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-   -   Need some advice, please (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/golden-years/800191-need-some-advice-please.html)

Begete 03-23-2013 05:14 PM

Need some advice, please
John and I visited two of the three shelters on the island today to see if we would fall in love with any cat or cats. We did not fall in love.

There were many beautiful/cute kitties. There were many kitties who are unlikely to be adopted because of their age or special needs.

We feel because we can afford to care for older and/or special need kitties, that's what we should adopt. However, when we adopted HarryHoudini and Pandora a week after my soul cat died back in 1998, both scheduled to be euthanized, we didn't adopt either just to save them. We fell in love with both of them.

So my question is.....is this normal? I miss Pandora so very much. Is that why I cannot fathom caring for another kitty? What should I do? Should we take a cat or cats that are in need even though we don't feel instant affection? Or should we wait for that special cat or cats?

What have you experienced after the loss of a long time beloved pet?

weezie 03-23-2013 05:52 PM

I suggest giving it a bit more time. When my beloved tabby Murp died I couldn't bring myself to replace her. She was 16 and I'd had her for 14 years. We wound up getting our dog Ben, 1/2 black lab, 1/2 border collie, a rescue, about 6 months later, then added Lucy, another black lab rescue about 2 years later.

Then a couple of years after that, a neighbor who knew i liked cats brought me a feral-born tabby kitten, Nala, who immediately came down with distemper. I nursed Nala through the distemper and she always had an odd gait from the neurological damage. Eventually she developed uncontrollable epilepsy and died at age 3 1/2. I just couldn't bear to replace her either, but then we had an influx of field mice. So, about a year later, we found Libby, who is a hearty and healthy 4 year old.

I now love having our kitty, and having one who is healthy (as opposed to special needs) is much easier.

Just my 2 cents.

modon69478 03-23-2013 06:07 PM

More two cents -

Cent #1: I don't think you should adopt another pet because you can and think you should. You will know when the time is right and your heart is ready to bring another loved one into your home. For me, after my 18-year old dog died, I wasn't ready until about 2 months had past.

Cent #2: I would also consider how the medical needs of a sick or elderly pet could impact your mobility. I know that you like to travel and a healthy animal makes it less stressful. You have had your fair share of stress the past year or so. I think you deserve a break. You certainly can support the organizations that care for those animals in need in other ways than taking one into your home and making a lifetime commitment to it.

I certainly hope that I haven't offended you in any way - just offering two cents worth,


birdlady 03-23-2013 06:10 PM

Wait for a while,you just got over being sick and just not up to par yet.One will come.Do they have a web page,would be easier for me than going to the shelter.But as I get older I want less pets and have lost that save all the animals I can thing.
Good Luck

Begete 03-23-2013 06:10 PM

In no way am I offended. I am very grateful to both of you for sharing your opinions and feelings. Thank you.

Thank you, too, Gladys. We were posting at the same time.

Doug_H 03-23-2013 07:28 PM

Babette, .....give it some time.....:hugs:

Shalbrihil 03-23-2013 11:24 PM

My little dog lived to be 13 years old. When he died it ripped my heart. It took me 2 years before we adopted our little boy Zip. We liked him so much that 2 years later we got another one. It's hard to know what to tell you except that you need to give it time and feel the love before going into that commitment again.

mykneesareback 03-24-2013 06:56 PM

Our bulldog died 5 yrs. ago, and we just can't properly care for another pet, dog or cat, where we live now, being gone all day, rather often, icy cold, etc. No neighbors are left to help take care of the pets if we have to leave, and our vet's overnight place is he&&. So we aren't going to get any kind of pet until we settle somewhere else......and then, maybe not even then, since we also like to travel, and can't afford to board the animals often. Health is a big issue, too, of yourself, to care for your animals. :dunno:
I still get tears when I see a bulldog, and at one of the motels we stayed at, a lady came in with a 2 month old puppy, I went to look and was allowed to pet, and had to walk away. It's tough, Begete, I'm sorry for what you are going through. :hugs:

LoveMontana 03-24-2013 08:40 PM

Oh Babette, it's so difficult to lose a loved pet, but I agree that you should wait until you heal.

Verleen 03-25-2013 10:31 AM

Babette, I would wait. I didn't wait to replace my beloved conure parrot, Nigel. Four months after Nigel death, we adopted another homeless conure. That was in 2005. To this day, I don't like him. He can never be Nigel. Of all my animals that I have had, I loved Nigel the most. He really was the love of my life.

We lost our 16 yr old Boston Terrier to kidney failure. After 3 yrs, we got Molly, another Boston and as you know, I love her to pieces.

I guess its a matter of the person and the animal and how they click together. I think you do need time to mourn the loss of Pandora. Just my 2 cents.

gello5440 03-25-2013 01:57 PM

When my beloved Big John passed it was the first time in my life aside from college that I had NO pet. I cleaned my house of all the residual hair (he was a red tabby persian) and scrubbed the litter box and put it in the garage. Stored all the toys and feeding bowls and decided I was done. No more pets. And you know, I lasted almost three months. Then the need to have another kitty became overwhelming and soon we adopted Pete. It was right and good and I doubt I'll ever be without a pet again....or several..lol.

You will know when it is 'right'. Hugs.

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