Underlying Issues ??

[PiDevil]

I was watching part of the Oprah show yesterday (forgive me Oprah haters ). Towards the end she had Bob Greene, her diet & fitness expert on. He said you must ask yourself 3 questions, the first being "Why am I overweight?".

A simple answer that you like food was not sufficient. He said there has to be some underlying reason & if we don't find it we will never get better. Reasons such as a toxic relationship, molestation, etc. must be uncovered.

I think this may be true for some (even many) but not everyone. I swear there is nothing in my past or present that causes me to want to eat.

I grew up eating larger than normal portions. I am not a binge eater and have never consumed an entire package of anything ever.

Thoughts?

[LilacBruze]

I eat for comfort - very emotional eater. When stressed (which is often), a full belly equals security to me. I'm learning that it's okay and still pretty tasty to fill my belly with veggies and things that are not toxic to me (sugar, carbs, processed foods). Eventually I would like to get to a point where I don't have to overeat ANYTHING but... baby steps.

[2BabesMama]

Hmmm. I've heard other "experts" say that there is something we gain, some benefit, we get from being overweight. It serves us in some way. I could see that if a person has abuse issues or extremely low esteem, but I don't have either of those and I'm overweight.

For me it's probably the most to do with impulsivity. I act before I let my mind engage: i.e., say someone brought cookies in the office and I go into the kitchen and eat a couple before I really even recognize that I didn't even want cookies. They were there, I ate. If I'd been more mindful and in the moment (you can tell I've read the books! ) I would have been in touch that I didn't want cookies at all. Anyway, that automatic mindfulness is what I'm working toward, rather than the impulsivity.

[Mad4Chillas]

Hmm thats interesting. In general, I don't believe everyone gets fat because they have an emotional problem (although I know it is a contributing factor) especially in current society. I know plenty of overweight individuals who don't have any significant emotional trauma or underlying mental issues. Obesity is a multifaceted problem with varying causes working together (side note: its funny you mention this because for my thesis I am working on finding a correlation between childhood obesity and low socioeconomic status).

IMO I think conveinence food has a lot to do with it, people being over-worked, and having a society that dwells so much on body image--which all in all which leads to a very stressed, hungry, and carbohydrate craving person.

But I do understand that people deal with emotional problems in different ways, for me, that is the reason to why I developed an eating disorder (even though I was thinner prior to bulimia)--I had a very stressful home-life when I was in highschool, with a compuslive gambler as a father, a mom who never censored what she thought about my dad to her daughters, working part time as a manager at a restaurant, and a pressure in high school to remain with straight A's and be thin while doing it. I am sure emotional issues and past trauma do play a significant role in why a person becomes fat, but it is not a lone factor that ecompasses the entirety of the problem.

I think the main reasons I got fat were because I was trying to overcome my ED, I love food, Bad food tastes good, food gave me comfort, bad food is cheap and easy to get, and I just stopped caring what I put into my body. I really believed that I could eat crap like my other friends and remain stick thin---but with my metabolism all I got were a pair of thunder thighs, a beer gut, and a big a$$.

Interesting topic though really...

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by 2BabesMama

Hmmm. I've heard other "experts" say that there is something we gain, some benefit, we get from being overweight. It serves us in some way. I could see that if a person has abuse issues or extremely low esteem, but I don't have either of those and I'm overweight.

For me it's probably the most to do with impulsivity. I act before I let my mind engage: i.e., say someone brought cookies in the office and I go into the kitchen and eat a couple before I really even recognize that I didn't even want cookies. They were there, I ate. If I'd been more mindful and in the moment (you can tell I've read the books! ) I would have been in touch that I didn't want cookies at all. Anyway, that automatic mindfulness is what I'm working toward, rather than the impulsivity.

Good thread, Pat! I saw that program, too. Not an Oprah hater, but can't stand the way she's allowing all these last programs be a tribute to her 25 years doing the O Show. I mute those parts.

The part of the above post I put in bold is something called, "Secondary Gains." There is a reason (or two or three) that we gravitate toward negative behaviors and can't seem to break away from them, no matter how much we want to. We are getting something we need along with plenty of what we don't.

