3.2 lbs til ONEderland - will I make it? - Page 4

Susiecarbojunkie · 07-15-2011, 08:34 AM

OMG--I gotta go weigh myself

'cuz I think I just tinkled a little bit.....:blush:

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

LOL! I'm from Bay Shore myself! ....... do you know if Fire Island is accessible by car during off-season?!

Hey :-)
Sorry, don't know.
I'm still another hour and a half east of there - so I don't get up there much.
I hear it's very pretty there though!

LilacBruze · 07-15-2011, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Susiecarbojunkie

OMG--I gotta go weigh myself

'cuz I think I just tinkled a little bit.....:blush:

Dreamchaser · 07-15-2011, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

That is a GREAT idea!

Yeah, I even surprised myself with that one!

Dreamchaser · 07-15-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Susiecarbojunkie

OMG--I gotta go weigh myself

'cuz I think I just tinkled a little bit.....:blush:

Too funny!

shelbyla · 07-15-2011, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

Yes. And sometimes waiting, and waiting. I wake up at 6am usually, and go tinkle right away. If I don't like what the scale says, I will wait to go tinkle again, and even again - sometimes up to 2 hours later - before recording my weight in my spreadsheet.

Ok, so I get the naked, after peeing (do outlaws pee? just checking...

), remove jewlery (or hair ties in my case--because those are HEAVY!), but how about THIS... Every morning. I get up, pee, then give myself a stomach massage to encourage Bernice. (It works about 90% of the time.) Only AFTER she shows, do I weigh myself. Those days that she doesn't make an appearance, I wait until as late as possible to weigh. And sometimes give her another chance with ANOTHER ab massage!

I do not, however, limit my water. If I'm thirsty, I drink. So who gets the crazy tree award?

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

Red... seriously... you kill me!

Agree. We love us some Red around here!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

I admit, I had to google him. Semi-reformed headbanger here. But um, yes! Yummy!

MUCH easier on the eyes than Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, or Maynard James Keenan! Whose music I love but who are all ugly as sin!

Also semi-reformed headbanger here.

But went out on a limb and dated a redneck last year who took me to a TA concert. Oh my...tall...built...and yummy. And totally agree about MM and Maynard although I think under all that facial hair, RZ is actually quite decent looking. It's just been so long since anyone has actually seen his face that it's hard to tell...

Just my 47 cents...

TerriMM · 07-15-2011, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbyla

Ok, so I get the naked, after peeing (do outlaws pee? just checking...

), remove jewlery (or hair ties in my case--because those are HEAVY!), but how about THIS... Every morning. I get up, pee, then give myself a stomach massage to encourage Bernice. (It works about 90% of the time.) Only AFTER she shows, do I weigh myself. Those days that she doesn't make an appearance, I wait until as late as possible to weigh. And sometimes give her another chance with ANOTHER ab massage!

I do not, however, limit my water. If I'm thirsty, I drink. So who gets the crazy tree award?

Just my 47 cents...

Okay Red, I want to hear about the massages for Aunt B on the Lovin' this forum thread.

And yeah, she's been getting massages at my house for years

dazygyrl · 07-15-2011, 12:31 PM

yes! aunt b massage tutorial, please, shelby. aunt b only visits me AFTER i drink coffee and i always weigh first thing in the morning then have coffee. soooo....give it up chickie! tell us your secrets.

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 12:45 PM

No - You have the wrong female in this crazy tree! That's Shelby!

But - I totally understand, because from a literary sense, (and possibly mental health perspective...) we ARE a tad bit similar!!

So - serve it up Shelby! Let's hear about the "Dear Aunt Bernice, please come out.." massage!

TerriMM · 07-15-2011, 12:59 PM

Okay (you asked for it)
One lady was complaining to her friend about not being able to have a bowel movement. Her friend asked her if she ever kneaded her bowels to get things moving. The other lady answered, appalled, "of course I need them". They instantly realized the misunderstanding and burst out laughing, shaking things so much that the first lady had to run to the bathroom and finally found relief.
So songs, poetry, massage.

