Will the madness ever end?

[Darkfire]

So I go the shrink and have a terrible panic attack in the waiting room waiting for her. Hubby is like in overdrive trying to keep me lucid so I don't lose it and she then decides I need to be in a pysc hospital. She can't commit me for two reasons, I am not psycotic, depressed and number two, my husband told her in no way shape or form do I need a psyc hospital. I am like can they handle the surgery I need for the tumors and she said no. So hubby is like what are they going to feed her she is allergic to wheat, corn, etc etc etc. She had no answer and dropped it. She was pissed when I told her I will not take anti-psycotics. NOT approved for panic, and cause back pain and urinary retention HELLO I just told her I have a tumor pressing on my bladder..I sneeze I pee....and you want to do what? She ignored it. I asked for hydroxyzine because of allergy testing and the xyzal caused me to go to the er with a panic attack. I wanted something not addictive for break through panic. She refused, I get her point but allergy testing must continue. She tried to call my allergist like five times when I sat there and waited. He is the one that told me my 'female' condition isn't life threatening and to continue allergy treatment. He also went ballistic when I told him I was in the ER after his beloved xyzal sent me into a blind panic. She then went on and on about the xanax and decided to more than double my dose. WUT? First you tell me risks about getting addicted then gave me double what I asked for, then say if you run out in less than a month I am not giving you more. WUT? She tells me xanax wont last eight hours then WHY did she torture me for two months, with such a low dose?

Hubby finally had enough and kinda yelled at her like, wait yer telling me all these things inside her are not causing her to have panic and get worse and worse? Are you kidding me. He was furious on my behalf. She had no 'IM sorries' for my tumors and impending surgery....it was surreal how cold she was now that they found a physical reason for the panic. She asked his opinion and he was like hell no she doesn't need a psyc hospital she needs a hysterectomy aren't you listening, look at these reports....


On the flip side I am now on the right dose the use for panic disorder of xanax and she could care less if i up, lower or stop the paxil. She said whatever I wanted....WUT? Aren't you the doctor? What should I do....ug///// We were both furious when we left there....


Then to pour salt in the wound I went to get my records from the gyn who said September I was clean. The moron said I SAID I had no gyn problems. Did she fall asleep when I said I was flooding and passing clots and had a list of symptoms a mile long. She blatantly lied in her report repeatedly. She also wrote I had ample time to ask questions, um no. She never did answer me why she never tested my progesterone. plus side my pap was clean totally////

You might wonder why I have panic attacks when I see a new doc....because my worst fears keep coming true....

I still don't get how she missed an orange sized tumor on my uterus...


I got to go back to he allergist today if for no reason than its been a week and corn and rice are still swollen lumps under my skin, thats not supposed to happen.

i also have to go back to the dentist.today as well...since my crown fell out and i have another tooth that broke....uh I am not sure how much more I can take.....but at least this stuff is paid for already.


and I have another deep abscess the damn thing drained under the skin Im so dang scared....i can't get to surface...man if this turns necrotic like the one in June......ug tomorrow I meet the new gyn surgeon and I am confident he will help me. Gotta keep the faith....I have no choice or I will lose it.



Sorry this got so long.....I'm just so ....I needed to vent////


HUGS

Anna

[Houston Heather]

Oh, Anna.

It is so horrible when you have a butthead doctor who doesn't get you! (and these are the same fingers that just typed out mulitple Bible verses! )

Oh, last year, Ron's doctor almost killed him, giving him a shot of penicillin on top of the antibiotic, then she got an attitude with me when he got sick and wouldn't eat - everything was more imaging so she could get more money... awful.

I am putting you on the prayer list, with a specific request: For God to send you a COMPASSIONATE, KIND, COMPOTENT doctor who will give you ANSWERS and SOLUTIONS.

I will say that Risperdal has never had any side effects other than bigger breasts for me ; and while taking it the panic attacks are toast - my doc loves it for panic AND it's generic and very, very reasonable. However, you are you, and know your body.

I will be praying. I wish I could do more.

[Darkfire]

Heather I had very compassionate 'me' people today. Very helpful and understanding and the dentist let me go before finishing all the work because she could tell I couldn't take any more. I have one cavity to be filled and polishing left. Then after the dentist I was off for fifty more needles and the allergist was amazing, it wasn't the meanie doc it was a great nurse who took great care of me and I am so happy to not be allergic to meat, strawberries, chocolate and night shades. Shockingly not allergic to soybean. I've made it my mission this morning to be the kindest patient to those who care for me compassionately. Apparently your prayers got to me very quickly.

Im scared to death of the gyn tomorrow.... but i have faith. I know the hell I am going through will, in the end, leave me wiser, stronger, healthier and that is all that matters.


Risperdol was a nightmare for me. Who knows it could be the fillers, corn or rice or something. One pill had my muscles doing jerky things and did not help the panic at all. The usual therapeutic dose of Xanax works perfectly. Actually a little less works.

I am exhausted thanks for responding and praying heather....it means more than you know.

[Houston Heather]

Oh, I've been there.

One of my spiritual gifts is "mercy" - I like to use it.

I thought my muscle-twitchy thing was the lithium. Fortunately it isn't bad enough for me to stop. Bummer about the Risperdal.

I'll keep praying.

[Rdm]

Is your vitamin D still low?-this can cause chest pain and panic attacks.

[Darkfire]

Originally Posted by Rdm

Is your vitamin D still low?-this can cause chest pain and panic attacks.

not sure but they dont care as i passed a kidney stone and developed a serious allergy to drisdol (vit d 50000 units) and that hypercalcium syndrome thing from it. Their theory is that is not nearly as important as the tumors and cysts. If they retested I'll know tomorrow, if not I won't know until Jan. Chest pain is nill, palps are not nill but as the hormones go more wonky they get worse, they can time my pain with it interestingly enough. Helped them decide again it's not my heart but my uterus causing my hell.

thanks for reminding me tho to make sure im tested again.