~*~BiPolar Folks~*~

[djalomo]

CC how interesting...I haven't felt quite as normal as long as when I was on the 50. I'll keep in that in mind. I wonder if 150 will do it, or if I'd need a lower dose. Aside from Saturday I've been feeling fairly stable but on the low side.

[faithgirl]

Glad you're feeling better Molly!


Did anyone have panic attacks before being diagnosed bipolar? And do the mood stabilizers help with that? I'm still taking my Klonopin, but had an attack anyway. Caused by an idiot at work-if they would just realize I am right, these things wouldn't happen! I don't think I could stay awake at a higher dose of Klonopin so I am hoping this doesn't become a regular thing.

[Houston Heather]

Yes, major panic attacks. No symptoms at all now. I'm on lithium, lexapro, and risperdal. I give the lithium credit because I always feel mellow after taking it. Sometimes pukey and mellow, but it works.

Hallucinations today. Mixed episode... not fun. I whacked it, though.

Time in the garden is an excellent mood stabilizer, after taking the pharmaceutical version of same.

Some days it really sucks to be me, and I got PAID today, I have tomorrow off! AGH.

Molly, I always crank up the lithium dose when I'm having bad symptoms, like today. Otherwise I would have been really vicious and non-functional.

[faithgirl]

Aw Heather, do you just take more lithium when the hallucinations start? That has got to suck. I'm glad the lithium works so well for you. I hope when I see the pdoc he can give me something more effective. I am really hating the panic attacks. not that they are all that frequent anymore.

Speaking of the pdoc, I still cannot get the regular doctor's office staff to find out if they can get me in earlier than September.

[Houston Heather]

Risperdal works on the hallucinations. Lithium is good for mixed moods, at least mine. UP, down, mixed, more "Big L" and I'm set.

I just wish I could figure out the source of my "runs". UGH. I'm keeping hydrated so that's not it... maybe my blood test'll show.

I plan to ask my doc to mail me my results. They cost $272, I deserve to read them!

[faithgirl]

Oh heck yeah, I'd want a copy of them, too!

[Houston Heather]

It ought to be fun.. he ordered a complete cholesterol - finally get Dad off my back! I love him; even though he's been indoctrinated with low fat. Getting a good look at me last month during the family reunion shut him up about my "fat intake". Showing good numbers ought to help too.

I am also curious to see how liver and kidneys are doing. I see so many profoundly unhealthy people, I always thank my kidneys for doing a good job when I pee! A LOT of people on dialysis, riding the paratransit.

Today, it's me, my paycheck, my hand cart, and the bus! A recipe for fun!

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

Yes, major panic attacks. No symptoms at all now. I'm on lithium, lexapro, and risperdal. I give the lithium credit because I always feel mellow after taking it. Sometimes pukey and mellow, but it works.

Hallucinations today. Mixed episode... not fun. I whacked it, though.

Time in the garden is an excellent mood stabilizer, after taking the pharmaceutical version of same.

Some days it really sucks to be me, and I got PAID today, I have tomorrow off! AGH.

Molly, I always crank up the lithium dose when I'm having bad symptoms, like today. Otherwise I would have been really vicious and non-functional.

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

Risperdal works on the hallucinations. Lithium is good for mixed moods, at least mine. UP, down, mixed, more "Big L" and I'm set.

I just wish I could figure out the source of my "runs". UGH. I'm keeping hydrated so that's not it... maybe my blood test'll show.

I plan to ask my doc to mail me my results. They cost $272, I deserve to read them!

you have a legal right to them. All labs ever done on any member of my family (Including my Mom since I became her guardian) are in my files.

Faith girl. Be tenacious. Squeeky wheel gets the oil, and all that.

I occasionally have mini panic attacks. Actually I didn't used to, it seems to be a fairly new, in the last year thing.

[djalomo]

I think I titrated to quickly this last time - I went back down to 75mgs today and feel normal again. I was pretty mixed yesterday. Have an appt later this week and then I have one scheduled with a hopefully less flaky doc in two weeks.

[CurveControl]

yeah, I found a slower titration caused way less hypo issues. It took me a little longer than usual to get to 150. And that is OK, because I felt pretty good withing a few days of starting.

[faithgirl]

Had a stressful afternoon at work. I would like to kill my boss. instead I had my mouth going. I truly believe he is a text book case narcissist. If you look it up, he fits every trait. I am just so wound up and angry!