I have had a LIFETIME of things I could say has made me fat, addicted, etc. But it's all nonsense, when you really think about it. Food (drive throughs, junk food, dunkin donuts, delivery food, etc) is everywhere. And look at all the commercials we see on TV that plant all these little seeds in our subconscious to eat! How often does the food we order look that good? Never! Nor does it taste the way we hope it will.

AND bad food is "easy, convenient" food! We take the path of least resistance unless we can learn to be conscious and "in the moment," as said above.

We have nurtured bad behaviors and we have reaped what we've sown. I think it all boils down to that. Sure, some of us have had a hard road to travel down. But at any time, we can take back control and rise above it. It's all in the past! It doesn't even exist anymore.

[Terilynn]

I think he is full of it.
I am a perfect example of..... I LOVE FOOD, it tastes good!

I had a perfect childhood.
I have a great life. Sure there have been a lot of ups and downs, but none of those ups and downs have anything to do with why I am fat.

I got fat because I ate too much and moved too little.... simple as that.

[PiDevil]

Originally Posted by Terilynn

I think he is full of it.
I am a perfect example of..... I LOVE FOOD, it tastes good!

I had a perfect childhood.
I have a great life. Sure there have been a lot of ups and downs, but none of those ups and downs have anything to do with why I am fat.

I got fat because I ate too much and moved too little.... simple as that.

Ditto, Terrilynn, ditto.

These so-called experts would just say that we are repressing something. Well, I come from a long line of repressers then!

[PiDevil]

Originally Posted by Mad4Chillas

IMO I think conveinence food has a lot to do with it, people being over-worked, and having a society that dwells so much on body image--which all in all which leads to a very stressed, hungry, and carbohydrate craving person.

Yes, convenience food and the fact that the very cheapest food in the grocery store is horrible for you. If the government subsided the veggie growers like they do with the corn & other grain growers, then broccoli might be as cheap as a box of cheez-its.

Notice how so many people on government assistance are obese.

Of course none of the above factors apply to me.

[2011me]

My 'underlying' issue is hormonal... estrogen dom... which is exaggerated by the processed/convenience foods... (see a common thread/issue here????)

I am not a big eater (one reason why I like p2! lol)... nor an emotional eater. I would not eat at all and gain...

Have learned a lot about what is going on inside... and what from the outside contributes to what goes on inside.

[Mad4Chillas]

Originally Posted by PiDevil

Yes, convenience food and the fact that the very cheapest food in the grocery store is horrible for you. If the government subsided the veggie growers like they do with the corn & other grain growers, then broccoli might be as cheap as a box of cheez-its.

Notice how so many people on government assistance are obese.

Of course none of the above factors apply to me.

Agreed

[LilacBruze]

There was nothing traumatic in my childhood, but I am a pretty anxious person in general - I blame this on being too responsible (no, really!) and the weight of maintaining that responsibility at an early age (I was emancipated at 14). I always had to maintain some semblance of control in everything. Instead of drinking, drugs, etc., I turned to food.

I don't like fast food, don't eat in my car, don't hide food. I love to cook from scratch (no, really!) but have absolutely NO concept of portion control because to me, more food made me more happy. I can't explain it...

[poofsgirl]

I didn't have any weight problems until I became a stay at home mom. Can you say BOREDOM eater? That, and lazy... I used to run, but not so much anymore. So I guess you would say my underlying issue would be a lack of a j.o.b.

Technically I will blame it on the government, I married the Army and moved... I have not been able to find work since.

[shelbyla]

I also grew up around large portions and "food as reward" which I think contributes a lot to some of the behaviors in my adult life. I also grew up in a household where there was an emphasis on "whole" and "natural" foods which may seem awesome on the surface but was a landmine when *I* got to choose what I wanted to eat and discovered the "delights" of junk food. A dozen cupcakes? No problem. Donuts? Bring it on. BAGS of candy--oh, you betcha. That's not to mention driving through McD's and buying enough food for at LEAST two people (really, more like three) INCLUDING dessert and scarfing it all down in the privacy of my own home. Just binging--no purging. There is definitely a PHYSICAL correlation there with that kind of food, as opposed to an emotional or mental one, that caused me to go back time and again to these destructive eating behaviors. I do think that processed sugars and starches chemically affect us to the point where there is almost no real choice...

Great thread!

