OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

[Zbunny]

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

[shelbyla]

Originally Posted by Zbunny

Glad you got a giggle! Tell that boy to be nice to you or else you'll sic the lot of us on him. Don't be mean to our Shelby!

Twinsies!

Yeah! I'm smart, I have wonderful bones, great eyes and I dress really interestingly... He doesn't deserve me!

[Zbunny]

Originally Posted by shelbyla

Yeah! I'm smart, I have wonderful bones, great eyes and I dress really interestingly... He doesn't deserve me!

Somebody's been watching her new copy of A Fish Called Wanda!

Look, it's Kkk-Ken, c-c-c-c-coming to kkkk-kill me! How are you gonna ccc-catch me, kkk-Ken?

[shelbyla]

What's this one's name? Well, not Wanda anyway. I'm going to call her Lunch. Hello Lunch. Hello. Eeeew...avoid the green ones. They're not ripe yet...

[Zbunny]

Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?

Otto West: Apes don't read philosophy.

Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

[Charms]

Archie: Your brother didn't bring you here this time, did he?
Wanda: No.
Archie: He's no idea?
Wanda: He doesn't have a clue.
Archie: What?
Wanda: He's so dumb...
Archie: Really?
Wanda: ...he thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived."

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

Shel,
Wish I had more time - but this will have to do for now - it encapsulates my thoughts:

stupid men jokes, jokes about men being stupid

Busy weekend - and I'm feeling better!!
Will have more news on Monday.
Miss you all.
I'm very proud of us. :-)

[shelbyla]

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.

Bahahahahahahahahahaha...ahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[shelbyla]

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.



What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
Straight through the rib cage.



Thanks Red!

[shelbyla]

And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of ..... to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, is the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their effing arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment? Bollocks. What they want is filth: people doing things to each other with chainsaws during tupperware parties, babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates, vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats. Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

From the graphic imagination department of Red's World.....we thank you :-)

[shelbyla]

Red, I must digress from the silliness for just a moment... O.M.G I just made your creamed spinach. WHY HAVE I NEVER HAD CREAMED SPINACH BEFORE?????? To.Die.For. O.M.G. you are a genius.

But then we already knew that...didn't we? And I guess if we are quintuplets (or are we up to sextuplets at this point?), that makes us all geniuses! Now, back to our regularly scheduled program...

I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo...

[shelbyla]

I'm like a junkie...I NEED this thread...

God: What are you doing now?
King Arthur: Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
God: Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing. Now knock it off!

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

Hello every-twin!! (And the more the merrier I say!)

Long weekend is over. Company is gone. Ok - what's the topic here.
Silliness?

I have to go hunt - I am SURE someone started a new thread for us P3/P4's right?

I miss you guys!!! I have stuff to report!!

[porkfatrules]

Red -- welcome back! We missed you!

I posted, JUST FOR YOU, my Bernice e-mail (which turned into more of a serenade/medley -- but it's on the old P3 thread.

more later --

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

ROFLMAO.

Hahahaha

It didn't get it's own thread? Wait...where is it?

Can a girl get a link?

[porkfatrules]

What . . . "Ode To Bernice?"

So far, she's still playing hard to get. I don't know if she's even listening to my songs. I may have to resort to, I don't know, bribery? "Hey Bernice, ten bucks if you come to my house. Did I say ten? I mean one hundred . . ."

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

LOL - I'm tellin' ya - we gotta start an "Ode to Bernice" thread. :-)

I didn't see where you posted it. "Old P3 thread"?

[porkfatrules]

Yup -- near the end of the P3 6/20 thread

[shelbyla]

WHAT??!! No tongue piercing??? If I can get a new tattoo, you can get your tongue pierced...

[porkfatrules]

Porkfat to Red . . . Porkfat to Red . . . come in, Red!

OK, since you weren't satisfied with my Ode To Bernice, I tried poetry this time. It's in the 6/27 P3 thread . . . JUST FOR YOU!

And, step away from the piercing gun!

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

Oh - MAN - late to the party. I gotta be more attentive to this thread!!!

I was a cleaning-twirling-dervish all day yesterday. Trying to take it easier today - hence more time on the internet.

Have I mentioned? Today? I'm so glad ya'll are here. :-)

[Zbunny]

Had to bump this thread because DH turned on the TV while I was in the other room, and the first thing I heard was, "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. (Then Wesley): "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die." LOL! I had to come out and watch the rest of it with him. Of course, we own it, so we could watch it anytime, but for some reason when one of our faves comes on TV we just have to stop and watch it.

[metqa]

Originally Posted by RedL.I.

I will say: "I don't care coconut boy, because I fit into SLIM size 9 jeans! See? Look at my ass! It all fits in there! How cool is that?!" hahahahahaha

That is SO Dang Cool, I've got chills!! Congratulations You Skinny Thang You!

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

Originally Posted by Zbunny

Had to bump this thread because DH turned on the TV while I was in the other room, and the first thing I heard was, "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. (Then Wesley): "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die." LOL! I had to come out and watch the rest of it with him. Of course, we own it, so we could watch it anytime, but for some reason when one of our faves comes on TV we just have to stop and watch it.

I do that with this movie and Forrest Gump.

Hey, I went to a nearby outdoor place that has a band on the wharf on weekend afternoons. I got out there for a dance and the singer changed the words of one song to insert: "I love your a$$"!! No joke! THANK YOU HCG - for giving me my 20-something a$$ back!!!

[Zbunny]

Originally Posted by RedL.I.

I do that with this movie and Forrest Gump.

Hey, I went to a nearby outdoor place that has a band on the wharf on weekend afternoons. I got out there for a dance and the singer changed the words of one song to insert: "I love your a$$"!! No joke! THANK YOU HCG - for giving me my 20-something a$$ back!!!

I love it! I love him! I love hcg! I love your a$$ and I've never seen it!

Have an a$$-shaking Fourth of July, Red, and ALL my twinsies!

[CarrieZohn]

And my all time favorite:

ARTHUR: Look, you stupid *******, you've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[bang]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
[whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs!
Have at you! Come on then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

Originally Posted by Zbunny

I love it! I love him! I love hcg! I love your a$$ and I've never seen it!

Have an a$$-shaking Fourth of July, Red, and ALL my twinsies!

Yes ma'am!!!



Love all my twinsies here!!!



Carrie I love that one too!! :-)

[porkfatrules]

OK, can I tell a great Monty Python tale? True story --

Many years ago, my five girlfriends and I were traveling in Florence. We get to a museum, and get to a room full of very old religious art. There are dark paintings all over the walls, most of them depicting the crucifixion and some saints being martyred, with much realism and bloodiness. In front of one particularly gory painting, I'm with one friend and, in a fit of goofiness, I look at her and say, "I am the Knight Who Says Ni!" She starts to giggle, then I start to giggle, and pretty soon all the tourists and museum guards are giving us the Evil Eye. (Giggling in front of a bunch of religious paintings? Heretics!!) So, we're trying hard to stifle our giggles, and this is just making it worse . . . we're bright red and trying hard to get calm, and can barely breathe. The other girls walk over to see why we're turning colors and why the German tourists are glaring at us . . . I gaspingly say, "It's the Knights Who Say Ni . . . " --- without missing a beat, one of my other girlfriends says, "Come back, coward, it's only a flesh wound!" We burst into loud gales of laughter and had to leave the room, fast!

[RedsSkinnyJeans]

That was extraordinarily easy to visualize.