After our 'encounter' I went back to my office and called my doctor and they got me into a pdoc, get this, tomorrow! I am freaked about it of course. Just really freaked. I think they just picked this doc out of the phone book. Dammit, i could have done that! I am wondering though, 3 doctors in this practice take my insurance, but this one does not. Do you think it is an oversight by my insurance's website? It will be so expensive if he is out of network. But if I wait and try to get in with the pdoc that takes my insurance, it could be months.

[CurveControl]

Huh. Usually an insurance contracts with a practice, not individual docs within the practice. Maybe he just isn't listed as a provider yet.
However, Once you get in the door and get the first appt it will be easier to schedule with one of the other docs if that is not the case.

[faithgirl]

Well I just spoke to the scheduler and he said he knew 2 of the docs took it, but he had never had the one I was scheduled with take it. It's the difference between $200 and $40 so I am going to wait until July 30th and go with one of them. It's only 15 days and I can manage that I think. If I don't hurt someone first. A couple of her specialties are bipolar and eating disorders. Maybe she will be a good one. I don't know.

What can I expect the first visit?

[CurveControl]

a long interview, Lots of questions that may sound bizarre or irrelevant (and probably are , to you) lots of questions about history. It would be a good idea to start writing down a mood diary, and relevant things/symptoms you can think of from your past and especially write down any questions you have. I try to keep a notebook in my purse and write them down as I think of them.

[faithgirl]

Thanks Molly. I am still wound up by my idiot boss. I have not disliked anyone so much in my life.

I don't even know what kind of questions to ask...I need to get thinking on this.

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by faithgirl

Thanks Molly. I am still wound up by my idiot boss. I have not disliked anyone so much in my life.

I don't even know what kind of questions to ask...I need to get thinking on this.

I feel exactly this way when I'm mixed. Exactly. EVERYTHING grates on my worst nerve, and my hatred for people consumes my entire day. I become mouthy and antisocial and want to be alone all the time because just conversing politely with people is just too hard for me because I'm so wound up. Once I'm stable things still bother me but I'm able to see things with more perspective and don't want to kill everyone that comes in my path. I'm happy your depression's lifting but I hope you're not in a mixed episode.

[faithgirl]

Originally Posted by djalomo

I feel exactly this way when I'm mixed. Exactly. EVERYTHING grates on my worst nerve, and my hatred for people consumes my entire day. I become mouthy and antisocial and want to be alone all the time because just conversing politely with people is just too hard for me because I'm so wound up. Once I'm stable things still bother me but I'm able to see things with more perspective and don't want to kill everyone that comes in my path. I'm happy your depression's lifting but I hope you're not in a mixed episode.

I know the Cymbalta is making me agressive. I told my sister and friend what I said in my meeting with the boss and they about freaked out that I said what I did. All I can think of is the other stuff I want to say tomorrow! (In the morning I am happy as can be and pretty darn 'up' feeling).

To be truthful, I have had these type of episodes even without medication causing it. Maybe I should have kept the appointment for tomorrow but I'd have been mad if I liked him and couldn't afford him long term.

[Houston Heather]

My doc already made all his money . He takes uninsured like me, about $50 a visit. Very very good, he is very well known. I like him AND trust him, a very big deal because we're talking brain here.

Faithgirl, if you have about $20 to spare I strongly suggest you get "The Bipolar Survival Guide". It will cover any question you have and then some, covers side effects, what to expect, how to stay on top of your moods, you name it. I bought several books after diagnosis, because I had a 2 month wait before I put any medication in my mouth! Reading it really helped me realize "Help IS on the way!".

I didn't find any of the other books 1/4 as good as the Bipolar Survival Guide.

[djalomo]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

My doc already made all his money . He takes uninsured like me, about $50 a visit. Very very good, he is very well known. I like him AND trust him, a very big deal because we're talking brain here.

Faithgirl, if you have about $20 to spare I strongly suggest you get "The Bipolar Survival Guide". It will cover any question you have and then some, covers side effects, what to expect, how to stay on top of your moods, you name it. I bought several books after diagnosis, because I had a 2 month wait before I put any medication in my mouth! Reading it really helped me realize "Help IS on the way!".

I didn't find any of the other books 1/4 as good as the Bipolar Survival Guide.