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by shelbyla

I also grew up around large portions and "food as reward" which I think contributes a lot to some of the behaviors in my adult life. I also grew up in a household where there was an emphasis on "whole" and "natural" foods which may seem awesome on the surface but was a landmine when *I* got to choose what I wanted to eat and discovered the "delights" of junk food. A dozen cupcakes? No problem. Donuts? Bring it on. BAGS of candy--oh, you betcha. That's not to mention driving through McD's and buying enough food for at LEAST two people (really, more like three) INCLUDING dessert and scarfing it all down in the privacy of my own home. Just binging--no purging. There is definitely a PHYSICAL correlation there with that kind of food, as opposed to an emotional or mental one, that caused me to go back time and again to these destructive eating behaviors. I do think that processed sugars and starches chemically affect us to the point where there is almost no real choice...

Great thread!

You have stirred up some old memories in me, Shelby! I used to go to different fast food drive-thru's so I wouldn't be recognized as going there as often as I was. (Did the same thing with Liquor Stores.) If I couldn't decide between Italian and Chinese, I'd have both!

I think you are absolutely right about all that food changing us chemically, so that we become robots and slaves to it.

[LilacBruze]

I'm not gonna get a bill in the mail for this therapy, am I?

[catjrow3]

I grew up eating alot of "unhealthy" food... we were pretty poor and boxed and canned is cheaper... and I was picky, so I would sweet cereals and junk... I was not athletic in school, hated to run, did not move enough, but otherwise, not molested, no abnormal trauma in my life. Just ate too much, did not exercise and ate all the wrong things!! Everything I craved, breads, sweets, cakes, cookies, all made me want more of them... and then eating out was easier than cooking and tasted better, etc etc etc... then stopping smoking, put on another 40-50 lbs.. until I blossomed into a 240 lb'er...

I do think that our society uses food way to much for "socializing" family gatherings, get togethers, pot lucks, birthdays, holidays, you name it!! Its very hard to be controlled and eat healthy while everyone else is getting the "good stuff" since everything has food or alcohol surrounding it!! Restaurants are the devil!! LOL I was never a fast food junkie, really (although I love me some french fries) but more of an italian, chinese or steak house or BAKERIES!!!
Sugar and carbs, sugars and carbs.. Lord save us all! LOL

[CherylB]

I KNOW! Why is that? Why can't we go to the zoo or something instead of pigging out every time we have a special occasion? Let's go do something, not just EAT something or DRINK something. Let's start some new traditions!

I was a really picky junk food/ lazy @$$ kid, myself. I ate Peanut butter and Fluff because I didn't like (or thought I wouldn't like) Jelly. I lived on Cheese puffs. We looked forward with baited breath to Friday nights which were our Pizza nights. If it had nutritional value, I pretty much wasn't interested. Green? No thanks. My Mother used to smear mayo on leaves of lettuce to try to get something green down my gullet! (Guess they didn't know that iceberg lettuce has no nutritional value back in those days.)

[catjrow3]

Originally Posted by CherylB

I KNOW! Why is that? Why can't we go to the zoo or something instead of pigging out every time we have a special occasion? Let's go do something, not just EAT something or DRINK something. Let's start some new traditions!

I was a really picky junk food/ lazy @$$ kid, myself. I ate Peanut butter and Fluff because I didn't like (or thought I wouldn't like) Jelly. I lived on Cheese puffs. We looked forward with baited breath to Friday nights which were our Pizza nights. If it had nutritional value, I pretty much wasn't interested. Green? No thanks. My Mother used to smear mayo on leaves of lettuce to try to get something green down my gullet! (Guess they didn't know that iceberg lettuce has no nutritional value back in those days.)

I never touched a vegetable until I was in my 30s!! LOL

PB&J was my friend.... (OHHHH MY KINGDOM FOR A PB&J)

[C'Marie]

HCG has fixed all this for me. Doing the protocol has taught me that simple, fresh foods really DO have taste, and the junky crappy food does NOT taste like I remember it! It's downright disappointing!

HCG has ruined my junk food habit for me! And my hormones are waaaaay better after doing hcg - I was very estrogen dominant with all the problems that has. I could gain weight on almost nothing and was fast gaining at least 20 pounds a year trying to diet.