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 01:04 PM

Oh damn, now I have to go pee like an outlaw.

shelbyla · 07-15-2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedL.I.

No - You have the wrong female in this crazy tree! That's Shelby!

But - I totally understand, because from a literary sense, (and possibly mental health perspective...) we ARE a tad bit similar!!

So - serve it up Shelby! Let's hear about the "Dear Aunt Bernice, please come out.." massage!

So I know the needing/kneading thing was a joke (and a funny one, really!

) but I am dead serious about the Aunt Bernice massage. Here's how you do it.

- Lay on your back on a flat, hard surface like the floor (i.e. the bed won't work)
- Place the tips of the fingers of both hands about 2 inches above your belly button (the fingertips should "face" each other, if that makes sense--the fingertips touching)
- Press down firmly
- Without lifting your fingers, move your fingers in small clockwise circles for about 10 seconds
- Move your fingers about an inch over and an inch down and repeat the circles for 10 seconds
- Move over and down another inch and repeat
- Keeping moving your fingers around and doing the circles until you have circled your entire lower abdomen and are back at your bellybutton

Within 10-20 mins, Aunt Bernice will come knocking.

LilacBruze · 07-15-2011, 02:04 PM

I see y'all have just been having a GRAND OLE time while I've been away!

Being an outlaw ain't so bad. I've been peeing like crazy today. I have drank well over 80 oz of water so far. I even made a homemade Frappachino coffee drink with one TB of half & half and 1 TB of sf white chocolate Da Vinci. I had an omelet today with spinach and mushroom and the puppy got the extra egg yolks. Hey, I said I was going outlaw! That's not exactly rogue lol. I had to celebrate/commiserate VLCD70 and throwing my silly rituals out the window!

Also, wouldn't ya know it. The ONE day I don't hope and pray that Bernice will visit, she visited TWICE!

Dreamchaser · 07-15-2011, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbyla

So I know the needing/kneading thing was a joke (and a funny one, really!

) but I am dead serious about the Aunt Bernice massage. Here's how you do it.

- Lay on your back on a flat, hard surface like the floor (i.e. the bed won't work)
- Place the tips of the fingers of both hands about 2 inches above your belly button (the fingertips should "face" each other, if that makes sense--the fingertips touching)
- Press down firmly
- Without lifting your fingers, move your fingers in small clockwise circles for about 10 seconds
- Move your fingers about an inch over and an inch down and repeat the circles for 10 seconds
- Move over and down another inch and repeat
- Keeping moving your fingers around and doing the circles until you have circled your entire lower abdomen and are back at your bellybutton

Within 10-20 mins, Aunt Bernice will come knocking.

Love this, gotta try it!

shelbyla · 07-15-2011, 02:14 PM

It's kind of like the lasering thing...it takes two minutes, doesn't cost anything, and can't hurt...

TerriMM · 07-15-2011, 02:15 PM

You know I've been doing my own form for years, after hearing that joke, with great success. Can't wait to try it the right way for the first time tomorrow.

And the picture of all of us lying on the floor rubbing our tummies in unison tomorrow is just too funny, I don't care who you are!

Dreamchaser · 07-15-2011, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

I see y'all have just been having a GRAND OLE time while I've been away!

Being an outlaw ain't so bad. I've been peeing like crazy today. I have drank well over 80 oz of water so far. I even made a homemade Frappachino coffee drink with one TB of half & half and 1 TB of sf white chocolate Da Vinci. I had an omelet today with spinach and mushroom and the puppy got the extra egg yolks. Hey, I said I was going outlaw! That's not exactly rogue lol. I had to celebrate/commiserate VLCD70 and throwing my silly rituals out the window!

Also, wouldn't ya know it. The ONE day I don't hope and pray that Bernice will visit, she visited TWICE!

That omelet sounds yummy. I've been thinking about a spinach omelet myself!

I just love your new, VLCD70, outlaw, less stress attitude!!!