Thank you for the recommendation!

Faithgirl I'd get those 'omg i said that' moods too before medication. They just came and went. I got yelled at once at my old job as a result. No one had EVER called me out on it before. I've had several of those moments on my new job. I'm mortified when I think of the destruction I was capable of causing.

[faithgirl]

this one Heather?

Amazon.com: The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You...

[faithgirl]

Originally Posted by djalomo

Thank you for the recommendation!

Faithgirl I'd get those 'omg i said that' moods too before medication. They just came and went. I got yelled at once at my old job as a result. No one had EVER called me out on it before. I've had several of those moments on my new job. I'm mortified when I think of the destruction I was capable of causing.

Yeah, since the door was open when it happened, I have a feeling there may not be many people speaking to me tomorrow. I was telling the truth about some of the staff, if you know what I mean.

[Houston Heather]

Yeah, that one.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by faithgirl

I know the Cymbalta is making me agressive. I told my sister and friend what I said in my meeting with the boss and they about freaked out that I said what I did. All I can think of is the other stuff I want to say tomorrow! (In the morning I am happy as can be and pretty darn 'up' feeling).

To be truthful, I have had these type of episodes even without medication causing it. Maybe I should have kept the appointment for tomorrow but I'd have been mad if I liked him and couldn't afford him long term.

yanno, There are some people you just don't like. They are Aholes, and we have every right to get irritated with them. THAT is not a BiPo thing it is a human emotion. Over the top is one thing, but being angry is another. People GET angry.

I honestly tell you that DH and I fight MORE since I have been medicated than before. Not because I am more aggressive (I am less aggressive in my ups and my downs) But I try to talk to him or whatever, or make plans and he acts like...I dunno. I am just more aware of his moods than I used to be I guess. Meds don't change who you are, they just tone it down some.

[faithgirl]

I could use some toning down right now...i would never like this horrible person, drugs or not. But being able to handle such a person without feeling like my life is out of control and there's nothing I can do about it would be such a huge improvement. I went home last night and just had a very horrible night and that was with my regular drugs. I woke up at 2:30 still steaming and I don't think I ever did get back to sleep.

The past few weeks my hair has been coming out in handfuls and starting last week my jaw joints have hurt really bad. I think I am grinding my teeth at night. I also have a headache nearly everyday.

[Dr_Jim]

Don't mean to interupt,....I just wish you the best dealing with this.
I was diagnosed minor BP many years ago,...was on Klonopin and Trileptol for years,.....finally came off the meds, I felt they made life more miserable than simply being a bit BP.
Several years later, with much willpower and determination all is fantastic,....so much better than before the drugs and certainly much better than being on the drugs.

I sometimes wonder if aging can slowly affect some of the physiological causes of some of this stuff?

Anyway, hang in there!

[CurveControl]

Actually Jim, The effects usually grow worse with age and no treatment.

Perhaps you are suffering from the very mild diagnosis of Cyclothymia. Many patients with that level of BiPo do forgo treatment and do quite well.

It is low on the BiPo scale, and may not progress as much as other forms.
No.
Willpower nor determination will not control or cure BiPolar. Not any more than they can control seizure disorder, or any number of other physical illness. It IS a real illness, progressive and physical.

I am glad that you are doing well. For 40 years I thought I was doing just dandy too. Not saying you are Not, But often family members, friends and coworkers have a much clearer view of your true state than we ourselves do.

I wish you much luck on your journey.

[faithgirl]

Thanks for the well-wishes Jim. I do have to agree with Molly-my symptoms have gotten worse since just last year. I am tired of fooling around with it and I want a diagnosis, whether it's bipolar or something else. Glad you are doing well without the meds and i wish I could do the same, but I finally have to admit that I can't.

[Dr_Jim]

I would not argue with what you say.
I can only base this on my own, personal experiences,....was only diagnosed and treated by 1 doc, with no 2nd opinions.

My ignorance aside,...I still hope those needing it, find some relief.

[faithgirl]

Thanks again Jim, I appreciate that!

[Seelessofme]

Can any of you help me? My BFF just started lithium a couple of days ago. She is experiencing side effects (headache, confusion, exhaustion, nausea) and is worried that she won't be able to take lithium. Her psychiatrist isn't calling her back. Did anyone have strong side effects that subsided with time?