Spring BiPo Thread~

[CurveControl]

Hey Ladies (and any gents who want to join in)
How are you? Meds good?
Pdocs treating you well?

Does the change in weather affect your moods overmuch?
I am finding myself more cheerful, even though things have not changed that much yet.

[CurveControl]

How is the Gall bladder Heather?

[Houston Heather]

I had to put my cat down Sunday. Went up on the lithium to stave off the inevitable depression.

I'm sad, I miss him terribly, but I don't regret my decision - he was dying and very old for a cat (13). RIP Frosty, slideshow

My gallbladder is completely fine now, I passed all the stones.

[Houston Heather]

I never would have wanted to adopt Frosty if I'd known he was already 9 years old, but now I won't consider anything BUT an old, male, cat. Frosty would be pleased.

My other cat (the black one in the photos) brought Frosty home, so he may be out looking for my next cat right now. Our subdivision is near a busy road, so a lot of times people dump unwanted pets in our subdivision.

One thing I have is a list of things I love to do; for instance, gardening and knitting. I have a lot of memories of Frosty "helping" with both, which makes them kind of sad to do right now, but I'm still doing them. I know I need to take care of myself.

Frosty was very much "my" cat, although he loved Ron too, he was Momma's boy.

I can still remember the time I found Frosty eating the heads off my marigolds! Silly boy.

[CurveControl]

I am so sorry for your loss, Heather. I know that is quite a blow.

[djalomo]

Heather

I'm still bat**** insane.

I was feeling ok on the Celexa/Ativan/Temazapam cocktail, except that I was soooooo physically exhausted and apathetic.

So I swapped out the Celexa for Prozac, and felt awesome for a few days. But then couldn't sleep and could feel hypomania symptoms coming on.

I'm back to the Celexa/Ativan/Temazapam cocktail. I'm really tired but it's working ok for now - i have a move and a big project coming up next month and once that's out of the way we'll see if I need to try something else.

[Houston Heather]

Ack! You have my sympathy DJ. The lithium works really well for me but sometimes I can't use my hands properly, etc.

Give Piper a hug and kiss from me, please.

I'm planning a Frosty memorial garden by my front door, with white flowers. It's only about 10 square feet.

[CurveControl]

Dang DJ. I hope they can light on something you can tolerate for longer!

[Houston Heather]

[dmvgirl]

I've had my lamictal upped to 150 a day and as long as I haul my a$$ out of bed by 7:30am I have no problems getting to sleep anymore. No more laying in bed for 2-3 hours, now its 10-15 minutes.

I am soo happy spring is here and the sun is up later, it has a huge effect on me. I've started walking everyday, not sure how far, but its about 30 minutes at a good brisk rate. Except today, it snowed.

I'm sorry about Frosty Heather

DJ, you'll get there, your doc seems willing to work things out with you.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by dmvgirl

I've had my lamictal upped to 150 a day and as long as I haul my a$$ out of bed by 7:30am I have no problems getting to sleep anymore. No more laying in bed for 2-3 hours, now its 10-15 minutes.

I am soo happy spring is here and the sun is up later, it has a huge effect on me. I've started walking everyday, not sure how far, but its about 30 minutes at a good brisk rate. Except today, it snowed.

I'm sorry about Frosty Heather

DJ, you'll get there, your doc seems willing to work things out with you.

I love my Lamictal!
I takke 150 mg too.
Still take big sleep meds though.

[djalomo]

I'm so depressed/lazy/apathetic since my colonoscopy. I know it probably has to do with the lack of absorption of my meds during prep and skipping my AD the morning of, and I guess the sedative they gave me might have tinkered with it too. Either way, I've been sleeping non-stop for like 2 days now and can't be bothered to do anything. *sigh*

[CurveControl]

Just rest up DJ. Your body has had a shock, Those anesthesia meds are heavyweight, and the 'invasion' of your procedure has probably taken its toll too.

[Houston Heather]

Yeah.

My lithium would make anesthesia drugs more intense, so I need a smaller dose now.

Still running mixy/depressed but I make myself do things I love every day. It helps.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

Yeah.

My lithium would make anesthesia drugs more intense, so I need a smaller dose now.

Still running mixy/depressed but I make myself do things I love every day. It helps.

[Houston Heather]

Some food for thought... and more reason people hate admitting they have bipolar disorder:
Scroll down to story #2

Dear Abby:

My boyfriend, “Dirk,” and I have been dating nearly three years, and we recently moved in together. Before we met, he briefly dated a woman I’ll call “Lola,” who has bipolar disorder.