Dreamchaser · 07-15-2011, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelbyla

It's kind of like the lasering thing...it takes two minutes, doesn't cost anything, and can't hurt...

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerriMM

And the picture of all of us lying on the floor rubbing our tummies in unison tomorrow is just too funny, I don't care who you are!

LilacBruze · 07-15-2011, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerriMM

And the picture of all of us lying on the floor rubbing our tummies in unison tomorrow is just too funny, I don't care who you are!

It will be the groan heard 'round the world!

LilacBruze · 07-15-2011, 02:26 PM

In fact, we should all synchronize our watches now!

TerriMM · 07-15-2011, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilacBruze

I see y'all have just been having a GRAND OLE time while I've been away!

Being an outlaw ain't so bad. I've been peeing like crazy today. I have drank well over 80 oz of water so far. I even made a homemade Frappachino coffee drink with one TB of half & half and 1 TB of sf white chocolate Da Vinci. I had an omelet today with spinach and mushroom and the puppy got the extra egg yolks. Hey, I said I was going outlaw! That's not exactly rogue lol. I had to celebrate/commiserate VLCD70 and throwing my silly rituals out the window!

Also, wouldn't ya know it. The ONE day I don't hope and pray that Bernice will visit, she visited TWICE!

Okay I have to slow down while I'm reading. I got "outlaw, water, peeing, omelet with spinach, mushrooms and puppy". WHAT THE ....!?!?!?!?! Outlaw hell, she's gone over.

Perhaps I'm getting a little Friday punchy

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerriMM

Okay I have to slow down while I'm reading. I got "outlaw, water, peeing, omelet with spinach, mushrooms and puppy". WHAT THE ....!?!?!?!?! Outlaw hell, she's gone over.

Perhaps I'm getting a little Friday punchy

Okay - here's the real story,

A coupla of the gals and me want to know how to get Bernice to visit - but we sometimes get distracted, and so when the stress of planning how to rob a major Las Vegas casino gets to be too much, we drink a gallon of water, and then we have to pee like.....um....Jesse James - you know, after his gender re-assignment surgery.

Now - about the omelet - well - I'll let someone else fill you in. Just stop cooking around the puppy mill - okay?

PS: the "puppy" word caught me too.
Hey - we have to get Verb-queen in here for some team creative writing.

verbqueen · 07-15-2011, 02:55 PM

Don't look at me--I'm not with the creative department! I'm just a red-pen gal!

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 03:00 PM

Ok, wait. Shelby, I have a question.

So, imagine I have a steak day. Now, don't I need to know exactly WHERE to target this massage? I mean, if I don't eat all day, and then I have a steak, isn't there some sort of principle of digestive timelines here? And, if i eat the steak at 4pm, don't I have to target a different area than if I wolf it at 11pm?

(I'm imagining the big lump in Sammy the snake after he has a hamster lunch) It has to work it's way down there, ya know?

(Ok - that's enough for me. I have to get out of this house and get a drink)

TerriMM · 07-15-2011, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedL.I.

Ok, wait. Shelby, I have a question.

So, imagine I have a steak day. Now, don't I need to know exactly WHERE to target this massage? I mean, if I don't eat all day, and then I have a steak, isn't there some sort of principle of digestive timelines here? And, if i eat the steak at 4pm, don't I have to target a different area than if I wolf it at 11pm?

(I'm imagining the big lump in Sammy the snake after he has a hamster lunch) It has to work it's way down there, ya know?

(Ok - that's enough for me. I have to get out of this house and get a drink)

You mean you haven't been drinking this entire time?

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 04:05 PM

No - I NEED to - that's the thing. You are reading STRESS. (it's like venting - but with aimless crazy talk; very therapeutic!)
PS: I just totally cleaned, washed and vacuumed my car. It did not help. Hubbys out of town and I never learned to drink at home - and if I went out with this level of stress, can you imagine the possible hazards?

shelbyla · 07-15-2011, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedL.I.

Ok, wait. Shelby, I have a question.

