos to you for not smoking, and not drinking much -- definitely better for the body.

I am honestly to the point where I could probably never drink again, and not really miss it -- wine hates me (huge migraine trigger -- even white wine) and beer gives me a major hangover, even if I only have a tiny bit of it (sugar and carbs and yeast = bad for me!)

I do like to drink spirits once in a great while, but can happily keep that down to two or three times a year, on special occasions, and leave it at that. And, I do need to be prepared to feel a bit off the following day -- not as much as with wine or beer, but still there is a price to pay...

I have such a low tolerance that even two drinks will leave me feeling off the next day -- I suppose that is a blessing in some ways.

[minimonkey]

I know, Paula -- that article (and things like it) really remind me that there IS still a lot of good in humanity -- it is easy to lose sight of that sometimes when I see all the corruption that goes on so regularly.

That seems to me a true representation of the spirit of Christmas.

[tay65]

I usually don't tell anyone this, but I'll share with you all.
I went to dollar general in my town and handed out $50 bills for an hour last week. Shhhhh I did it kinda secretly. Noone knew who I was bc I was covered up and didn't say a word. The store ppl knew bc I told them what I was going to do in the parking lot. I won't say how much money I gave away, but the look on some of the people's faces was priceless. Some ppl turned it down too. saying they didnt need it. THAT is great!!!! This was my 3rd yr doing it. I save up all yr to do this. So, no, I am NOT wealthy! I love xmas and want to give this time of yr.

[paulabob]

Tammy, that is so sweet! It's amazing how rewarding generosity can be...and how humbling and awesome on the receiving end.

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by tay65

I usually don't tell anyone this, but I'll share with you all.
I went to dollar general in my town and handed out $50 bills for an hour last week. Shhhhh I did it kinda secretly. Noone knew who I was bc I was covered up and didn't say a word. The store ppl knew bc I told them what I was going to do in the parking lot. I won't say how much money I gave away, but the look on some of the people's faces was priceless. Some ppl turned it down too. saying they didnt need it. THAT is great!!!! This was my 3rd yr doing it. I save up all yr to do this. So, no, I am NOT wealthy! I love xmas and want to give this time of yr.

Omg! It's people like you that make this world a better place

[minimonkey]

Tammy!!! Wow -- you are such a hero!!! I love this!!!

[minimonkey]

I was going to try to up the calories today, but I am just not feeling any desire to eat more... so I think I am going to end up somewhere in the 700 range. That's fine.

I'll probably go one more protein day tomorrow, though, since I am not managing to get all that much protein in today (I did have a shake, and some protein powder in my yogurt.) I will opt for eggs and meat tomorrow, rather than protein supplements. I think the body uses them better overall.

Then I will head into fat-fast-ville prior to actually fasting.

Hope you are all having a lovely day

[minimonkey]

Cathy --

I am going to throw out an idea to you -- take it or leave it. You mentioned that the deprivation of the hcg plan is what set off the eating disorder (your terminology) -- so I am really wondering if you should abandon this plan, at least for now.

Have you considered trying going to a low-carb plan for a while, to really get the cravings/carb addiction under control? My gut feeling is that the best thing for you to do is to stabilize and get accustomed to a steady, carb-controlled pattern of eating --- end the binge cycle -- and then try a much less severe plan to get off any weight that you actually need to lose.

Trust me, being super bony and underweight isn't all it appears from the outside -- when I really was anorexic, I couldn't honestly see that I was skinny ... on some level I knew it was true, but when I looked in the mirror, all I saw was more fat to lose. In the process, I lost interest in everything but food, calories, weight -- I lost all my friends and all my passion for life. It definitely was NOT worth it -- but it was the only way I had of feeling in control in my life.

I know now that there were a lot of things that had stripped me of a sense of control, and I totally understand how being anorexic helped me to cope when I had no other means of coping -- but thankfully I now have much better ways of gaining and maintaining control in the areas that really matter.

Eating disorders are different for everyone... but there is one thing that is fairly constant from person to person, and that is a conflict around control -- keeping control, losing control, etc.

Anyhow, take of leave my suggestion, but I hate to see you spiraling into a destructive pattern if there is any way it can be avoided.

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by star a.d.

I wish this board came with like buttons!