I agree with the chemical aspect of the food really driving us to eat it - it IS addictive on many levels. There are "excitotoxins" in much of the fast food and prepared foods. I remember I had to literally "kick" junk food and drive through food and it took headache after headache - where before, I'd get a headache, and drive through the Taco Bell and get a burrito supreme no onions no red sauce, and a pepsi, and wah-la - headache gone.... YEA it was chemical - NOT mental - It took awhile to kick, like a dang junkie I was!

Now, the simple food really is the best, and I feel so much better on it.

I did have childhood issues with food and I also had "underlying" issues that food used to comfort and protect me from - being fat was somewhat of a protectant - but I used to binge and purge, and fast, and abuse diet pills - but whenever I started to lose weight, I got nightmares about being raped. WTH !!!! guess what - not falling for that anymore. A devil exposed is a devil defeated!

BRING IT! I'm not scared of being pretty or thin anymore. And I still like food! Yes, I do! And I plan to eat very, very well on maintenance!

[C'Marie]

Holy cow, did I kill the thread ?

[PiDevil]

Originally Posted by CherylB

I KNOW! Why is that? Why can't we go to the zoo or something instead of pigging out every time we have a special occasion? Let's go do something, not just EAT something or DRINK something. Let's start some new traditions!

I was a really picky junk food/ lazy @$$ kid, myself. I ate Peanut butter and Fluff because I didn't like (or thought I wouldn't like) Jelly. I lived on Cheese puffs. We looked forward with baited breath to Friday nights which were our Pizza nights. If it had nutritional value, I pretty much wasn't interested. Green? No thanks. My Mother used to smear mayo on leaves of lettuce to try to get something green down my gullet! (Guess they didn't know that iceberg lettuce has no nutritional value back in those days.)

Go to the zoo?? That's funny.

My school lunches were always cold cut or chicken salad sandwiches (always wrapped in wax paper!). Other kids had peanut butter & jelly, etc. My mother convinced me that my lunches were superior (I guess they were) even though I used to look longingly over at their desks (we didn't have lunch rooms in elementary school). Dinners were always home cooked meats, a starch & fresh veggies and on Sundays a special noon time meal of pasta with homemade 'gravy' and meatballs or a roast beef or pork. We never went out for dinner.

I grew up on good home cooked food - I just ate too much of it. When my kids were growing up, I continued the tradition - fresh & home made. I love to plan & cook large meals for company too. Yes, food & cooking are a large part of my life. I don't bake much especially since I eat primarily low carb but I do bake on occasion.

[paulabob]

I think it is true in a lot of cases. But I don't think in mine. I grew up thinnish...but I also ate far less than most people. I remember at 18 eating one taco as a meal, or 3/4 of a personal pan pizza (back when they were 5 or 6 inches across).

My metabolism was never great...just got worse as I got older. If I'd known then about how carbs drive fat storage as well as hunger...I don't think I would ever have gotten overweight.

And certainly, even 100 pounds overweight, I still ate far less than most people. I suppose I'm built to withstand famines.

ETA, I can also second the estrogen dominance thing that seems to largely be gone now...whether due to hcg or the fat loss itself I don't know.

[PiDevil]

Well that's a totally different spin on things, Paula. You always ate smaller than normal portions but still ended up with a wt issue. Seems like the people eat small portions are naturally thin their whole lives. Guess not always.

You also made me think about portion size in a different way. When I was about 12 or 13, my best friend lived right across the street from a McD's (I am talking mid-1960's when McD's was a novelty). Back then a meal was a reg. hamburger, fries & a drink. The portion sizes of all the items are still available at McD's but now they are the kid meals! Not many adults buy these items for themselves.

Just shows how much things changed.

[shelbyla]

I remember one of the rare times that I went to McD's as a child for a girl party. I think I was in 4th grade. Everyone else, INCLUDING THE TEACHER, got hamburgers. I got a Big Mac because that was the portion size I was used to eating at home. I still think about it and get embarrassed.

My school lunches were always made on homemade whole grain bread (that crumbled if you so much as looked at it!). Oh how I coveted the other kids' PB&Js on Wonder! Oh and when I wasn't having homemade whole grain bread, I was having homemade spinakopita (sp?) or rabbit stew. Try explaining THAT to the other kids at the lunch table! No wonder I got beat up so much...