So, imagine I have a steak day. Now, don't I need to know exactly WHERE to target this massage? I mean, if I don't eat all day, and then I have a steak, isn't there some sort of principle of digestive timelines here? And, if i eat the steak at 4pm, don't I have to target a different area than if I wolf it at 11pm?

(I'm imagining the big lump in Sammy the snake after he has a hamster lunch) It has to work it's way down there, ya know?

(Ok - that's enough for me. I have to get out of this house and get a drink)

That's why you massage the WHOLE abdomen. As they say in yoga (wind-removing pose--seriously), right colon, left colon, transverse colon...

TerriMM · 07-15-2011, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedL.I.

No - I NEED to - that's the thing. You are reading STRESS. (it's like venting - but with aimless crazy talk; very therapeutic!)
PS: I just totally cleaned, washed and vacuumed my car. It did not help. Hubbys out of town and I never learned to drink at home - and if I went out with this level of stress, can you imagine the possible hazards?

Sorry to hear

Hubby gone, sex is out......how about exercise? Long walk, pilates, go to a book store to get a new work out CD? Call an old freind? Play with us some more on-line?

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerriMM

Sorry to hear

Hubby gone, sex is out......how about exercise? Long walk, pilates, go to a book store to get a new work out CD? Call an old freind? Play with us some more on-line?

You are so sweet :-) Part of the problem, you see is that I am cooped up in the house and ill with something that is similar to malaria. (Babesiosis) Normally, I travel half the time, and I like to go-go-go!! Given the option, I would work all day and dance all night! I just had to cancel yet another conference management job; so this is my seventh week home. Still can't exercise. Been reading like crazy, (I highly recommend Benjamin Franklin's autobiography, by the way, THAT guy is a genius and funny!), as well as funny mystery novels.

I AM NOT A STAY AT HOME GIRL!! But - apparently....I don't run the universe.

So...that's why I have vented the craziness here of late. My life now, in this tiny house, in this little town, so far from Las Vegas, so polar opposite from working all day and dancing all night on the strip - (not, you know, for money...) - well, it's different.

So thanks for keeping me company while I learn the process of making lemonade from lemons. :-)

RedsSkinnyJeans · 07-15-2011, 05:26 PM

PS: Has anyone else noticed that no matter which topic the thread starts with, we seem to always find a way to wind it back around to Bernice? What's up with that?

07-15-2011, 12:31 PM	#98
dazygyrl Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 4,521 Gallery: dazygyrl	yes! aunt b massage tutorial, please, shelby. aunt b only visits me AFTER i drink coffee and i always weigh first thing in the morning then have coffee. soooo....give it up chickie! tell us your secrets. Last edited by dazygyrl; 07-15-2011 at 12:55 PM..

07-15-2011, 02:04 PM	#103
LilacBruze Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 1,595 Gallery: LilacBruze Stats: 290/172.6/160 WOE: hHCG Simeons Protocol	I see y'all have just been having a GRAND OLE time while I've been away! Being an outlaw ain't so bad. I've been peeing like crazy today. I have drank well over 80 oz of water so far. I even made a homemade Frappachino coffee drink with one TB of half & half and 1 TB of sf white chocolate Da Vinci. I had an omelet today with spinach and mushroom and the puppy got the extra egg yolks. Hey, I said I was going outlaw! That's not exactly rogue lol. I had to celebrate/commiserate VLCD70 and throwing my silly rituals out the window! Also, wouldn't ya know it. The ONE day I don't hope and pray that Bernice will visit, she visited TWICE! __________________ Total loss on 1st round of P2: 49.0 lbs Total loss on 2nd round of P2: 30.6 lbs Last edited by LilacBruze; 07-15-2011 at 02:06 PM..

07-15-2011, 04:05 PM	#116
RedsSkinnyJeans Major LCF Poster! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 1,001 Gallery: RedsSkinnyJeans Stats: 170/144/140 Start Date: 4/1/11	No - I NEED to - that's the thing. You are reading STRESS. (it's like venting - but with aimless crazy talk; very therapeutic!) PS: I just totally cleaned, washed and vacuumed my car. It did not help. Hubbys out of town and I never learned to drink at home - and if I went out with this level of stress, can you imagine the possible hazards? Last edited by RedsSkinnyJeans; 07-15-2011 at 04:08 PM..