I'm ALMOST done all my christmas baking. whew. game plan tomorrow: lots of protein, lots of fat. I'm nervous to weigh. I didn't make awesome choices today...ah well!

No like buttons, but here's the best you can do: Quote the post and edit it down to the parts you want to emphasize (or put the parts in bold or underline), then click . Tada!

Kudo's to you for Christmas baking and staying on-plan!

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

Gah, I want to comment on all see posts here but I only have a minute. I will be back later to comment more

I agree with everyone here in a way. For me personally I know I will always have an eating disorder- and I'm not talking about just disordered eating. I go through starvation periods, I go through binge/purge cycles. Since my son they have been very few, but the demon is still there. And I too can be the same way with alcohol. If I start I have issues stopping and I can go days with drinking or really craving alcohol.

Ok, will comment more when I have time

So scale was super wonky this morning and I don't know what to take of it. I was 109.8 and was like so i stepped on again and it read 111.2 which was the same as the previous 2 days. So I stepped on again and 109.8. Ok, batteries might be going, changed the batteries, 111.2. One more time, 109.8!! so I'm not counting today's weigh in because my scale obviously can't decide! I AM however in my lower size jeans they are a bit tighter than I like but totally wearable. :dancing:

I see what you are saying about ED (erectile disfunction? LMAO) and disordered eating. It makes a lot of sense. I have disordered eating. I've actually tried binge/purge and it wasn't something I could live with.

I hate when scales go berserk! Which number is the right one? Has the force of gravity on the planet changed? Does it fluctuate at just the right (or wrong) times, when we are weighing? I guess the jeans don't lie!

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

This is totally true I think. I honestly don't know what triggered my ED. It started with a diet and got worse and worse until Dh (boyfriend at the time) left for Iraq. Every time he goes I find that I struggle a bit more but nothing actually triggered me. I've been in counseling for 10 years and in rehab twice. No clue. Lol.

Mini said it once and I think she was right-on. We have no control over the big things in life, so we micro-manage the things that we CAN control. It eases our anxiety to have control over "something", even if it's not the "something" we'd prefer. I hope you never need to go into rehab again, Jackie. Lean on us! We can keep each other on the path to sanity. We don't need therapists and Dr's. We have US!

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

I too call myself an addict. I'm an all or nothing person. I can't have 1 glass of wine, I need the whole bottle. I can't moderately diet, I need to drastically cut calories. I can't just go run 3 miles, I need to run marathons.

Mental illnesses are so tricky and so hard to narrow down. I do know that once aware life almost becomes harder
And yes Cheryl- you too are such a blessing

I'm a "whole bottle" girl, too. I don't know about you, but I'm finding this incredibly comforting knowing that we have these common threads running through our lives. So different yet so much alike! (As to the underlined part, why the heck is that? Sometimes I think "ignorance really is bliss.")

Thanks for that vote of blessing, Jackie.

[DisneyPrincess]

I agree mini for ANYONE who thinks they have an obsession/addiction to food. It's the carbs IMO. When I eat lowcarb I'm totally fine. It's when those carbs creep in that I turn to my Ed and can binge and purge for days. I can do hHCG with LC and it keeps me totally in control

[Gremom]

Tammy, you are one special person! Thank you so much for being so generous to people. Just shows there are still good people in this world. My brother sent me that article today. So awesome!

Thank you all for being so open and honest. I am not a smoker nor do I drink. I don't really like the taste and I don't like how it changes people either.

I think we are all addicts. I think that is how God made us. We keep trying to find something that can make us happy and we easily get addicted. I can say at one point, I know I was really addicted to shopping. And when my son was in cloth diapers, I got addicted to those. I still feel like I have a shopping addiction, but I buy groceries now instead of useless items. I really turn it over to God and let Him take control of my life. I believe that is the only way to really get control of our lives. Life isn't easy!

[Gremom]

I am feeling MUCH better today, thankfully. I still can't eat, well chew, much, but I am trying. I just made a big pot of broccoli cheddar soup and pureed it with my stick blender. VERY tasty!

Am down a pound and hope it stays off when I am able to eat more. This has been one of the longest weeks of my life. It was really hard! I feel like such a baby, but gosh, when you can't eat or talk very well, it is tough!

This thread has been great for me to read. You all are so amazing and I am glad to be on this journey with you!