Although she was the one to end the relationship, Lola became jealous when she heard Dirk was dating me and started following us around. Dirk is a musician, and Lola would dance provocatively at his shows, hang on him and hug him.

Dirk has told Lola many times that she’s crossing the line. Eventually, she began seeing someone else and stopped tormenting us. But now that she has learned we’re living together, her crazy behavior has started up again. Dirk tells me any confrontation would be counterproductive and that the woman would be “overjoyed” to find out she’s causing me distress. He thinks she’s so unstable she might react violently. I’m fed up. What should we do?

HAD IT in Manhattan

Dear Had It:

Although Lola’s behavior is irritating, I’m casting my vote with your boyfriend. If you show her she is getting to you, her antics will only increase. Should Lola’s actions escalate to violence, the police should be called and a restraining order taken out.

I'd like to get opinions.

First of all, it would have been nice for someone to admit SHE ISN'T TAKING HER PILLS. No one who is medicated would behave thus, and it seems to me that some people with bipolar disorder thinks that excuses some horrible behavior. "I have Bipolar, and I don't take medication, I don't need it! You must love me just the way I am because I have Bipolar Disorder."

Others seem to equate bipolar to "dangerous looney tunes". I'm suprised they didn't make Glenn Close (?) Bipolar in Fatal Attraction.

[CurveControl]

It IS frustrating, I agree, but it is typical of untreated BIpo to act like that. And very possible that someone with BiPo to be sexually aggressive, especially if manic or in a psychotic state.

Untreated BiPo makes us all look bad, and sadly, accepting BiPo means owning previous bad behavior, and few people,with or without or MI, want to look too closely at the times they have behaved badly.
Seeing my sister, Who is MUCH more affected by her illness than I ever was (Though I admit to some very bad behavior) is eyeopening, She is Just Plain NUTZ!
She assaulted her boyfriend ( Live in) with a scythe and then tried to seduce the responding police officer!

The letter you post was not directed at at psych, and there is no way for the writer to know WHAT the MI is that the woman was suffering from, or what her medication could/should be, so I would expect no better, Though I would certainly hope for better.
TBH it is good advice. The woman could become dangerous.
Sad but true.

[Houston Heather]

OH, I don't doubt it... I guess what bothers me is the word bipolar, and then all this horrible behavior, followed by threats of violence, police, restraining order.

What about all the perfectly normal-seeming people out there with our illness, who do take their meds?

[djalomo]

OK folks:

Good mood, or hypomania? How can you tell the diff?

I'm going to a new doc today. I've been only treating my depression and anxiety for several months now and feel ok. But the past two days or so I've felt really GOOD. No weird shopping sprees, but I'm more extroverted and talkative than usual. I went for a run yesterday and felt good during and after it. I'm eating healthy and not drinking.

Still...my brain is racing a little and I just wanna play games on the internet and talk to friends. I feel like I'm been on a looooooong trip away and just got back.

Am I feeling good? Or feeling high?

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by djalomo

OK folks:

Good mood, or hypomania? How can you tell the diff?

I'm going to a new doc today. I've been only treating my depression and anxiety for several months now and feel ok. But the past two days or so I've felt really GOOD. No weird shopping sprees, but I'm more extroverted and talkative than usual. I went for a run yesterday and felt good during and after it. I'm eating healthy and not drinking.

Still...my brain is racing a little and I just wanna play games on the internet and talk to friends. I feel like I'm been on a looooooong trip away and just got back.

Am I feeling good? Or feeling high?

ask you DF. Ask your Best friend. Ask whomever comes into contact with you in some way on a daily basis. I am terrible at gauging my own moods.
Keeping a mood chart helped. You can google some templates for mood charts.

All I can say is that if you do have BiPo treatment for just depression has been known to backfire hard for some people.
The medication treatment for depression is a lot easier than the ordeal of reaching therapeutic levels of mood stabilizers.
I really hope you and you doc can settle on a medical regimen, with side effects that are not intolerable, and I hope that this time you and the doc will click and work together better than the others.
I went through a couple before I found my fit.

[Houston Heather]

When I'm manic, I want to talk and I want to spend. My thoughts fly around in my head. If I don't have "the flapping" thoughts, spendy, or SHUT UP HEATHER then I know I'm OK. Oh, and since I am mixed I turn into an evil woman, with a very bad temper. Everything pisses me off except my cat.