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07-15-2011, 08:34 AM	#91
Susiecarbojunkie Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Deep in the Heart of Texas Posts: 940 Gallery: Susiecarbojunkie Stats: 293/147/145-135 WOE: Atkins '72/hHCG Start Date: re-start April 2010	OMG--I gotta go weigh myself 'cuz I think I just tinkled a little bit.....:blush:

07-15-2011, 12:45 PM	#99
RedsSkinnyJeans Major LCF Poster! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 1,001 Gallery: RedsSkinnyJeans Stats: 170/144/140 Start Date: 4/1/11	No - You have the wrong female in this crazy tree! That's Shelby! But - I totally understand, because from a literary sense, (and possibly mental health perspective...) we ARE a tad bit similar!! So - serve it up Shelby! Let's hear about the "Dear Aunt Bernice, please come out.." massage!

07-15-2011, 12:59 PM	#100
TerriMM Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,410 Gallery: TerriMM Start Date: 5/18/11	Okay (you asked for it) One lady was complaining to her friend about not being able to have a bowel movement. Her friend asked her if she ever kneaded her bowels to get things moving. The other lady answered, appalled, "of course I need them". They instantly realized the misunderstanding and burst out laughing, shaking things so much that the first lady had to run to the bathroom and finally found relief. So songs, poetry, massage.

07-15-2011, 01:04 PM	#101
RedsSkinnyJeans Major LCF Poster! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 1,001 Gallery: RedsSkinnyJeans Stats: 170/144/140 Start Date: 4/1/11	Oh damn, now I have to go pee like an outlaw.

07-15-2011, 02:14 PM	#105
shelbyla Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,673 Gallery: shelbyla Stats: 210/141/140 WOE: hhCG, rx hCG Start Date: rx hCG R5 start 08/11/12	It's kind of like the lasering thing...it takes two minutes, doesn't cost anything, and can't hurt...

07-15-2011, 02:15 PM	#106
TerriMM Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,410 Gallery: TerriMM Start Date: 5/18/11	You know I've been doing my own form for years, after hearing that joke, with great success. Can't wait to try it the right way for the first time tomorrow. And the picture of all of us lying on the floor rubbing our tummies in unison tomorrow is just too funny, I don't care who you are!

07-15-2011, 02:26 PM	#110
LilacBruze Major LCF Poster! Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 1,595 Gallery: LilacBruze Stats: 290/172.6/160 WOE: hHCG Simeons Protocol	In fact, we should all synchronize our watches now!

07-15-2011, 02:55 PM	#113
verbqueen Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 4,658 Gallery: verbqueen Stats: 224/163 WOE: hhcg, VLCD12	Don't look at me--I'm not with the creative department! I'm just a red-pen gal!

07-15-2011, 03:00 PM	#114
RedsSkinnyJeans Major LCF Poster! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 1,001 Gallery: RedsSkinnyJeans Stats: 170/144/140 Start Date: 4/1/11	Ok, wait. Shelby, I have a question. So, imagine I have a steak day. Now, don't I need to know exactly WHERE to target this massage? I mean, if I don't eat all day, and then I have a steak, isn't there some sort of principle of digestive timelines here? And, if i eat the steak at 4pm, don't I have to target a different area than if I wolf it at 11pm? (I'm imagining the big lump in Sammy the snake after he has a hamster lunch) It has to work it's way down there, ya know? (Ok - that's enough for me. I have to get out of this house and get a drink)

07-15-2011, 05:26 PM	#120
RedsSkinnyJeans Major LCF Poster! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 1,001 Gallery: RedsSkinnyJeans Stats: 170/144/140 Start Date: 4/1/11	PS: Has anyone else noticed that no matter which topic the thread starts with, we seem to always find a way to wind it back around to Bernice? What's up with that?