**~~BiPo Group~~*

CurveControl · 06-14-2012, 12:51 PM

Looks like our old thread was lost, so here we are~A fresh new thread~!

How is everyone?

DJ · 07-13-2012, 06:17 PM

I haven't been to work in over a month. I don't think I've ever had a depressive spell quite like this. It started with an intense feeling of derealization, we were finally able to get that to go away and now I'm just an apathetic block of space. I'm supposed to go back to work next week, I'm trying to extend my medical leave. My pdoc isn't cooperating and being weird. I'm usually itching to go back to work after being gone even a week and I just don't feel ready to go back yet. I've never felt that way before - I'm a live to work person. I've pretty much stopped doing everything I like, which, I didn't know there was anything left to stop caring about but the last few days I haven't even been online much. I'm just kind of...existing.

I'm taking Lithium and I do feel it helping a little, but because my pdoc gave it to me without talking about the drug tests I have no idea if I'm taking a theurupeutic dose or not. I'm taking it with Lamictal and I'm slowly starting to feel better. I just really want some more time to recover at home.

At this point I've done both inpatient and outpatient, and the thought crossed my mind to check in again but I don't think that's the right call again. My experience in those programs is that they assign you a pdoc who sees you twice and then you make crafts and talk about your feelings and then they send you home just as jacked up as you were when you got there with a nice big bill.

I spoke with a local doctor about TMS (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) because it does seem less invasive than ECT, but it's $11k

, my insurance won't cover any of it, and I'd have to be out of work for 4-6 weeks and I was told he does not do paperwork for short-term disability (weird, like my current pdoc) so if I take the time off it would be entirely unpaid.

There's another procedure in trials (I wanna say MST?) that seems promising but the trial in Dallas isn't accepting more people. But the side effect profile is lower than the ECT. Of course, I'm sure it probably costs more than my college education and who knows when it'll even be public.

Bleah. So, that's where I am.

DJ · 07-13-2012, 06:28 PM

Oh on an interesting note, I'm worried about weight gain with Lithium because everything I read is all ZOMG SO MUCH WEIGHT GAIN, but since I've gone off Geodon I've actually had no appetite or been slightly neauseated and just want to drink water and eat cherries. I bought new clothes for when I go back to work, and they fit a lot better now actually than when I bought them. Geodon's supposed to be weight-neutral but that wasn't my experience, but then again Paxil's supposed to be a weight gainer but I was my tiniest when I took it. I had no appetite whatsoever. No energy but no appetite either.

06-14-2012, 12:51 PM	#1
CurveControl Formerlychubchick Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 77,025 Gallery: CurveControl Stats: 200/176.0/130 WOE: LC JUDD/TOPS	**~~BiPo Group~~* Looks like our old thread was lost, so here we are~A fresh new thread~! How is everyone?

07-13-2012, 06:17 PM	#2
DJ Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 30,710 Gallery: DJ Stats: just depressing. Start Date: August 2004	I haven't been to work in over a month. I don't think I've ever had a depressive spell quite like this. It started with an intense feeling of derealization, we were finally able to get that to go away and now I'm just an apathetic block of space. I'm supposed to go back to work next week, I'm trying to extend my medical leave. My pdoc isn't cooperating and being weird. I'm usually itching to go back to work after being gone even a week and I just don't feel ready to go back yet. I've never felt that way before - I'm a live to work person. I've pretty much stopped doing everything I like, which, I didn't know there was anything left to stop caring about but the last few days I haven't even been online much. I'm just kind of...existing. I'm taking Lithium and I do feel it helping a little, but because my pdoc gave it to me without talking about the drug tests I have no idea if I'm taking a theurupeutic dose or not. I'm taking it with Lamictal and I'm slowly starting to feel better. I just really want some more time to recover at home. At this point I've done both inpatient and outpatient, and the thought crossed my mind to check in again but I don't think that's the right call again. My experience in those programs is that they assign you a pdoc who sees you twice and then you make crafts and talk about your feelings and then they send you home just as jacked up as you were when you got there with a nice big bill. I spoke with a local doctor about TMS (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) because it does seem less invasive than ECT, but it's $11k , my insurance won't cover any of it, and I'd have to be out of work for 4-6 weeks and I was told he does not do paperwork for short-term disability (weird, like my current pdoc) so if I take the time off it would be entirely unpaid. There's another procedure in trials (I wanna say MST?) that seems promising but the trial in Dallas isn't accepting more people. But the side effect profile is lower than the ECT. Of course, I'm sure it probably costs more than my college education and who knows when it'll even be public. Bleah. So, that's where I am. __________________ “The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive." — Pearl S. Buck ===== Mayor of Crankytown

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07-13-2012, 06:28 PM	#3
DJ Way too much time on my hands! Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 30,710 Gallery: DJ Stats: just depressing. Start Date: August 2004	Oh on an interesting note, I'm worried about weight gain with Lithium because everything I read is all ZOMG SO MUCH WEIGHT GAIN, but since I've gone off Geodon I've actually had no appetite or been slightly neauseated and just want to drink water and eat cherries. I bought new clothes for when I go back to work, and they fit a lot better now actually than when I bought them. Geodon's supposed to be weight-neutral but that wasn't my experience, but then again Paxil's supposed to be a weight gainer but I was my tiniest when I took it. I had no appetite whatsoever. No energy but no appetite either.