I start thinking "Maybe I need another lithium" and then I eat and take it because if I think I need it, I do.

I managed to pull a bad day out of the hole doing that today.

[djalomo]

Heather you look AMAZING!!!!

So, I saw the doc yesterday and she referred me to a nuerologist because of my seizures and some memory loss and disorientation. She doesn't think it's med related.

In terms of my good mood, we talked about it, and I told her I felt really good....but I'm taking a LOT of medication and wonder if there's a better solution. I told her about how I don't get mania naturally, only on amphetamines and so forth, but I do think I have some hypomania a few times a year. Still, on only antidepressants i've been doing pretty good since December or so.

My main issue right now is just that Paxil helped my depression, but my anxiety is OUT OF CONTROL and I don't like having to take 2 different benzos for it. I'm just on a lot of meds. We're slow tapering me off Paxil and I'm going to try Pristiq, and if I DO wind up having bipo symptoms there's a new bipo drug on the market that one of her patients has had good success with, and this patient also had the anxiety issues I have and had the problem aggravated a bit as well on Lamictal (which is weird, because that seems to happen so so so rarely) and had the same issues I had with Geodon.

So, we'll see. May 6 I'm meeting with the neurologist to see what he has to say.

Yesterday I was in shock and was a mess about how serious my internist was taking the seizures. Today I'm much much better. The shock wore off and I'm feeling relaxed and optimistic again.

[CurveControl]

I am glad you are feeling better.

Neuro is definitely the best next step for you!

Let us know how it goes!

I am thinking good thoughts and prayers for you sweetie.

[Houston Heather]

My mother and neice both have bipolar with seizures. Its apparently not common, but it does occur. Because Tasha and Mom have/had it (Mom went to Jesus) there must be a genetic component somewhere.

[CurveControl]

I have read, Heather, that some researchers have had some studies lead to the belief that BiPolar may actually be some sort of atypical seizure disorder, which is why anti seizure meds are often so successful in the treatment.
Makes some sense.

I have not read up on it like I should though. yet.

[Houston Heather]

Hmmmm. Interesting.

Mom was not diagnosed until mid 40's, but she ran away at age 13 and married my sister's dad. I had symptoms from todder ages.

Hopefully, because I am so faithful to meds, I won't have any seizure problems. That would really, really suck, especially if I were guiding Ron at the time.

[CurveControl]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

Hmmmm. Interesting.

Mom was not diagnosed until mid 40's, but she ran away at age 13 and married my sister's dad. I had symptoms from todder ages.

Hopefully, because I am so faithful to meds, I won't have any seizure problems. That would really, really suck, especially if I were guiding Ron at the time.

I had early symptoms too. Hyper child. lifelong insomnia. But Charming.*batts eyes* The school psych my mom took me to when I was five said I was precocious and my mom was lazy for not wanting to try to keep up

[JanBhere]

It that is true that Bi Po is a seizure disorder that could very well explain why my son doesnt ever remember his bad episodes. He says to me that its like he goes into a trance. There could very well be something to that idea..

[Houston Heather]

I know what I'm doing, but it's like I'm possessed. I can't care. The Bad Thought or impulse is so strong I have a terrible time battling it.

Example. One time Ron and I had a horrible argument over something. I was overwhelmed with the most powerful urge to knock him down and kick the $#@! out of him. I just barely managed to get to the front door and take a very long walk in the middle of the night until I felt better.

Ron was like "You could have been raped" and I said it was better than what I would have done if I'd stayed home. He thought I was blowing smoke. I wasn't.

That was before medication and diagnosis.

Welcome aboard! We love family too! I am AMAZED that my family still takes my phone calls.

[djalomo]

How interesting — thank you all for your info and support.

I'm on day 2 of Pristiq and I feel really good so far. My only issue is still the sleep — but my new doc is weaning me off the benzos (I'm almost all off) and I have to say, I feel MUCH MUCH more "normal" right now on my current cocktail. I'm doing Pristiq for anxiety/depression and I feel soo calm and not depressed, and Sontata for sleep.

I LOVE Sonata — it's been the ONLY one of the sleep drug that DOESN'T give me the munchies and I haven't had any weird amnesia issues with it or a weird hangover the next day with balance/coordination.

I'm also really really liking Pristiq — I feel the calmness I felt on Celexa but it's really working on my depression too.

I hope this is FINALLY the right combo.