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

See, I don't get that sense of peach from the control anymore, but I do get pride when I succeeded and stick to what I say. Maybe I have something to do with never finishing what I start? hmmm something for me to ponder

(Peace, not peach. I got ya!) OMG, ladies! I am having such epiphanies through reading all our confessions! I thank God we are coming clean here and now. I have problems finishing what I start, too. It's a bipolar thing. "Flight of ideas." Having tons of energy to start in a certain direction but fading away and never getting to the end of the project. I always thought it was related to my fear of failure. If I never completed something, there was always the chance that when I DID finish it, I could get it right! If I went ahead and finished it, most likely it would be flawed.

Originally Posted by paulabob

I do think there is a spectrum, whether it comes to alcoholism or food/ed addiction any addictions. You can know if you're on the precipice and start sliding. Then there are those that wallow till they are almost dead before realizing. 12 step program is nice, but doesn't always address every stage of the problem.

Sending prayers out to all my rogue buddies struggling in any way!

127.2, 4th day in a row. My body does seem to like that number.

I couldn't finish my big breakfast this morning. Going to try to keep calories lower today.

My problem with a 12-step program is in being a Christian. To admit that anything has power over you when you have Christ living within you, that just doesn't "jibe." Ya know what I mean? How can we be powerless over something when all power has been given to us? This is the "sticking point" that keeps leading me back to, "If you are indeed free, you can do this! You can control it." And I still believe that I can, if I stay focused and don't just go into "auto pilot."

Originally Posted by paulabob

I meant to comment earlier, but I'm way behind! I often have pb/chocolate in P2. I take a teaspoon cocoa powder, 1/2 T coconut oil, and one teaspoon peanut butter and heat & mix. Add artificial sweetener and enjoy. It's about 100 calories. I always thought worth it to have something good in P2, or I would have gone crazy!

The key, though, is putting the jar of peanut butter AWAY. There have been a few times I have dived into that jar!

Yummy! I wish I could tolerate VCO but I can't. If I could, I'd be trying that one! Thanks for sharing that recipe, Paula!

Originally Posted by goddesslynne

Ah, clothes!!

In junior high my class was the very first that allowed girls to wear pants to school! That was 1974, I think. I graduated HS in '80. In HS we wore gauchos when trying to be truly fashion-y, and Dittos jeans!! I was chubby, but still tried to fit in.

During the '80's I worked in various offices, so I wore skirt suits, bow blouses and hose! And the pointiest pumps I could find!! That was my fashion expression.

'90's I was thin for most of them, so I wore whatever cute clothes I desired. I filled 2 closets back then!!

Since then I've spent a lot of time very fat, wearing long, bias-cut skirts and 3/4 sleeve v-neck blouses (Trinny and Susanna told me to!). I thought I looked ok...somewhere around here on LCF is a before pic of me.

As for the low-cut jeans, I've seen the light and love them!! The trick for me is finding the perfect rise that avoids plumber's butt, and a belt. If they hit just a tiny bit above the hips then the belt holds them on. My problem with the size 10's is that they now need a belt, but I don't have any big enough! I'm not buying a belt!! So, I just keep hitching them up as needed. My work pants are more mom-jeans style, so no worries!! LOL!! I don't care about that, they're white and I wear an apron at work so it doesn't matter.

I'm staying off the scale today, just for one day. I ate 2 L&G meals yesterday, so I don't want to know. Bernice has been here every day, but such a scanty visit!! I tried smooth move tea the other night, but it didn't make much of a difference. I miss the satisfying visits!! (I know, gross)

I was supposed to graduate in 1980 so we must be the same age, Lynne. It's not gross! The older we get, the more exciting visits from Bernice become! As a nurse, we used to chart that someone was "bowel fixated." Guilty as charged.

Originally Posted by catjrow3

This totally me too!! I cant control once I get going, and I was the same way with drinking too, which is why I stopped that too. Same with cigarettes. (if only I could stop eating) I could not smoke a pack a day, I had to continuously smoke, 3-4 packs a day. I could not stop when I could not hold my head up anymore drinking, I had to have "just one more".... I could not do it on special occasions, or occasionally, I did it all the time. If I get into a hobby, I cannot test the water, I have to buy out the store with that "stuff" and then hope I like it, cuz I am going to have everything they ever made to do it with before I even begin it!! When I was seriously into exercise, I could not do it a little, I did it for 2 hours, 2 or 3 times a day!! This is so me too!!