[paulabob]

Originally Posted by PiDevil

You also made me think about portion size in a different way. When I was about 12 or 13, my best friend lived right across the street from a McD's (I am talking mid-1960's when McD's was a novelty). Back then a meal was a reg. hamburger, fries & a drink. The portion sizes of all the items are still available at McD's but now they are the kid meals! Not many adults buy these items for themselves.

Things really have changed...eating out is so difficult with most places giving us enough food to make our stomachs burst!

And I keep thinking about these things, as I have a very thin daughter who is so much like me. I worry how she has a sweet tooth (I had a chip tooth) and that it may all spiral out of control when she's older. She eats very little food compared to her peers so I think she has my fairly rotten metabolism. I suppose the amount you eat is irrelevant as long as your hunger is in proportion to what your body needs.

Neither kid of mine has hypoglycemia like I do...I think it's a good sign.

I should add that I used to use food (chips) as a crutch...but it was not a constant thing. Nothing I can blame my upbringing on...we just all find coping mechanisms that we learn are not the best for our health.

[PiDevil]

Originally Posted by shelbyla

I remember one of the rare times that I went to McD's as a child for a girl party. I think I was in 4th grade. Everyone else, INCLUDING THE TEACHER, got hamburgers. I got a Big Mac because that was the portion size I was used to eating at home. I still think about it and get embarrassed.

My school lunches were always made on homemade whole grain bread (that crumbled if you so much as looked at it!). Oh how I coveted the other kids' PB&Js on Wonder! Oh and when I wasn't having homemade whole grain bread, I was having homemade spinakopita (sp?) or rabbit stew. Try explaining THAT to the other kids at the lunch table! No wonder I got beat up so much...

lol at the Big Mac! There were no big mac's in the mid-60's. McD's realized people would pay even more than the 19 cents they used to charge for a regular burger. Double or triple the profits for very little more money.

Does any else remember this - McD's used to make their own fries at every store. Yep, fresh potatoes & french fry cutters. Seems unheard of now.

Shelby - sounds like you grew up in an ethnic home like mine (Italian). My cold cut sandwiches were salami & mortadella on Italian bread.

[shelbyla]

I just grew up with two people who were gourmet cooks who loved experimenting with different cuisines. I starting cooking family meals when I was younger than 10, including crepes, lasagne, liver & onions (bleh! never again!), etc. Parents were both teachers so we were "in charge" of dinner for the family when we got home from school, me at 10, and my younger brothers at 8 and 6. I don't know many parents these days who would turn their kids that age loose in the kitchen unsupervised! Of course, I don't know anywhere these days where you can drop those same kids off at the local park or at the community swimming pool and leave them there ALL DAY without worrying about them getting snatched... Times they are a changin'...

Oh and I think Big Macs must have appeared sometime in the mid-70's since that's about the timeframe that I was in 4th grade...

[Terilynn]

I was SKINNY until my 30's.
I was very, very active until then also. Then I kept eating the same and sitting more. Nothing will make me not LOVE food. I just have to learn to love it one day a week instead of 7 I guess and I have gotten more active again, but probably too late for that at 53.

[LilacBruze]

I grew up on homemade (but cheap) food, our family was poor and eating out was something we did maybe once a year, if that. But the homemade food had processed bases - i.e. my dad is from Mexico so you can imagine all the rice and tortillas we consistently ate, not to mention the high carbs in those plus beans. When we were not eating Mexican food, my mother would cook Italian, again processed bases - i.e. pasta and bread. We did eat a salad at every meal. My lunches were always a cold cut sandwich and an apple and a milk.

Although I am large-boned and have never been skinny, my weight issues did not begin until I became pregnant with my daughter at age 22. I had gestational diabetes and a high-risk pregnancy that translated into LOTS of bed rest and inactivity. Here is where I ballooned, gaining 85 lbs during pregnancy. I lost 8 lbs of it when she was born and have been carrying the rest around ever since - 18 years now.

Having stated earlier in this thread that I am an emotional eater, it's been really hard doing hcg and not having the losses I expected because of course my first reaction is to seek comfort. I am hanging in there though!

[CherylB]

Get your comfort here! That's what's so great about LCF. I don't know what I'd do without it. I hope I never have to find out.