I did not used to have bulimia, but I developed this addiction/disease from my constant dieting... my need to try to get thin. I look at skinny people (bony) and think I want to look like that.. and people look at me strange and say, she is way tooo skinny, anorexic even.. and I dont see that. Now, I know I am not that way yet, but I secretly think I want to look like that, and would I ever be happy if I got there?? But luckily (i suppose) I dont have anorexia, and cannot go that long with starvation without binging.. and eating... but if I ever found the willpower, boy, oh boy, I bet I would become anorexic. And I know all this about myself, and I analyze it, and I control this too, and I can stop the binges after a day or two with guilt and get back on track for a couple weeks, but I cannot stop the entire process completely. I could probably benefit from some counseling, but I tell myself, I would rather wait until I get to goal, cuz I know they are going to make me eat differently, and I wont lose any weight then... UGH.. I am a messed up puppy too!!! So I feel all of you, and I am with you too!!!

WOW! I never related this "trait" of mine to all of the other symptoms I have, but I do the same exact thing with regard to hobbies. I was just getting into cross-stitching and I bought every known accessory, all the patterns that appealed to me on that one day, a special case for the threads, etc. I've yet to complete a project or even put a dent into one. That was years ago.

I've done the same with buying video and camera equipment and software to edit pics and video, even making business cards (intending to make a business for myself.) The last one (that I can remember at the moment) was I was into watching Gold Prospector's Association on Cable TV and I joined and got all the supplies I thought I'd need to get going in gold prospecting. I've yet to get any water in my gold pan, but I'm ready!

OMG, ladies! Look at how much we have in common! Maybe we can compare notes like this and really come up with some collective answers as to why we do the things we do! No amount of money or hours in private therapy sessions can give us what we can collectively learn here amongst ourselves. Let's figure this out! Let's leave these behaviors behind us, once and for all!

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by minimonkey

Wow -- this thread is amazing -- thank you all for the honesty!!!!

I'm up and about to face the scale -- I'll comment more with a mug of theraflu in my hand This darn bug hangs on and on -- not debilitating, but also not going away any too fast. It hit my roommate a lot harder -- she is really down hard with it

Disney -- I think I vote for a new scale for you too -- that would be enough to make me throw the darn thing out the window!!!! Kudos on the smaller pants though -- jeans don't lie (or keep changing their minds!)

I'm sorry you are both still under the weather. I hope this thing leaves you for good very soon! May the new year be a healthy and happy one for everyone in your household.

Originally Posted by tay65

hello everyone! I don't smoke and rarely drink. I don't like the taste or smell of alcohol. I hate the way it changes people. So I may have a couple beers or a couple glasses of wine, but then I stop.
I'm at 190 today, so still stabalized. I'm eating more fats now and even more carbs. Its been about 2 weeks now, I think.
Drops will come probably Tuesday. Start, or not? I don't know. I have to think on it.

You'll figure it out, Tammy! I'm glad you find smoking and drinking distasteful. I have family members who didn't inherit that familial desire to be naughty, but I'm not one of them. We each have our "cross to bear."

Originally Posted by minimonkey

I wanted to send big hugs to everyone who is struggling -- and also to share this incredible news article that my roommate just shared with me -- this literally made me burst out into tears because it moved me so much.

Anonymous Donors Pay Off Kmart Layaway Accounts | Fox News

That's so fantastic! That's what I'm talking about! Anonymous giving is the best thing EVER! God bless those people and all others like them! May they be blessed so they can continue to be a blessing!

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by tay65

I usually don't tell anyone this, but I'll share with you all.
I went to dollar general in my town and handed out $50 bills for an hour last week. Shhhhh I did it kinda secretly. Noone knew who I was bc I was covered up and didn't say a word. The store ppl knew bc I told them what I was going to do in the parking lot. I won't say how much money I gave away, but the look on some of the people's faces was priceless. Some ppl turned it down too. saying they didnt need it. THAT is great!!!! This was my 3rd yr doing it. I save up all yr to do this. So, no, I am NOT wealthy! I love xmas and want to give this time of yr.

Rock on, Woman! Now don't tell anybody else! It's our little secret!

[catjrow3]

Originally Posted by CherylB

OMG, ladies! Look at how much we have in common! Maybe we can compare notes like this and really come up with some collective answers as to why we do the things we do! No amount of money or hours in private therapy sessions can give us what we can collectively learn here amongst ourselves. Let's figure this out! Let's leave these behaviors behind us, once and for all!

I am game for any ideas!!

Minimo, I have tried that too, but for some reason my brain still pulls back to the carbs, and I then I shoot up like a rocket in weight (swelling from eating the carbs/sugar) and then I am blimp again. HCG is about the only thing that helps me get rid of it quicker. I try low carb, atkins, low fat, stillmans, etc etc etc... UGH! I hate dieting and I hate this process and wish I could get a grip on it and lose like a normal person! I am not exercising right now either, as I was doing that to an extreme too...

[minimonkey]

Gremom-- huge healing hugs! I am grateful to have you on this journey -- as well as all these other wonderful, strong women!

Oh, yes, shopping. That's one place I can spiral really out of control if I don't watch myself -- I've gotten a lot better over the years, but I definitely have an old message of material gifts = love and I still resort to that to fill up emptiness sometimes.

Being genuinely poor these past few years has helped me realize how little the incidental things mean, and helped me learn to appreciate a roof over my head, my basic living needs met, etc.

[minimonkey]

Ladies -- I am getting behind with all these posts -- trying to catch up now.... this is awesome! I love this conversation!

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

I agree mini for ANYONE who thinks they have an obsession/addiction to food. It's the carbs IMO. When I eat lowcarb I'm totally fine. It's when those carbs creep in that I turn to my Ed and can binge and purge for days. I can do hHCG with LC and it keeps me totally in control

It really IS the carbs! I totally believe that. I am fine when eating an Atkins type plan. Alcohol is burned like a carb in the body, so it all plays hand-in-hand with a carb addiction. I am LOVING this thread! We are really learning some great lessons and getting great insights lately! I wish this could become a sticky thread!

Originally Posted by Gremom

I am feeling MUCH better today, thankfully. I still can't eat, well chew, much, but I am trying. I just made a big pot of broccoli cheddar soup and pureed it with my stick blender. VERY tasty!

Am down a pound and hope it stays off when I am able to eat more. This has been one of the longest weeks of my life. It was really hard! I feel like such a baby, but gosh, when you can't eat or talk very well, it is tough!

This thread has been great for me to read. You all are so amazing and I am glad to be on this journey with you!

Yippee on being down a lb! The Broccoli/cheddar soup sounds so yummy! I hope you feel radically better soon!

Originally Posted by Gremom

Thank you all for being so open and honest. I am not a smoker nor do I drink. I don't really like the taste and I don't like how it changes people either.

I think we are all addicts. I think that is how God made us. We keep trying to find something that can make us happy and we easily get addicted. I can say at one point, I know I was really addicted to shopping. And when my son was in cloth diapers, I got addicted to those. I still feel like I have a shopping addiction, but I buy groceries now instead of useless items. I really turn it over to God and let Him take control of my life. I believe that is the only way to really get control of our lives. Life isn't easy!

I think addictions stem from our need to try to fill a void. I think that void was created when we turned away from God and looked to the world for our comfort and our needs. We can never fill that void with anything other than God, and yet we try. It's pointless but at some point (if we finally wake up), we see that only He can fill our emptiness. (Merry Christmas! Stepping off the pulpit now.)

[Gremom]

Originally Posted by minimonkey

Gremom-- huge healing hugs! I am grateful to have you on this journey -- as well as all these other wonderful, strong women!

Oh, yes, shopping. That's one place I can spiral really out of control if I don't watch myself -- I've gotten a lot better over the years, but I definitely have an old message of material gifts = love and I still resort to that to fill up emptiness sometimes.

Being genuinely poor these past few years has helped me realize how little the incidental things mean, and helped me learn to appreciate a roof over my head, my basic living needs met, etc.

What I bolded is so true for me too. It totally stinks. Having kids is what has reigned in my spending. Everything we have goes to them.

Thanks for the hugs! So glad to be feeling like myself again...well almost!